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SCHEDULE: May 2017

Times listed for EASTERN and PACIFIC timezones except where otherwise noted.

Sunday, May 28

6:00 am
Everybody Loves Raymond (SAP)
Recovering Pessimist
Ray's efforts at optimism backfire.
TV-PG
6:30 am
Everybody Loves Raymond (SAP)
Dog, The
Both Ray and Robert want to keep a stray bulldog.
TV-PG
7:00 am
Friends (SAP)
One Where the Monkey Gets Away, The
Rachel accidentally lets Ross' pet monkey escape, and the friends form a search party. Rachel learns that her former best friend is engaged to marry Rachel's former fiance.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Friends (SAP)
One with the Evil Orthodontist, The
Rachel reunites with her duplicitous ex-fiance. Chandler agonizes about a woman who doesn't call him after the first date.
TV-14
8:00 am
Friends (SAP)
One with the Fake Monica, The
Monica meets a woman who helps her live out her fantasies. Ross' pet monkey becomes sexually mature and makes everyone crazy.
TV-PG
8:30 am
Friends (SAP)
One with the Ick Factor, The
Monica finds out more than she wants to know about her latest love. Chandler's friends at work treat him differently since his promotion. Ross' ex-wife begins giving birth.
TV-PG
9:00 am
Friends (SAP)
One with the Birth, The
When Carol gives birth, Ross and Susan almost miss the event. Joey befriends an unmarried pregnant woman.
TV-PG
9:30 am
Friends (SAP)
One Where Rachel Finds Out, The
Rachel finds out about Ross' secret love for her but another surprise awaits her.
TV-PG
10:00 am
Search Party
Mysterious Disappearance of the Girl No One Knew, The
When Dory discovers that her friend, Chantal has gone missing, she becomes obsessed with finding out what happened, even though her boyfriend, Drew and friends, Elliott and Portia, could care less.
TV-MA
10:30 am
Search Party
Woman Who Knew Too Much, The
Dory begins to doubt whether she saw Chantal the night before, but an offbeat realtor claims that she has the proof that Dory is looking for.
TV-14
11:00 am
Search Party
Night of One Hundred Candles, The
The crew makes waves at Chantal's vigil, where Dory is intent on telling the parents that she saw their daughter.
TV-14
11:30 am
Search Party
Captive Dinner Guest, The
It's the dinner party from Hell when Dory and Drew invite Portia and Chantal's intense ex-boyfriend over in an effort to get some answers out of him.
TV-14
12:00 pm
Search Party
Mystery of the Golden Charm, The
Dory meets a handsome private investigator named Keith, who guides her through a risky adventure to probe deeper into Chantal's personal life.
TV-MA
12:30 pm
Search Party
Secret of the Sinister Ceremony, The
The crew drops in on a sinister cult tied to Chantal's disappearance, but they may have bitten off more than they can chew when Dory and Drew come home to a threatening note.
TV-14
1:00 pm
Search Party
Riddle Within the Trash, The
Dory makes a huge connection in the case, while Drew is tempted by the fruits of another. Elliott's big charity launch ends disastrously when his integrity is challenged, and Portia causes a stir on the set of her show.
TV-MA
1:30 pm
Search Party
Return of the Forgotten Phantom, The
The world shames Elliott for being a liar so he seeks comfort from his ex-boyfriend, Marc. Portia copes with disappointments in her career and personal life, and Dory quits the case but gets reeled back in when she makes a sinister connection.
TV-MA
2:00 pm
Search Party
Password to the Shadows
The crew kicks into high gear sleuthing when they discover their biggest lead yet and they have no choice but to pay off an unlikely source for Chantal's possible whereabouts.
TV-MA
2:30 pm
Search Party
House of Uncanny Truths, The
The crew heads to where they suspect Chantal may be hiding, but when Dory is floored by a terrifying threat, things take a disastrous turn.
TV-MA
3:00 pm
Movie
Scary Movie 3
It all begins when roving reporter Cindy Campbell sets out to find a hard news story in the middle of television sweeps. She soon uncovers an outrageous onslaught of globe-threatening developments including alien invaders, killer videotapes, freaky crop circles, prophecies of The One, eerie-eyed children, ambitious white rappers and even a run-in with Michael Jackson. Faced with conspiracies of massive proportions, and a crew of very strange people following her around, Cindy must fight to stop evil from taking over the world yet again.
TV-14
4:30 pm
Movie
Fright Night
Charley is a high school senior who's on top of the world-he's running with the popular crowd and dating Amy, the most coveted girl in school. In fact, he's so cool, he's even dissing his best friend, Ed. But trouble arrives when Jerry moves in next door. He seems like a nice guy--at first. But there's something not quite right, and no one else, including Charley's mom seems to notice. After observing some very strange activity, Charley comes to an unmistakable conclusion: Jerry is a vampire preying on the neighborhood. Unable to convince anyone of this, Charley looks to popular Las Vegas illusionist and self-proclaimed vampire expert Peter Vincent for help and advice before taking matters into his own hands to get rid of the monster.
TV-14
6:30 pm
Movie (DVS)
Interview, The
Dave Skylark and producer Aaron Rapoport run the celebrity tabloid show "Skylark Tonight." When they land an interview with a surprise fan, North Korean dictator Kim Jong-un, they are recruited by the CIA to turn their trip to Pyongyang into an assassination mission.
TV-14
9:00 pm
Movie (DVS)
Rush Hour 2
A Hong Kong trip turns into a working vacation when two detectives stumble on a counterfeiting ring.
TV-14
11:00 pm
Movie (DVS)
Shrek
Once upon a time, in a far away swamp, there lived an ornery ogre named Shrek whose precious solitude is suddenly shattered by an invasion of annoying fairy tale characters. There are blind mice in his food, a big, bad wolf in his bed, three little homeless pigs and more, all banished from their kingdom by the evil Lord Farquaad. Determined to save their home--not to mention his own--Shrek cuts a deal with Farquaad and sets out to rescue the beautiful Princess Fiona to be Farquaad''s bride. Accompanying him on his mission is wisecracking Donkey, who will do anything for Shrek... except shut up. Rescuing the Princess from a fire-breathing dragon may prove the least of their problems when the deep, dark secret she has been keeping is revealed.
TV-PG
1:00 am
Movie (DVS)
Shrek 2
After battling a fire-breathing dragon and the evil Lord Farquaad to win the hand of Princess Fiona, Shrek now faces his greatest challenge: the in-laws. Shrek and Princess Fiona return from their honeymoon to find an invitation to visit Fiona''s parents, the King and Queen of the Kingdom of Far, Far Away. With Donkey along for the ride, the newlyweds set off. All of the citizens of Far, Far Away turn out to greet their returning Princess, and her parents happily anticipate the homecoming of their daughter and her new Prince. But no one could have prepared them for the sight of their new son-in-law, not to mention how much their little girl had changed. Little did Shrek and Fiona know that their marriage had foiled all of her father''s plans for her future--and his own. Now the King must enlist the help of a powerful Fairy Godmother, the handsome Prince Charming and that famed ogre killer ''Puss In Boots'' to put right his version of "happily ever after."
TV-PG
3:00 am
Movie (DVS)
Shrek the Third
Being king isn''t for everyone--especially if you''re a prickly ogre who smells like the shallow end of a swamp. When Shrek married Fiona, the last thing he wanted was to rule Far Far Away, but when his frogger-in-law, King Harold, suddenly croaks, Shrek is quickly fitted for the crown. Now, unless the reluctant would-be king can find a suitable replacement, he''ll be royally screwed for the rest of his days. As if Shrek didn''t have enough on his plate, Princess Fiona has another little surprise on the way. With his head spinning and his belly in knots, Shrek sets off on a quest to find the only other possible heir to the throne, Fiona''s long-lost cousin Artie, an underachieving medieval high schooler. While the ogre is away, his old nemesis Prince Charming rears his handsome head and returns to the kingdom of Far Far Away with redemption on his shallow little mind. Even with Donkey and the ever-so-suave Puss-in-Boots by their side, it''s going to take an ogre-sized effort--and a whole lot of help from Fiona and her band of princesses--for Shrek and Artie to save the day and find their own "Happily Ever After."
TV-PG
5:00 am
Married With Children
Master the Possibilities
When Buck, the Bundy family pooch, mistakenly receives a credit card in his name, Al and Peg decide to sample the good life and embark on a wild spending spree.
TV-PG
5:30 am
Married With Children
Peggy Loves Al, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah
All Peggy wants for Valentine's Day is to hear unromantic Al utter those three little words, I love you.
TV-PG
 

Monday, May 29

6:00 am
Married With Children
Great Escape, The
When the Bundy family spends the night in Al's shoe store while their house is being exterminated, Kelly is forced to be especially creative in slipping out for the night.
TV-PG
6:30 am
Married With Children
Impo-Dent
When Marcy accidentally dents Steve's brand new Mercedes, she finds it affects more than just his performance on the road.
TV-PG
7:00 am
Married With Children
Just Married ... with Children
Peggy and Al masquerade as their newlywed neighbors, Steve and Marcy Rhoades, on a game show called How Do I Love Thee and have shocking results.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Married With Children
Father Lode
Al finally comes into some money at the track but hasn't time to enjoy his winnings. He's too busy hiding the loot from his family.
TV-PG
8:00 am
Friends (SAP)
One with Ross's New Girlfriend, The
Rachel gets an unpleasant surprise when Ross returns home. Phoebe has varied success cutting the friends' hair.
TV-14
8:30 am
Friends (SAP)
One with the Breast Milk, The
Phoebe unwittingly disgusts everybody. Joey competes with a fellow salesman.
TV-PG
9:00 am
Friends (SAP)
One Where Heckles Dies, The
The downstairs neighbor dies and bequeaths his strange possessions to Monica and Rachel.
TV-PG
9:30 am
Friends (SAP)
One with Phoebe's Husband, The
Everyone is surprised when Phoebe's husband shows up.
TV-PG
10:00 am
Memorial Day Movie Marathon (DVS)
Shrek
Once upon a time, in a far away swamp, there lived an ornery ogre named Shrek whose precious solitude is suddenly shattered by an invasion of annoying fairy tale characters. There are blind mice in his food, a big, bad wolf in his bed, three little homeless pigs and more, all banished from their kingdom by the evil Lord Farquaad. Determined to save their home--not to mention his own--Shrek cuts a deal with Farquaad and sets out to rescue the beautiful Princess Fiona to be Farquaad''s bride. Accompanying him on his mission is wisecracking Donkey, who will do anything for Shrek... except shut up. Rescuing the Princess from a fire-breathing dragon may prove the least of their problems when the deep, dark secret she has been keeping is revealed.
TV-PG
12:00 pm
Memorial Day Movie Marathon (DVS)
Shrek 2
After battling a fire-breathing dragon and the evil Lord Farquaad to win the hand of Princess Fiona, Shrek now faces his greatest challenge: the in-laws. Shrek and Princess Fiona return from their honeymoon to find an invitation to visit Fiona''s parents, the King and Queen of the Kingdom of Far, Far Away. With Donkey along for the ride, the newlyweds set off. All of the citizens of Far, Far Away turn out to greet their returning Princess, and her parents happily anticipate the homecoming of their daughter and her new Prince. But no one could have prepared them for the sight of their new son-in-law, not to mention how much their little girl had changed. Little did Shrek and Fiona know that their marriage had foiled all of her father''s plans for her future--and his own. Now the King must enlist the help of a powerful Fairy Godmother, the handsome Prince Charming and that famed ogre killer ''Puss In Boots'' to put right his version of "happily ever after."
TV-PG
2:00 pm
Memorial Day Movie Marathon (DVS)
Shrek the Third
Being king isn''t for everyone--especially if you''re a prickly ogre who smells like the shallow end of a swamp. When Shrek married Fiona, the last thing he wanted was to rule Far Far Away, but when his frogger-in-law, King Harold, suddenly croaks, Shrek is quickly fitted for the crown. Now, unless the reluctant would-be king can find a suitable replacement, he''ll be royally screwed for the rest of his days. As if Shrek didn''t have enough on his plate, Princess Fiona has another little surprise on the way. With his head spinning and his belly in knots, Shrek sets off on a quest to find the only other possible heir to the throne, Fiona''s long-lost cousin Artie, an underachieving medieval high schooler. While the ogre is away, his old nemesis Prince Charming rears his handsome head and returns to the kingdom of Far Far Away with redemption on his shallow little mind. Even with Donkey and the ever-so-suave Puss-in-Boots by their side, it''s going to take an ogre-sized effort--and a whole lot of help from Fiona and her band of princesses--for Shrek and Artie to save the day and find their own "Happily Ever After."
TV-PG
4:00 pm
Bob's Burgers
Boyz 4 Now
While accompanying Tina to a "Boyz 4 Now" concert, Louise develops a crush on one of the lead singers, Boo Boo - and is in disbelief that she actually likes a boy! Meanwhile, Gene gets creative - and slightly offensive - in a table-setting competition.
TV-14
4:30 pm
Bob's Burgers
Carpe Museum
While acting as a parent chaperone on the school's trip to the museum, Bob has a father- daughter bonding moment with Louise. Meanwhile, Gene and his friends are on a hunt to find exhibits that feature the female anatomy. Also, Tina questions her dorkiness; and on the steps of the museum, Linda lends her unique chanting abilities to striking museum workers.
TV-14
5:00 pm
Bob's Burgers
Unnatural, The
After Gene loses his confidence at his baseball game, Linda decides to sign him up for baseball camp. The only problem is, she needs money to pay for it! Meanwhile, Tina discovers her love for espresso and becomes a caffeine addict.
TV-14
5:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Stewie Is Enceinte
Stewie fears that he and Brian are growing apart after Brian avoids several invitations to hangout. In an effort to rekindle their friendship, Stewie decides that having a baby would bring them back together.
TV-14
6:00 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Dr. C & the Women
After Cleveland diffuses an argument between Quagmire and Joe, Peter encourages him to open his own therapy office. Meanwhile, Meg gets a job as a TSA agent, and revels in the positive attention she gets for being the office hottie.
TV-14
6:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
#JOLO
Joe decides to become more spontaneous and independent, leaving Bonnie and quitting his job. This new Joe invites the guys on a road trip to Niagara Falls to celebrate.
TV-14
7:00 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Once Bitten
After Brian gets diagnosed with liver disease from his heavy drinking, Peter is stuck with the task of inserting BrianĂs suppository pills. When Brian bites PeterĂs arm in self-defense, Brian becomes the alpha dog.
TV-14
7:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Roasted Guy
While watching a celebrity roast with Brian, Peter is inspired to throw a roast for himself, but it backfires when his friends go further then he expected. Hurt by what was said, Peter decides to seek out a new group of friends.
TV-14
8:00 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Fighting Irish
When Liam Nesson comes to town to shoot a movie, Peter is convinced that he can beat him up. Unsuccessful, Peter winds up in jail but is bailed out by Liam Neeson and becomes his manservant.
TV-14
8:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Take My Wife
Peter and the guys are invited on a Bahamas couples' vacation with their wives. Upon arrival, their host reveals that they're at a couples' counseling retreat.
TV-14
9:00 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Pilling Them Softly
After Quagmire shows off his cooking skills to the gang, Lois suggests that he audition for Channel 5's new cooking show.
TV-14
9:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Papa Has a Rollin' Son
ItĂs nearly FathersĂ Day, and when Peter learns about JoeĂs distant relationship with his father Bud, he invites Bud to town.
TV-14
10:00 pm
American Dad (DVS)
Bazooka Steve
Steve becomes the town pariah after he convinces the star quarterback of the arena football team to stop playing. Roger forces Hayley to become a cab driver to pay him back for her gambling debts.
TV-14
10:30 pm
Angie Tribeca (DVS)
If You See Something, Solve Something
A naked woman crawls out of a child's backpack and doesn't remember a thing. Why She couldn't tell you. Tribeca helps her trace her steps while Geils and Tanner track down a murderer on the run from prison.
TV-14
11:00 pm
Conan (CC)
Episode 7987
Guests: Bill Burr, Lea DeLaria, Melissa Etheridge
TV-14
12:00 am
Angie Tribeca (DVS)
If You See Something, Solve Something
A naked woman crawls out of a child's backpack and doesn't remember a thing. Why She couldn't tell you. Tribeca helps her trace her steps while Geils and Tanner track down a murderer on the run from prison.
TV-14
12:30 am
Conan (CC)
Episode 7987
Guests: Bill Burr, Lea DeLaria, Melissa Etheridge
TV-14
1:30 am
Seinfeld
Marine Biologist, The
George poses as a marine biologist; guest Carol Kane.
TV-PG
2:00 am
2 Broke Girls (DVS)
And the Maybe Baby
The girls run into Caroline's newly engaged ex, Candy Andy, and Caroline offers to make his wedding cake. Later, when she sees Andy's seemingly perfect relationship and how he supports his fiancee's career, she wonders if she should have stayed with him.
TV-14
2:30 am
2 Broke Girls (DVS)
And the Crime Ring
Max and Caroline are arrested for breaking into a cute guy's apartment to retrieve some rings Caroline left there after she spent the night.
TV-14
3:00 am
Movie
Bad Boys II
Miami narcotics detectives Mike Lowrey and Marcus Burnett become part of a high-tech task force assigned to stem the flood of designer ecstasy into Miami. They unwittingly uncover a deadly conspiracy involving a ruthless drug lord who is determined to expand his empire and take control of the city's burgeoning narcotics trade, killing anyone who stands in his way. To make matters worse, Marcus' beautiful sister Syd, an undercover DEA agent, gets caught in the crossfire, forcing our heroes to the edge of the law. The assignment takes on further complications when romantic sparks start to fly between Mike and Syd, driving her overly protective brother completely around the bend. But Marcus and Mike must overcome their differences to bring down Tapia. And when Syd's cover is jeopardized, it's up to the Bad Boys to rescue her.
TV-14
5:30 am
Married With Children
Camping Show, The
Al and Steve's much-anticipated vacation in the great outdoors is ruined by female hormones and man-eating animals.
TV-PG
 

Tuesday, May 30

6:00 am
Married With Children
He Thought He Could
When Al finds a library book that is 31 years overdue, he decides to finally face the librarian who once pegged him as a deadbeat.
TV-PG
6:30 am
Married With Children
I'm Going to Sweatland
Al is up to his armpits in rock 'n' roll fanatics after Peggy sees an image of her idol in the sweat stains on one of Al's tee-shirts.
TV-PG
7:00 am
Married With Children
Poke High
While Kelly tries to score with a high school fullback, Al roots for the opposing team in hopes his old school record will remain intact.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Married With Children
Dump of My Own, A
Al sets out to fulfill a lifelong dream when he begins construction on his very own bathroom, equipped with the legendary Ferguson Toilet.
TV-PG
8:00 am
Married With Children
Her Cups Runneth Over
Peggy is so miserable when her favorite bra is discontinued that Al is forced to take matters into his own hands and find a replacement.
TV-PG
8:30 am
Married With Children
Bald and the Beautiful, The
When Al and Steve face up to the bald fact that they are both losing their hair, they decide to seek the counsel and encouragement of a hairless support group.
TV-PG
9:00 am
King of Queens, The
Raygin Bulls
When Carrie goes on a trip with her father, Doug and his friend (Ray Romano) plan a guys night on the town.
TV-PG
9:30 am
King of Queens, The
Knee Jerk
Doug fakes being injured so that Carrie, who feels responsible, will continue to tend to his every need and allow him to miss a dreaded wedding.
TV-PG
10:00 am
King of Queens, The
Baker's Doesn't
Doug needles Carrie when she is not as quick as he is to fulfill a promise to help out at church.
TV-PG
10:30 am
King of Queens, The
Present Tense
When the Heffernans receive an oil painting of themselves as an anniversary gift from Deacon and Kelly, they dislike the picture so much that they decide to stage a robbery rather than hang the painting in their home.
TV-PG
11:00 am
Cleveland Show, The
Terry Unmarried
When Donna reveals she never finalized her divorce, Cleveland decides to live the life of a bachelor and go drinking with his friends...only to discover that Terry Kimple is gay.
TV-14
11:30 am
Cleveland Show, The
Blue and the Gray and the Brown, The
Cleveland and his friends attempt to change the outcome of the Civil War after Cleveland is tricked into preserving a statue of the city's founding father, a slaveholder.
TV-14
12:00 pm
American Dad
Office Spaceman
When the CIA initiates an Alien Task Force, a peculiar twist of fate puts disguised Roger in charge. Roger marks Stan as an alien to protect his own identity. Meanwhile, Francine comes to grips with being left-handed.
TV-14
12:30 pm
American Dad (DVS)
Stanny Slickers II: The Legend of Ollie's Gold
After officially being declared dead due to an accident, Stan comes back to life and realizes he dreams of leaving a legacy on the world. He excavates his home in search of Ollie North's Contra-band buried treasure.
TV-14
1:00 pm
American Dad (DVS)
Spring Break-Up
With Francine gone to visit her parents, Roger holds a Spring Break blowout at the Smith house. During the festivities, Stan falls for a "Spring Break Buddy" and Steve is on the verge of losing his virginity.
TV-14
1:30 pm
American Dad
1600 Candles
In this Emmy-nominated episode, the Smiths' plans to celebrate Roger's 1,600th birthday are sidetracked when Steve announces that he's finally going through puberty. Ever fearful of the thought of a Steve with raging hormones, Stan and Francine try to bypass the pains by having experimental medicine injected into Steve's head.
TV-14
2:00 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
And Then There Were Fewer Part 1 & 2
Some vacations are to die for.
TV-14
3:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with Five Steaks and an Eggplant, The
The friends want to give Ross a birthday party but disagree about money. Monica gets promoted and learns a tough lesson.
TV-PG
3:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with the Baby on the Bus, The
Matt and Chandler try to attract women with baby Ben. Phoebe gets terminated from her singing job and replaced by a professional, Stephanie.
TV-PG
4:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where Ross Finds Out, The
Dramatic developments occur in Ross and Rachel's relationship. Chandler regrets asking Monica to help him lose weight.
TV-PG
4:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with the Lesbian Wedding, The
Carol and Susan prepare for their wedding with some help from an uncomfortable Ross.
TV-PG
5:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One After the Super Bowl Part 1, The
Ross searches for his former pet monkey. Joey dates an obsessed fan.
TV-PG
5:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One After the Super Bowl Part 2, The
Ross spends some quality time with Marcel, his former pet monkey. Chandler gets a big surprise from a sexy former classmate.
TV-PG
6:00 pm
Seinfeld
Dinner Party, The
The gang shops for last-minute gifts for a dinner party.
TV-PG
6:30 pm
Seinfeld
Pie, The
A date's refusal to eat pie obsesses Jerry; a mannequin resembles Elaine; guest Lane Davies.
TV-PG
7:00 pm
Seinfeld
Stand-In, The
Kramer is a stand-in on a soap opera; George wants to break up with a girlfriend.
TV-PG
7:30 pm
Seinfeld
Wife, The
A girlfriend (Courteney Cox) poses as Jerry's wife so he can get a dry-cleaning discount.
TV-PG
8:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Hofstadter Isotope, The
A fellow comic book enthusiast's hitting on Penny leads to Leonard, Raj and Howard going to a bar's Ladies' Night.
TV-PG
8:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Vegas Renormalization, The
Leonard and Raj take Wolowitz to Las Vegas to help him get over his break-up with Leslie. Sheldon, home alone and looking forward to it, locks himself out and has only one other place to stay, Penny's.
TV-14
9:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Classified Materials Turbulence, The
Leonard is torn between being honest or self-serving when Stuart asks his advice for an upcoming second date with Penny. Wolowitz realizes there's a crucial error in a toilet he designed for the International Space Station.
TV-PG
9:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Monopolar Expedition, The
The guys' prestigious offer to work over the summer at the North Pole, and Penny's resultant behavior leaves Leonard unsure if he should go.
TV-PG
10:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Electric Can Opener Fluctuation, The
Discovering Leonard, Raj and Howard fudged the results of his Arctic research expedition, a disgraced Sheldon heads home to Texas.
TV-PG
10:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Jiminy Conjecture, The
Sheldon and Howard wager comic books over a cricket's species. Meanwhile, a less-than-perfect romantic night agonizes Leonard and Penny.
TV-PG
11:00 pm
Conan (CC)
Episode 7989
Guests: Jamie Dornan, Blake Anderson, Orny Adams
TV-14
12:00 am
Seinfeld
Fire, The
A kitchen fire makes George confront his cowardliness; guests Melanie Chartoff, Dom Irrera.
TV-PG
12:30 am
Conan (CC)
Episode 7989
Guests: Jamie Dornan, Blake Anderson, Orny Adams
TV-14
1:30 am
Seinfeld
Opposite, The
George learns success lies in doing the opposite of what he would normally do; guests Dedee Pfeiffer, Regis Philbin, Kathie Lee Gifford; French Stewart.
TV-PG
2:00 am
2 Broke Girls (DVS)
And the Knock Off Knockout
Max and Caroline get into a legal battle with two teens who knocked off their cupcake T-shirts and sold them.
TV-14
2:30 am
2 Broke Girls (DVS)
And the Great Unwashed
Max and Caroline learn that one of their customers at the diner is a successful photographer who is keeping a secret.
TV-14
3:00 am
Movie
Gravity
Two astronauts must fight for survival after disaster strikes during a space mission.
TV-14
5:00 am
Married With Children
I'll See You in Court
Peggy hopes an overnight stay in a motel will liven up her sex life with Al only to discover their most intimate moments have been videotaped by the management.
TV-PG
5:30 am
Married With Children
Gypsy Cried, The
When a gypsy fortune teller predicts disaster for Marcy and good fortune for Al, Steve and Peggy, Marcy insists that they accompany her on a plane trip to New York, first class, of course.
TV-PG
 

Wednesday, May 31

6:00 am
Married With Children
Requiem for a Dead Barber
When Al's long-time barber passes on, Al is forced to face the fact that the old-fashioned barber shop is a thing of the past and resigns himself to a future of beauty salon haircuts.
TV-PG
6:30 am
Married With Children
Eatin' Out
When the Bundy's receive a modest inheritance check from Peg's deceased uncle, they decide to splurge and eat out at an elegant restaurant.
TV-PG
7:00 am
Married With Children
My Mom, the Mom
Peggy is the hit of Mother/Daughter Career Day at Kelly's school when she instructs the girls in the art of being a housewife, including demonstrations of wallet pilfering and mastering the TV remote control.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Married With Children
Can't Dance, Don't Ask Me
When Kelly is faced with a choice of getting kicked out of school or joining the tap dance club, she swallows her pride, buckles on her tap shoes and performs some dirty dancing that leaves the audience sweating in their seats.
TV-PG
8:00 am
Married With Children
Three Job, No Income Family, A
When Peggy gets a job selling cosmetics and brings home more money than Al, he gets a second job to regain his self-respect but still finds himself losing the breadwinning game.
TV-PG
8:30 am
Married With Children
Harder They Fall, The
After Peggy gives the highway salute to a rude driver while in the Rhoades' car, Steve is obsessed with the fear the enraged driver, a possible ex-con, may come looking for him.
TV-PG
9:00 am
King of Queens, The
Buggie Nights
When Arthur brings back bug-infested hotel sheets from his vacation in Florida, the creatures take over the house and force Doug and Carrie to move out.
TV-PG
9:30 am
King of Queens, The
Sold-y Locks
Doug convinces Carrie to sell her hair so they can afford a cruise, but finds he does not like her new, shorter style.
TV-PG
10:00 am
King of Queens, The
Emotional Rollrcoaster
Doug tells Carrie that, as part of the IPS management program, he needs to conquer a local roller coaster he's been yearning to ride.
TV-PG
10:30 am
King of Queens, The
Four Play
Doug realizes he has more in common with Deacon's wife than with Deacon, so he starts spending time with her.
TV-PG
11:00 am
Cleveland Show, The
Way the Cookie Crumbles, The
Cleveland and his friends target a con man who scammed Cookie and Freight Train out of their life savings; Rallo uses a toy microphone to give his vocal skills a workout.
TV-14
11:30 am
Cleveland Show, The
To Live and Die in VA
Lester grows suicidal after losing his life savings in Cleveland's beer truck business; Rallo opens his own barbershop.
TV-14
12:00 pm
American Dad
One That Got Away, The
Roger discovers that one of his personas has taken on a life of his own. Back at home, the Smith family becomes addicted to the 1970s electronic game "Simon."
TV-14
12:30 pm
American Dad
One Little Word
When Stan becomes his boss' new advisor, he feels like he can't say no to anything, not even outrageous personal requests. But when Francine gets involved in the situation and his annoying "yes-man" antics ruin her Valentine's Day vacation, she does everything in her power to force him to say "no".
TV-14
1:00 pm
American Dad
Choosey Wives Choose Smith
Stan becomes jealous when he finds out Francine was once engaged to a pilot whose plane crashed, and that she seemed to settle for Stan before learning that her former fiancÚ was still alive. Stan and Roger try to track the man down, while Francine must choose between her husband and her lost love.
TV-14
1:30 pm
American Dad
Escape from Pearl Bailey
Steve plots revenge against Lisa Silver and the cool kids after Debbie loses her bid to become student council president. But when the cool kids stage a counterattack, will Steve and his friends survive
TV-14
2:00 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Excellence in Broadcasting
Lois accuses conservative radio talk show host Rush Limbaugh of brainwashing Brian into thinking he supports Republican values.
TV-14
2:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Welcome Back, Carter
Peter extorts Carter after finding out he's having an affair with another woman.
TV-14
3:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with the Prom Video, The
Monica's old home video shows Ross' true feelings for Rachel. Joey gives a gaudy gift to Chandler.
TV-PG
3:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where Ross and Rachel...You Know, The
Ross and Rachel encounter obstacles to romance. Monica becomes enamored with a handsome, older doctor.
TV-14
4:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where Joey Moves Out, The
Monica's parents find out about her middle-aged boyfriend. Chandler and Joey argue and it could mean the end of their living arrangement.
TV-PG
4:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where Eddie Moves In, The
Joey wants to move back in with Chandler, but there's a new problem. Phoebe tapes a rock video. Ross upsets Monica.
TV-PG
5:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where Dr. Ramoray Dies, The
Monica and Richard experience the same romantic problems as Rachel and Ross. Joey's ill-advised comments to a fan magazine threaten his acting career.
TV-14
5:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where Eddie Won't Go, The
Chandler wants his annoying new roommate to move out. Joey's exorbitant bills come due. The women learn from a book about personal empowerment.
TV-PG
6:00 pm
Seinfeld
Raincoats Part 1, The
Kramer's scheme to sell vintage raincoats backfires; George sells his dad's clothes; guest Judge Reinhold.
TV-PG
6:30 pm
Seinfeld
Raincoats Part 2, The
Kramer's scheme to sell vintage raincoats backfires; George sells his dad's clothes; guest Judge Reinhold.
TV-PG
7:00 pm
Seinfeld
Hamptons, The
Jerry's girlfriend sees George naked during a weekend at the beach.
TV-PG
7:30 pm
Seinfeld
Pilot
A woman's impending visit excites Jerry, until he learns she's getting married.
TV-PG
8:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Gothowitz Deviation, The
Howard takes Raj along to check out the Goth dating scene. Sheldon uses chocolate as part of a behavior modification experiment on Penny.
TV-PG
8:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Pirate Solution, The
Facing a return to India, Raj needs a job desperately enough to consider working for Sheldon. Meanwhile, Howard becomes a third wheel to Leonard and Penny.
TV-PG
9:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Creepy Candy Coating Corollary, The
Sheldon looks forward to squaring off against the one actor from the Star Trek universe he holds enmity towards, Wil Wheaton, in a fantasy collectible card game tournament. Wolowitz cashes in on an old pact with Leonard to get Penny to set him up with a friend of hers.
TV-PG
9:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Cornhusker Vortex, The
Leonard, hoping to fit in with Penny's football-loving friends, gets tutored in the sport by Sheldon. Raj is infuriated when Wolowitz's skirt-chasing leads to the loss of his prized patang.
TV-PG
10:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Guitarist Amplification, The
Leonard and Penny's first big fight sees Sheldon playing mediator due to childhood trauma that's left him with an inability to be around loud verbal conflicts.
TV-PG
10:30 pm
Full Frontal with Samantha Bee
Episode 2048
TV-MA
11:00 pm
Conan (CC)
Episode 7995
Guests: David Oyelowo, Louie Anderson, Angel Olsen
TV-14
12:00 am
Seinfeld
Male Unbonding
Jerry finds ending a friendship harder than ending a romance.
TV-PG
12:30 am
Conan (CC)
Episode 7995
Guests: David Oyelowo, Louie Anderson, Angel Olsen
TV-14
1:30 am
Angie Tribeca
Pilot
The mayor is being blackmailed and the lieutenant is just sick about it. Angie Tribeca is assigned a new partner, Jay Geils, to find the blackmailer and bring him to justice. The only problem Tribeca works alone.
TV-14
2:00 am
Angie Tribeca
Wedding Planner Did It, The
A baker's been murdered and the lieutenant is just sick about it. Tribeca must track down the murderer before any other people get murdered by that murderer. The only problem She doesn't know who did it.
TV-14
2:30 am
Angie Tribeca
Famous Ventriloquist Did It, The
A ventriloquist is dead and the lieutenant is just sick about it. On the case, Tribeca delves into the salacious world of American ventriloquism. The only problem Geils always wanted to be a ventriloquist, which may not sound like a problem but is.
TV-PG
3:00 am
Angie Tribeca
Thumb Affair, The
A priceless work of art is missing and the lieutenant is extremely sick. Tribeca and Geils search and high and low and in the middle to recover the stolen painting. The only problems The demons in Tribeca's past and the lieutenant's lingering illness.
TV-14
3:30 am
Angie Tribeca
Commissioner Bigfish
Tribeca and Geils are poking around into a prostitution ring and the lieutenant is just sick, mostly about it. Afraid of what they might uncover, he orders them to stop. The only problem "Stop" isn't a word in Angie Tribeca's vocabulary.
TV-14
4:00 am
Married With Children
House That Peg Lost, The
When Steve and Marcy return from vacation after entrusting the keys to their house to Peggy, they're shocked to find a big hole where their house used to be.
TV-PG
4:30 am
Married With Children
Married ... with Prom Queen Part 1
In this two-part story, Peggy and Al attend the Polk High School Reunion where Peggy is determined to defeat her old nemesis for the title of Reunion Queen.
TV-PG
5:00 am
Married With Children
Married ... with Prom Queen: the Sequel Part 2
Peggy vigorously campaigns for the title of Reunion Queen while Al settles an old score with a former classmate at the Polk High School Reunion.
TV-PG
5:30 am
Married With Children
Computer Show, The
Peggy brings the family closer to the poorhouse when she insists on buying a home computer.
TV-PG
 

Thursday, June 1

6:00 am
Married With Children
Here's Lookin' at You, Kid
When a neighborhood peeping tom has taken a peek at everyone on the block except Peggy, she tries to rectify the situation by leaving milk, cookies and a ladder.
TV-PG
6:30 am
Married With Children
Hot off the Grill
In honor of Labor Day, Al Bundy treats Peggy, Kelly, Bud, Steve and Marcy to an old-fashioned barbecue, Bundy style.
TV-PG
7:00 am
Married With Children
Dead Men Don't Do Aerobics
When Peggy wins a personalized workout with TV fitness host Jim Jupiter, the healthiest man in Chicago, he sets out to change her unhealthful lifestyle but she changes his instead.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Married With Children
Buck Saves the Day
When Al and Steve take Bud and his friends on a camping trip, Kelly sees a friendly poker game with the girls as a chance to earn money for a rock concert.
TV-PG
8:00 am
Married With Children
Tooth or Consequences
Stricken with a toothache, Al reluctantly visits a dentist for the first time, leaving him in too much pain to enjoy the family meal that Peggy has begrudgingly agreed to prepare.
TV-PG
8:30 am
Married With Children
He Ain't Much, But He's Mine
When a flashy blond at the beauty parlor brags about her affair with a married man, Peggy worries Al is picking up more than a spare on his bowling night.
TV-PG
9:00 am
King of Queens, The
Hartford Whaler
Doug tries to be romantic by making an unexpected appearance at Carrie's company retreat; Danny and Spence sneak into a Huey Lewis concert.
TV-PG
9:30 am
King of Queens, The
Acting Out
Carrie considers moving Arthur into a retirement home after he sets the basement on fire.
TV-PG
10:00 am
King of Queens, The
Fight Schlub
Doug plots revenge after learning that his friendship with a driver from a rival service was nothing more than a con.
TV-PG
10:30 am
King of Queens, The
King Pong
After losing to Carrie, Doug asks Arthur to help him improve his pingpong game.
TV-PG
11:00 am
Cleveland Show, The
Essence of Cleveland, The
Complications ensue when Cleveland bonds with a formerly heavyset classmate of Donna's.
TV-14
11:30 am
Cleveland Show, The
Ship'rect
Cleveland befriends celebrity idol Barry Shadwell and joins his sailing team, but has a change of heart about participating in a sailing event after he and Shadwell share a kiss.
TV-14
12:00 pm
American Dad
Pulling Double Booty
Hayley's boyfriend, Jeff, breaks up with her. After going on a short rampage through the mall after the break-up, Hayley falls for Stan's body double, Bill, from the CIA. Things take a bizarre twist when the double begins hitting on Francine. Meanwhile, Roger and Steve get their first summer job at a Chinese chicken hatchery.
TV-14
12:30 pm
American Dad
Phantom of the Telethon
Stan hosts a CIA telethon to raise a million dollars for their torture programs. Meanwhile, an angry Roger works to sabotage the event. When Roger releases a terrorist at the telethon, Stan must find a way to meet the telethon's goal before everyone is blown up.
TV-14
1:00 pm
American Dad
Chimdale
Roger, Francine, Hayley, and Klaus head off to the Chimdale Spa for a week of relaxation, but instead are hounded by nosey hotel detective, Ron Turlington. Back at home, Steve discovers that Stan is bald. Betrayed by Stan's deception, Steve steals Stan's wig and sneaks off to Chimdale to tell the family the truth.
TV-14
1:30 pm
American Dad
Stan Time
Fed up with a lack of alone time, Stan starts taking experimental CIA pills that allow him to remain fully awake 24/7. Using his new-found "Stan Time," Stan enters the world of competitive classic videogaming. When Francine discovers Stan's pills, she starts off on her own career. As Stan and Francine begin to drift apart, Stan must decide what's more important - "Stan Time" or family time. Meanwhile, Steve and Roger write a movie together.
TV-14
2:00 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Halloween on Spooner Street
On Halloween, Stewie plots revenge after his candy is taken away by bullies; Meg determines to use a Halloween disguise as a means of hooking up with a boy; Peter and Joe target Quagmire for Halloween pranks.
TV-14
2:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Baby, You Knock Me Out
Peter coaxes Lois into entering an amateur boxing match, where Lois easily defeats her opponent-launching her career as a professional pugilist.
TV-14
3:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where Old Yeller Dies, The
Monica's boyfriend impresses Chandler and Joey. Phoebe finds out what she missed as a child.
TV-PG
3:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with the Bullies, The
Chandler and Joey are scared of two bullies. Phoebe meets her long-lost family members.
TV-PG
4:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with the Two Parties, The
Rachel gets a surprise at her birthday party when her parents show up.
TV-PG
4:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with the Chicken Pox, The
When Phoebe catches chicken pox, her chances for romance with a former lover are almost ruined. Monica worries that she is too strange for Richard.
TV-PG
5:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with Barry and Mindy's Wedding, The
Rachel is a bridesmaid at her ex-fiance's wedding. Monica and Richard's relationship is jeopardized when the subject of children is discussed.
TV-PG
5:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with the Princess Leia Fantasy, The
Ross' secret fantasy doesn't stay secret for long after he confides in Rachel. Chandler resumes an old relationship.
TV-PG
6:00 pm
Seinfeld
Stakeout, The
Jerry woos an ex-girlfriend's friend.
TV-PG
6:30 pm
Seinfeld
Robbery, The
Jerry's decision to move sets off a chain of events.
TV-PG
7:00 pm
Seinfeld
Stock Tip, The
George gives Jerry a bad stock-tip.
TV-PG
7:30 pm
Seinfeld
Engagement, The
In an effort to grow up, George proposes marriage to former girlfriend Susan.
TV-PG
8:00 pm
Seinfeld
Postponement, The
Feeling overwhelmed, George wants to postpone marrying Susan.
TV-PG
8:30 pm
Seinfeld
Maestro, The
Elaine's boyfriend's comments on villas in Tuscany stirs Jerry's curiosity.
TV-PG
9:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Adhesive Duck Deficiency, The
With the rest of the gang off on a desert camping trip to view the Leonid meteor shower, Sheldon must play hero after Penny slips in the tub and dislocates her shoulder.
TV-PG
9:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Vengeance Formulation, The
Barry Kripke pranks Sheldon during his spot on NPR, leaving him with a taste for vengeance. Wolowitz, pressured by Bernadette to define their relationship, gets advice from a fantasy version of Katee Sackhoff.
TV-14
10:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Gorilla Experiment, The
Penny seeks Sheldon's help to better comprehend Leonard's physics work. Wolowitz sees green when Leonard invites Bernadette to watch an experiment.
TV-PG
10:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Maternal Congruence, The
A Christmas visit from his mother has Leonard discovering she's kept a lot of news from him that she shares with Sheldon and worrying if she'll approve of his romance with Penny.
TV-PG
11:00 pm
Conan (CC)
Conan Without Borders: Made in Mexico
With all of the negative news about the current state of the U.S.-Mexico relationship, Conan has decided to strike a positive note by heading to Mexico City, where he'll outsource his show by shooting his latest "CONAN Without Borders" special with the help of an all-Mexican staff, crew, guests and studio audience.
TV-14
12:00 am
Seinfeld
Wink, The
An uncontrollable wink creates problems for George and Kramer.
TV-PG
12:30 am
Conan (CC)
Conan Without Borders: Made in Mexico
With all of the negative news about the current state of the U.S.-Mexico relationship, Conan has decided to strike a positive note by heading to Mexico City, where he'll outsource his show by shooting his latest "CONAN Without Borders" special with the help of an all-Mexican staff, crew, guests and studio audience.
TV-14
1:30 am
Seinfeld
Hot Tub, The
Elaine's house guest arrives for the city's marathon; Kramer gets a hot tub.
TV-PG
2:00 am
2 Broke Girls (DVS)
And the Cupcake Captives
Sophie's wedding is interrupted by a hostage situation. Meanwhile, Max and Caroline's cupcake business gets some unwanted attention when a tenant who is wearing one of their company's T-shirts is arrested.
TV-14
2:30 am
2 Broke Girls (DVS)
And the Fat Cat
Max and Caroline's missing cat, Nancy, is returned by a handsome businessman; and Nancy comes home with a big surprise.
TV-14
3:00 am
Movie
Knight and Day
At breakneck speed, secret agent Roy Miller sends the ordinary-seeming June Havens' life on a screeching detour and vice versa. June boarded a plane in Wichita, Kansas and began chatting up her charming, mysterious seatmate - Roy. Soon after, everything changed. Suddenly, the plane was hurtling into a cornfield without any living crew or passengers. Without even time to catch her breath, June finds herself being pursued around the globe - dodging bullets in Boston, leaping rooftops in Austria, and running from bulls in Seville - all in the company of a potentially duplicitous, possibly unstable yet decidedly alluring secret agent at the center of a life-or-death adventure that will push these two people from opposite worlds to do the one thing they've long avoided: trust. Now, nothing will be the same again for them, as this exceptional secret operative finds himself undone by ordinary love and this everyday woman finds herself capable of the most extraordinary things she could imagine.
TV-14
5:00 am
Everybody Loves Raymond (SAP)
Mozart
As an example for Ally, Ray takes piano lessons from Marie.
TV-PG
5:30 am
Everybody Loves Raymond (SAP)
Anniversary
Ray blames himself for his parents' long, miserable marriage.
TV-PG
 

Friday, June 2

6:00 am
Married With Children
Fair Exchange
The Bundys are elated over the extra income they receive when they house a foreign exchange student but Kelly gets a run for her money when the student turns out to be a beautiful, sexy French girl.
TV-PG
6:30 am
Married With Children
Desperately Seeking Miss October
Al panics when Peggy sells his beloved collection of Playboy magazines to buy a good luck idol to help her win the lottery.
TV-PG
7:00 am
Married With Children
976-SHOE
Al tries to cash in on his knowledge of shoe business by starting a shoe hotline.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Married With Children
Oh, What a Feeling
When Al's car bites the dust, he digs up his nest egg and heads for the auto showroom to wheel and deal for the car of his dreams.
TV-PG
8:00 am
Married With Children
At the Zoo
After couch potato in-training Steve is fired, he plays hooky from his job hunt to go to the zoo determined to save a sea turtle named Bosco.
TV-PG
8:30 am
Married With Children
Who'll Stop the Rain
A rainstorm brings out the handyman in Al, who doggedly attempts to fix a leaky roof.
TV-PG
9:00 am
King of Queens, The
Dreading Vows
Doug and Carrie decide to renew their wedding vows, then try to cancel the ceremony; Arthur debates keeping his wedding present for himself.
TV-PG
9:30 am
King of Queens, The
Doug Less Part 2
Newly slim Doug surprises Carrie with a romantic getaway to a resort in the mountain; romance turns to anger when Carrie discovers that Doug was at the same resort with an old girlfriend.
TV-PG
10:00 am
King of Queens, The
Doug Less Part 1
Newly slim Doug surprises Carrie with a romantic getaway to a resort in the mountain; romance turns to anger when Carrie discovers that Doug was at the same resort with an old girlfriend.
TV-PG
10:30 am
King of Queens, The
Nocturnal Omission
Doug decides not to ruin Deacon's weekend with a beautiful stewardess by telling him about his ex-wife's plans.
TV-14
11:00 am
Cleveland Show, The
Back to Cool
After Junior bonds with Donna's ex-husband, Robert, Cleveland challenges Robert to a "Coolympics" competition.
TV-14
11:30 am
Cleveland Show, The
Show of Shows, The
After his public access television show bombs, Cleveland changes the format after studying day time talk shows with a large female demographic; Murray writes Rallo a hip hop song.
TV-14
12:00 pm
American Dad
Family Affair
Roger is on the outs with Stan and the family when they discover he has been seeing other families behind their back. Before they can truly forgive him, Roger must overcome his family infidelity. Meanwhile, Klaus buys everyone tickets to see his favorite band.
TV-14
12:30 pm
American Dad
Live and Let Fry
Stan turns to smuggling when trans fat is banned from Langley Falls. But when Inspector Turlington of the Langley Falls police becomes suspicious of Stan, Stan recruits Steve into his illegal enterprise. Now Steve must find a way to keep the trans fat flowing while under Turlington's watch. Meanwhile, Roger helps Klaus claim an inheritance.
TV-14
1:00 pm
American Dad (DVS)
Roy Rodgers McFreely
After term limits force Stan out of his position as president of the HOA, Roger steps in as the new leader under the guise of one Roy Rogers McFreely. Roger uses his power to pass new resolutions and by-laws solely to anger Stan, who earlier refused to buy Roger grenadine. Stan teams up with Hayley and plots to have Roger removed from office.
TV-14
1:30 pm
American Dad (DVS)
Jack's Back
When Stan's con-man dad Jack resurfaces in prison awaiting trial for a crime he did not commit, Steve gets Stan to let Jack stay with them under house arrest. Steve takes the opportunity to reconcile the two, but Stan is convinced that Jack is just using them to escape prison. Meanwhile, Hayley interns at Roger's attic bar.
TV-14
2:00 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Brian Writes a Best Seller
After Brian writes a bestselling self-help book, he hires Stewie to be his publicist and begins treating him poorly during a book promotion.
TV-14
2:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
New Kidney in Town
Peter ruins his kidneys after concocting his own energy drink, prompting Brian to volunteer donating his organs; as President Obama plans on visiting the high school, Chris plagiarizes Meg's thoughts for an essay on hope.
TV-14
3:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where No One's Ready, The
Ross becomes frantic trying to get everyone ready to leave to hear his speech at the museum.
TV-PG
3:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with the Jam, The
Monica wants to have a baby. A man is stalking Phoebe.
TV-PG
4:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with the Metaphorical Tunnel, The
Chandler wants to commit to a relationship with Janice. Phoebe poses as Joey's agent.
TV-PG
4:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with Frank Jr., The
Phoebe tries to be more friendly with her half-brother. Ross meets Isabella Rossellini.
TV-PG
5:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with the Flashback, The
The friends recall secrets from their pasts.
TV-PG
5:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with the Race Car Bed, The
Joey sees Janice kissing her husband, whom she is divorcing while she dates Chandler. Rachel's father clashes with Ross.
TV-PG
6:00 pm
Seinfeld
Soup Nazi, The
Jerry's favorite soup vendor won't serve his new girlfriend (Alexandra Wentworth).
TV-PG
6:30 pm
Seinfeld
Secret Code, The
George conceals his ATM code from fiancee Susan; guest John O'Hurley.
TV-PG
7:00 pm
Seinfeld
Pool Guy, The
The pool man at Jerry's health club wants to be his best friend.
TV-PG
7:30 pm
Seinfeld
Sponge, The
Elaine considers intimacy with her new boyfriend (Scott Patterson).
TV-PG
8:00 pm
Movie (DVS)
Wrath of the Titans
A decade after his heroic defeat of the monstrous Kraken, Perseus-the demigod son of Zeus-is attempting to live a quieter life as a village fisherman and the sole parent to his 10-year old son, Helius. Meanwhile, a struggle for supremacy rages between the gods and the Titans. Dangerously weakened by humanity's lack of devotion, the gods are losing control of the imprisoned Titans and their ferocious leader, Kronos, father of the long-ruling brothers Zeus, Hades and Poseidon. The triumvirate had overthrown their powerful father long ago, leaving him to rot in the gloomy abyss of Tartarus, a dungeon that lies deep within the cavernous underworld. Perseus cannot ignore his true calling when Hades, along with Zeus' godly son, Ares, switch loyalty and make a deal with Kronos to capture Zeus. The Titans' strength grows stronger as Zeus' remaining godly powers are siphoned, and hell is unleashed on earth. Enlisting the help of the warrior Queen Andromeda, Poseidon's demigod son, Argenor, and fallen god Hephaestus, Perseus bravely embarks on a treacherous quest into the underworld to rescue Zeus, overthrow the Titans and save mankind.
TV-14
10:00 pm
Movie (DVS)
Knight and Day
At breakneck speed, secret agent Roy Miller sends the ordinary-seeming June Havens' life on a screeching detour and vice versa. June boarded a plane in Wichita, Kansas and began chatting up her charming, mysterious seatmate - Roy. Soon after, everything changed. Suddenly, the plane was hurtling into a cornfield without any living crew or passengers. Without even time to catch her breath, June finds herself being pursued around the globe - dodging bullets in Boston, leaping rooftops in Austria, and running from bulls in Seville - all in the company of a potentially duplicitous, possibly unstable yet decidedly alluring secret agent at the center of a life-or-death adventure that will push these two people from opposite worlds to do the one thing they've long avoided: trust. Now, nothing will be the same again for them, as this exceptional secret operative finds himself undone by ordinary love and this everyday woman finds herself capable of the most extraordinary things she could imagine.
TV-14
12:00 am
Movie
Wild Wild West
Special government agent James West and his co-hort Artemus Gordon, team up to thwart the diabolical Dr Arliss Loveless who is plotting to assassinate the President of the United States with the aid of a huge, walking weapon-transport vehicle called "The Tarantula."
TV-14
2:00 am
Movie
Norbit
Norbit has never had it easy. As a baby, he was abandoned on the steps of a Chinese restaurant/orphanage and raised by Mr. Wong. Things get worse when he''s forced into marriage by the mean, junk food-chugging queen, Rasputia. Just when Norbit''s hanging by his last thread, his childhood sweetheart, Kate, moves back to town.
TV-PG
4:00 am
Movie
Wild Wild West
Special government agent James West and his co-hort Artemus Gordon, team up to thwart the diabolical Dr Arliss Loveless who is plotting to assassinate the President of the United States with the aid of a huge, walking weapon-transport vehicle called "The Tarantula."
TV-14
 

Saturday, June 3

6:00 am
Everybody Loves Raymond (SAP)
Working Late Again
Debra gets Ray to set up a home office so he can spend more time with the family.
TV-PG
6:30 am
Everybody Loves Raymond (SAP)
Children's Book, The
Debra and Ray's children's book collaboration turns competitive.
TV-PG
7:00 am
Everybody Loves Raymond (SAP)
Gift, The
Frank seems depressed by the aquarium Ray bought him.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Everybody Loves Raymond (SAP)
High School
At his high-school reunion, Ray discovers Debra is cool and he is not.
TV-PG
8:00 am
Movie
Nutty Professor, The
For Professor Sherman Klump, being the big man on campus wasn''t all it''s cracked up to be. His body was disproportionate. His family was dysfunctional. And his love life was disastrous. Having tried everything--diets, exercise and weight loss experts--in an unsuccessful attempt to shed some of his 400 pounds, Sherman Klump invents a revolutionary fat gene formula. Testing it on himself, he discovers he''s no longer the man he used to be; in fact, he''s only half the man he used to be. With one swig, the gentle, painfully shy academic is transformed into the swaggering Casanova, Buddy Love--an irresistible ladies'' man who can talk his way out of any predicament. This new personality gives Sherman the confidence to pursue the chemistry department''s beautiful new professor, Carla Purty. Indeed everything, to Sherman''s utter amazement, is beyond his most perfect dreams--until he discovers that his long-lasting creation is actually an unstable substance that can wear off at any time.
TV-PG
10:00 am
Movie
Nutty Professor II: The Klumps
The shy Professor Sherman Klump is getting married. And the Klump family couldn''t be more delighted. His fiancee Denise is thrilled to become a Klump, and with her appetite she''ll fit right in; Mama thinks it''s fabulous; Papa''s less grouchy; Granny''s relieved that Sherman will finally be enjoying the pleasures of intimate relations; and Ernie has simmered down. But Buddy Love--well, Buddy that''s another matter. Professor Klump''s ferocious alter ego Buddy Love breaks loose just as Klump is getting ready to marry his colleague. Hoping to finally rid himself of the monstrous Buddy, Klump decides to utilize Denise''s cutting-edge DNA research and extract Buddy''s DNA from his system. But Buddy reacts by laying claim to the professor''s astounding invention -- a revolutionary youth serum -- which Klump then hides in his family''s home. But Buddy locates the "youth juice" and makes off with it, forcing Klump into a desperate race against time that may restore his family and win him back the woman he loves.
TV-14
12:00 pm
Movie
Norbit
Norbit has never had it easy. As a baby, he was abandoned on the steps of a Chinese restaurant/orphanage and raised by Mr. Wong. Things get worse when he''s forced into marriage by the mean, junk food-chugging queen, Rasputia. Just when Norbit''s hanging by his last thread, his childhood sweetheart, Kate, moves back to town.
TV-PG
2:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with the Giant Poking Device, The
Chandler and Janice make a difficult decision about their relationship. Monica accidentally injures Ben and tries to hide it from Ross.
TV-PG
2:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where Chandler Can't Remember Which Sister, The
Rachel meets a handsome stranger, who might help her career. Chandler gets into trouble with Joey's sisters.
TV-14
3:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with All the Jealousy, The
Ross overreacts when Rachel starts working with a handsome guy. Monica becomes enamored with a sexy busboy.
TV-PG
3:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where Monica and Richard Are Just Friends, The
When Monica and Richard accidentally meet, they decide to become friends with dire consequences.
TV-14
4:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with Phoebe's Ex-Partner, The
Phoebe's ex-singing partner wants to make Phoebe's signature song, Smelly Cat, a commercial success. Chandler dates a woman with a handicap.
TV-PG
4:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where Ross and Rachel Take a Break Part 1, The
Phoebe becomes involved with a foreign diplomat. Ross becomes involved with another woman after a fight with Rachel.
TV-PG
5:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One the Morning After Part 2, The
Ross wakes up with Chloe but an oblivious Rachel wants to resume their relationship.
TV-PG
5:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Without the Ski Trip, The
Ross and Rachel remain apart while their friends feel forced to choose between them.
TV-PG
6:00 pm
2 Broke Girls (DVS)
And the Zero Tolerance
Max and Caroline get second jobs as a pastry chef and a hostess at a trendy restaurant to help pay off their bank loan.
TV-14
6:30 pm
2 Broke Girls (DVS)
And the High Hook-Up
Max pursues a handsome new coworker at the restaurant, despite the owner's "no hook-up" rule.
TV-14
7:00 pm
2 Broke Girls (DVS)
And the Taste Test
Sophie takes Max and Caroline shopping for their bridesmaid dresses, so the girls enlist the diner gang's help to hide the most hideous ones to avoid being utterly humiliated.
TV-14
7:30 pm
2 Broke Girls (DVS)
And the Look of the Irish
Max and Caroline try to get work for Nash as a model in an effort to make some extra money acting as his managers. Meanwhile, Sophie and Oleg attempt to remain celibate for 30 days before their wedding.
TV-14
8:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Psychic Vortex, The
Leonard is aghast to find out a secret of Penny's: she believes in psychics. Meanwhile, Sheldon tries to assist Koothrappali in picking up a girl at a university party.
TV-PG
8:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Bozeman Reaction, The
A robbery of their apartment sees Leonard and Sheldon call on their friends to devise a security system.
TV-PG
9:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Einstein Approximation, The
Stuck on the solution to a physics problem, Sheldon seeks a number of alternative approaches to change his thinking and free the mental block; including working with Penny at The Cheesecake Factory.
TV-PG
9:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Large Hadron Collision, The
When Leonard is offered a trip to Switzerland on Valentine's Day to see a particle accelerator, he must choose between taking Penny or Sheldon.
TV-PG
10:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Excelsior Acquisition, The
An appearance in traffic court comes at the worst possible time for Sheldon, the same day Stan Lee is appearing at the comic book store.
TV-PG
10:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Precious Fragmentation, The
The guys go to a garage sale and find a ring from the Lord of the Rings films, and the rare find threatens their friendship.
TV-PG
11:00 pm
Claws
Sneak Peek
A special "Sneak Peek" of the new TNT Drama Series "Claws", a midnight-dark, wickedly funny meditation on female badness set in a South Florida nail salon.
TV-MA
12:05 am
Full Frontal with Samantha Bee
Episode 2048
TV-MA
12:35 am
Angie Tribeca (DVS)
If You See Something, Solve Something
A naked woman crawls out of a child's backpack and doesn't remember a thing. Why She couldn't tell you. Tribeca helps her trace her steps while Geils and Tanner track down a murderer on the run from prison.
TV-14
1:05 am
Movie (DVS)
Tyler Perry's Madea's Big Happy Family
Madea, a wise-cracking, take-no-prisoners grandma, jumps into action when her niece, Shirley, receives distressing news about her health. All Shirley wants is to gather her three adult children around her and share the news as a family. But Tammy, Kimberly and Byron are too distracted by their own problems: Tammy can't manage her unruly children or her broken marriage; Kimberly is gripped with anger and takes it out on her husband; and Byron, after spending two years in jail, is under pressure to deal drugs again. It's up to Madea, with the help of the equally rambunctious Aunt Bam, to gather the clan together and make things right the only way she knows how: with a lot of tough love, laughter, and the revelation of a long-buried family secret.
TV-14
3:05 am
Movie
Nutty Professor, The
For Professor Sherman Klump, being the big man on campus wasn''t all it''s cracked up to be. His body was disproportionate. His family was dysfunctional. And his love life was disastrous. Having tried everything--diets, exercise and weight loss experts--in an unsuccessful attempt to shed some of his 400 pounds, Sherman Klump invents a revolutionary fat gene formula. Testing it on himself, he discovers he''s no longer the man he used to be; in fact, he''s only half the man he used to be. With one swig, the gentle, painfully shy academic is transformed into the swaggering Casanova, Buddy Love--an irresistible ladies'' man who can talk his way out of any predicament. This new personality gives Sherman the confidence to pursue the chemistry department''s beautiful new professor, Carla Purty. Indeed everything, to Sherman''s utter amazement, is beyond his most perfect dreams--until he discovers that his long-lasting creation is actually an unstable substance that can wear off at any time.
TV-PG
5:00 am
Everybody Loves Raymond (SAP)
Sitter, The
The kids like the new baby sitter too much, according to Debra.
TV-PG
5:30 am
Everybody Loves Raymond (SAP)
Getting Even
Debra vows to get even after Ray gets laughs at her expense.
TV-PG
 

Sunday, June 4

6:00 am
Friends (SAP)
One with the Hypnosis Tape, The
Phoebe is distraught when her brother wants to marry a woman twice his age. While working as a waitress, Monica gets a tip from an admirer worth a small fortune. A hypnosis tape makes Chandler act like a woman.
TV-PG
6:30 am
Friends (SAP)
One with the Tiny T-Shirt, The
Ross is upset when Rachel returns his personal belongings and dates Mark. Monica dates a millionaire.
TV-PG
7:00 am
Friends (SAP)
One with the Dollhouse, The
Joey thinks he's found his true love. Rachel's boss dates Chandler, creating big trouble for Rachel. Monica inherits a dollhouse.
TV-14
7:30 am
Friends (SAP)
One with a Chick and a Duck, The
When Pete buys a restaurant, Monica must make a difficult decision. Ross makes a sacrifice for Rachel. Joey buys Chandler an unusual pet.
TV-PG
8:00 am
Friends (SAP)
One with the Screamer, The
Ross tries to convince Rachel that her date is psychotic. Joey's play gets terrible reviews.
TV-PG
8:30 am
Friends (SAP)
One with Ross's Thing, The
Ross finds a strange growth on his buttocks. Phoebe can't choose between two guys. Monica's boyfriend surprises her.
TV-PG
9:00 am
Friends (SAP)
One with the Ultimate Fighting Champion, The
Monica's boyfriend cannot stop fighting. Chandler's boss is overly friendly.
TV-PG
9:30 am
Movie (DVS)
Lego Movie, The
Emmet is an ordinary, rules-following, perfectly average LEGO minifigure who is mistakenly identified as the most extraordinary person and the key to saving the world. He is drafted into a fellowship of strangers on an epic quest to stop an evil tyrant, a journey for which Emmet is hopelessly under-prepared.
TV-PG
11:30 am
Movie
Back to the Future
"Back to the Future" follows a boy, played by Michael J. Fox, and his rough life in high school after being tormented by the principal, and a rough relationship with his father. When he befriends a scientist, played by Christopher Lloyd, he finds out that he is working on a time machine and is accidentally sent to the 1950s. He interferes with the romance of his parents, and must get them reunited to ensure his own existence back in the 1980s. "Back to the Future" has cemented itself as a 1980s classic.
TV-PG
2:00 pm
Movie
Back to the Future Part II
Sequel to the 1985 hit "Back to the Future," where Marty McFly goes into the future.
TV-PG
4:30 pm
Movie
Back to the Future Part III
Marty McFly drives into the Old West to rescue Doc, whose blossoming romance makes him reluctant to return, from the clutches of the villainous Tannen Gang.
TV-PG
7:00 pm
Movie (DVS)
Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Ricky Bobby has always dreamed of driving fast--real fast--like his father, Reese Bobby, who left the family to pursue his racing dreams. Early on, Ricky's mother, Lucy Bobby worried that her boy was also destined to end up as a professional daredevil on wheels. Ricky enters the racing arena as a "jackman" for slovenly driver Terry Cheveaux and accidentally gets his big break behind the wheel when Cheveaux makes an unscheduled pit stop during a race to gorge on a chicken sandwich. Ricky jumps into the car and so begins the ballad of Ricky Bobby. Ricky quickly becomes one of NASCAR's top stars, supported by his pit boys--the impressively large crew chief Lucius Washington, a trio of lovably moronic but loyal crew members, Herschell, Kyle and Glenn, as well as racing partner and boyhood best friend, Cal Naughton, Jr. They are all part of the Dennit Racing team, headed by wealthy Dennit Senior and his petulant son, Dennit Junior, whose jealousy of Ricky Bobby increases with every victory. In a short time, Ricky Bobby is on top of the world. He has everything a championship NASCAR driver could ever want--a gorgeous wife, Carley, a lakeside mansion, two hell-raising sons, Walker and Texas Ranger, huge sponsor endorsements and a string of victories from Daytona to Darlington. Ricky Bobby's "win at all costs" approach had made him a natural hero. But after a frightening crash sends Ricky Bobby to the hospital, he loses his nerve and falls on hard times. When his career and his wife are taken over by his friend Cal, Ricky Bobby turns his back on racing and takes his sons back to his small hometown to live with his mother. But Ricky just isn't cut for the slow life away from the race track and soon hits rock bottom. His mother reluctantly turns to the only person she can think of to help her son--his estranged father Reese Bobby. Ricky Bobby will do anything to find a way back to the top, no matter how many speed bumps life throws his way.
TV-14
9:00 pm
Movie (DVS)
Rush Hour 2
A Hong Kong trip turns into a working vacation when two detectives stumble on a counterfeiting ring.
TV-14
11:00 pm
Movie
Back to the Future
"Back to the Future" follows a boy, played by Michael J. Fox, and his rough life in high school after being tormented by the principal, and a rough relationship with his father. When he befriends a scientist, played by Christopher Lloyd, he finds out that he is working on a time machine and is accidentally sent to the 1950s. He interferes with the romance of his parents, and must get them reunited to ensure his own existence back in the 1980s. "Back to the Future" has cemented itself as a 1980s classic.
TV-PG
1:30 am
Movie
Back to the Future Part II
Sequel to the 1985 hit "Back to the Future," where Marty McFly goes into the future.
TV-PG
4:00 am
Married With Children
It's a Bundyful Life Part 1
Despite his rare good intentions, Al fails to make it to the bank in time to withdraw his Christmas Club money, and the Bundy family is destined to go presentless, again, unless Al can find a way to make some quick cash.
TV-PG
4:30 am
Married With Children
It's a Bundyful Life Part 2
When Al blows his only chance to give the family a merry Christmas, he miserably wishes he didn't exist until a not-so-angelic angel shows what life without Al but with Peggy's loving husband Norman would be like.
TV-PG
5:00 am
Married With Children
Taxing Problem
About to be audited by the IRS, Al has to come up with a quick five grand and decides to sell Peggy's hair.
TV-PG
5:30 am
Married With Children
Rock and Roll Girl
Sick and tired of being the sole breadwinner, Al challenges the family to find jobs but is in for a surprise when Kelly's talents land her the lead as the girl in the Guttercats' music video.
TV-PG
 

Monday, June 5

6:00 am
Married With Children
You Gotta Know When to Fold 'Em Part 1
When Steve dumps Marcy to become a park ranger, ever-supportive Peggy talks her into a Las Vegas vacation with Al.
TV-PG
6:30 am
Married With Children
You Gotta Know When to Fold 'Em Part 2
When Peg and Marcy lose everything in Las Vegas, Al attempts to win back their money by going into the ring with a lady wrestler.
TV-PG
7:00 am
Married With Children
What Goes Around Comes Around
Bent on revenge, Bud makes a date with the girl who once stole his clothes and ran his underwear up the flagpole.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Married With Children
Peggy Turns 300
Al's one chance at glory is to break the alley record at Jim's Bowlarama but it's threatened by high-scoring Peggy.
TV-PG
8:00 am
Friends (SAP)
One at the Beach, The
The friends stay at a beach house. Phoebe meets someone who knows details about her family. Rachel expresses her jealousy of Ross' uninhibited girlfriend.
TV-PG
8:30 am
Friends (SAP)
One with the Jellyfish, The
Ross loves dating Rachel again but hates what he did to accomplish the reconciliation. Phoebe gets to know her mother.
TV-PG
9:00 am
Friends (SAP)
One with the Cat, The
Phoebe thinks her adoptive mother's spirit inhabits a stray cat. Joey's attempt to sell his entertainment center proves hazardous.
TV-PG
9:30 am
Friends (SAP)
One with the Cuffs, The
Monica tries to prove her mother wrong. Chandler gets into an embarrassing situation while dating Rachel's boss.
TV-14
10:00 am
Friends (SAP)
One with the Ballroom Dancing, The
Joey makes an odd deal with the building superintendent to prevent him from evicting Rachel and Monica. Phoebe wants to date her sexy massage client.
TV-PG
10:30 am
Friends (SAP)
One with Joey's New Girlfriend, The
Joey thinks Chandler hates Joey's new girlfriend--but the truth could be even more upsetting. Ross and Rachel try to make each other jealous.
TV-14
11:00 am
Friends (SAP)
One with the Dirty Girl, The
Ross' beautiful new girlfriend has a disgusting secret. Chandler becomes more familiar with Joey's girlfriend.
TV-PG
11:30 am
Friends (SAP)
One Where Chandler Crosses the Line, The
Chandler is guilt-ridden after kissing Joey's girlfriend. Ross' musical talents are not as amazing as he and Phoebe think.
TV-PG
12:00 pm
Cleveland Show, The
Hot Cocoa Bang Bang
Cleveland tries to generate interest for a comic book character at ComicCon; Donna is horrified to discover that director Robert Rodriguez is screening a Blaxploitation film she appeared in years earlier.
TV-14
12:30 pm
Cleveland Show, The
BFFs
Cleveland takes his friends on a canoeing trip, where the guys encounter a group of deviant hillbillies; Donna enters Rollo in a quiz tournament to prove he's as smart as the other kids.
TV-14
1:00 pm
American Dad (DVS)
Bar Mitzvah Shuffle
When snobby rich kid Etan steals Steve's girlfriend Debbie, Steve concocts a scheme to get revenge. Aided by Roger, Toshi, and Barry, Steve plots to rob Etan's Bar Mitzvah and get back his girlfriend. But when the plan goes awry and Snot takes the blame, Steve must decide whether to tell the truth and clear Snot's name or remain silent and get back Debbie. Meanwhile, Stan and Francine pitch an idea to a cell phone company.
TV-14
1:30 pm
American Dad (DVS)
Wife Insurance
Stan reveals to Francine that, in the case she should die, he has a backup wife. Enraged with Stan, Francine takes Jim, one of Stan's CIA buddies, as her backup husband. Jealous, Stan breaks it off with his backup and tells Jim to break it off with Francine. However, Jim confesses that he is in love with Francine and attempts to kill Stan. Now Stan must stop Jim from killing him and taking Francine. Meanwhile Wheels and the Legman (Steve and Roger's detective personae) are on the case trying to find Hayley's lost iPod Shuffle.
TV-14
2:00 pm
American Dad
DeLorean Story-An
Frustrated with their lack of common interests, Steve and Stan attempt to bond while on a cross-country trip to find a door for Stan's nearly complete DeLorean. Meanwhile, Roger, Francine, and Hayley brainstorm ideas for an adventure to have while Stan and Steve are gone.
TV-14
2:30 pm
American Dad
Every Which Way But Lose
Stan volunteers to coach Steve's junior football team and cuts Steve when he sees how terrible Steve is. Furious with his father, Steve enlists Roger to coach a new football team in an attempt to beat Stan's team and make Stan cry. When Steve and Roger succeed, Stan goes home not to cry, but to kill himself. Now Steve must teach Stan how to lose without wanting to kill himself. Meanwhile, Francine and Hayley compete in a pie baking contest.
TV-14
3:00 pm
Bob's Burgers
River Runs Through Bob, A
Bob, Linda and the kids go on a camping adventure and face the perils of nature... and Bob's intestines. Braving wild river rapids, eager squirrels and parent/child separation, the Belchers prove they are worth their mettle.
TV-14
3:30 pm
Bob's Burgers
Fort Night
Tina, Gene and Louise are filled with the Halloween spirit and head out with their friends for a candy-fueled adventure. However, things take a turn for the worse when the kids build their own fort and find themselves held hostage by Louise's wacko friend, Millie.
TV-14
4:00 pm
Bob's Burgers
Seaplane!
Linda is bored by BobĂs tired attempts at Date Night and decides to sign up for flying lessons. When Bob wonĂt join her, she becomes the target of ˘Upskirt Kurt,÷ the most charming pilot in the air.
TV-14
4:30 pm
Bob's Burgers
My Big Fat Greek Bob
Bob scores a temporary gig as a cook at an "underdog" frat house and discovers that he fits right in! Hijinks ensue as Bob and the rest of the fraternity brothers find themselves in the middle of a collegiate prank war that involves the house's most famous alumnus, Dr. Yap. Meanwhile, the kids are on a mission to invade the frat house and get in on the action.
TV-14
5:00 pm
Bob's Burgers
Turkey in a Can
Determined to have a perfect Thanksgiving, Bob meticulously prepares the family turkey. But, to his horror, he finds that someone then dumps the turkey in the toilet in an act of Thanksgiving sabotage.
TV-14
5:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Guy, Robot
Brian decides to do stand up comedy, but when his set begins to tank, he starts stealing Stewie's Twitter material.
TV-14
6:00 pm
Family Guy
Peternormal Activity
After watching a bad sequel to their favorite horror film, Maniac Pope, Peter and the guys decide they could write a better scary movie themselves.
TV-14
6:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Peter, Chris, & Brian
After learning his childhood home has finally been sold after his mother's death, Peter and the gang plan on breaking in to retrieve Peter's old porn video collection.
TV-14
7:00 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Peter's Sister
Peter's estranged sister Karen shows up to the Griffin family's Thanksgiving dinner, and Joe, Cleveland and Quagmire realize she is the famous wrestler, Heavy Flo.
TV-14
7:30 pm
Family Guy
Hot Pocket-Dial
Peter takes his family to a fancy restaurant and falls in love with his toothpick. When Peter accidentally swallows it, he goes back to the restaurant to get another one.
TV-14
8:00 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Brokeback Swanson
Peter, Cleveland and Quagmire are super excited about going to the Seriously Wicked Bull Run, but they're worried that Joe would be dead weight.
TV-14
8:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Shot in the Dark, A
Peter gets arrested and charged with a hate crime after he shoots an intruder climbing into Cleveland's house.
TV-14
9:00 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Candy Quahog Marshmallow!
As the guys go through Quagmire's father's old clothes, Peter finds a bunch of VHS tapes of a Korean soap opera called Winter Summer. It turns out Quagmire starred in the show years earlier while he was stationed in Busan with the Navy.
TV-14
9:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Peanut Butter Kid, The
Stressed about their poor finances, Lois and Peter try to find a way to save money for Stewie's college fund. Peter buys a metal detector to search for expensive metals on the beach.
TV-14
10:00 pm
American Dad (DVS)
Camp Campawanda
Steve is upset when Snot threatens their summer camp fun by becoming a counselor-in-training. Hayley and Jeff are suspicious of Roger when he organizes a Burning Man reenactment in the yard for their anniversary.
TV-14
10:30 pm
Angie Tribeca (DVS)
Germs of Endearment
When an outbreak of a lethal virus threatens to liquefy everyone in Los Angeles and perhaps the world, the team realizes this might be the season's serial killer's magnum opus.
TV-14
11:00 pm
Conan (CC)
Episode 71041
TV-14
12:00 am
Angie Tribeca (DVS)
Germs of Endearment
When an outbreak of a lethal virus threatens to liquefy everyone in Los Angeles and perhaps the world, the team realizes this might be the season's serial killer's magnum opus.
TV-14
12:30 am
Conan (CC)
Episode 71041
TV-14
1:30 am
Seinfeld
Gum, The
Kramer complicates Jerry's quest to locate a special brand of Chinese gum.
TV-PG
2:00 am
2 Broke Girls (DVS)
And the Minor Problem
Max and Caroline's attempt to break Nash into the modeling business is threatened when his mother arrives from Ireland to retrieve her son.
TV-14
2:30 am
2 Broke Girls (DVS)
And the Grate Expectations
Max and Caroline help launch the opening of The High's new location at JFK airport. Meanwhile, Sophie learns that Oleg may have an ulterior motive for wanting to marry her.
TV-14
3:00 am
Movie
Limitless
Aspiring author Eddie Morra is suffering from chronic writer''s block, but his life changes instantly when an old friend introduces him to NZT, a revolutionary new pharmaceutical that allows him to tap his full potential. With every synapse crackling, Eddie can recall everything he has ever read, seen or heard, learn any language in a day, comprehend complex equations and beguile anyone he meets-as long as he keeps taking the untested drug. Soon Eddie takes Wall Street by storm, parlaying a small stake into millions. His accomplishments catch the eye of mega-mogul Carl Van Loon, who invites him to help broker the largest merger in corporate history. But they also bring Eddie to the attention of people willing to do anything to get their hands on his stash of NZT. With his life in jeopardy and the drug''s brutal side effects taking their toll, Eddie dodges mysterious stalkers, a vicious gangster and an intense police investigation as he attempts to hang on to his dwindling supply long enough to outwit his enemies.
TV-14
5:00 am
Married With Children
Peggy Made a Little Lamb
Peggy is shocked to discover that she never graduated from high school and needing one additional course to get her diploma, joins Kelly's home economics class.
TV-PG
5:30 am
Married With Children
Raingirl
Al's groveling at the shoe store earns him a five-dollar-a-week-raise but Kelly bursts his bubble when she announces she'll be bringing home a thousand bucks a week as a cable TV weather girl.
TV-PG
 

Tuesday, June 6

6:00 am
Married With Children
Agony of Defeet, The
While an ecstatic Al prepares to judge a beauty contest, Marcy awakens on the Bundy couch next to a lipstick-smeared Bud and fears the worst.
TV-PG
6:30 am
Married With Children
Yard Sale
When Al discovers Peggy's passion for yard sales has gotten out of hand, he decides that the Bundys should hold one of their own.
TV-PG
7:00 am
Married With Children
We'll Follow the Sun
Al's plans for a family road trip come to a screeching halt when the Bundys get caught in Labor Day traffic.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Married With Children
Al ... with Kelly
After faking colds to get out of visiting Peggy's mother, Al and Kelly rejoice at their week of freedom, but when Kelly really gets sick, Al is forced to play nursemaid.
TV-PG
8:00 am
Married With Children
Sue Casa, His Casa
No sooner than Al cancels his auto insurance, the kids get into an accident and Al decides to sue, so the Bundys put on their neck braces and tell it to the judge.
TV-PG
8:30 am
Married With Children
Unnatural, The
Al's pride is on the line when his softball team threatens to bench him right before the league championship.
TV-PG
9:00 am
King of Queens, The
Secret Garden
Carrie's relationship with her gynecologist (Judge Reinhold) is in jeopardy when Doug's cousin charges the doctor more than he quoted for landscaping work.
TV-14
9:30 am
King of Queens, The
Affidavit Justice
When the partners of Carrie's law firm notice Doug's softball skills, they ask him to pretend he is a lawyer and play on the company team; Arthur believes his great-grandfather was a slave owner.
TV-PG
10:00 am
King of Queens, The
Dougie Houser
Carrie reminds Doug of a past incident when he wants to buy a chainsaw from an infomercial.
TV-PG
10:30 am
King of Queens, The
Eggsit Strategy
After hearing of possible layoffs at her law firm, Carrie begins to worry about her own job security; Doug loses Deacon's lucky Koosh ball.
TV-PG
11:00 am
Cleveland Show, The
Hurricane, The
Cleveland and his family become trapped in the house without food when a hurricane ravages Stoolbend; Cleveland Jr. announces that he does not believe in God.
TV-14
11:30 am
Cleveland Show, The
Nightmare on Grace Street, A
On Halloween...Donna forces Cleveland and Rallo to spend a night in a spooky abandoned house; Roberta attempts to choose between a boy she thinks is a vampire and a boy she thinks is a werewolf.
TV-14
12:00 pm
American Dad
Weiner of Our Discontent
For over seventy years Roger has been acting like he's the most important person on the planet, and Stan is sick of it! Stan considers Roger to be a worthless, lazy, lying, cheating, alcoholic slob.
TV-14
12:30 pm
American Dad
Daddy Queerest
Stan is once again humiliated by the way Francine behaves in social situations, so he pushes her in the pool at a party.
TV-14
1:00 pm
American Dad
Stan's Night Out
Stan feels left out when he discovers that a few of the guys from work have been hitting the town while he sits at home with Francine eating dinner on a TV tray and watching gardening shows.
TV-14
1:30 pm
American Dad
In Country...Club
When Steve is selected to sing the national anthem at the Langley Falls Veterans' Day celebration, he gets some heat from Stan who doesn't think he's ready for such an undertaking. Unimpressed with Steve's vocal talents, Stan decides Steve needs to experience real war in order to sing about our country's military prowess. But things quickly go south when Roger gets involved and Steve goes bananas.
TV-14
2:00 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Road to the North Pole Part 1 & 2
Brian and Stewie take their adventures to the North Pole to seek out Santa Claus.
TV-14
3:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where They're Going to Party!, The
The guys try to be spontaneous and wild. After Monica gives a bad restaurant review, she receives a new career opportunity. Rachel's boss offers her a promotion.
TV-PG
3:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with Phoebe's Uterus, The
Phoebe's half-brother makes an astounding announcement and a thought-provoking request. Joey finds himself in a class struggle.
TV-14
4:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with the Embryos, The
Phoebe finds out whether she is pregnant or not. A simple challenge escalates into a full-blown contest between the guys and the women.
TV-PG
4:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with Rachel's Crush, The
Rachel schemes to get a handsome client to ask her on a date. Chandler's jealousy causes problems with his girlfriend.
TV-PG
5:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with Joey's Dirty Day, The
Charlton Heston finds Joey in a compromising position during a movie shoot. Rachel regrets asking Ross for a favor.
TV-14
5:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with All the Rugby, The
Chandler's annoying former girlfriend reappears. Ross plays rugby to impress Emily with painful results.
TV-PG
6:00 pm
Seinfeld
Rye, The
George's and Susan's parents have dinner together for the first time.
TV-PG
6:30 pm
Seinfeld
Caddy, The
Kramer befriends a caddy (Armin Shimerman) who helps him improve his golf game.
TV-PG
7:00 pm
Seinfeld
Seven, The
Jerry's girlfriend (Lisa Deanne) wears the same dress; Elaine loses a bike to Kramer.
TV-PG
7:30 pm
Seinfeld
Cadillac Part 1, The
Jerry surprises his parents (Barney Martin, Liz Sheridan) with a new Cadillac.
TV-PG
8:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Pants Alternative, The
Sheldon's fear of speaking in front of large groups threatens his ability to accept an award, so the gang tries to help him get ready for the big night.
TV-PG
8:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Wheaton Recurrence, The
Sheldon gets to square off at the bowling alley against nemesis Wil Wheaton. Meanwhile, Leonard's miffed when Penny doesn't respond the way he hoped after saying I love you.
TV-PG
9:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Spaghetti Catalysis, The
Subsequent to Leonard and Penny's break-up, Sheldon tries to hide from Leonard and the gang that he had a friendly spaghetti dinner at Penny's.
TV-14
9:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Plimpton Stimulation, The
Sheldon hosts a visiting female physicist but her intelligence seems matched by her libido.
TV-14
10:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Staircase Implementation, The
A squabble over the thermostat setting leads to Leonard going over to Penny's and recounting for her the story of how he met and moved in with Sheldon.
TV-PG
10:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Lunar Excitation, The
Howard and Raj try to find the perfect match for Sheldon by setting him up on an Internet dating site. Seeing her moronic new boyfriend interact with the gang makes it abundantly clear to Penny that she can't go back to dating stereotypical dumb jocks after dating Leonard.
TV-14
11:00 pm
Conan (CC)
Episode 71042
TV-14
12:00 am
Seinfeld
Cadillac Part 2, The
Jerry surprises his parents (Barney Martin, Liz Sheridan) with a new Cadillac.
TV-PG
12:30 am
Conan (CC)
Episode 71042
TV-14
1:30 am
Seinfeld
Shower Head, The
Jerry jokes about his uncle on television; Elaine fails a drug test; guest Jay Leno.
TV-PG
2:00 am
2 Broke Girls (DVS)
And the Disappointing Unit
Season 4 ends with Max and Caroline tasked with retrieving Sophie's wedding dress from airport customs and safely transporting it to the church in time for the nuptials.
TV-14
2:30 am
2 Broke Girls (DVS)
And the Wrecking Ball
Season 5 begins with Max and Caroline teaming up with the diner staff in a frantic attempt to keep their businesses open when the city targets Han's diner and their cupcake window for destruction.
TV-14
3:00 am
Movie
Transcendence
An artificial intelligence researcher evolves into an omnipresent machine with an insatiable desire for world power.
TV-PG
5:30 am
Married With Children
Dance Show, The
When an attention-starved Peg meets a charming married man, Andy, Al's in for a surprise when Andy's jealous husband shows up on Al's doorstep.
TV-PG
 

Wednesday, June 7

6:00 am
Married With Children
Kelly Bounces Back
When Al insists that Kelly get a job, she enrolls in modeling school, at Al's expense, and sets her sights on becoming a car showroom model.
TV-PG
6:30 am
Married With Children
Married ... with Aliens
When Al is visited by mysterious green creatures who creep into his bedroom and take his dirty socks, he's subjected to ridicule by his disbelieving family, but still determined to get proof of his close encounter.
TV-PG
7:00 am
Married With Children
Wabbit Season
A stressed-out Al takes up gardening for relaxation but ends up battling a pesky rabbit.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Married With Children
Do Ya Think I'm Sexy?
Peggy becomes worried when the neighborhood women suddenly find Al irresistible.
TV-PG
8:00 am
Married With Children
One Down, Two to Go
Peggy goes off the deep end when Kelly decides to leave the nest and get an apartment of her own.
TV-PG
8:30 am
Married With Children
And Baby Makes Money
Al discovers new-found passion when he learns that he and Peggy stand to inherit a fortune by producing another Bundy baby.
TV-PG
9:00 am
King of Queens, The
American Idle
Doug gets annoyed when Carrie loses her job and refuses to look for a new one.
TV-PG
9:30 am
King of Queens, The
Santa Claustrophobia
Carrie drives Doug crazy when she takes a part-time job at IPS during the holiday season; Arthur tries to bring everyone together for a Christmas portrait.
TV-PG
10:00 am
King of Queens, The
Thanks Man
Carrie forces a stranded motorist to wait out in the cold on Thanksgiving Day.
TV-PG
10:30 am
King of Queens, The
Frigid Heirs
After Arthur wins $2,500 playing bingo, a dispute erupts over how the money should be spent.
TV-PG
11:00 am
Cleveland Show, The
Skip Day
Cleveland is stunned to discover that Junior is stronger than he is; Lester vows revenge after Kendra is injured in a hit-and-run accident.unaware that Rallo is to blame.
TV-14
11:30 am
Cleveland Show, The
Yemen Party
After dressing as a Muslim woman to infiltrate Donna's women's support group, Cleveland gets a taste of his own medicine when he travels to Yemen to perform housework for a sheik; Rallo uses Junior as an avatar to confront a playground bully.
TV-14
12:00 pm
American Dad
Moon Over Isla Island
Stan convinces the dictator of Isla Island to sign a treaty to get a promotion at work. Meanwhile, Steve and Snot get competitive to see who can get farther with the other's mom.
TV-14
12:30 pm
American Dad
Home Adrone
When Steve gets the chance to sing the Star-Spangled Banner at a Veterans' Day event, Stan takes it upon himself to be Steve's vocal coach. Dissatisfied with Steve's progress, Stan signs Steve up for a Vietnam reenactment in the hopes that a little battle experience will help Steve to truly understand the national anthem. But the pressure of mock war, along with Stan's coaching, gets to Steve causing him to become a relentless reenacting machine. Meanwhile, Roger prepares to watch a pay-per-view Barbra Streisand concert.
TV-14
1:00 pm
American Dad (DVS)
Brains, Brains, and Automobiles
When Hayley and Steve leave for their respective summers of fun, Francine looks forward to her newfound alone time with Stan.
TV-14
1:30 pm
American Dad (DVS)
Man in the Moonbounce
Stan vows to live out all the teenage pranks he missed with Steve and his friends. But when they are caught, he winds up going to prison.
TV-14
2:00 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
And I'm Joyce Kinney
Lois is horrified when television news reporter Joyce Kinney exposes Lois as a former pornographic film star.
TV-14
2:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Friends of Peter G.
After Peter is arrested for a public intoxication, a judge sentences him to attend AA meetings-where Peter and Brian convince their AA brethren that the best place to get drunk is at the meeting.
TV-14
3:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with the Fake Party, The
Trying to become better acquainted with her sexy client, Rachel inadvertently thwarts Ross' plans for a romantic evening with his girlfriend.
TV-PG
3:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with the Free Porn, The
Monica helps Ross tell his girlfriend that he loves her. Phoebe gets some surprising news about her pregnancy.
TV-14
4:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with Rachel's New Dress, The
Ross and his ex-wife become jealous when their lovers go to England together. Rachel's plans to seduce her boyfriend go awry.
TV-PG
4:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with All the Haste, The
Drastic changes occur in Ross' relationship with Emily. Monica and Rachel will do anything to get their old apartment back from the guys.
TV-PG
5:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with Ross's Wedding Part 1, The
Rachel stays home while the others go to England for Ross' wedding.
TV-PG
5:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with Ross's Wedding Part 2, The
Rachel frantically tries to get to London before Ross marries Emily. Ross' father clashes with Emily's.
TV-PG
6:00 pm
Seinfeld
Doll, The
One of Susan's dolls looks like George's mother; Kramer turns pool shark; guest Kathy Griffin.
TV-PG
6:30 pm
Seinfeld
Friar's Club, The
Jerry tries to join the Friars Club; a new co-worker causes more work for Elaine.
TV-PG
7:00 pm
Seinfeld
Wig Master, The
Jerry reconsiders buying a costly jacket by using Elaine's discount at the shop.
TV-PG
7:30 pm
Seinfeld
Calzone, The
George becomes his boss's pet when he shares a delicious calzone with him.
TV-PG
8:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Robotic Manipulation, The
Howard uses a robotic arm for his own pleasure, and Sheldon goes on a date with Amy Farrah Fowler, his first date ever, and Penny finds herself accompanying them.
TV-14
8:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Cruciferous Vegetable Amplification, The
Sheldon calculates that he'll be dead before technology exists to download his consciousness into a robot, so he goes on a binge of healthy living and ultra-safety.
TV-PG
9:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Zazzy Substitution, The
When Sheldon breaks up with Amy Farrah Fowler, the guys worry when he starts replacing her with cats.
TV-PG
9:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Hot Troll Deviation, The
Wolowitz is embarrassed when a secret of his is revealed, and Sheldon and Raj battle at work.
TV-14
10:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Desperation Emanation, The
Sheldon meets Amy Farrah Fowler's mother and comes to the realization he no longer wants to see Amy; and Leonard realizes everyone is in a relationship except for him.
TV-14
10:30 pm
Full Frontal with Samantha Bee
Episode 2049
TV-MA
11:00 pm
Conan (CC)
Episode 71043
TV-14
12:00 am
Seinfeld
Wait Out, The
Jerry and Elaine anticipate dating soon-to-be-single friends (Cary Elwes, Debra Messing).
TV-PG
12:30 am
Conan (CC)
Episode 71043
TV-14
1:30 am
Angie Tribeca
Ferret Royale
Illegal pet ferrets are leaking into California and the lieutenant could not be sicker about it. Tribeca and Geils follow a trail that naturally leads them to a high stakes poker game. The only problem The Fish & Game Division is claiming jurisdiction.
TV-14
2:00 am
Angie Tribeca
Tribeca's Day Off
Tribeca's been hoarding vacation days and the lieutenant is sick about it. Ordered to take a day off, Tribeca dabbles in civilian life while Tanner and Geils solve a murder on a golf course. What's not a problem Bill Murray agreed to be in this episode.
TV-14
2:30 am
Angie Tribeca
Murder in the First Class
Another passenger arrives dead at LAX and the lieutenant has finally been diagnosed with bacterial meningitis. The gang goes undercover aboard an airplane to catch the killer in the act. The only problem The lieutenant doesn't believe in antibiotics.
TV-14
3:00 am
Angie Tribeca
Inside Man
A band of British gangsters has robbed another bank and the lieutenant's meningitis is worsening. He orders Tribeca and Geils to infiltrate the gang, but somehow they end up stuck in prison. The only problem Tribeca and Geils are stuck in prison.
TV-14
3:30 am
Angie Tribeca
One with the Bomb, The
Geils has been kidnapped and the lieutenant is inches from death though you wouldn't know it from watching the episode. Tribeca will stop at nothing to save Geils before time runs out. The only problem The 256 character limit on these descriptions makes i
TV-14
4:00 am
Married With Children
Married ... with Who
When Marcy wakes up to discover a man in her bed and a wedding ring on her finger, she gives Peggy and Al the cash to throw her a lavish wedding but giving Marcy the party of her dreams is the last thing on their minds.
TV-PG
4:30 am
Married With Children
Godfather
Al entertains notions of greatness when he discovers that Kelly's new boyfriend is an influential city politician.
TV-PG
5:00 am
Married With Children
Look Who's Barking
Buck the Dog, fed up with being neglected by the Bundys, decides to leave home and venture out into the world, where he meets a canine femme fatale.
TV-PG
5:30 am
Married With Children
Man's Castle, A
When Peg enrolls in an interior design course, she chooses the Bundy home as her first project but Al's in an uproar when she sets her sights on his sacred domain, the bathroom.
TV-PG
 

Thursday, June 8

6:00 am
Married With Children
All-Night Security Dude
When the shoe store temporarily gives Al the boot, he takes a job as Polk High's night security guard but when his prized football trophy is stolen, he comes face to face with his high school rival, Spare Tire Dixon, who wants to even the score.
TV-PG
6:30 am
Married With Children
Oldies but Young 'Uns
Al struggles to remember a favorite song from his past and enlists the help of an oldies expert, his pal Charlie Verducci; meanwhile, Charlie's son, Vinnie, falls for Kelly but, under Al's watchful eye, is unable to do anything about it.
TV-PG
7:00 am
Married With Children
Weenie Tot Lovers & Other Strangers
Peg and Al must decide whether to give their last hundred dollars to Bud, who's been selected a top teen and invited to go to the White House and meet the President, or to Kelly, who has a chance to become Miss Weenie Tot and win a year's supply of Al's favorite treat.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Married With Children
Kids! Wadaya Gonna Do?
Needing cold cash for some hot prospects, Bud and Kelly are forced to find creative ways to earn money; meanwhile, Peg hoping for a hot night on the town, settles for an evening of videos with Al and the D'Arcys instead.
TV-PG
8:00 am
Married With Children
You Better Shop Around Part 1
In the first of a two-part episode, after Al buys a shoddy air conditioner and causes a neighborhood blackout, the Bundys seek refuge from the heat and their infuriated neighbors by taking up residence in their local supermarket.
TV-PG
8:30 am
Married With Children
Top of the Heap
Al loses his television set on a neighborhood boxing bet; even so, he, along with the boxer's dad, advise defeated fighter Vinnie to marry rich and forget about a career.
TV-PG
9:00 am
King of Queens, The
Switch Sitters
Deacon and Kelly decide to take Arthur out to dinner so Doug and Carrie can be alone, but they ignore a warning about Arthur's reaction to spicy food.
TV-PG
9:30 am
King of Queens, The
Cheap Saks
Carrie discovers Doug's annoying ex-girlfriend (Janeane Garofalo) has an employee discount at Saks Fifth Avenue.
TV-PG
10:00 am
King of Queens, The
Damned Yankee
Carrie catches Doug fantasizing about other women while he is under sedation at the hospital.
TV-PG
10:30 am
King of Queens, The
Multiple Plots
Carrie, still unemployed, helps Holly with dog walking; Arthur sells his burial plot to Spence's mother, Veronica (Anne Meara).
TV-PG
11:00 am
Cleveland Show, The
Sex and the Biddy
Rallo discovers that Murray's girlfriend is trying to scam Murray out of his savings; Cleveland wears a man-girdle to make it seem as if he's lost weight.
TV-14
11:30 am
Cleveland Show, The
Die Semi-Hard
As Christmas approaches, Cleveland tells the family his version of the original "Die Hard."
TV-14
12:00 pm
American Dad
Shallow Vows
Upset that Francine has let herself go, Stan takes drastic measures when she asks him to renew their wedding vows.
TV-14
12:30 pm
American Dad
My Morning Straitjacket
After attending a concert with Hayley, Stan becomes obsessed with her music.
TV-14
1:00 pm
American Dad
G-String Circus
When Hayley rejects Stan's advice, he decides to start a dry-cleaning business run by a bunch of strippers. But when the business fails miserably, he is forced to become a male stripper to make some extra money.
TV-14
1:30 pm
American Dad
Rapture's Delight
The Rapture happens on Christmas Eve, and Stan is left behind.
TV-14
2:00 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
German Guy
Herbert warns Chris that the kind old German puppeteer Chris has befriended is a Nazi war criminal.
TV-14
2:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Hand That Rocks the Wheelchair
When Bonnie leaves town, Meg cares for Joe and ends up with a crush on him; Stewie accidentally creates an identical twin who is pure evil.
TV-14
3:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One-Hundredth, The
While Phoebe delivers triplets, Joey experiences his own pain. Monica plans a date with a male nurse to spite Chandler.
TV-PG
3:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where Phoebe Hates PBS, The
Joey challenges Phoebe to perform a completely selfless act. Monica gets upset when Chandler gloats about sex. Ross might finally reconcile with Emily but he must make a tough decision.
TV-PG
4:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with the Kips, The
Ross tells Rachel that he cannot be around her once Emily comes to New York. Chandler and Monica try to have a romantic weekend.
TV-14
4:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with the Yeti, The
Will Ross obey Emily and move away from his friends Monica and Rachel meet a monster.
TV-PG
5:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where Ross Moves In, The
Joey and Chandler regret letting Ross move in with them. Rachel schemes to get her new neighbor to ask her on a date.
TV-PG
5:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with Ross' Sandwich, The
Joey becomes exasperated from hiding Chandler and Monica's secret. Ross gets in trouble when he expresses his rage.
TV-14
6:00 pm
Seinfeld
Bottle Deposit Part 1, The
Jerry's mechanic steals his car; Kramer plans to return used bottles to Michigan.
TV-PG
6:30 pm
Seinfeld
Bottle Deposit Part 2, The
Jerry's mechanic steals his car; Kramer plans to return used bottles to Michigan.
TV-PG
7:00 pm
Seinfeld
Invitations, The
George searches for a way to stop his impending nuptials; guests Janeane Garofalo, Stephen Root, George Steinbrenner.
TV-PG
7:30 pm
Seinfeld
Foundation, The
George is ready to move on, but Susan's parents want to keep her memory alive.
TV-PG
8:00 pm
Seinfeld
Soul Mate, The
George suspects the foundation attorney believes he murdered Susan.
TV-PG
8:30 pm
Seinfeld
Bizzaro Jerry, The
Elaine's soon-to-be former beau has two friends who resemble George and Kramer.
TV-PG
9:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Irish Pub Formulation, The
When Raj's sister has a one-day layover, he forbids the others from hooking up with her unaware she and Leonard already did long ago.
TV-PG
9:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Apology Insufficiency, The
The rest of the gang is interviewed by the FBI for Wolowitz's security clearance with Sheldon accidentally letting slip some damaging information.
TV-PG
10:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
21-Second Excitation, The
The guys camp out in line to see a print of Raiders of the Lost Ark with :21 extra seconds and are outraged to see Wil Wheaton and his friends being allowed to skip the line. Penny and Bernadette invite Amy to their girls night.
TV-14
10:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Boyfriend Complexity, The
Penny asks Leonard to lie to her visiting father, while Howard, Raj and Bernadette spend all night looking through a telescope.
TV-14
11:00 pm
Conan (CC)
Episode 71044
TV-14
12:00 am
Seinfeld
Little Kicks, The
Kramer's friend forces Jerry to perform an illegal activity.
TV-PG
12:30 am
Conan (CC)
Episode 71044
TV-14
1:30 am
Seinfeld
Package, The
Kramer tries to scam the U.S. Postal Service to get a refund for Jerry's stereo.
TV-PG
2:00 am
2 Broke Girls (DVS)
And the Gym and Juice
The shower at Max and Caroline's apartment breaks, so they get part-time jobs at a fancy gym's juice bar and enjoy free use of the locker room.
TV-14
2:30 am
2 Broke Girls (DVS)
And the Maybe Baby
The girls run into Caroline's newly engaged ex, Candy Andy, and Caroline offers to make his wedding cake. Later, when she sees Andy's seemingly perfect relationship and how he supports his fiancee's career, she wonders if she should have stayed with him.
TV-14
3:00 am
Movie
Walk to Remember, A
Each spring in the little port town of Beaufort, North Carolina, when the wind smells of pine and salt and the sea, Landon Carter remembers his senior year at Beaufort High and Jamie Sullivan, the girl who changed his life... Serious and conservative, Jamie is the daughter of the town's Baptist minister and not afraid of letting people know that her faith is the most important part of her life, even if it cost her some friends. After a harmless prank goes terribly wrong, Landon is forced to tutor a young student at a poor school and participate in the Drama Club's spring play - two activities the principal hopes will teach him some humility. They also happen to throw him into close contact with Jamie. Clearly in over his head, Landon is forced to ask her for help. Soon, against his own expectations, Landon finds himself falling in love with this outwardly plain girl who possesses a passion for life he never imagined possible.
TV-PG
5:00 am
Married With Children
You Better Shop Around Part 2
When the Bundys are evicted from the supermarket where they've taken up temporary residence, Al inadvertently becomes their one millionth customer; but Marcy claims otherwise.
TV-PG
5:30 am
Married With Children
Route 666 Part 1
When Al takes the family on a road trip to a shoe convention in California, the Bundys discover a golden opportunity when their car breaks down in the middle of a ghost town.
TV-PG
 

Friday, June 9

6:00 am
Married With Children
Route 666 Part 2
The California Coast will have to wait when, stranded in a ghost town, the Bundys and the D'Arcys catch gold fever and become wary mining partners.
TV-PG
6:30 am
Married With Children
Buck the Stud
Buck the Dog has romantic designs on every bitch in the neighborhood, but dashes Peg & Al's hopes of becoming wealthy breeders when he refuses to court a pampered pedigree.
TV-PG
7:00 am
Married With Children
She's Having My Baby Part 1
Marcy excitedly announces she's pregnant but Al's glee at Jefferson's misfortune turns to horror when Peg breaks the news that she too has a little Bundy in the oven.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Married With Children
She's Having My Baby Part 2
While mothers-to-be Peg and Marcy keep everyone hopping with their demands, Al, unable to face another 20 years of parenting, decides to make a run for it.
TV-PG
8:00 am
Married With Children
If Al Had a Hammer
Al, seeking refuge from all forms of women, pregnant or otherwise, decides to build a clubhouse where he can get away from it all, but it's soon overrun by other desperate fathers-to-be.
TV-PG
8:30 am
Married With Children
Cheese, Cues and Blood
Lusting for a thousand dollar dress to wear to the Miss Cheese competition, Kelly decides to earn the money the old-fashioned way by hustling pool.
TV-PG
9:00 am
King of Queens, The
Trash Talker
Doug's grade school nemesis (Jon Favreau) is Deacon's new friend and may become Carrie's new boss.
TV-PG
9:30 am
King of Queens, The
Precedent Nixin'
Carrie's plan to stay at a hotel, while visiting her in-laws in Florida, backfires when their hotel is overrun by spring breakers.
TV-PG
10:00 am
King of Queens, The
Foe: Pa
When Arthur embarrasses Carrie at a job interview, Doug must heal the breach between father and daughter.
TV-PG
10:30 am
King of Queens, The
Tank Heaven
Doug deliberately offends Carrie's co-workers by showing them his chest hair.
TV-PG
11:00 am
Cleveland Show, The
Y Tu Junior Tambien
Junior marries a beautiful Mexican woman to prevent her deportation from the United States.
TV-14
11:30 am
Cleveland Show, The
There Goes El Neighborhood
Cleveland and Choni attempt to learn about each other's culture; Cleveland Jr. sets Cecilia up on a date with Tyler.
TV-14
12:00 pm
American Dad
Don't Look a Smith Horse in the Mouth
When Francine demands that Stan get rid of his gas-guzzling SUV because it's draining the family of money, he hatches a plan with Roger at the local horse track to avoid giving up his ride. Meanwhile, it's up to Steve and his friends to help out an old friend.
TV-14
12:30 pm
American Dad
Jones for a Smith, A
Stan puts down liberal social programs because he thinks they're a waste of money and gives Francine a hard time for lending a helping hand at the local homeless shelter. When Stan develops a nasty addiction and needs help, he suddenly has a change of heart.
TV-14
1:00 pm
American Dad
May the Best Stan Win
As Valentine's Day approaches, a cyborg version of Stan attempts to steal Francine away from Stan; Roger directs a shot-for-shot remake of the movie "The Goonies."
TV-14
1:30 pm
American Dad
Return of the Bling
Stan is appalled to discover that Roger - a "Miracle On Ice" hockey team member - used steroids; Hayley finds herself falling for Reginald.
TV-14
2:00 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Trading Places
When Peter and Lois switch places with Chris and Brian, Angela fires Peter and replaces him with the more productive Brian.
TV-14
2:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Tiegs For Two
Peter clashes with the owner of a dry cleaning business after he loses one of his white shirts; Brian infuriates Quagmire when he beings dating his old girlfriend, Cheryl Tiegs.
TV-14
3:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with Chandler's Work Laugh, The
Chandler's behavior toward his boss annoys Monica. Ross' latest romance astounds everyone.
TV-PG
3:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with Joey's Bag, The
Phoebe meets another long-lost relative. Joey wears a shoulder bag.
TV-PG
4:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where Everybody Finds Out, The
Chandler and Monica's relationship becomes less of a secret. Ross must prove to his boss that he's sane in order to return to work.
TV-14
4:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with the Girl Who Hits Joey, The
Chandler thinks Monica wants more from their relationship. Ross fails to impress his new neighbors.
TV-PG
5:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with the Cop, The
Joey wonders if he is in love with Monica. Phoebe impersonates a police officer.
TV-PG
5:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with Rachel's Inadvertent Kiss, The
Rachel interviews for a great job but she may get it for the wrong reason. Monica competes to have a better relationship than Phoebe's.
TV-14
6:00 pm
Seinfeld
Fatigues, The
Jerry's new girlfriend has a mentor; Elaine must fire a troubled employee.
TV-PG
6:30 pm
Seinfeld
Checks, The
Jerry receives bundles of small residual checks from his Japanese TV appearance.
TV-PG
7:00 pm
Seinfeld
Chicken Roaster, The
A celebrity opens a chicken restaurant in Jerry's neighborhood.
TV-PG
7:30 pm
Seinfeld
Abstinence, The
George benefits when his new girlfriend's illness requires their abstinence.
TV-PG
8:00 pm
Movie (DVS)
Limitless
Aspiring author Eddie Morra is suffering from chronic writer''s block, but his life changes instantly when an old friend introduces him to NZT, a revolutionary new pharmaceutical that allows him to tap his full potential. With every synapse crackling, Eddie can recall everything he has ever read, seen or heard, learn any language in a day, comprehend complex equations and beguile anyone he meets-as long as he keeps taking the untested drug. Soon Eddie takes Wall Street by storm, parlaying a small stake into millions. His accomplishments catch the eye of mega-mogul Carl Van Loon, who invites him to help broker the largest merger in corporate history. But they also bring Eddie to the attention of people willing to do anything to get their hands on his stash of NZT. With his life in jeopardy and the drug''s brutal side effects taking their toll, Eddie dodges mysterious stalkers, a vicious gangster and an intense police investigation as he attempts to hang on to his dwindling supply long enough to outwit his enemies.
TV-14
10:00 pm
Movie (DVS)
Knight and Day
At breakneck speed, secret agent Roy Miller sends the ordinary-seeming June Havens' life on a screeching detour and vice versa. June boarded a plane in Wichita, Kansas and began chatting up her charming, mysterious seatmate - Roy. Soon after, everything changed. Suddenly, the plane was hurtling into a cornfield without any living crew or passengers. Without even time to catch her breath, June finds herself being pursued around the globe - dodging bullets in Boston, leaping rooftops in Austria, and running from bulls in Seville - all in the company of a potentially duplicitous, possibly unstable yet decidedly alluring secret agent at the center of a life-or-death adventure that will push these two people from opposite worlds to do the one thing they've long avoided: trust. Now, nothing will be the same again for them, as this exceptional secret operative finds himself undone by ordinary love and this everyday woman finds herself capable of the most extraordinary things she could imagine.
TV-14
12:00 am
Movie
S.W.A.T.
Jim Street is a former S.W.A.T. team member, who along with his partner Brian Gamble, is thrown off the team in the aftermath of a controversial decision they made during a robbery/hostage standoff. Gamble quits the force in disgust, but for Street, being a policeman is his life and he agrees to a demotion, hoping to someday have the chance to redeem himself and once again wear the privileged S.W.A.T. uniform. He gets that chance when team commander Dan "Hondo" Harrelson is assigned to recruit and train five top-notch officers for a new Special Weapons and Tactics unit. After weeks of rigorous physical training, the new team is immediately thrown into action when a notorious drug lord, offers a $100 million bounty to anyone who can free him from police custody. As they escort the kingpin out of Los Angeles into the hands of the Feds, the S.W.A.T. team is pursued by a ruthless and well-armed band of mercenaries.
TV-14
2:30 am
Movie (DVS)
Knight and Day
At breakneck speed, secret agent Roy Miller sends the ordinary-seeming June Havens' life on a screeching detour and vice versa. June boarded a plane in Wichita, Kansas and began chatting up her charming, mysterious seatmate - Roy. Soon after, everything changed. Suddenly, the plane was hurtling into a cornfield without any living crew or passengers. Without even time to catch her breath, June finds herself being pursued around the globe - dodging bullets in Boston, leaping rooftops in Austria, and running from bulls in Seville - all in the company of a potentially duplicitous, possibly unstable yet decidedly alluring secret agent at the center of a life-or-death adventure that will push these two people from opposite worlds to do the one thing they've long avoided: trust. Now, nothing will be the same again for them, as this exceptional secret operative finds himself undone by ordinary love and this everyday woman finds herself capable of the most extraordinary things she could imagine.
TV-14
4:30 am
Married With Children
Looking for a Desk in All the Wrong Places
While Peggy and Marcy comb the city for Marcy's old baby furniture after Jefferson sells it to pocket the cash, the guys conduct a search of their own for the perfect maid although cleanliness is the last thing on their minds.
TV-PG
5:00 am
Married With Children
Buck Has a Belly Ache
When Al and the kids are preoccupied with a seemingly sick Buck, Peg, feeling neglected, returns home to her kin in Wanker County for a little TLC.
TV-PG
5:30 am
Married With Children
If I Could See Me Now
After nearly driving off a bridge, Al lets the kids convince him to get eyeglasses, only to discover he doesn't like what he sees.
TV-PG
 

Saturday, June 10

6:00 am
Everybody Loves Raymond (SAP)
Letter, The
Debra lays it on the line in a letter to Marie.
TV-PG
6:30 am
Movie
McFarland, USA
A struggling coach and teacher who has had to move around for different incidents in his career finally comes to one of the poorest cities in America: McFarland, California. There he discovers buried potential in several high school boys and slowly turns them into championship runners and brings them closer than even he could ever imagine.
TV-PG
9:15 am
Movie
Rudy
All his life, people have told Rudy he''s not good enough, not smart enough, not big enough. But nothing can stop his impossible dream of playing football for Notre Dame. From the time he''s a young boy, Rudy is determined to join the Fighting Irish. But his blue collar family only laughs at his ambitions - they know Rudy will follow his father and brothers to the local steel mill. And, for four long years after high school, he does just that. But some dreams won''t die, as Rudy proves when he goes to heroic lengths to win admission to Notre Dame. Once there, he becomes a walk-on player, serving as little more than a human tackling dummy against the starting players. Bloodied but unbeaten, Rudy wins the respect of legendary coach Ara Parseghian and the other Irish players, who give him one shot at gridiron glory.
TV-PG
11:45 am
Movie (DVS)
Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Ricky Bobby has always dreamed of driving fast--real fast--like his father, Reese Bobby, who left the family to pursue his racing dreams. Early on, Ricky's mother, Lucy Bobby worried that her boy was also destined to end up as a professional daredevil on wheels. Ricky enters the racing arena as a "jackman" for slovenly driver Terry Cheveaux and accidentally gets his big break behind the wheel when Cheveaux makes an unscheduled pit stop during a race to gorge on a chicken sandwich. Ricky jumps into the car and so begins the ballad of Ricky Bobby. Ricky quickly becomes one of NASCAR's top stars, supported by his pit boys--the impressively large crew chief Lucius Washington, a trio of lovably moronic but loyal crew members, Herschell, Kyle and Glenn, as well as racing partner and boyhood best friend, Cal Naughton, Jr. They are all part of the Dennit Racing team, headed by wealthy Dennit Senior and his petulant son, Dennit Junior, whose jealousy of Ricky Bobby increases with every victory. In a short time, Ricky Bobby is on top of the world. He has everything a championship NASCAR driver could ever want--a gorgeous wife, Carley, a lakeside mansion, two hell-raising sons, Walker and Texas Ranger, huge sponsor endorsements and a string of victories from Daytona to Darlington. Ricky Bobby's "win at all costs" approach had made him a natural hero. But after a frightening crash sends Ricky Bobby to the hospital, he loses his nerve and falls on hard times. When his career and his wife are taken over by his friend Cal, Ricky Bobby turns his back on racing and takes his sons back to his small hometown to live with his mother. But Ricky just isn't cut for the slow life away from the race track and soon hits rock bottom. His mother reluctantly turns to the only person she can think of to help her son--his estranged father Reese Bobby. Ricky Bobby will do anything to find a way back to the top, no matter how many speed bumps life throws his way.
TV-14
2:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where Rachel Smokes, The
Rachel submits to peer pressure at work. Joey and Ross' son audition for the same commercial but only one can get the part.
TV-PG
2:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where Ross Can't Flirt, The
Ross' flirting technique fails to impress a cute pizza-delivery woman. A surprise awaits Joey when he tells everyone about his big television appearance.
TV-PG
3:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with the Ride Along, The
The guys enjoy riding along with a police officer until a gunshot is heard. Rachel overhears a telephone message for Ross from his second ex-wife.
TV-PG
3:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with the Ball, The
Phoebe's boyfriend wants her to move in with him. Ross and Joey involve Chandler and Monica in an obsessive game.
TV-PG
4:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One with Joey's Big Break, The
Joey's first major film role leads to an unexpected experience in Las Vegas. Phoebe can't remember why she hates Ross.
TV-PG
4:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One in Vegas Part 1, The
The gang travels to Las Vegas, Nevada, where more than one surprise awaits. After Ross misinterprets Rachel's actions, a war of public humiliation results.
TV-PG
5:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One in Vegas Part 2, The
Monica and Chandler get lucky in Las Vegas, Nevada. Rachel makes Ross regret playing a prank on her. Joey schemes for fame and fortune.
TV-PG
5:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One After Vegas, The
Two of the friends leave Las Vegas married. Joey and Phoebe have a cross-country adventure.
TV-PG
6:00 pm
2 Broke Girls (DVS)
And the Inside Outside Situation
Max and Caroline's cupcake shop is boycotted after they refuse to sell cupcakes to an artist who wants to put cocktail weenies in them.
TV-14
6:30 pm
2 Broke Girls (DVS)
And the Escape Room
Han believes his diner employees are not working together as a team, so he insists they all attend a mandatory night out at the Escape Room club.
TV-14
7:00 pm
2 Broke Girls (DVS)
And the Not Regular Down There
Max is puzzled and curious when her new beau expresses hesitations about intimacy because he is "not regular down there." Meanwhile, Sophie and Oleg struggle to get pregnant.
TV-14
7:30 pm
2 Broke Girls (DVS)
And the Coming Out Party
Caroline's grandmother Astrid awakens from a coma with no knowledge of her family's massive money scandal, so Caroline tries to keep the truth from her a bit longer by giving Astrid one last fancy luncheon.
TV-14
8:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Alien Parasite Hypothesis, The
Amy crushes on one of Penny's dim ex-boyfriends, Zack. Raj and Wolowitz argue over who'd be the better superhero.
TV-14
8:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Justice League Recombination, The
The guys get Zack and Penny to join their Justice League costume for a New Year's Eve bash at the comic book store.
TV-14
9:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Bus Pants Utilization, The
Their friendship becomes strained when Sheldon tries to take over Leonard's creation of a smartphone application that solves differential equations.
TV-PG
9:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Love Car Displacement, The
Howard is jealous when Bernadette runs into her old boyfriend at a science event they're attending.
TV-14
10:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Thespian Catalyst, The
Sheldon wants acting lessons from Penny, hoping they will make him a better teacher.
TV-14
10:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Benefactor Factor, The
After meeting at a fundraising gala, an aged but wealthy, Caltech donor makes Leonard ponder if he's willing to have sex with her to secure another donation.
TV-14
11:00 pm
Full Frontal with Samantha Bee
Episode 2049
TV-MA
11:30 pm
Angie Tribeca (DVS)
Germs of Endearment
When an outbreak of a lethal virus threatens to liquefy everyone in Los Angeles and perhaps the world, the team realizes this might be the season's serial killer's magnum opus.
TV-14
12:00 am
Movie (DVS)
Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby
Ricky Bobby has always dreamed of driving fast--real fast--like his father, Reese Bobby, who left the family to pursue his racing dreams. Early on, Ricky's mother, Lucy Bobby worried that her boy was also destined to end up as a professional daredevil on wheels. Ricky enters the racing arena as a "jackman" for slovenly driver Terry Cheveaux and accidentally gets his big break behind the wheel when Cheveaux makes an unscheduled pit stop during a race to gorge on a chicken sandwich. Ricky jumps into the car and so begins the ballad of Ricky Bobby. Ricky quickly becomes one of NASCAR's top stars, supported by his pit boys--the impressively large crew chief Lucius Washington, a trio of lovably moronic but loyal crew members, Herschell, Kyle and Glenn, as well as racing partner and boyhood best friend, Cal Naughton, Jr. They are all part of the Dennit Racing team, headed by wealthy Dennit Senior and his petulant son, Dennit Junior, whose jealousy of Ricky Bobby increases with every victory. In a short time, Ricky Bobby is on top of the world. He has everything a championship NASCAR driver could ever want--a gorgeous wife, Carley, a lakeside mansion, two hell-raising sons, Walker and Texas Ranger, huge sponsor endorsements and a string of victories from Daytona to Darlington. Ricky Bobby's "win at all costs" approach had made him a natural hero. But after a frightening crash sends Ricky Bobby to the hospital, he loses his nerve and falls on hard times. When his career and his wife are taken over by his friend Cal, Ricky Bobby turns his back on racing and takes his sons back to his small hometown to live with his mother. But Ricky just isn't cut for the slow life away from the race track and soon hits rock bottom. His mother reluctantly turns to the only person she can think of to help her son--his estranged father Reese Bobby. Ricky Bobby will do anything to find a way back to the top, no matter how many speed bumps life throws his way.
TV-14
2:15 am
Movie (DVS)
Bounty Hunter, The
Milo Boyd, a down-on-his-luck bounty hunter, gets his dream job when he is assigned to track down his bail-jumping ex-wife, reporter Nicole Hurly. He thinks all that's ahead is an easy payday, but when Nicole gives him the slip so she can chase a lead on a murder cover-up, Milo realizes that nothing ever goes simply with him and Nicole. The exes continually one-up each other - until they find themselves on the run for their lives. They thought their promise to love, honor and obey was tough - staying alive is going to be a whole lot tougher.
TV-14
4:30 am
New Girl
Wedding Eve
'Twas the night before the wedding, and Nick and Winston help out on Schmidt's rewrite of his vows, while Jess, who suspects Sam will propose to her, gets the gang to play a game of True American to avoid having to answer him.
TV-14
5:00 am
New Girl
Landing Gear
In the Season 5 finale, Schmidt's last ditch effort to convince Cece's mother to attend the wedding leads to complications that might result in him missing the big day.
TV-14
5:30 am
Everybody Loves Raymond (SAP)
Civil War
Ray and Frank enlist for a Civil War re-enactment.
TV-PG