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SCHEDULE: October 2014

Times listed for EASTERN and PACIFIC timezones except where otherwise noted.

Friday, October 31

6:00 am
Full House
Captain Video (Part 1)
Michelle joins the "Honey-Bees" and to the family's dismay tries to earn her first badge in cooking. When the TV station terminates Jesse as Joey's sidekick, Jesse decides to put all his effort into his music career--with no success, however, until the Beach Boys offer him exclusive rights to one of their songs.
TV-G
6:30 am
Rules of Engagement
Young and the Restless
TV-PG
7:00 am
Married With Children
Bud on the Side
Al's boss falls in love with Bud.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Married With Children
Bundy Thanksgiving, A
An untimely death threatens Al's Thanksgiving tradition; Kelly tries to a pet turkey from becoming a holiday dinner.
TV-PG
8:00 am
King of Queens, The
Depo Man
Carrie asks Doug to be an expert witness at her boss's trial.
TV-PG
8:30 am
King of Queens, The
Life Sentence
Doug sets up a camera in the basement to monitor Arthur.
TV-PG
9:00 am
Movie
Envy
Tim and Nick are best friends, neighbors and co-workers, whose equal footing is suddenly tripped up when one of Nick's hare-brained get-rich-quick schemes actually succeeds: the Vaporizer, a spray that literally makes dog poop, or any other kind for that matter, evaporate into thin air--to where, exactly, is anyone's guess. Tim, who had scoffed at Nick's idea and passed on an opportunity to get in on the deal, can only watch as Nick's fortune--and Tim's own envy--grow to equally outrageous proportions. When the flames of jealousy are fanned by an oddball drifter who imposes himself into the situation, Tim's life careens wildly out of control, taking Nick's with it.
TV-PG
11:00 am
America's Funniest Home Videos
AFHV #2110
Christmas 2010
TV-G
12:00 pm
Cleveland Show, The
Harder, Better, Faster, Browner
Cleveland helps ignite the career of a struggling rapper after the pair produce a new hit single.
TV-14
12:30 pm
Cleveland Show, The
Cleveland Live!
In this "live" broadcast of "The Cleveland Show," complications ensue when Cleveland and Donna attempt to celebrate their anniversary.
TV-14
1:00 pm
American Dad
Blood Crieth Unto Heaven
In a tribute to and send-up of the Pulitzer Prize-winning play, "August: Osage County," a dark secret is revealed about the Smith family's past when Francine invites Stan's incarcerated dad, Jack, to Stan's birthday party. Also in this spoof, Roger plays Edna, a maid who nurses Bullock and Hayley's love child. But when Edna falls in love with Bullock, it could mean dire consequences for the kid.
TV-14
1:30 pm
American Dad
Max Jets
Roger (Seth MacFarlane) announces that "Max Jets," a character of Roger's who enjoys showering the Smith family with money, is soon getting out of prison. But a wrench is thrown in the system when Max falls in love with Gina (Michelle Monaghan), a gold-digging waitress who threatens the family's inheritance.
TV-14
2:00 pm
American Dad
Naked to the Limit, One More Time
Roger pretends to be Jeff's imaginary friend, so he can freely roam naked around the house with no disguise. But when big-mouth Jeff figures out that Roger is an alien, Stan issues an ultimatum: either Roger or Jeff must be killed immediately. Meanwhile, Steve becomes insecure about the shape of his rear end.
TV-14
2:30 pm
American Dad
For Black Eyes Only
In Part 2 of "The Tearjerker Saga," a "James Bond" parody, Stan and his wife, Sexpun Tocome's honeymoon is brutally interrupted when Black Villain (guest voice Kevin Michael Richardson) fatally shoots Sexpun. Determined to get his revenge, Stan teams up with former nemesis The Tearjerker to track down Black Villain and put a stop to his evil plan to melt the arctic glaciers.
TV-14
3:00 pm
Robot Chicken
Lust for Puppets
The creators imagine how Babar might rule with an iron tusk, where O.J. might search for his ex-wife's killer and what Skynet might send back as their next Terminator, plus check out the latest superhero movie.
TV-14
3:15 pm
Robot Chicken
Anne Marie's Pride
Mr. T and the Foo Fighters forge an unlikely alliance. Stretch Armstrong needs a corn syrup transplant. A mermaid shows a surface boy the wonders of Atlantis. A guy dates his GPS navigational system. Learn the untold origin of Alvin and the Chipmunks! Roger Ebert and guest reviewer M. Night Shyamalan present upcoming feature films, including Schindler's List 2: Schindler's Pissed.
TV-14
3:30 pm
Robot Chicken
Toy Meets Girl
William Shatner's toupee has adventures the action star can only dream of. Heaven's not all it's cracked up to be in "Can We Handle the Truth" Hilary Duff's new film combines history and teen drama in an updated The Diary of Anne Frank. The fates of the greatest action figure toy lines from decades past are exposed in "Where Are They Now"
TV-14
3:45 pm
Robot Chicken
Midnight Snack
"The World's Most One-Sided Fistfights" get wild at Mardi Gras. Benjamin Franklin grapples with historical figures like the Wright Brothers and Mahatma Gandhi in "Educational Wrestling Federation."
TV-14
4:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With the Proposal (Part 1), The
Chandler plans to propose to Monica.
TV-PG
4:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With the Proposal (Part 2), The
Monica asks Chandler to be her husband.
TV-PG
5:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With the Fake Monica, The
Monica meets a woman who helps her live out her fantasies. Ross' pet monkey becomes sexually mature and makes everyone crazy.
TV-PG
5:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With the Ick Factor, The
Monica finds out more than she wants to know about her latest love. Chandler's friends at work treat him differently since his promotion. Ross' ex-wife begins giving birth.
TV-PG
6:00 pm
Seinfeld
Soup, The
Jerry regrets accepting a designer suit from an obnoxious comedian (Stephen Hytner).
TV-PG
6:30 pm
Seinfeld
Secretary, The
A new secretary's efficiency arouses George; Jerry spots a dry cleaner wearing his clothes.
TV-PG
7:00 pm
Seinfeld
Switch, The
Kramer's mom (Sheree North) reveals her son's name to George; guest Terry Sweeney.
TV-PG
7:30 pm
Seinfeld
Race, The
An ex-classmate questions Jerry's status as the fastest runner in high school; guest Vicki Lewis.
TV-PG
8:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Middle Earth Paradigm, The
Penny hosts a Halloween party, putting Leonard, Sheldon, Wolowitz, and Koothrappali through a new test of their social skills.
TV-PG
8:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Good Guy Fluctuation, The
Sheldon tries to spook his friends on Halloween.
TV-14
9:00 pm
Deal With It
Happy Howie-ween with Ross Mathews & Bobby Lee
FOOTBALL: This contestant has football on the brain and decides to kick off the new season while her friend watches from the sideline. Co-host: Bobby Lee. CHAMPAGNE PROBLEMS: After faking a foot injury, a contestant enlists the help of a friend, then offers a thank-you with a face full of foot. Co-host: Ross Mathews.
TV-14
9:30 pm
Movie (DVS)
Zombieland
Two men have found a way to survive a world overrun by zombies. Columbus is a big wuss - but when you're afraid of being eaten by zombies, fear can keep you alive. Tallahassee is an AK-totin', zombie-slayin' badass whose single determination is to get the last Twinkie on earth. As they join forces with Wichita and Little Rock, who have also found unique ways to survive the zombie mayhem, they will have to determine which is worse: relying on each other or succumbing to the zombies.
TV-14
11:30 pm
Deal With It
Happy Howie-ween with Ross Mathews & Bobby Lee
FOOTBALL: This contestant has football on the brain and decides to kick off the new season while her friend watches from the sideline. Co-host: Bobby Lee. CHAMPAGNE PROBLEMS: After faking a foot injury, a contestant enlists the help of a friend, then offers a thank-you with a face full of foot. Co-host: Ross Mathews.
TV-14
12:00 am
Movie
Spider-Man
Orphaned at an early age, Peter Parker lives in Queens, New York with his beloved Aunt May and Uncle Ben. Peter leads the life of a normal student, working as a photographer at the school paper, pining after the beautiful Mary Jane Watson and hanging out with buddy Harry Osborn. On a school trip, during which Peter and his classmates are given a science demonstration on arachnids, Peter is bitten by a genetically-altered spider. Soon after, he discovers that he has unusual powers: he is endowed with the strength and agility of a spider along with a keen, ESP-like "spider-sense." Peter first uses his powers to make money, but in the face of a tragedy that hits close to home, he vows to dedicate his life to fighting crime, taking to heart the words of his beloved Uncle Ben: "With great power comes great responsibility." Meanwhile, megalomaniacal businessman Norman Osborn, Harry's father, is undergoing some changes of his own. An experimental formula has gone awry, increasing his intelligence and strength but also driving him insane. He is now the Green Goblin, Spider-Man's arch enemy, who will put young Peter Parker's vow to fight crime and help innocent people to the ultimate test.
TV-PG
2:30 am
Movie (DVS)
Zombieland
Two men have found a way to survive a world overrun by zombies. Columbus is a big wuss - but when you're afraid of being eaten by zombies, fear can keep you alive. Tallahassee is an AK-totin', zombie-slayin' badass whose single determination is to get the last Twinkie on earth. As they join forces with Wichita and Little Rock, who have also found unique ways to survive the zombie mayhem, they will have to determine which is worse: relying on each other or succumbing to the zombies.
TV-14
4:30 am
Married With Children
Live Nude Peg
Al falls in love with a stripper, unaware that she's actually his wife.
TV-PG
5:00 am
Married With Children
God Help Ye Merry Bundymen
As Al and Griff lose their jobs on Christmas Eve, Marcy and Jefferson's entry in a neighborhood contest is sabotaged by Kelly and Bud.
TV-PG
5:30 am
Married With Children
T*R*A*S*H
Al and Griff join Jefferson in the National Guard.
TV-PG
 

Saturday, November 1

6:00 am
Married With Children
Babe in Toyland, A
Kelly becomes a prima donna after being asked to fill in on a popular children's television program.
TV-PG
6:30 am
Married With Children
Breaking Up Is Easy to Do (1)
A party game sends Al and Peggy to a marriage counselor; Kelly squares off in the boxing ring against a rival actress.
TV-PG
7:00 am
Married With Children
Breaking Up Is Easy to Do (2)
When Al moves out, he and Peggy throw themselves into the singles scene, with widely different results.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Married With Children
Breaking Up Is Easy to Do (3)
While Al finds single life dismal, Peggy tries to land a new husband.
TV-PG
8:00 am
King of Queens, The
Double Downer
Doug spoils Carrie's plans for a romantic weekend when he organizes an outing to Atlantic City -- and his boss ends up joining them.
TV-PG
8:30 am
King of Queens, The
Ovary Action
Holiday visitors interrupt Doug and Carrie's attempt to conceive.
TV-PG
9:00 am
King of Queens, The
Food Fight
Carrie grows jealous when Spence's girlfriend (Christine Nelson) recruits Doug to test her culinary homework.
TV-PG
9:30 am
Movie
Journey to the Center of the Earth
No one believes that Trevor Anderson is on to something. The science professor's unconventional hypotheses have put him on the fringe of the academic community. But during an expedition in Iceland, Trevor and his teenage nephew, Sean, accompanied by their beautiful local guide, Hannah, make a breakthrough discovery that launches them on a thrilling adventure into the unknown. As their journey takes them deep beneath the Earth's surface, they travel through never-before-seen worlds that bring them face-to-face with surreal and unimaginable creatures, stretching the bounds of the visionary scientist's own imagination.
TV-PG
11:15 am
Movie
Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time
Set in 9th century Persia, an adventurous young prince uncovers a dangerous artifact in a remote mountain kingdom. With the help of a rival princess, he must stop a despot from unleashing a sandstorm that could destroy all mankind.
TV-PG
1:30 pm
Movie
Spider-Man
Orphaned at an early age, Peter Parker lives in Queens, New York with his beloved Aunt May and Uncle Ben. Peter leads the life of a normal student, working as a photographer at the school paper, pining after the beautiful Mary Jane Watson and hanging out with buddy Harry Osborn. On a school trip, during which Peter and his classmates are given a science demonstration on arachnids, Peter is bitten by a genetically-altered spider. Soon after, he discovers that he has unusual powers: he is endowed with the strength and agility of a spider along with a keen, ESP-like "spider-sense." Peter first uses his powers to make money, but in the face of a tragedy that hits close to home, he vows to dedicate his life to fighting crime, taking to heart the words of his beloved Uncle Ben: "With great power comes great responsibility." Meanwhile, megalomaniacal businessman Norman Osborn, Harry's father, is undergoing some changes of his own. An experimental formula has gone awry, increasing his intelligence and strength but also driving him insane. He is now the Green Goblin, Spider-Man's arch enemy, who will put young Peter Parker's vow to fight crime and help innocent people to the ultimate test.
TV-PG
4:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where Heckles Dies, The
The downstairs neighbor dies and bequeaths his strange possessions to Monica and Rachel.
TV-PG
4:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With Phoebe's Husband, The
Everyone is surprised when Phoebe's husband shows up.
TV-PG
5:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With Five Steaks And an Eggplant, The
The friends want to give Ross a birthday party but disagree about money. Monica gets promoted and learns a tough lesson.
TV-PG
5:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With Monica's Thunder, The
Monica excitedly reveals her good news to everyone, but Rachel and Ross upstage her. Chandler has trouble making love.
TV-PG
6:00 pm
Everybody Loves Raymond (SAP)
Family Bed, The
Ally's nightmares keep everybody awake.
TV-PG
6:30 pm
Everybody Loves Raymond (SAP)
Good Girls
Marie prefers Robert's girlfriend to Debra.
TV-PG
7:00 pm
Everybody Loves Raymond (SAP)
T-Ball
Debra fights with a T-ball parent about unhealthy snacks.
TV-PG
7:30 pm
Everybody Loves Raymond (SAP)
Traffic School
Robert uses a ventriloquist's dummy to enliven his traffic-school classes.
TV-PG
8:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Monster Isolation, The
Raj vows never to leave his apartment after a horrible date.
TV-PG
8:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Contractual Obligation Implementation, The
Leonard, Sheldon and Howard try to advance the cause of women in science by speaking with junior high girls about their future careers, while Raj plans his date with Lucy.
TV-PG
9:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Closet Reconfiguration, The
To open or not to open When Howard finds a letter from his father, he's forced to confront his past. And Leonard and Penny throw a "grown-up" cocktail party at the apartment.
TV-PG
9:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Tenure Turbulence, The
Leonard, Sheldon and Raj fight for tenure at the University.
TV-14
10:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Closure Alternative, The
After one of his favorite TV shows gets canceled too soon, Sheldon feels lost, so Amy tries to help him get over his compulsive need for closure by retraining his brain.
TV-PG
10:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Proton Resurgence, The
Leonard and Sheldon hire Professor Proton (guest star BOB NEWHART), the host of their favorite childhood TV show to perform. Raj leaves his dog with Howard and Bernadette.
TV-PG
11:00 pm
Deal With It
Happy Howie-ween with Ross Mathews & Bobby Lee
FOOTBALL: This contestant has football on the brain and decides to kick off the new season while her friend watches from the sideline. Co-host: Bobby Lee. CHAMPAGNE PROBLEMS: After faking a foot injury, a contestant enlists the help of a friend, then offers a thank-you with a face full of foot. Co-host: Ross Mathews.
TV-14
11:30 pm
Fake Off
Art of the Fake, The
The next generation talent show has arrived, as ten teams of performers go head-to-head recreating iconic pop culture moments. Judges Harry Shum Jr. (Glee), Michael Curry (Cirque du Soleil) and Chilli (TLC) lead the way! Kicking off the season, a video-mapping troupe reinvents the world's most infamous shipwreck, skilled street dancers pop-n-lock with classic video game characters, and a theater troupe hits the gridiron to "fake" the biggest football game of the year.
TV-PG
12:30 am
Movie (DVS)
Meet the Fockers
Now that Greg Focker is "in" with his soon-to-be in-laws, Jack and Dina Byrnes, it looks like smooth sailing for him and his fiancÚe, Pam. But that''s before Pam''s parents meet Greg''s parents, Bernie and Roz Focker. The hyper-relaxed Fockers and the tightly-wound Byrneses are woefully mismatched from the start, and no matter how hard Greg and Pam try, there is just no bringing their families together.
TV-14
2:00 am
Movie
Heartbreak Kid, The
After years of bachelorhood and ample pressure from his father, Doc, and best friend Mac, Eddie Cantrow starts to wonder if he is being too picky about the women he meets. So when a chance encounter with an alluring blonde named Lila leads to a sweet romance, Eddie impulsively proposes. But right after the wedding, as the newlyweds get to know each other on the drive down the California coast, Eddie begins to realize he's made a terrible mistake. Soon after reaching their exotic Mexican hideaway, he falls for the down-to-earth Miranda, who has no clue he's on his honeymoon. Now Eddie has to find a way to extricate himself from his days-old marriage without losing the girl of his dreams.
TV-14
4:15 am
TBS Network Preview
Episode 1
A backstage peek at TBS's original programs.
4:30 am
Married With Children
Taxing Problem
About to be audited by the IRS, Al has to come up with a quick five grand and decides to sell Peggy's hair.
TV-PG
5:00 am
Married With Children
You Gotta Know When to Fold 'Em (1)
About to be audited by the IRS, Al has to come up with a quick five grand and decides to sell Peggy's hair.
TV-PG
5:30 am
Married With Children
Birthday Boy Toy
As Jefferson's worries about getting old force him into taking a job, Al tries to cure Peggy's shopping addiction.
TV-PG
 

Sunday, November 2

6:00 am
Married With Children
Damn Bundys
Al sells his soul for a chance to play in the Super Bowl.
TV-PG
6:30 am
King of Queens, The
Dougie Nights
Doug starts club-hopping with newly single Deacon.
TV-PG
7:00 am
King of Queens, The
No Orleans
Doug and Carrie sneak off to New Orleans without Doug's cousins.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Friends (SAP)
One With the Birth, The
When Carol gives birth, Ross and Susan almost miss the event. Joey befriends an unmarried pregnant woman.
TV-PG
8:00 am
Friends (SAP)
One Where Rachel Finds Out, The
Rachel finds out about Ross' secret love for her -- but another surprise awaits her.
TV-PG
8:30 am
Friends (SAP)
One With Ross's New Girlfriend, The
Rachel gets an unpleasant surprise when Ross returns home. Phoebe has varied success cutting the friends' hair.
TV-14
9:00 am
Friends (SAP)
One With the Breast Milk, The
Phoebe unwittingly disgusts everybody. Joey competes with a fellow salesman.
TV-PG
9:30 am
Movie (DVS)
Paul Blart: Mall Cop
A single, suburban dad tries to make ends meet as a security officer at a New Jersey mall. It''s a job he takes very seriously, though no one else does. When Santa''s helpers at the mall stage a coup, shutting down the megaplex and taking hostages (Paul''s daughter and sweetheart among them), Jersey''s most formidable mall cop will have to become a real cop to save the day.
TV-PG
11:30 am
Movie
You, Me and Dupree
Carl and Molly have found the one unfortunate hitch in their perfectly constructed newly wedded world: Dupree. A slacker with the soul of a poet, Dupree just can''t seem to catch a break from "The Man." When he takes a week off to go be the best-man at Carl and Molly''s wedding in Hawaii, Dupree gets the unceremonious heave-ho from his boss. Now jobless, car-less and evicted from the cot at his favorite watering hole, he just needs to crash with the Petersons for a couple of days; okay, maybe a month or so. At first, Carl is psyched to have the couch guest while Molly bears the brunt of Dupree''s well-meaning antics. But, as Carl becomes buried in his grown-up job of land development and headaches, he finds it hard to juggle Dupree and his newlywed responsibilities. As time passes, his and Molly''s houseguest uses his ample spare time to become a great companion to her, underscoring Carl''s new workaholic tendencies. Even Molly''s dad begins to fall for Dupree''s carefree wisdom, frustrating Carl to no end. Soon, everyone--but Carl--begins to root for Dupree to stick around. But just as the impish buddy starts becoming a fixture in the Petersons'' home, three becomes not just a crowd, but a full-blown comic catastrophe. As the couple realizes their ideas of a white-picket fence marriage are morphing, their loveable pal serves as a daily reminder that finding your inner Dupree might just be one of life''s hidden secrets
TV-14
1:45 pm
Movie (DVS)
Hall Pass
Rick and Fred are best friends who have a lot in common, including the fact that they have each been married for many years. But when the two men begin to show signs of restlessness at home, their wives take a bold approach to revitalizing their marriages: granting them a "hall pass," one week of freedom to do whatever they want...no questions asked. At first, it sounds like a dream come true for Rick and Fred. But it isn't long before they discover that their expectations of the single life--and themselves--are completely, and hilariously, out of sync with reality.
TV-14
3:45 pm
Movie
Heartbreak Kid, The
After years of bachelorhood and ample pressure from his father, Doc, and best friend Mac, Eddie Cantrow starts to wonder if he is being too picky about the women he meets. So when a chance encounter with an alluring blonde named Lila leads to a sweet romance, Eddie impulsively proposes. But right after the wedding, as the newlyweds get to know each other on the drive down the California coast, Eddie begins to realize he's made a terrible mistake. Soon after reaching their exotic Mexican hideaway, he falls for the down-to-earth Miranda, who has no clue he's on his honeymoon. Now Eddie has to find a way to extricate himself from his days-old marriage without losing the girl of his dreams.
TV-14
6:00 pm
Movie (DVS)
Meet the Fockers
Now that Greg Focker is "in" with his soon-to-be in-laws, Jack and Dina Byrnes, it looks like smooth sailing for him and his fiancÚe, Pam. But that''s before Pam''s parents meet Greg''s parents, Bernie and Roz Focker. The hyper-relaxed Fockers and the tightly-wound Byrneses are woefully mismatched from the start, and no matter how hard Greg and Pam try, there is just no bringing their families together.
TV-14
8:00 pm
Network Television Premiere (DVS)
Crazy, Stupid, Love
At fortysomething, straight-laced Cal Weaver is living the dream - good job, nice house, great kids and marriage to his high school sweetheart. But when Cal learns that his wife, Emily, has cheated on him and wants a divorce, his "perfect" life quickly unravels. Worse, in today's single world, Cal, who hasn't dated in decades, stands out as the epitome of un-smooth. Now spending his free evenings sulking alone at a local bar, the hapless Cal is taken on as wingman and protege to handsome, thirtysomething player Jacob Palmer. In an effort to help Cal get over his wife and start living his life, Jacob opens Cal's eyes to the many options before him: flirty women, manly drinks and a sense of style that can't be found at Supercuts or The Gap. Cal and Emily aren't the only ones looking for love in what might be all the wrong places: Cal's 13-year-old son, Robbie, is crazy about his 17-year-old babysitter, Jessica, who harbors a crush on Cal. And despite Cal's makeover and his many new conquests, the one thing that can't be made over is his heart, which seems to keep leading him back to where he began.
TV-14
10:30 pm
Network Television Premiere (DVS)
Crazy, Stupid, Love
At fortysomething, straight-laced Cal Weaver is living the dream - good job, nice house, great kids and marriage to his high school sweetheart. But when Cal learns that his wife, Emily, has cheated on him and wants a divorce, his "perfect" life quickly unravels. Worse, in today's single world, Cal, who hasn't dated in decades, stands out as the epitome of un-smooth. Now spending his free evenings sulking alone at a local bar, the hapless Cal is taken on as wingman and protege to handsome, thirtysomething player Jacob Palmer. In an effort to help Cal get over his wife and start living his life, Jacob opens Cal's eyes to the many options before him: flirty women, manly drinks and a sense of style that can't be found at Supercuts or The Gap. Cal and Emily aren't the only ones looking for love in what might be all the wrong places: Cal's 13-year-old son, Robbie, is crazy about his 17-year-old babysitter, Jessica, who harbors a crush on Cal. And despite Cal's makeover and his many new conquests, the one thing that can't be made over is his heart, which seems to keep leading him back to where he began.
TV-14
1:00 am
Movie (DVS)
Hall Pass
Rick and Fred are best friends who have a lot in common, including the fact that they have each been married for many years. But when the two men begin to show signs of restlessness at home, their wives take a bold approach to revitalizing their marriages: granting them a "hall pass," one week of freedom to do whatever they want...no questions asked. At first, it sounds like a dream come true for Rick and Fred. But it isn't long before they discover that their expectations of the single life--and themselves--are completely, and hilariously, out of sync with reality.
TV-14
3:00 am
Movie
You, Me and Dupree
Carl and Molly have found the one unfortunate hitch in their perfectly constructed newly wedded world: Dupree. A slacker with the soul of a poet, Dupree just can''t seem to catch a break from "The Man." When he takes a week off to go be the best-man at Carl and Molly''s wedding in Hawaii, Dupree gets the unceremonious heave-ho from his boss. Now jobless, car-less and evicted from the cot at his favorite watering hole, he just needs to crash with the Petersons for a couple of days; okay, maybe a month or so. At first, Carl is psyched to have the couch guest while Molly bears the brunt of Dupree''s well-meaning antics. But, as Carl becomes buried in his grown-up job of land development and headaches, he finds it hard to juggle Dupree and his newlywed responsibilities. As time passes, his and Molly''s houseguest uses his ample spare time to become a great companion to her, underscoring Carl''s new workaholic tendencies. Even Molly''s dad begins to fall for Dupree''s carefree wisdom, frustrating Carl to no end. Soon, everyone--but Carl--begins to root for Dupree to stick around. But just as the impish buddy starts becoming a fixture in the Petersons'' home, three becomes not just a crowd, but a full-blown comic catastrophe. As the couple realizes their ideas of a white-picket fence marriage are morphing, their loveable pal serves as a daily reminder that finding your inner Dupree might just be one of life''s hidden secrets
TV-14
5:00 am
Married With Children
Chicago Shoe Exchange
Al and Griff trade the shoe store's inventory for a massage chair.
TV-PG
5:30 am
Married With Children
Lez Be Friends
Al strikes up a friendship with Marcy's identical cousin.
TV-PG
 

Monday, November 3

6:00 am
Full House
Crushed
Stephanie's favorite rock star, TOMMY PAGE, comes to her birthday party. D.J. also yearns for Tommy, and the girls both try to win his affection.
TV-G
6:30 am
Rules of Engagement
Game On
TV-PG
7:00 am
Married With Children
Desperate Half-Hour (1), The
Bud's prison pen pal arrives to rob the Bundys.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Married With Children
How to Marry a Moron (2)
Al objects to Kelly marrying an armed robber, until he discovers that he's the heir to a family fortune.
TV-PG
8:00 am
King of Queens, The
Missing Links
Doug and Carrie search for a compatible couple to take with them to the firm's annual golf outing.
TV-PG
8:30 am
King of Queens, The
Hero Worship
Doug's uncle (Gavin MacLeod) offers to back financially his desire to open a sandwich shop.
TV-PG
9:00 am
Movie
Envy
Tim and Nick are best friends, neighbors and co-workers, whose equal footing is suddenly tripped up when one of Nick's hare-brained get-rich-quick schemes actually succeeds: the Vaporizer, a spray that literally makes dog poop, or any other kind for that matter, evaporate into thin air--to where, exactly, is anyone's guess. Tim, who had scoffed at Nick's idea and passed on an opportunity to get in on the deal, can only watch as Nick's fortune--and Tim's own envy--grow to equally outrageous proportions. When the flames of jealousy are fanned by an oddball drifter who imposes himself into the situation, Tim's life careens wildly out of control, taking Nick's with it.
TV-PG
11:00 am
America's Funniest Home Videos
AFHV #2111
I do's and don't's and state spotlight: New Jersey
TV-G
12:00 pm
Cleveland Show, The
How Cleveland Got His Groove Back
After being humiliated in a baseball challenge, Cleveland decides to vacation in Africa, but a layover in Hawaii proves to be the cure for his shattered confidence.
TV-14
12:30 pm
Cleveland Show, The
It's the Great Pancake, Junior Brown
When Cleveland concludes that Cleveland Jr. is too young for Halloween trick or treating, Junior reinvents his personality and becomes one of the "cool kids."
TV-14
1:00 pm
American Dad
Spelling Bee My Baby
Francine pressures Steve to win the National Spelling Bee so he can get into a top college. Stan and Roger try to slam Hayley through the five stages of grief so she will get over Jeff faster.
TV-14
1:30 pm
American Dad
Missing Kink, The
Francine discovers she has a spanking fetish; Hayley goes out on a date with Snot.
TV-14
2:00 pm
American Dad
Boring Identity, The
When Stan loses his memory, Francine attempts to transform him into the perfect husband; Roger joins Steve's newspaper route.
TV-14
2:30 pm
American Dad
Full Cognitive Redaction of Avery Bullock by the Coward Stan Smith, The
Stan learns that the CIA wants to wipe out Bullock's memory after he exhibits signs of dementia; Roger hires Stelio Kontos to deal with a student who's bullying Steve at school.
TV-14
3:00 pm
Robot Chicken
Terms of Endaredevil
Discover the secret origins of Mo-Larr, Eternian Destist! Lara Croft makes a terrifying find in a tomb, He-Man's father proves that sometimes the apple falls very, very far from the tree, and the creators imagine how Gargamel might finally get the best of the Smurf's in Smurfitar!
TV-14
3:15 pm
Robot Chicken
Big Trouble in Little Clerks 2
The creators imagine what goes on deep in the jungles of Pandora late at night, Harold and his purple crayon go on an adventure in a bad neighborhood, Major Nelson uses Jeannie to get back at NASA for firing him, and everyone in the G.I. Joe ranks gets to animal sidekick.
TV-14
3:30 pm
Robot Chicken
Sausage Fest
Li'l Hitler will win your heart! The Library of Heaven yields answers even God doesn't want you to know. The Burger King serves up some delicious B&E. Garfield and Heathcliff take each other to court. A giraffe deals with the stages of death. Action Jackson endorses laundry detergent. Never pick up a hitchhiking pig! The gang from Police Academy joins the X-Men.
TV-14
3:45 pm
Robot Chicken
Drippy Pony
Learn the secret life of Batman villain the Penguin. Kids will love playing with My Stalker! Orlando Bloom must help his fellow passengers survive after a plane crash. Meet Cork, the world's greatest retarded detective! Jesus and the Argonauts find action and adventure, and turn their backs on it. The Micronauts climb a mountain. The U.S. government declares war on Christmas.
TV-14
4:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With Rachel's Book, The
Monica is outraged to find out what her parents did with her wedding fund. Joey discovers Rachel's late-night reading material.
TV-PG
4:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With Phoebe's Cookies, The
Monica desperately tries to figure out a secret cookie recipe. Chandler fails to impress Monica's father.
TV-PG
5:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With Rachel's Assistant, The
Rachel is in a quandary when a sexy but unqualified man (EDDIE CAHILL) applies to be her assistant. Chandler, Monica and Ross tell embarrassing secrets about one another.
TV-PG
5:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With the Engagement Picture, The
Joey tries to teach Chandler how to smile for the camera. Phoebe and Ross bicker over their divorcing friends.
TV-PG
6:00 pm
Seinfeld
Scofflaw, The
A friend (Jon Lovitz) fakes illness to get Jerry's sympathy; Kramer obstructs justice.
TV-PG
6:30 pm
Seinfeld
Kiss Hello, The
Jerry stops greeting friends with a kiss; Uncle Leo puts Nana in a nursing home; guest Wendie Malick, Carol Leifer.
TV-PG
7:00 pm
Seinfeld
Beard, The
Elaine tries to change a gay man; George and his date have similar problems.
TV-PG
7:30 pm
Seinfeld
Doorman, The
A doorman (Larry Miller) tries to cause trouble for Jerry; Kramer develops a male undergarment.
TV-PG
8:00 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
He's Bla-ack!
With the Brown family moving back to Quahog, it looks like the old gang is reunited. But PeterĂs friendship with Cleveland is quickly put on hold when Donna and Lois butt heads over different parenting styles, and forbid them to see each other.
TV-14
8:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Brian's a Bad Father
Brian receives a call from his son, Dylan Flannigan, who wants to reconnect with him. At first, Brian is hesitant to meet up, but changes his tune when he discovers Dylan is the star of a new television show.
TV-14
9:00 pm
American Dad
Scents and Sensei-bility
Steve and Snot are fed up with being bullied. When they enroll in a karate class, Snot is brainwashed by the sensei and its Steve's mission to get him back. Meanwhile, Klaus develops a horrible odor and is forced into being an outside pet.
TV-14
9:30 pm
American Dad
Kung Pao Turkey
Stan's plans for a perfect Thanksgiving watching football in his underwear are thwarted when Francine invites her adoptive parents to join them for the holiday. Meanwhile, Francine's mom encourages Hayley to get back on the dating scene and invites an eligible bachelor over, but her true intentions are revealed at Thanksgiving dinner.
TV-14
10:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Love Spell Potential, The
When the girls' trip to Vegas falls through, the guys invite them to a Dungeons & Dragons date night that causes Sheldon and Amy's relationship to take an unexpected turn.
TV-PG
10:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Bon Voyage Reaction, The
On the sixth season finale, Sheldon and Penny are thrown for a loop when Leonard is offered an exciting new job opportunity overseas.
TV-PG
11:00 pm
Conan (CC)
Episode 5644
Guests: Animal expert David Mizejewski, Matt Donaher.
TV-14
12:00 am
Friends of the People
Meet the Friends
The Friends of the People debut their unique brand of humor including; an introduction to celebrity mash-up character Tracy Morgan Freeman, a night with a man who has an over active brain worm, and a heated Squabblin & Quarrelin' debate with the Lucas Brothers. Plus the FOTP create fun moments with real people on the streets of NYC.
TV-14
12:30 am
Conan (CC)
Episode 5644
Guests: Animal expert David Mizejewski, Matt Donaher.
TV-14
1:30 am
Cougar Town (SAP)
My Life/Your World (Part 2 of 2)
"My Life/Your World" -- When Grayson complains that he's living the movie "Groundhog Day" because the gang shows up at the same time every day at Jules' house, Jules asks for a "Groundhog Day"-themed bachelorette party so that Ellie and Laurie can explain the movie to her. Then, fed up with the lack of privacy, Grayson convinces Jules to elope to Napa . . . but the cul de sac crew happily tags along, on "Cougar Town." David Arquette guest stars as a hotel concierge who'll go to great (and possibly illegal) lengths to help the wine wedding go off without a hitch.
TV-PG
2:00 am
Movie
Envy
Tim and Nick are best friends, neighbors and co-workers, whose equal footing is suddenly tripped up when one of Nick's hare-brained get-rich-quick schemes actually succeeds: the Vaporizer, a spray that literally makes dog poop, or any other kind for that matter, evaporate into thin air--to where, exactly, is anyone's guess. Tim, who had scoffed at Nick's idea and passed on an opportunity to get in on the deal, can only watch as Nick's fortune--and Tim's own envy--grow to equally outrageous proportions. When the flames of jealousy are fanned by an oddball drifter who imposes himself into the situation, Tim's life careens wildly out of control, taking Nick's with it.
TV-PG
4:00 am
Married With Children
Pilot
Al and Peg Bundy meet their newlywed neighbors, Steve and Marcy Rhoades. Peg informs Marcy how to train her new husband, while Al teaches Steve how to be a man again.
TV-PG
4:30 am
Married With Children
Thinergy
Marcy enlightens Peggy with a new diet book called "Thinergy," a program which only works if both partners go through it together.
TV-PG
5:00 am
Married With Children
Sixteen Years and What Do You Get?
Al's credit card is maxed out when he tries to find a gift for Peggy on their anniversary.
TV-PG
5:30 am
Married With Children
But I Didn't Shoot the Deputy
Steve and Marcy buy a huge watch dog which annoys Al with his constant barking. But when Peggy hears a noise in the night, Al accidentally shoots the dog.
TV-PG
 

Tuesday, November 4

6:00 am
Full House
Spellbound
Stephanie competes in a spelling contest at school. Jesse gives Michelle a reading lesson, and Danny gives Stephanie a lesson in being a good loser.
TV-G
6:30 am
Rules of Engagement
Kids
TV-PG
7:00 am
Married With Children
Have You Driven a Ford Lately?
Al and Steve buy a classic Mustang and become consumed in restoring back to mint condition.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Married With Children
Whose Room Is It Anyway?
The Rhoades get a tax refund and they decide to build a room, but can't decide on what kind of room to build, a pool room for Al or an exercise room for Peggy.
TV-PG
8:00 am
King of Queens, The
Screwed Driver
Doug's parents take over the house when Carrie goes on a business trip.
TV-PG
8:30 am
King of Queens, The
Lush Life
Doug tries to get Carrie inebriated so he can cheat on his diet.
TV-PG
9:00 am
Movie
Tyler Perry's The Family That Preys
Wealthy socialite Charlotte Cartwright and her dear friend Alice Pratt, a working class woman of high ideals, have enjoyed a lasting friendship throughout many years. Suddenly, their lives become mired in turmoil as their adult children's extramarital affairs, unethical business practices and a dark paternity secret threaten to derail family fortunes and unravel the lives of all involved. Alice's self-centered newlywed daughter Andrea is betraying her trusting husband Chris by engaging in a torrid affair with her boss and mother's best friend's son William. While cheating on his wife Jillian with a string of ongoing dalliances with his mistress Andrea, William's true focus is to replace the COO of his mother's lucrative construction corporation. Meanwhile, Alice's other daughter Pam, a kind but no nonsense woman married to a hard working construction worker, tries to steer the family in a more positive direction. While paternity secrets, marital infidelity, greed and unsavory business dealings threaten to derail both families, Charlotte and Alice decide to take a breather from it all by making a cross-country road trip in which they rediscover themselves and possibly find a way to save their families from ruin.
TV-14
11:00 am
America's Funniest Home Videos
AFHV #2112
Naughty boys and football
TV-G
12:00 pm
Cleveland Show, The
Little Man on Campus
After his star pitcher is forced to leave the high school's baseball team, Cleveland enlists Holt's help after he turns out to have an excellent pitching arm.
TV-14
12:30 pm
Cleveland Show, The
Fat and Wet
Donna asks Cleveland to keep an eye on Rallo, but the boy almost drowns in a swimming pool, leaving Cleveland vulnerable to Rallo's blackmail scheme; Cleveland Jr. and Kendra attempt to eliminate discrimination against heavy-set people.
TV-14
1:00 pm
American Dad
Lost in Space
In order to return to Earth, the space-bound Jeff must convince an Emperor that he is in love with Hayley.
TV-14
1:30 pm
American Dad
Da Flippity Flop
Klaus swaps bodies with Stan after discovering that his original human body is on ice at the CIA; after converting the attic into a gym, Roger attempts to convince Stan to sign up for a lifetime membership.
TV-14
2:00 pm
American Dad
Steve and Snot's Test-Tubular Adventure
Stan reveals that the C.I.A. has a cloning machine at work. Steve and Snot decide to use the machine to clone girls so that they will finally have prom dates. The cloning process backfires as the girls emerge as babies.
TV-14
2:30 pm
American Dad
Poltergasm
Steve and Roger discover that the house is haunted. The ghost appears as an apparition of a younger Francine. The ghost grows more powerful until it attacks Hayley's boyfriend and pulls him into the netherworld.
TV-14
3:00 pm
Robot Chicken
Casablankman
See! Rubik the Amazing Cube as he returns for one last adventure. Watch! As kids try out the newest fad getting Suped. Discover! The secret behind a small doorway in a little boys room. And finally, the creators imagine what Eternias 24-hour gym might be like.
TV-14
3:15 pm
Robot Chicken
Godfather of the Bride II, The
Remember when MTV used to actually be about music The MTV logo does and its out for revenge. The Robot Chicken Nerd dreams of hanging out with Michael Knight from Knight Rider. A bunch of Spocks from the future gather for a surprise party and the creators imagine what television will be like in the year 2013.
TV-14
3:30 pm
Robot Chicken
Lust for Puppets
The creators imagine how Babar might rule with an iron tusk, where O.J. might search for his ex-wife's killer and what Skynet might send back as their next Terminator, plus check out the latest superhero movie.
TV-14
3:45 pm
Robot Chicken
Anne Marie's Pride
Mr. T and the Foo Fighters forge an unlikely alliance. Stretch Armstrong needs a corn syrup transplant. A mermaid shows a surface boy the wonders of Atlantis. A guy dates his GPS navigational system. Learn the untold origin of Alvin and the Chipmunks! Roger Ebert and guest reviewer M. Night Shyamalan present upcoming feature films, including Schindler's List 2: Schindler's Pissed.
TV-14
4:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With the Nap Partners, The
Rachel and Phoebe compete to be Monica's maid of honor, but Monica doesn't want to make the decision. Chandler tries to apologize to a girlfriend from his youth.
TV-PG
4:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With Ross's Library Book, The
Chandler's former girlfriend (MAGGIE WHEELER) manipulates Chandler and Monica. Rachel and Phoebe meddle in Joey's relationship. KRISTIN DAVIS also guest stars.
TV-PG
5:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With All the Candy, The
Rachel gets in trouble for dating her assistant (EDDIE CAHILL). Monica tries to become friendlier with her neighbors. Phoebe needs lessons in riding a bike.
TV-PG
5:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With All the Cheesecakes, The
Phoebe's former boyfriend returns for one night only, but Joey could ruin their plans. Monica plots revenge on her cousin's wedding day.
TV-PG
6:00 pm
Seinfeld
Jimmy, The
Jerry suspects his dentist and hygienist are living out their fantasies at his expense.
TV-PG
6:30 pm
Seinfeld
Doodle, The
Fleas force Jerry and his parents out of his apartment; guest Christa Miller.
TV-PG
7:00 pm
Seinfeld
Fusilli Jerry, The
A mechanic pal (Patrick Warburton) uses Jerry's romantic techniques on Elaine.
TV-PG
7:30 pm
Seinfeld
Diplomat's Club, The
Kramer woos a rich Texan in hopes she will finance his women's fashion line; guests Debra Jo Rupp, Kim Zimmer.
TV-PG
8:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Hofstadter Insufficiency, The
In the Season 7 premiere, Leonard is away at sea, so Sheldon & Penny spend some time together and spill some revealing secrets. Meanwhile, Howard comes to Raj's aid after his breakup with his girlfriend.
TV-PG
8:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Deception Verification, The
Leonard returns from the North Sea expedition and finds things chilly between him and Sheldon, while Howard's relationship with his mother opens the door to questions about his masculinity.
TV-14
9:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Scavenger Vortex, The
Raj puts together a scavenger hunt that turns into serious, cutthroat competition among the gang.
TV-PG
9:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Raiders Minimization, The
Sheldon is fit to be tied when Amy ruins one of his favorite adventure films, while Leonard finds the key to getting Penny to do his bidding, and Raj & Stuart get creative with their online-dating profiles.
10:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Workplace Proximity, The
Amy takes a job at Sheldon's university, putting their relationship to the test.
TV-PG
10:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Proton Displacement, The
When Sheldon's childhood hero, Professor Proton (Bob Newhart), seeks Leonard's help with an experiment, the slighted Sheldon goes nuclear and decides to get revenge by befriending another TV science guy, Bill Nye.
TV-PG
11:00 pm
Conan (CC)
Episode 5645
Guests: Dr. Phil, Joshua Jackson, PHOX.
TV-14
12:00 am
Cougar Town (SAP)
Blue Sunday
It's the first week of marriage for Grayson and Jules, but when Grayson doesn't know the rules, he soon becomes Jules' "coffee and wine bitch." After Travis' 21st birthday, Bobby tries to make up for lost time by teaching him lessons about being a man. And Ellie and Laurie try to pull Jules out of her depression when Grayson refuses to apologize for what he did in her dream.
TV-14
12:30 am
Conan (CC)
Episode 5645
Guests: Dr. Phil, Joshua Jackson, PHOX.
TV-14
1:30 am
Cougar Town (SAP)
I Need to Know
Jules releases Travis from mandatory family night, but when he stays away too long, she becomes crazed. Ellie discovers she can get Andy to do anything she wants by training him like a dog. And the guys grow mustaches to look cool like Tom Selleck
TV-14
2:00 am
Movie
Scary Movie 3 (TV-PG-DLSV)
3:45 am
TBS Network Preview
Episode 1
A backstage peek at TBS's original programs.
4:00 am
Married With Children
Al Loses His Cherry
An argument leads Al to Luke's bachelor pad, where he basks in the swingers life he had envisioned.
TV-PG
4:30 am
Married With Children
Peggy Sue Got Work
When Peggy asks Al for a VCR, Marcy suggests that she go to work and earn the money herself where she learns what having a job is all about...minimum wage.
TV-PG
5:00 am
Married With Children
Married ... Without Children
Al and Peg run away for the weekend and leave Bud and Kelly with the Rhoades, who've underestimated their intelligence.
TV-PG
5:30 am
Married With Children
Poker Game, The
Steve loses his paycheck in a poker game to Al and needs to get it back before Marcy finds out.
TV-PG
 

Wednesday, November 5

6:00 am
Full House
Too Much Monkey Business
Danny's sister Wendy comes to town with her pet chimpanzee to interview for a job at the local zoo. The chimpanzee wreaks havoc and develops a liking for Jesse--as Joey and Wendy start their own romance.
TV-G
6:30 am
Rules of Engagement
Hard Day's Night
TV-PG
7:00 am
Married With Children
Where's the Boss?
Al can't seem to find Gary anywhere, which leads him to the conclusion that she's dead. He decides to go find another job.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Married With Children
Nightmare on Al's Street
Marcy has dreams about Al while Steve is on a business trip, leading her to ask Peggy for help.
TV-PG
8:00 am
King of Queens, The
Patrons Ain't
When their accountant makes them feel guilty about their lack of charitable donations, Doug and Carrie decide to make a large donation to a school library.
TV-PG
8:30 am
King of Queens, The
Bun Dummy
Doug tries to find a tactful way of telling Carrie he does not like her new hairstyle.
TV-PG
9:00 am
Movie
Spy Next Door, The
Bob Ho is an undercover CIA superspy who decides to give up his career in espionage to settle down with his next-door neighbor and girlfriend, Gillian. But Bob has one more mission to complete before Gillian agrees to marry him--winning over her three opinionated kids. When Gillian suddenly has to leave town, Bob volunteers to babysit the children so he can earn their approval. But when one of the kids mistakenly downloads a top-secret formula from his computer, Bob''s archenemy, a Russian terrorist, moves in for the attack, forcing Bob to juggle the roles of spy and prospective stepfather in the most challenging mission of his career.
TV-PG
11:00 am
America's Funniest Home Videos
AFHV #2113
Guest appearances by the canine stars of "Beverly Hills Chihuahua 2"
TV-G
12:00 pm
Cleveland Show, The
Another Bad Thanksgiving
Donna's sister abandons her two children during the Thanksgiving holiday so she and Holt can run off to Las Vegas.
TV-14
12:30 pm
Cleveland Show, The
Murray Christmas
During the Christmas holiday, Cleveland inadvertently gives his father a heart attack; Rallo makes friends with a Jewish man who lives at a retirement home.
TV-14
1:00 pm
American Dad
Buck, Wild
TV-14
1:30 pm
American Dad
Crotchwalkers
In a desperate attempt to show Steve that she's still a "cool" mom, Francine teaches him a vast array of shoplifting techniques to try out at the local mall. When their attempt to pull off the ultimate heist at "The Gash" goes awry, Steve is captured and sent to a Venezuelan sweatshop. Meanwhile, Roger, Hayley and Klaus form Langley Falls' first Russian Balalaika trio.
TV-14
2:00 pm
American Dad
Kung Pao Turkey
Stan's plans for a perfect Thanksgiving watching football in his underwear are thwarted when Francine invites her adoptive parents to join them for the holiday. Meanwhile, Francine's mom encourages Hayley to get back on the dating scene and invites an eligible bachelor over, but her true intentions are revealed at Thanksgiving dinner.
TV-14
2:30 pm
American Dad
Independent Movie
Snot's father dies but Snot refuses to go to the funeral. Steve convinces Snot to take a road trip across the country to attend. Along the way the boys experience life as an independent movie, complete with strange characters and moments of raw emotion.
TV-14
3:00 pm
Robot Chicken
Executed by the State
Season Six flies in with a brand spankin' new opening credit sequence! The Robot Chicken writers put G.I. Joe up to his biggest challenge yet; Find out what being a vegetarian is really all about; the creators answer the questions surrounding Starbucks famous logo; We see the next Hollywood blockbuster as Orville Redenbacher stars in Children of the Popcorn.
TV-14
3:15 pm
Robot Chicken
Crushed by a Steamroller on My 53rd Birthday
See how the writers imagine what goes on after an Alvin and the Chipmunks concert; Mary Poppins is the kind of nanny we'd love to have around; We discover why B.A. Baracus hates flying so much; The creators put G.I. Joe in a real war situation in Afghanistan.
TV-14
3:30 pm
Robot Chicken
Celebrity Rocket
Mexico builds its greatest hero in The Six Million Peso Man. That old dancing guy from the Six Flags commercials saves-and ruins-the day. Two aliens from Space Invaders revolt. A cleaning woman finds the Batcave the hard way. Lindsay Lohan enters the world of Highlander and battles teen starlet foes.
TV-14
3:45 pm
Robot Chicken
Dragon Nuts
People of all ages love the new toy, Morning Wood! A man's groin is possessed in Idle Nuts. Live in fear when a giant midget attacks! A cleaning woman finds the Batcave the hard way. Atreyu and Falcor kick off a Neverending Party! An evening news broadcast spins out of control.
TV-14
4:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where They're Up All Night, The
Monica falls asleep during sex. Rachel argues with Tag (EDDIE CAHILL). Ross and Joey get stranded on the roof.
TV-PG
4:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where Rosita Dies, The
Phoebe becomes involved with a suicidal office worker (JASON ALEXANDER). Rachel breaks Joey's favorite chair. Monica's beloved childhood belongings are destroyed.
TV-PG
5:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where They All Turn Thirty, The
Rachel's 30th birthday prompts the friends to reminisce about their own 30th birthdays.
TV-PG
5:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With Joey's New Brain, The
Joey's character on a daytime drama becomes more prominent to the chagrin of the show's diva star (SUSAN SARANDON). Phoebe and Rachel argue over who should return a sexy man's misplaced cell phone to him.
TV-PG
6:00 pm
Seinfeld
Understudy, The
George is suspected of injuring Bette Midler in a softball game.
TV-PG
6:30 pm
Seinfeld
Face Painter, The
Elaine's boyfriend's behavior at a hockey game appalls her and Jerry.
TV-PG
7:00 pm
Seinfeld
Highlights of a Hundred (Part I)
Jerry Seinfeld presents highlights from the series' first 100 episodes.
TV-PG
7:30 pm
Seinfeld
Highlights of a Hundred (Part 2)
Jerry Seinfeld presents highlights from the series' first 100 episodes.
TV-PG
8:00 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Barely Legal
Meg cannot find a date for the junior prom, so Brian goes with her.
TV-14
8:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Road to Rupert
Brian accidentally sells Stewie's beloved teddy bear, Rupert; Meg must drive Peter around after he loses his license.
TV-14
9:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Itchy Brain Simulation, The
Leonard fails to stop Sheldon from overreacting after a past slight comes to light, and as punishment Leonard must walk a mile in Sheldon's shoes. Meanwhile, Penny has a run-in with Raj's former girlfriend Lucy.
TV-PG
9:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Discovery Dissipation, The
When Sheldon's accidental scientific discovery is disproved, Amy and Leonard try to help him deal with the shame and the disappointment. Meanwhile, Howard and Bernadette open their home to Raj for a week.
TV-PG
10:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Hesitation Ramification, The
Penny turns to Leonard for comfort after her guest appearance on NCIS does not turn out well. She ends up putting Leonard on the spot regarding their relationship. Sheldon works on his sense of humor and Raj practices talking to girls.
TV-PG
10:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Occupation Recalibration, The
There's impactful news on the work front as Penny makes a big step toward pursuing a full-time acting career, and Sheldon is forced to take a vacation.
TV-PG
11:00 pm
Conan (CC)
Episode 5646
Guests: Howie Mandel, Deepak Chopra, Bleachers.
TV-14
12:00 am
Cougar Town (SAP)
Between Two Worlds
Jules begins to worry that her marriage to Grayson lacks passion. But when she enlists Ellie to start a verbal firestorm, things quickly get too heated. Laurie helps Travis find his superpower. And Bobby tries to shake things up by taking on a 'cooler' persona.
TV-14
12:30 am
Conan (CC)
Episode 5646
Guests: Howie Mandel, Deepak Chopra, Bleachers.
TV-14
1:30 am
Cougar Town (SAP)
I Should Have Known It
When Tom gets a new girlfriend (guest star Ali Wentworth), the girls decide to investigate. Bobby goes on a fake date with Ellie to improve his table manners. And after getting fed up with the girls' rules, Andy and Grayson rebel.
TV-14
2:00 am
Movie
Spy Next Door, The
Bob Ho is an undercover CIA superspy who decides to give up his career in espionage to settle down with his next-door neighbor and girlfriend, Gillian. But Bob has one more mission to complete before Gillian agrees to marry him--winning over her three opinionated kids. When Gillian suddenly has to leave town, Bob volunteers to babysit the children so he can earn their approval. But when one of the kids mistakenly downloads a top-secret formula from his computer, Bob''s archenemy, a Russian terrorist, moves in for the attack, forcing Bob to juggle the roles of spy and prospective stepfather in the most challenging mission of his career.
TV-PG
4:00 am
Married With Children
Johnny B. Gone
Al and Peggy have tickets to attend the final night of their favorite hamburger joint. But when family problems get in the way, Al may miss out on the historical night.
TV-PG
4:30 am
Married With Children
Buck Can Do It
Buck mates another dog, making the owner of the dog so angry that he sues Al.
TV-PG
5:00 am
Married With Children
Poppy's By the Tree (1)
The Bundys are at a hotel in Florida, only to find that an ax murderer lives there.
TV-PG
5:30 am
Married With Children
Poppy's By the Tree (2)
Peg gets kidnapped! Can Al get her back
TV-PG
 

Thursday, November 6

6:00 am
Full House
Devil Made Me Do It, The
Michelle discusses her mischievousness with the "Good Michelle" and the "Bad Michelle" before she actually misbehaves. When "Bad Michelle" wins, trouble follows.
TV-G
6:30 am
Rules of Engagement
Jeff's Wooby
TV-PG
7:00 am
Married With Children
If I Were a Rich Man
Al and Steve find out about 1 million dollars missing from the bank and the other Bundys think they have it.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Married With Children
For Whom the Bell Tolls
The phone line to the Bundys get cut off after Al refuses to pay the bill.
TV-PG
8:00 am
King of Queens, The
Shrink Wrap
Carrie and Doug send Arthur to a psychiatrist (William Hurt), to whom he reveals his relationship with his father (Ben Stiller).
TV-PG
8:30 am
King of Queens, The
Eddie Money
Doug tries to keep secret from Carrie $5,000 he won in a gambling pool.
TV-PG
9:00 am
Movie
Norbit
Norbit has never had it easy. As a baby, he was abandoned on the steps of a Chinese restaurant/orphanage and raised by Mr. Wong. Things get worse when he''s forced into marriage by the mean, junk food-chugging queen, Rasputia. Just when Norbit''s hanging by his last thread, his childhood sweetheart, Kate, moves back to town.
TV-PG
11:00 am
America's Funniest Home Videos
AFHV #2114
Second $100,000 show of season 21
TV-G
12:00 pm
Cleveland Show, The
Beer Walk
Cleveland invites his friend from Quahog to participate in a charity beer walk; Rallo dresses up like characters from famous horror movies.
TV-14
12:30 pm
Cleveland Show, The
Ain't Nothin' But Mutton Bustin'
Cleveland and Rallo bond at a sheep-riding exhibit at a petting zoo, but Rallo is crushed when he finds out what happens to the animals when they can no longer be ridden.
TV-14
1:00 pm
American Dad
Faking Bad
When Hayley tries to go clubbing with her old friends she is turned away at the door because she doesn't have proper ID. Hayley convinces Steve to make a fake ID for her. The fake ID is so good that Hayley and Steve go into business together as counterfeiters.
TV-14
1:30 pm
American Dad
Minstrel Krampus
When Steve starts acting like a spoiled brat during the holidays, Stan takes him to see his incarcerated Grandpa Jack, who tells him the story of how he caught Minstrel Krampus, a legendary demon who punishes naughty children on Christmas. Stan decides that releasing Krampus is the only way to straighten out Steve's attitude. But when Krampus kidnaps Steve, it's up to Stan and Roger to get him back. Meanwhile, Hayley gets a job at the airport, but quickly realizes that she might not be cut out for customer service.
TV-14
2:00 pm
American Dad
Vision: Impossible
Roger gets into a serious car accident and wakes up from his coma to discover that he now has the ability to see the future. He uses this ability to rescue the Smith family from dangerous situations.
TV-14
2:30 pm
American Dad
Familyland
The Smith family goes to the theme park "Familyland" for vacation. Francine wants the family to spend the day together, but the individual members go their separate ways. Francine cries in front of a statue of the park's founder, Roy Family, and awakens Roy from a deep slumber.
TV-14
3:00 pm
Robot Chicken
Punctured Jugular
Robot Chicken pitches The Fast and the Furious 6; We see Wilson from Cast Away in a Bourne Identity-type role; We find out what Odd Job does on his day off; The writers dream how different Scooby-Doo would be if Lisbeth Salander joined them.
TV-14
3:15 pm
Robot Chicken
Poisoned by Relatives
TV-MA
3:30 pm
Robot Chicken
Rodiggity
Southern-fried funerals get exciting thanks to Dixie Joe! The Booger Man makes a mess. Frankenstein's in-laws are less than pleased. Order your movie tickets from Fan-Dingo--the paper bags want you to. The cast of Final Fantasy VII get jobs at a burger chain. A young soccer player named Ricky faces life's obstacles. Bugs Bunny goes hip-hop in 8 Carrot.
TV-14
3:45 pm
Robot Chicken
password: Swordfish
Care Bears care a lot-about ethnic cleansing. See the action-packed story of Heimlich and his quest to unblock your windpipe. Rick Schroeder is fighting crime in style in the new hit series Rick Shaw. Ben Affleck sues the AFLAC duck. Corporate disputes get solved hand-to-hand in Office Fighter. Harry Potter uses magic to fight... puberty!
TV-14
4:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With the Truth About London, The
Chandler finds out who Monica really wanted to have sex with on the night they became lovers. Ross is furious after Rachel teaches Ben (COLE MITCHELL SPROUSE) practical jokes.
TV-PG
4:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With the Cheap Wedding Dress, The
Monica battles another shopper for the perfect wedding dress. Ross and Joey compete for the same woman.
TV-PG
5:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With Joey's Award, The
Joey overreacts at a daytime drama awards show. Daytime drama actresses McKENZIE WESTMORE and ALISON SWEENEY guest star.
TV-PG
5:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With Ross & Monica's Cousin, The
Monica's gorgeous cousin (DENISE RICHARDS) unwittingly wreaks havoc on Chandler and Ross. Rachel and Phoebe hastily plan a surprise bridal party for Monica.
TV-PG
6:00 pm
Seinfeld
Engagement, The
In an effort to grow up, George proposes marriage to former girlfriend Susan.
TV-PG
6:30 pm
Seinfeld
Postponement, The
Feeling overwhelmed, George wants to postpone marrying Susan.
TV-PG
7:00 pm
Seinfeld
Maestro, The
Elaine's boyfriend's comments on villas in Tuscany stirs Jerry's curiosity.
TV-PG
7:30 pm
Seinfeld
Wink, The
An uncontrollable wink creates problems for George and Kramer.
TV-PG
8:00 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Peter's Two Dads
After Peter's dad dies, he finds out that his real father lives in Ireland; Stewie realizes that he likes when Lois spanks him, so he purposely gets into trouble.
TV-14
8:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Tan Aquatic with Steve Zissou, The
Peter beats up a bully who harasses Chris; Stewie obsesses over getting a tan then fears he has cancer after spending too much time in a tanning booth.
TV-14
9:00 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Airport '07
Peter causes Quagmire to lose his job as a pilot; Hugh Hefner gives Quagmire advice, which leads him to save the day.
TV-14
9:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Convention Conundrum, The
Unable to score tickets for Comic-Con, Sheldon decides to stage his own comic-book convention, while the ladies attempt to act like "grown ups".
TV-PG
10:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Friendship Turbulence, The
Things turn rocky between Sheldon and Wolowitz after a barrage of insults, and Bernadette steps in to mediate a peace. Meanwhile, Penny is offered a movie role that may prove embarrassing.
TV-PG
10:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Mommy Observation, The
While Sheldon and Howard continue their bonding holiday to Houston Texas; Sheldon's surprise visit to see his Mommy forces him to start addressing a new reality. Meanwhile the rest of the gang are subjected to a surprise Koothrappali "Murder Mystery" party that leads the gang to speculate where they might all be 20 years from now.
TV-PG
11:00 pm
Conan (CC)
Episode 5647
Guests: Daniel Radcliffe, Andrea Martin, The Flaming Lips.
TV-14
12:00 am
Cougar Town (SAP)
Runnin' Down a Dream
Jules decides that her heart is no longer in the real estate business. Meanwhile, Bobby discovers his dream job selling premade burgers from a truck. Unfortunately Bobby's Burger Truck proves the perfect opportunity for Ellie to be rude to strangers.
TV-14
12:30 am
Conan (CC)
Episode 5647
Guests: Daniel Radcliffe, Andrea Martin, The Flaming Lips.
TV-14
1:30 am
Office, The (SAP)
Secret Santa
Andy's Twelve Days of Christmas-themed Secret Santa gifts to Erin do more harm than good. Dwight and Jim hope to infuse the staff with holiday spirit, but Jim's decision to let Phyllis play Santa at the Dunder Mifflin Christmas party ires Michael. A new warehouse worker catches Oscar's eye.
TV-PG
2:00 am
Movie
Norbit
Norbit has never had it easy. As a baby, he was abandoned on the steps of a Chinese restaurant/orphanage and raised by Mr. Wong. Things get worse when he''s forced into marriage by the mean, junk food-chugging queen, Rasputia. Just when Norbit''s hanging by his last thread, his childhood sweetheart, Kate, moves back to town.
TV-PG
4:00 am
Married With Children
Girls Just Wanna Have Fun (1)
Marcy and Peggy go to a strip club, but Marcy ends up losing her ring in a very uncomfortable space...
TV-PG
4:30 am
Married With Children
Girls Just Wanna Have Fun (2)
The men take action over Peg and Marcy, just to make them feel bad about what happened.
TV-PG
5:00 am
Married With Children
Born to Walk
Al needs to renew his license, but fails the test. Kelly, on the other hand, gets her license on the same day.
TV-PG
5:30 am
Married With Children
Alley of the Dolls
When Peggy's old high school rival challenges her to a family bowl-off, Peggy is determined to win - with the help of an "adopted" Bundy, ringer Steve Rhoades.
TV-PG
 

Friday, November 7

6:00 am
Full House
Driving Miss D.J.
D.J. receives her learner's permit to drive, but Danny is too nervous to be a good instructor. Jesse volunteers to take over, but after D.J. scratches his car, he too, hesitates to teach her.
TV-G
6:30 am
Rules of Engagement
Flirting with Disaster
TV-PG
7:00 am
Married With Children
Razor's Edge, The
When Steve returns from a river rafting trip, Marcy refuses to let him back into the house until he shaves his newly-grown beard, and he's forced to seek refuge with the Bundys.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Married With Children
How Do You Spell Revenge?
Al is too busy scheming to get Peggy thrown off their neighbor-hood baseball team to notice that Kelly is about to be tattooed with the name of her latest boyfriend.
TV-PG
8:00 am
King of Queens, The
Two Thirty
When Doug goes to Dr. Farber (Tim Matheson) for a root canal, he finds out Carrie used have a major crush on the dentist.
TV-PG
8:30 am
King of Queens, The
Window Pain
Carrie becomes obsessed with trying to impress the neighbors.
TV-PG
9:00 am
Movie
Disturbia
Kale has a life most teenagers would envy. He spends his days endlessly playing video games, surfing the net, eating junk food and watching cable. He has complete free reign of the house, and a beautiful young hottie named Ashley has just moved in next door. There's only one problem--he's not allowed to leave the house. Kale's under court-ordered house arrest for three months, and if he takes one step beyond a 100-foot perimeter of the house, his next confinement will be in a real prison. And jail cells don't have video games or cable. Life hasn't always been like this for him. A year ago, Kale and his mom and dad were a tight knit, happy family. Then his father was killed in a car accident, for which Kale feels somewhat responsible. The trauma has had long-lasting psychological effects. The once outgoing young man is now shut down and withdrawn. When an insensitive teacher brings up his father, Kale loses it and punches him out. Only the intercession of his mother kept him out of jail. Now he's going stir crazy in his own house while his mother tries to keep things together by working day and night. As the walls start to close in, Kale starts to notice the world outside. With some secondhand surveillance equipment he begins spying on his neighbors, most prominently Ashley, who soon catches on to him. To his surprise however, she becomes interested in his stakeout hobby. What starts out as a game turns deadly serious when Kale and Ashley begin to suspect that one of their neighbors may be an elusive serial killer. But who's going to believe them? It may just be their overactive imagination. Or they may have stumbled across a secret that might cost them their lives. After all, even killers have to live next-door to someone...
TV-14
11:00 am
America's Funniest Home Videos
AFHV #2115
Angry animals and lazy dogs
TV-G
12:00 pm
Cleveland Show, The
How Do You Solve a Problem Like Roberta?
Donna puts Cleveland's parenting skills to the test by leaving him alone with Roberta for a weekend; Rallo thinks he's invisible.
TV-14
12:30 pm
Cleveland Show, The
Like a Boss
Cleveland attempts to sabotage Tim after he gets a promotion at Waterman Cable; Rallo tricks Junior into thinking his pet turtle talks.
TV-14
1:00 pm
American Dad
Cock of the Sleepwalk
Stan celebrates his one hundredth kill for the C.I.A and says his success as an assassin comes from him not having a conscience. The night of the celebration Stan sleepwalks and performs good deeds for his family. Upon waking up, Stan is shocked to learn that his conscience is taking control of his body.
TV-14
1:30 pm
American Dad
Introducing the Naughty Stewardesses
Stan takes Francine on a surprise trip to Sacramento, but Francine is bored. They meet the Naughty Stewardesses, four women who use their status as flight attendants to find love and adventure.
TV-14
2:00 pm
American Dad
I Ain't No Holodeck Boy
Stan thinks that Steve and his friends spend too much time indoors playing video games. He wishes that the boys would go outside and have the kind of adventures in the woods that he had as a child. When Stan learns that the C.I.A. has a hologram deck that can simulate real environments, he drugs the boys and places them inside, making them think they have been left in the woods.
TV-14
2:30 pm
American Dad
Stan Goes on the Pill
Francine is frustrated that Stan only pretends to pay attention when she talks. Stan takes a pill engineered by the C.I.A. to help male agents listen to females. Stan takes too much and the pill physically transforms him into a woman.
TV-14
3:00 pm
Robot Chicken
Disemboweled by an Orphan
Our demented minds see Gadget from Chip 'n Dale in a brand new way; The writers imagine what could happen if Frosty's hat landed on a few other things; We always loved Master of the Universe so we show two Eternia sightseers getting caught up in a battle between He-Man and Skeletor.
TV-14
3:15 pm
Robot Chicken
Hurtled from a Helicopter into a Speeding Train
TV-14
3:30 pm
Robot Chicken
Metal Militia
Young Young Indiana Jones finds treasure at his elementary school. Rainbow Brite reveals her dark side. Montezuma gets his revenge, and the results smell terrible. Malibu Barbie learns why you don't build your Dream House in Malibu. Rom: Spaceknight meets his ultimate nemesis! Into the Blue gets a relevant skewering. Hulk Hogan busts out of prison camp in Hogan's Heroes.
TV-14
3:45 pm
Robot Chicken
Veggies for Sloth
The classic movie Beastmaster takes Broadway by storm. Mrs. McNallys third-graders present: Tim Burtons The Corpse Bride. Lance Armstrong gets revenge on France. Thrill to the Worlds Most Creative Suicides! Buck Rogers learns what his name rhymes with. A stupid guy learns hes a vampire, and thinks it rocks. The gang from Archie Comics learns that nobody cheats Death for long!
TV-14
4:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With Rachel's Big Kiss, The
Rachel reveals a titillating secret about her and a former sorority sister (WINONA RYDER). Ross and Chandler compete for wedding tuxedos.
TV-PG
4:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With the Vows, The
As Monica and Chandler prepare their wedding vows, they and their friends reminisce. The episode features numerous clips from previous shows.
TV-PG
5:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With Monica & Chandler's Wedding (Part 1), The
On the eve of the wedding, Ross searches for missing Chandler, who has doubts, while the girls distract unsuspecting Monica.
TV-PG
5:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With Monica & Chandler's Wedding (Part 2), The
Monica remains blissfully unaware of the potential disasters on her wedding day. ELLIOTT GOULD, CHRISTINA PICKLES, MORGAN FAIRCHILD, GARY OLDMAN and KATHLEEN TURNER guest star.
TV-PG
6:00 pm
Seinfeld
Soup Nazi, The
Jerry's favorite soup vendor won't serve his new girlfriend (Alexandra Wentworth).
TV-PG
6:30 pm
Seinfeld
Secret Code, The
George conceals his ATM code from fiancee Susan; guest John O'Hurley.
TV-PG
7:00 pm
Seinfeld
Pool Guy, The
The pool man at Jerry's health club wants to be his best friend.
TV-PG
7:30 pm
Seinfeld
Sponge, The
Elaine considers intimacy with her new boyfriend (Scott Patterson).
TV-PG
8:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Indecision Amalgamation, The
Raj wrestles with dating two women at the same time; Penny is offered a part in a trashy movie; and Sheldon can't decide between two gaming systems.
TV-PG
8:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Relationship Diremption, The
Raj and Howard double-date and the latter is flushed with embarrassment after Raj's girlfriend reveals a secret she knows about Howard. Meanwhile, Sheldon is at loose ends when he begins to believe he's wasted his life trying to prove string theory.
TV-PG
9:00 pm
Deal With It
Jerry O'Connell & Jeannie Mai
WINE TASTING: After a contestant hijacks a wine-tasting seminar and chugs from a $3,000 bottle of wine, her friend might just want a drink of her own. Co-host: Jeannie Mai. THE WILL: A contestant's daughter is having the worst day of her life after her father informs her she's out of his will. The icing on the cake He's letting his sexy new attorney handle the money. Co-host: Jerry O'Connell.
9:30 pm
Movie (DVS)
Hangover, The
Two days before his wedding, Doug and his three buddies drive to Vegas for a blow-out night they''ll never forget. But when the three groomsmen wake up the next morning with pounding headaches, they can''t remember a thing. Their posh hotel suite is beyond trashed and the groom is nowhere to be found. With no clue of what happened and little time to spare, the trio must attempt to retrace their bad decisions from the night before in order to figure out where things went wrong and hopefully get Doug back to L.A. in time for his wedding. However, the more they begin to uncover, the more they realize just how much trouble they''re really in.
TV-14
11:30 pm
Deal With It
Jerry O'Connell & Jeannie Mai
WINE TASTING: After a contestant hijacks a wine-tasting seminar and chugs from a $3,000 bottle of wine, her friend might just want a drink of her own. Co-host: Jeannie Mai. THE WILL: A contestant's daughter is having the worst day of her life after her father informs her she's out of his will. The icing on the cake He's letting his sexy new attorney handle the money. Co-host: Jerry O'Connell.
12:00 am
Movie (DVS)
Due Date
Peter Highman is an expectant first-time father whose wife''s due date is a mere five days away. As Peter hurries to catch a flight home from Atlanta to be at her side for the birth, his best intentions go completely awry when a chance encounter with aspiring actor Ethan Tremblay forces Peter to hitch a ride with Ethan--on what turns out to be a cross-country road trip that will ultimately destroy several cars, numerous friendships and Peter''s last nerve.
TV-14
2:00 am
Movie
Duplex
In terms of living the American Dream, Alex and Nancy have it pretty good. They are a young, vibrant couple in New York City with bright futures ahead of them. But one thing is missing: a home of their own. When they find one, it comes with one feature they didn't expect--an upstairs tenant, Mrs. Connelly, who lives in a rent-controlled apartment, and who isn't quite as easy-going or frail as Alex and Nancy originally anticipated. As their blissful life begins to seriously fray around the edges, their dream home rapidly turns into a nightmare and they decide that they must get Mrs. Connelly out of their lives.
TV-14
4:00 am
Married With Children
Earth Angel
When Bud brings a beautiful, homeless young woman to stay with the Bundys, Al and the rest of the neighborhood guys begin acting like sex-crazed teenagers.
TV-PG
4:30 am
Married With Children
You Better Watch Out
TV-PG
5:00 am
Married With Children
Guys and Dolls
When Al and Steve become obsessed with collecting baseball cards, Peggy and Marcy dig out their old Barbie dolls and re-live their childhood fantasies.
TV-PG
5:30 am
Married With Children
Build a Better Mousetrap
Al and Steve stare danger in the face when they decide to exterminate a pesky field mouse without the aid of professional help.
TV-PG
 

Saturday, November 8

6:00 am
Married With Children
Master the Possibilities
When Buck, the Bundy family pooch, mistakenly receives a credit card in his name, Al and Peg decide to sample "the good life" and embark on a wild spending spree.
TV-PG
6:30 am
Married With Children
Peggy Loves Al, Yeah, Yeah, Yeah
All Peggy wants for Valentine's Day is to hear unromantic Al utter those three little words - I love you.
TV-PG
7:00 am
Married With Children
Great Escape, The
When the Bundy family spends the night in Al's shoe store while their house is being exterminated, Kelly is forced to be especially creative in slipping out for the night.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Married With Children
Impo-Dent
When Marcy accidentally dents Steve's brand new Mercedes, she finds it affects more than just his performance on the road.
TV-PG
8:00 am
King of Queens, The
Arthur, Spooner
Team leader Carrie grows frustrated with her drab work group; Doug begins relying on Arthur's company in order to fall asleep.
TV-PG
8:30 am
King of Queens, The
Kirbed Enthusiasm
Doug agrees to try out for a semiprofessional football league if Kirby will stay with peewee football.
TV-PG
9:00 am
King of Queens, The
Holy Mackerel
When Carrie prays for a raise and actually gets one, she and Doug start praying for more things.
TV-PG
9:30 am
King of Queens, The
Jung Frankenstein
Carrie tries to coax Doug's therapist (Dave Foley) into targeting his bad habits.
TV-PG
10:00 am
Movie
Legally Blonde 2: Red, White & Blonde
Having conquered Harvard, Elle Woods, the blonde, effervescent, pink-loving law school grad, is now a rising young lawyer at a great firm, balancing a demanding a career with preparations for her wedding to the man of her dreams. But when she finds out that her beloved dog Bruiser's family members are being used as cosmetic test subjects by one of her firm's own clients, she stands up for their rights--and is promptly fired. She's devastated, but you can't keep an optimist down. Ms. Woods goes to Washington to take matters into her own French-manicured hands. Trying to learn the political ropes and win over politicians, Elle faces a formidable challenge--and in a sea of grey, black, and navy, she sticks out like a pink thumb. Others on The Hill aren't immediately kind to "Capitol Barbie" and D.C. isn't an easy place for a person with impeccable fashion sense and a Harvard Law degree. But with her clever and sassy signature blend of intelligence and determination, she bucks the system the Elle Woods way. Speaking up for Bruiser and his family, Elle eventually inspires those around her to find voices of their own.
TV-14
12:00 pm
Movie
Duplex
In terms of living the American Dream, Alex and Nancy have it pretty good. They are a young, vibrant couple in New York City with bright futures ahead of them. But one thing is missing: a home of their own. When they find one, it comes with one feature they didn't expect--an upstairs tenant, Mrs. Connelly, who lives in a rent-controlled apartment, and who isn't quite as easy-going or frail as Alex and Nancy originally anticipated. As their blissful life begins to seriously fray around the edges, their dream home rapidly turns into a nightmare and they decide that they must get Mrs. Connelly out of their lives.
TV-14
2:00 pm
Movie (DVS)
Due Date
Peter Highman is an expectant first-time father whose wife''s due date is a mere five days away. As Peter hurries to catch a flight home from Atlanta to be at her side for the birth, his best intentions go completely awry when a chance encounter with aspiring actor Ethan Tremblay forces Peter to hitch a ride with Ethan--on what turns out to be a cross-country road trip that will ultimately destroy several cars, numerous friendships and Peter''s last nerve.
TV-14
4:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With Chandler's Dad, The
Chandler confronts his estranged cross-dressing father (KATHLEEN TURNER). Rachel gets into trouble driving Monica's Porsche. ALEXIS ARQUETTE guest stars.
TV-PG
4:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One After "I Do", The
The reception following Monica and Chandler's wedding is almost upstaged by the news that a member of the group might be pregnant.
TV-PG
5:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With the Red Sweater, The
Rachel debates whether she should break the news to her baby's father.
TV-PG
5:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where Rachel Tells..., The
The real father of Rachel's baby is revealed; Monica and Chandler struggle to make their honeymoon flight.
TV-14
6:00 pm
Everybody Loves Raymond (SAP)
Six Feet Under
Ray has a midlife crisis; Frank sells Marie's burial plot for a profit.
TV-PG
6:30 pm
Everybody Loves Raymond (SAP)
Garage Sale, The
Ray is surprised to learn that Debra doesn't want more children.
TV-PG
7:00 pm
Everybody Loves Raymond (SAP)
Wedding (Part 1), The
Ray recalls his wedding day.
TV-PG
7:30 pm
Everybody Loves Raymond (SAP)
Wedding (Part 2), The
Ray recalls proposing to Debra and the elaborate plans for their wedding.
TV-PG
8:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Anything Can Happen Recurrence, The
Leonard reinstates "Anything Can Happen Thursday," and it leads the regimented Sheldon to attempt something spontaneous, which creates friction among Penny, Amy, and Bernadette. Meanwhile, Raj requests help from Howard in prepping for a date with Emily.
TV-PG
8:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Gorilla Dissolution, The
A trying day at the movie shoot leaves Penny with questions about her life choices, so she decides to act on it; and caring for a bedridden Mrs. Wolowitz proves a challenge for Howard and Bernadette.
TV-PG
9:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Status Quo Combustion, The
In the Season 7 finale, Sheldon gets caught up in all the life-altering changes going on around him and considers a monumental move.
TV-PG
9:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Pilot
In the Series opener, brilliant physicist roommates Leonard and Sheldon meet their new neighbor Penny, who begins showing them that as much as they know about science, they know little about actual living.
TV-14
10:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Big Bran Hypothesis, The
Leonard volunteers to sign for a package in an attempt to make a good impression on Penny, but when he enlists Sheldon for help, his attempt at chivalry goes terribly awry.
TV-PG
10:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Fuzzy Boots Corollary, The
Leonard asks a work colleague (Sara Gilbert) out after he finds out that Penny is seeing someone.
TV-PG
11:00 pm
Deal With It
Jerry O'Connell & Jeannie Mai
WINE TASTING: After a contestant hijacks a wine-tasting seminar and chugs from a $3,000 bottle of wine, her friend might just want a drink of her own. Co-host: Jeannie Mai. THE WILL: A contestant's daughter is having the worst day of her life after her father informs her she's out of his will. The icing on the cake He's letting his sexy new attorney handle the money. Co-host: Jerry O'Connell.
11:30 pm
Movie (DVS)
Change-Up, The
Growing up together, Mitch and Dave were inseparable best friends, but as the years have passed they've slowly drifted apart. While Dave is an overworked lawyer, husband and father of three, Mitch has remained a single, quasi-employed man-child who has never met a responsibility he liked. To Mitch, Dave has it all: beautiful wife Jamie, kids who adore him and a high-paying job at a prestigious law firm. To Dave, living Mitch's stress free life without obligation or consequence would be a dream come true. Following a drunken night out together, Mitch and Dave's worlds are turned upside down when they wake up in each other's bodies and proceed to freak out. Despite the freedom from their normal routines and habits, the guys soon discover that each other's lives are nowhere near as rosy as they once seemed. Further complicating matters are Dave's sexy legal associate, Sabrina, and Mitch's estranged father. With time not on their side, Mitch and Dave struggle to avoid completely destroying each other's lives before they can find a way to get their old ones back.
TV-14
1:30 am
Movie (DVS)
Definitely, Maybe
A thirtysomething Manhattan dad is in the midst of a divorce when his 10-year-old daughter, Maya, starts to question him about his life before marriage. Maya wants to know absolutely everything about how her parents met and fell in love: Will's story begins in 1992, as a young, starry-eyed aspiring politician who moves to New York from Wisconsin in order to work on the presidential campaign. For Maya, Will relives his past as an idealistic young man learning the 'ins' and 'outs' of big city politics, and recounts the history of his romantic relationships with three very different women. Will hopelessly attempts a gentler version of his story for his daughter, and changes the names so Maya has to guess who is the woman her father finally married. Is her mother Will's college sweetheart, the dependable girl next door Emily? Is she his longtime best friend and confidante, the apolitical April? Or is she the free-spirited but ambitious journalist Summer? As Maya puts together the pieces of her dad's romantic puzzle, she begins to understand that love is not so simple or easy. And as Will tells her his tale, Maya helps him to understand that it's definitely never too late to go back--and maybe even possible to find a happy ending.
TV-14
4:00 am
Married With Children
Just Married ... with Children
Peggy and Al masquerade as their newlywed neighbors, Steve and Marcy Rhoades, on the game show "How Do I Love Thee" - with shocking results.
TV-PG
4:30 am
Married With Children
Father Lode
Al finally comes into some money at the track, but hasn't time to enjoy his winnings - he's too busy hiding the loot from his family.
TV-PG
5:00 am
Married With Children
All in the Family
Al is less than thrilled when Peggy announces her family is coming for a visit - all six of them.
TV-PG
5:30 am
Married With Children
Camping Show (aka A Period Piece), The
Al and Steve's much-anticipated vacation in the great outdoors is ruined by female hormones and man-eating animals.
TV-PG
 

Sunday, November 9

6:00 am
Married With Children
He Thought He Could
When Al finds a library book that is 31 years overdue, he decides to finally face the librarian who once pegged him as a deadbeat.
TV-PG
6:30 am
King of Queens, The
Mammary Lane
Carrie baby-sits for the boss' son; Doug tries to make friends with the new shoe girl (Rachel Dratch) at the bowling alley.
TV-PG
7:00 am
King of Queens, The
Business Affairs
Doug gets jealous of Carrie's gay co-worker and worries about the strength of their marriage.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Friends (SAP)
One With the Videotape, The
Ross reveals that he videotaped a sexual encounter between Rachel and him.
TV-PG
8:00 am
Friends (SAP)
One With Rachel's Date, The
Ross is horrified when Rachel goes on a date with a soap-opera star (Johnny Messner); Phoebe is attracted to a clumsy chef whom Monica wants to fire.
TV-PG
8:30 am
Friends (SAP)
One With the Stain, The
Rachel wants to find her own apartment; Phoebe is ecstatic when Eric (Sean Penn) dumps Ursula to date her.
TV-PG
9:00 am
Friends (SAP)
One With the Stripper, The
Rachel tells her belligerent father (Ron Leibman) that she is pregnant with Ross' child.
TV-PG
9:30 am
Movie (DVS)
Definitely, Maybe
A thirtysomething Manhattan dad is in the midst of a divorce when his 10-year-old daughter, Maya, starts to question him about his life before marriage. Maya wants to know absolutely everything about how her parents met and fell in love: Will's story begins in 1992, as a young, starry-eyed aspiring politician who moves to New York from Wisconsin in order to work on the presidential campaign. For Maya, Will relives his past as an idealistic young man learning the 'ins' and 'outs' of big city politics, and recounts the history of his romantic relationships with three very different women. Will hopelessly attempts a gentler version of his story for his daughter, and changes the names so Maya has to guess who is the woman her father finally married. Is her mother Will's college sweetheart, the dependable girl next door Emily? Is she his longtime best friend and confidante, the apolitical April? Or is she the free-spirited but ambitious journalist Summer? As Maya puts together the pieces of her dad's romantic puzzle, she begins to understand that love is not so simple or easy. And as Will tells her his tale, Maya helps him to understand that it's definitely never too late to go back--and maybe even possible to find a happy ending.
TV-14
12:00 pm
Movie (DVS)
Ghosts of Girlfriends Past
Celebrity photographer Connor Mead loves freedom, fun and women - in that order. A committed bachelor with a no-strings policy, he thinks nothing of breaking up with multiple women on a conference call while prepping his next date. Connor''s brother Paul is more the romantic type. In fact, he''s about to be married. Unfortunately, on the eve of the big event, Connor''s mockery of romance proves a real buzz-kill for Paul, the wedding party and a houseful of well wishers - including Connor''s childhood friend Jenny, the one woman in his life who has always seemed immune to his considerable charm. Just when it looks like Connor may single-handedly ruin the wedding, he gets a wake-up call from the ghost of his late Uncle Wayne, the hard-partying, legendary ladies man upon whose exploits Connor has modeled his lifestyle. Uncle Wayne has an urgent message for his protege, which he delivers through the ghosts of Connor''s jilted girlfriends - past, present and future - who take him on a revealing and hilarious odyssey through a lifetime of failed relationships. Together, they will discover what turned Connor into such a shameless player and whether he has a second chance to find - and this time, keep - the love of his life.
TV-14
2:00 pm
Movie
House Bunny, The
Shelley Darlington, a Playboy Bunny, is living a carefree life until a rival gets her tossed out of the Playboy Mansion. With nowhere to go, fate delivers her to the sorority girls from Zeta Alpha Zeta. Unless they can sign a new pledge class, the seven socially clueless women will lose their house to the scheming girls of Phi Iota Mu. In order to accomplish their goal, they need Shelley to teach them the ways of makeup and men; at the same time, Shelley needs some of what the Zetas have--a sense of individuality. The combination leads all the girls to learn how to stop pretending and start being themselves.
TV-14
4:00 pm
Movie (DVS)
Change-Up, The
Growing up together, Mitch and Dave were inseparable best friends, but as the years have passed they've slowly drifted apart. While Dave is an overworked lawyer, husband and father of three, Mitch has remained a single, quasi-employed man-child who has never met a responsibility he liked. To Mitch, Dave has it all: beautiful wife Jamie, kids who adore him and a high-paying job at a prestigious law firm. To Dave, living Mitch's stress free life without obligation or consequence would be a dream come true. Following a drunken night out together, Mitch and Dave's worlds are turned upside down when they wake up in each other's bodies and proceed to freak out. Despite the freedom from their normal routines and habits, the guys soon discover that each other's lives are nowhere near as rosy as they once seemed. Further complicating matters are Dave's sexy legal associate, Sabrina, and Mitch's estranged father. With time not on their side, Mitch and Dave struggle to avoid completely destroying each other's lives before they can find a way to get their old ones back.
TV-14
6:00 pm
Movie (DVS)
Knocked Up
Alison Scott is an up-and-coming entertainment journalist whose 24-year-old life is on the fast track. But it gets seriously derailed when a drunken one-nighter with slacker Ben Stone results in an unwanted pregnancy. Faced with the prospect of going it alone or getting to know the baby's father, Alison decides to give the lovable doof a chance. An overgrown kid who has no desire to settle down, Ben learns that he has a big decision to make with his kid's mom-to-be: will he hit the road or stay in the picture! Courting a woman you've just knocked up, however, proves to be a little difficult when the two try their hands at dating. As they discover more about one another, it becomes painfully obvious that they're not the soul mates they'd hoped they might be. With Alison's harried sister Debbie and hen-pecked brother-in-law Pete the only parenting role models the young lovers have, things get even more confusing. Should they raise the baby together? What makes a happy lifetime partnership after all? A couple of drinks and a wild night later, they've got nine confusing months to figure it out.
TV-14
8:00 pm
Movie Encore (DVS)
Bad Teacher
Elizabeth Halsey is a foulmouthed, ruthless, and inappropriate teacher. She drinks, gets high, and can't wait to marry a meal ticket to get out of her bogus day job. When she's dumped by her fiancÚ, she sets her sights on a rich, handsome substitute while shrugging off the advances of the school gym teacher. The consequences of her wild and outrageous schemes give her students, coworkers, and even herself an education like no other.
TV-14
10:00 pm
Movie Encore (DVS)
Bad Teacher
Elizabeth Halsey is a foulmouthed, ruthless, and inappropriate teacher. She drinks, gets high, and can't wait to marry a meal ticket to get out of her bogus day job. When she's dumped by her fiancÚ, she sets her sights on a rich, handsome substitute while shrugging off the advances of the school gym teacher. The consequences of her wild and outrageous schemes give her students, coworkers, and even herself an education like no other.
TV-14
12:00 am
Movie (DVS)
Knocked Up
Alison Scott is an up-and-coming entertainment journalist whose 24-year-old life is on the fast track. But it gets seriously derailed when a drunken one-nighter with slacker Ben Stone results in an unwanted pregnancy. Faced with the prospect of going it alone or getting to know the baby's father, Alison decides to give the lovable doof a chance. An overgrown kid who has no desire to settle down, Ben learns that he has a big decision to make with his kid's mom-to-be: will he hit the road or stay in the picture! Courting a woman you've just knocked up, however, proves to be a little difficult when the two try their hands at dating. As they discover more about one another, it becomes painfully obvious that they're not the soul mates they'd hoped they might be. With Alison's harried sister Debbie and hen-pecked brother-in-law Pete the only parenting role models the young lovers have, things get even more confusing. Should they raise the baby together? What makes a happy lifetime partnership after all? A couple of drinks and a wild night later, they've got nine confusing months to figure it out.
TV-14
2:30 am
Movie
House Bunny, The
Shelley Darlington, a Playboy Bunny, is living a carefree life until a rival gets her tossed out of the Playboy Mansion. With nowhere to go, fate delivers her to the sorority girls from Zeta Alpha Zeta. Unless they can sign a new pledge class, the seven socially clueless women will lose their house to the scheming girls of Phi Iota Mu. In order to accomplish their goal, they need Shelley to teach them the ways of makeup and men; at the same time, Shelley needs some of what the Zetas have--a sense of individuality. The combination leads all the girls to learn how to stop pretending and start being themselves.
TV-14
4:30 am
Married With Children
I'm Going to Sweatland
Al is up to his armpits in rock `n' roll fanatics after Peggy "sees" an image of her idol in the sweat stains on one of Al's tee-shirts.
TV-PG
5:00 am
Married With Children
Poke High (aka The Red Grange Story)
While Kelly tries to score with a high school fullback, Al roots for the opposing team in hopes his old school record will remain intact.
TV-PG
5:30 am
Married With Children
Dump of My Own, A
Al sets out to fulfill a lifelong dream when he begins construction on his very own bathroom, equipped with the legendary Ferguson Toilet.
TV-PG
 

Monday, November 10

6:00 am
Full House
Yours, Mine and Ours
Danny's plans for a fun night out with the family are doomed by the group's bad attitude. Meanwhile, Jesse and Rebecca quarrel over how to raise their twins.
TV-G
6:30 am
Rules of Engagement
Audrey's Sister
TV-PG
7:00 am
Married With Children
Her Cups Runneth Over
Peggy is so miserable when her favorite bra is discontinued, that Al is forced to take matters into his own hands and find a replacement.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Married With Children
Bald and the Beautiful, The
When Al and Steve face up to the bald fact that they are both losing their hair, they decide to seek the counsel and encouragement of a hairless support group.
TV-PG
8:00 am
King of Queens, The
Flash Photography
While at a wedding, Doug plays a lewd joke with a disposable camera.
TV-PG
8:30 am
Movie
Gridiron Gang
Juvenile detention camp probation officer Sean Porter, along with another officer, Malcolm Moore, turns a group of hardcore teenage felons into a high school football team in four weeks. Confronted with gang rivalries and bitter hatred between his teammates, Porter teaches some hard lessons--and learns a few himself--as the kids gain a sense of self-respect and responsibility. In a world where 75 percent of these juvenile inmates return to prison or meet with violent ends on the streets, Porter and Moore face seemingly insurmountable barriers. No one wants to compete against convicted criminals, but through relentless pursuit and a jolt of inspiration, Porter and his team fight their way to redemption and a second chance.
TV-14
11:00 am
America's Funniest Home Videos
AFHV #2116
A day at the zoo and a salute to our soldiers
TV-G
12:00 pm
Cleveland Show, The
Short Story and a Tall Tale, A
Rallo incurs a diminutive mobster's wrath after reneging on a promise to marry the mobster's sister.
TV-14
12:30 pm
Cleveland Show, The
Terry Unmarried
When Donna reveals she never finalized her divorce, Cleveland decides to live the life of a bachelor and go drinking with his friends...only to discover that Terry Kimple is gay.
TV-14
1:00 pm
American Dad
Honey, I'm Homeland
Stan goes undercover at an Occupy Wall Street rally and gets kidnapped by a group of radical leftists. The liberals submit Stan to horrific torture to re-educate him, but Stan escapes. After Stan returns home, Hayley notices Stan's odd behavior and fears that he may have been brainwashed.
TV-14
1:30 pm
American Dad
She Swill Survive
Stan is tired of Hayley being lazy and unemployed so he forces her to take a job in Roger's Bar. Deputy Director Bullock is a regular at the bar and confesses to Hayley his secrets. Stan takes advantage of Bullock's
TV-14
2:00 pm
American Dad
Rubberneckers
Stan and Francine go out to dinner and Francine catches Stan looking at another woman. Stan tells his co-workers that he got caught and the co-workers teach Stan about Rubbernecking, the art of checking out other woman on the sly.
TV-14
2:30 pm
American Dad
Permanent Record Wrecker
Stan is laid off from work and has to search for a job for the first time in over twenty years. When he applies for jobs, Stan learns that his permanent record has been wiped clean of his C.I.A. experience and no one wants to hire him.
TV-14
3:00 pm
Robot Chicken
Robot Chicken's ATM Christmas Special
The Robot Chicken Christmas Special has Santa nearly missing Christmas; Kano from Mortal Kombat shares the holidays with Mrs. Cage; Justin Bieber's new song is bound to be a Christmas hit; The writers give G.I. Joe a very special Christmas.
TV-14
3:15 pm
Robot Chicken
Choked on Multi-Colored Scarves
Robot Chicken dreams up a TV theme song that just keeps going and going; The Robot Chicken Nerd joins Team Fortress; She-Ra knows what it feels like to be her horse, Swift Wind; We show you Skeletor's new plan to take over Eternia.
TV-14
3:30 pm
Robot Chicken
Punctured Jugular
Robot Chicken pitches The Fast and the Furious 6; We see Wilson from Cast Away in a Bourne Identity-type role; We find out what Odd Job does on his day off; The writers dream how different Scooby-Doo would be if Lisbeth Salander joined them.
TV-14
3:45 pm
Robot Chicken
Poisoned by Relatives
TV-MA
4:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With Monica's Boots, The
Chandler is angry when Monica buys expensive boots; Phoebe tries to get tickets to a Sting concert.
TV-PG
4:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where Joey Dates Rachel, The
Rachel joins Joey for a night out in order to prepare him for a big date.
TV-PG
5:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where Chandler Takes a Bath, The
Monica blabs her suspicions when she mistakenly believes Joey is infatuated with Phoebe.
TV-PG
5:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With the Secret Closet, The
Joey realizes his intense feelings for Rachel are excluding Ross from the joys of impending fatherhood.
TV-PG
6:00 pm
Seinfeld
Gum, The
Kramer complicates Jerry's quest to locate a special brand of Chinese gum.
TV-PG
6:30 pm
Seinfeld
Rye, The
George's and Susan's parents have dinner together for the first time.
TV-PG
7:00 pm
Seinfeld
Caddy, The
Kramer befriends a caddy (Armin Shimerman) who helps him improve his golf game.
TV-PG
7:30 pm
Seinfeld
Seven, The
Jerry's girlfriend (Lisa Deanne) wears the same dress; Elaine loses a bike to Kramer.
TV-PG
8:00 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Mom's the Word
After some questionable food choices, Peter accidentally soils himself at work. Ashamed, he heads home and finds all of his family and friends have gathered there. He thinks theyĂre going to make fun of him, but theyĂre actually there to deliver some sad newsűhis mother, Thelma, has passed away.
TV-14
8:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
3 Acts of God
ItĂs football season and the Patriots have just lost their tenth game in a row. A disgruntled Peter joins Quagmire, Joe, and Cleveland at The Clam to drink and complain about their home team. Peter suddenly has an epiphany while watching the post-game show: the teams that defeat the Patriots consistently thank God for carrying them to victory.
TV-14
9:00 pm
American Dad
Big Stan on Campus
When the CIA is forced to make cut backs and go on furlough, Stan volunteers to take a position as a College Campus Security Guard. Meanwhile, Roger opens a bed and breakfast in order to boost the families' income.
9:30 pm
American Dad
Roger Passes the Bar
Roger pushes himself to the breaking point by working non-stop at his dive bar. When he suffers a heart attack, Roger decides to sell the bar to a company that promises to continue his vision. Upon returning to visit, Roger sees that the dive bar has been completely remade as a family friendly restaurant.
TV-14
10:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Luminous Fish Effect, The
Sheldon's getting fired forces him to explore what life has to offer outside physics, leaving Leonard to take drastic action to snap his friend out of his funk.
TV-14
10:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Hamburger Postulate, The
Fearing he's wasting his time on Penny, Leonard ends up making a connection with Leslie. (Sara Gilbert) Meanwhile, Sheldon frets over a change to his hamburger routine.
TV-PG
11:00 pm
Conan (CC)
Episode 5648
TV-14
12:00 am
Friends of the People
Horror, The
Prepare to laugh at sketches that include a wacky mother who gets away with everything; an intense stakeout jeopardized by pizza; and a rap about the evolution of thug life in Brooklyn. Plus, the cast relives the horrors of high school.
12:30 am
Conan (CC)
Episode 5648
TV-14
1:30 am
Cougar Town (SAP)
Restless
Jules has trouble sleeping, and it seems like nothing can help her relax. Grayson's face gets mangled in a roller hockey game. And Ellie goes into hiding after Andy decides to redeem his stash of sex coupons on Valentine's Day.
TV-14
2:00 am
Movie
Dan in Real Life
Widowed father and family-advice columnist Dan Burns is still reeling from the heartache of loss and takes refuge by trying to maintain order with his three rebellious young girls, while dodging anything unexpected or outside the box. But when Dan heads to Rhode Island, his miffed daughters in tow, for the annual fall weekend thrown by the large and boisterous Burns family, everything changes. Soon after his arrival, he runs into an alluring woman named Marie in a bookshop. For the first time in a very, very long time, Dan experiences real, live sparks--only to have to douse them liberally when he discovers Marie is, in fact, the brand-new girlfriend his brother Mitch is about to proudly introduce to the family. As the weekend gets underway in the close quarters of a crowded house filled with quirky, prying relatives, Dan and Marie try to squelch and cover up their growing mutual attraction at every turn, leading to one comical situation after another. Yet, no matter how hard they try to do the very opposite, Dan and Marie can't help but fall in love. Now Dan is about to realize that no matter how wise safety might seem, when it comes to real life, he's going to have to break all the rules.
TV-14
4:00 am
Married With Children
I'll See You in Court
Peggy hopes that an overnight stay in a motel will liven up her sex life with Al only to discover that their most intimate moments have been videotaped by the management.
TV-PG
4:30 am
Married With Children
Gypsy Cried, The
When a gypsy fortune teller predicts disaster for Marcy and good fortune for Al, Steve and Peggy, Marcy insists that they accompany her on a plane trip to New York, first class, of course.
TV-PG
5:00 am
Married With Children
Requiem for a Dead Barber
When Al's long-time barber passes on, Al is forced to face the fact that the old-fashioned barber shop is a thing of the past and resigns himself to a future of beauty salon haircuts.
TV-PG
5:30 am
Married With Children
Eatin' Out
When the Bundy's receive a modest inheritance check from Peg's deceased uncle, they decide to splurge and eat out at an elegant restaurant.
TV-PG
 

Tuesday, November 11

6:00 am
Full House
Trouble with Danny
Danny is thrilled that "Spring Cleaning Day" has arrived! He appoints chores to everyone in the house. When they gather to complain, Danny overhears. He reacts by becoming such a slob that the family asks him to be neat again.
TV-G
6:30 am
Rules of Engagement
Mr. Fix It
TV-PG
7:00 am
Married With Children
My Mom, the Mom
Peggy is the hit of Mother/Daughter Career Day at Kelly's school when she instructs the girls in the art of being a housewife, including demonstrations of wallet pilfering and mastering the TV remote control.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Married With Children
Can't Dance, Don't Ask Me (aka Kelly's Dance)
When Kelly is faced with a choice of getting kicked out of school or joining the tap dance club, she swallows her pride, buckles on her tap shoes and performs some dirty dancing that leaves the audience sweating in their seats.
TV-PG
8:00 am
King of Queens, The
Connect Four
Carrie and Doug try to find the perfect couple to join them at a Knicks game.
TV-PG
8:30 am
King of Queens, The
Golden Moldy
Doug downplays a problem in the basement so he and Carrie can still go on a trip they have planned.
TV-PG
9:00 am
Movie
From Paris with Love
A personal aide to the U.S. Ambassador in France, James Reese has an enviable life in Paris and a beautiful French girlfriend, but his real passion is his side job as a low-level operative for the CIA. All James wants is to become a bona fide agent and see some real action. So when he's offered his first senior-level assignment, he can't believe his good luck - until he meets his new partner, special agent Charlie Wax. A trigger-happy, wisecracking, loose cannon who's been sent to Paris to stop a terrorist attack, Wax leads James on a white-knuckle shooting spree through the Parisian underworld that has James praying for his desk job. But when James discovers he's a target of the same crime ring they're trying to bust, he realizes there's no turning back--and that Wax himself might be his only hope for making it through the next forty-eight hours alive.
TV-14
11:00 am
America's Funniest Home Videos
AFHV #2117
Siblings and pets
TV-G
12:00 pm
Cleveland Show, The
Blue and the Gray and the Brown, The
Cleveland and his friends attempt to change the outcome of the Civil War after Cleveland is tricked into preserving a statue of the city's founding father, a slaveholder.
TV-14
12:30 pm
Cleveland Show, The
Way the Cookie Crumbles, The
Cleveland and his friends target a con man who scammed Cookie and Freight Train out of their life savings; Rallo uses a toy microphone to give his vocal skills a workout.
TV-14
1:00 pm
American Dad
News Glance with Genevieve Vavance
Hayley wants to save the world through investigative journalism so she becomes an intern for a local news reporter. The reporter turns out to be Roger, who only wants ratings through sensationalized stories.
TV-14
1:30 pm
American Dad
Longest Distance Relationship, The
Hayley is injured in a fire and while she is in the hospital she meets Millionaire Matt Davis. As Hayley and Matt fall in love, Steve discovers Jeff Fischer is still alive in outer space. Jeff and Hayley communicate via an old CB radio and Jeff asks Hayley to stay true to him while he finds a way back to Earth.
TV-14
2:00 pm
American Dad
Blonde Ambition
When her efforts to save the planet prove hopeless, Hayley decides that she might get more attention if she becomes a blonde. Meanwhile, Stan and Steve go on a mission to find a new home for the Smiths.
TV-14
2:30 pm
American Dad
CIAPOW
When Bullock sends a drone to do the job Stan and his colleagues are supposed to do, Stan is determined to prove that humans are better than robots. Meanwhile, Francine and the rest of the family participate in a slow motion race against each other in the living room.
TV-14
3:00 pm
Robot Chicken
Collateral Damage in Gang Turf War
We see what happens when E.T. takes over an E.R.; Our minds put Harry Potter in a not-so-magical situation; Find out why The Avengers keep Black Widow and Hawkeye on the team; The Robot Chicken writers put our characters in a Walking Dead situation.
TV-14
3:15 pm
Robot Chicken
Papercut to Aorta
TV-14
3:30 pm
Robot Chicken
Disemboweled by an Orphan
Our demented minds see Gadget from Chip 'n Dale in a brand new way; The writers imagine what could happen if Frosty's hat landed on a few other things; We always loved Master of the Universe so we show two Eternia sightseers getting caught up in a battle between He-Man and Skeletor.
TV-14
3:45 pm
Robot Chicken
Hurtled from a Helicopter into a Speeding Train
TV-14
4:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where Joey Tells Rachel, The
Rachel joins Joey for a night out in order to prepare him for a big date.
TV-PG
4:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With the Tea Leaves, The
Rachel devises a lie about her unborn child that she hopes will break the silence between her and Joey; Phoebe reads tea leaves and predicts she will soon encounter the man of her dreams.
TV-PG
5:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One in Massapequa, The
Phoebe brings her annoyingly upbeat boyfriend (Alec Baldwin) to the 35th anniversary of Monica and Ross' parents (Christina Pickles, Elliott Gould), who urge Ross and pregnant Rachel to pretend to be married.
TV-PG
5:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With Joey's Interview, The
When Soap Opera Digest requests an interview, Joey enlists his friends to make sure he does not say anything that could cost him his role.
TV-PG
6:00 pm
Seinfeld
Cadillac, The (Part 1)
Jerry surprises his parents (Barney Martin, Liz Sheridan) with a new Cadillac.
TV-PG
6:30 pm
Seinfeld
Cadillac, The (Part 2)
Jerry surprises his parents (Barney Martin, Liz Sheridan) with a new Cadillac.
TV-PG
7:00 pm
Seinfeld
Shower Head, The
Jerry jokes about his uncle on television; Elaine fails a drug test; guest Jay Leno.
TV-PG
7:30 pm
Seinfeld
Calzone, The
George becomes his boss's pet when he shares a delicious calzone with him.
TV-PG
8:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Middle Earth Paradigm, The
Penny hosts a Halloween party, putting Leonard, Sheldon, Wolowitz, and Koothrappali through a new test of their social skills.
TV-PG
8:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Dumpling Paradox, The
With Wolowitz AWOL with one of her friends, Penny's recruited to fill in for him on the guys' Halo team.
TV-14
9:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Grasshopper Experiment, The
Raj's parents set him up on a blind date, and when he discovers he can talk to her, she shows interest in Sheldon.
TV-PG
9:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Cooper-Hofstadter Polarization, The
When they're invited to present at a physics conference, Sheldon's reluctance to share the credit leads to a tiff between him and Leonard, and Penny's intervention only exacerbates the situation.
TV-PG
10:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Loobenfeld Decay, The
Leonard and Sheldon each lie to avoid hearing Penny sing in a production of Rent. However, Sheldon's lie becomes a bit too complicated for its own good.
TV-14
10:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Pancake Batter Anomaly, The
With his friends knowing how sour he acts when sick; and avoiding him as a result; Sheldon is nursed for by Penny, who hasn't a clue what she's in for.
TV-PG
11:00 pm
Conan (CC)
Episode 5649
TV-14
12:00 am
Cougar Town (SAP)
Flirting with Time
When buyers show interest in Grayson's house, the crew is quick to judge their potential new neighbors. They also become nostalgic about when redneck Bobby and Jules first moved into the neighborhood. Meanwhile, Wade returns home from Afghanistan early, but Laurie's initial excitement quickly turns to fear when he becomes too clingy.
TV-14
12:30 am
Conan (CC)
Episode 5649
TV-14
1:30 am
Cougar Town (SAP)
You and I Will Meet Again
Laurie and Wade decide to move in together, but breaking the news to Travis doesn't go as planned. Tom becomes Jules' personal cheerleader after losing his "new guy" status. And Jules and Grayson have a naked day that turns out to be anything but sexy.
TV-14
2:00 am
Movie
Envy
Tim and Nick are best friends, neighbors and co-workers, whose equal footing is suddenly tripped up when one of Nick's hare-brained get-rich-quick schemes actually succeeds: the Vaporizer, a spray that literally makes dog poop, or any other kind for that matter, evaporate into thin air--to where, exactly, is anyone's guess. Tim, who had scoffed at Nick's idea and passed on an opportunity to get in on the deal, can only watch as Nick's fortune--and Tim's own envy--grow to equally outrageous proportions. When the flames of jealousy are fanned by an oddball drifter who imposes himself into the situation, Tim's life careens wildly out of control, taking Nick's with it.
TV-PG
4:00 am
Married With Children
Three Job, No Income Family, A
When Peggy gets a job selling cosmetics and brings home more money than Al, he gets a second job to regain his self-respect, but still finds himself losing the breadwinning game.
TV-PG
4:30 am
Married With Children
Harder They Fall, The
After Peggy gives the highway salute to a rude driver while in the Rhoades' car, Steve is obsessed with the fear that the enraged driver - a possible ex-con - may come looking for him.
TV-PG
5:00 am
Married With Children
House That Peg Lost, The
When Steve and Marcy return from vacation after entrusting the keys to their house to Peggy, they're shocked to find a big hole where their house used to be.
TV-PG
5:30 am
Married With Children
Married ... with Prom Queen (1)
In this two-part story, Peggy and Al attend the Polk High School Reunion where Peggy is determined to defeat her old nemesis for the title of Reunion Queen.
TV-PG
 

Wednesday, November 12

6:00 am
Full House
Five's a Crowd
D.J. has a date with one of the popular guys in her school. Fearing the boy will take advantage of D.J., Danny, Joey and Jesse follow her to end the date.
TV-G
6:30 am
Rules of Engagement
Guy Code
TV-14
7:00 am
Married With Children
Married ... with Prom Queen: the Sequel (2)
Peggy vigorously campaigns for the title of Reunion Queen while Al settles an old score with a former classmate at the Polk High School Reunion.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Married With Children
Computer Show, The
Peggy brings the family closer to the poorhouse when she insists on buying a home computer.
TV-PG
8:00 am
King of Queens, The
S' Poor House
Doug asks for financial assistance when insurance does not cover a mold problem.
TV-PG
8:30 am
King of Queens, The
Attention Deficit
Doug tries to prove to Carrie that he thinks about her all the time; friends threaten to ditch Doug's Super Bowl party for a co-worker's.
TV-PG
9:00 am
Movie (DVS)
Rush Hour 3
In the heart of Paris lies a deadly secret. Half a world away in Los Angeles, Ambassador Han is about to disclose it. In his possession is explosive new evidence about the inner workings of the Triads--the most powerful and notorious crime syndicate in the world. The Ambassador has discovered the identity of Shy Shen, the very crux of the wide-ranging crime ring, and he's about to reveal it to the World Criminal Court--until he is silenced by an assassin's bullet. The Triads will go to any lengths to make sure their secrets stay buried, and there's only one hope for stopping them. LAPD Detective Carter and Chinese Inspector Lee are back--back where they don't belong. The unlikely duo is headed to the City of Lights to stop a global criminal conspiracy and save the life of an old friend, Ambassador Han's now-grown daughter, Soo Yung. They don't know the city, the language or even exactly what they're looking for, but their race will take them across the city, from the depths of the Paris underground to the breathtaking heights of the Eiffel Tower, as they fight to outrun the world's most deadly criminals and save the day.
TV-14
11:00 am
America's Funniest Home Videos
AFHV #2118
Salute to the tush and "hit, miss, or disgusting"
TV-G
12:00 pm
Cleveland Show, The
To Live and Die in VA
Lester grows suicidal after losing his life savings in Cleveland's beer truck business; Rallo opens his own barbershop.
TV-14
12:30 pm
Cleveland Show, The
Essence of Cleveland, The
Complications ensue when Cleveland bonds with a formerly heavyset classmate of Donna's.
TV-14
1:00 pm
American Dad
Scents and Sensei-bility
Steve and Snot are fed up with being bullied. When they enroll in a karate class, Snot is brainwashed by the sensei and its Steve's mission to get him back. Meanwhile, Klaus develops a horrible odor and is forced into being an outside pet.
TV-14
1:30 pm
American Dad
Cops and Roger
In an attempt to prove his manhood to Stan, Roger joins the Police Academy. However it's not very long until he becomes a corrupt cop.
TV-14
2:00 pm
American Dad
Big Stan on Campus
When the CIA is forced to make cut backs and go on furlough, Stan volunteers to take a position as a College Campus Security Guard. Meanwhile, Roger opens a bed and breakfast in order to boost the families' income.
2:30 pm
American Dad
Pilot
Steve runs for school president to pick up girls (Stan rigs the election, CIA-style) and Hayley pays Roger in candy to write her school papers.
TV-PG
3:00 pm
Robot Chicken
Hemlock, Gin, & Juice
TV-14
3:15 pm
Robot Chicken
Eviscerated Post-Coital by Six-foot Mantis
TV-14
3:30 pm
Robot Chicken
Terms of Endaredevil
Discover the secret origins of Mo-Larr, Eternian Destist! Lara Croft makes a terrifying find in a tomb, He-Man's father proves that sometimes the apple falls very, very far from the tree, and the creators imagine how Gargamel might finally get the best of the Smurf's in Smurfitar!
TV-14
3:45 pm
Robot Chicken
Big Trouble in Little Clerks 2
The creators imagine what goes on deep in the jungles of Pandora late at night, Harold and his purple crayon go on an adventure in a bad neighborhood, Major Nelson uses Jeannie to get back at NASA for firing him, and everyone in the G.I. Joe ranks gets to animal sidekick.
TV-14
4:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With the Baby Shower, The
During her baby shower, Rachel realizes she is unprepared to be a mother and accepts her mother's (Marlo Thomas) offer to move in to help with the child.
TV-PG
4:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With the Male Nanny, The
Ross ridicules Rachel's choice of a male nanny (Freddie Prinze Jr.).
TV-PG
5:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With Ross's Inappropriate Song, The
Chandler and Joey find a videotape while checking out Richard's apartment; Ross sings Emma an off-color lullaby.
TV-PG
5:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With Rachel's Phone Number, The
Rachel impulsively gives her telephone number to a handsome guy but worries he will call when Ross is there.
TV-PG
6:00 pm
Seinfeld
Bottle Deposit, The (Part 1)
Jerry's mechanic steals his car; Kramer plans to return used bottles to Michigan.
TV-PG
6:30 pm
Seinfeld
Bottle Deposit, The (Part 2)
Jerry's mechanic steals his car; Kramer plans to return used bottles to Michigan.
TV-PG
7:00 pm
Seinfeld
Wait Out, The
Jerry and Elaine anticipate dating soon-to-be-single friends (Cary Elwes, Debra Messing).
TV-PG
7:30 pm
Seinfeld
Invitations, The
George searches for a way to stop his impending nuptials; guests Janeane Garofalo, Stephen Root, George Steinbrenner.
TV-PG
8:00 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Bill and Peter's Bogus Journey
After Peter helps Bill Clinton fix a flat tire, they become friends; Lois and Stewie try to potty train Brian.
TV-14
8:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
No Meals on Wheels
The Griffins have a hard time attracting customers when they open a restaurant.
TV-14
9:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Jerusalem Duality, The
With Sheldon rattled and impossible to be around after meeting Dennis, a 15-year-old physicist who's smarter than he, the rest of the guys search for a way to eliminate the threat.
TV-14
9:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Bat Jar Conjecture, The
Sheldon finds himself booted from the gang's Physics Bowl team and replaced with Leslie (Sara Gilbert), so he forms his own team, hoping to prove he's superior.
TV-14
10:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Nerdvana Annihilation, The
When the delivery of a full-size prop of 1960's The Time Machine makes Penny miss work, she scolds Leonard about his sci-fi collectibles. He decides it's time to give up such childish pursuits.
TV-PG
10:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Pork Chop Indeterminacy, The
The rest of the gang fall for Sheldon's twin sister, and Leonard's plan to win her heart is derailed when Sheldon declares he'll be the one to decide who can date her.
TV-14
11:00 pm
Conan (CC)
Episode 5650
TV-14
12:00 am
Cougar Town (SAP)
Make It Better
Jules' dad, Chick (guest star Ken Jenkins), spends some time at her house while recovering from an injury. During his stay, Jules experiences extreme stomach pain, but she's too stubborn to let her dad know. And Bobby and Grayson attempt to teach Travis how to be a "playa."
TV-14
12:30 am
Conan (CC)
Episode 5650
TV-14
1:30 am
Cougar Town (SAP)
You Tell Me
Confused by her mixed feelings for Travis, Laurie resorts to destroying things. But when her anger gets out of control, newly appointed mayor Andy has to step in. Jules starts hanging out with her therapist (guest star Nicole Sullivan) after discovering that her friends have been keeping secrets. And Bobby has a fling with the girl of his dreams (guest star Gillian Vigman) while enjoying a vacation at Target.
TV-14
2:00 am
Movie (DVS)
Arthur
Loveable billionaire Arthur Bach, an irresponsible charmer who has always relied on two things to get by: his limitless fortune and the good sense of his lifelong nanny and best friend Hobson, to keep him out of trouble. Kind-hearted, fun-loving, and utterly without purpose, Arthur spends every day in the heedless pursuit of amusement. But when his unpredictable public image threatens the staid reputation of the family foundation, Bach Worldwide, he is given an ultimatum: marry the beautiful but decidedly unlovable Susan Johnson, an ambitious corporate exec who can keep him in line, or say goodbye to his billion-dollar inheritance and the only way of life he knows. It's a deal Arthur would be inclined to take...if he hadn't just fallen for Naomi, a New York City tour guide who shares his idealism and spontaneity.
TV-14
4:00 am
Married With Children
Dateless Amigo, The
When Bud finds it difficult to line up a date, he resorts to the next best thing - a mannequin -with a penchant for losing her head.
TV-PG
4:30 am
Married With Children
Life's a Beach
When Al decides the Bundy clan needs to spend quality time together, they pack up the suntan oil, bug spray and portable TV and head for the beach.
TV-PG
5:00 am
Married With Children
Here's Lookin' at You, Kid
When a neighborhood peeping tom has taken a peek at everyone on the block except Peggy, she tries to rectify the situation by leaving milk, cookies and a ladder.
TV-PG
5:30 am
Married With Children
Hot off the Grill
In honor of Labor Day, Al Bundy "treats" Peggy, Kelly, Bud, Steve and Marcy to an oldfashioned barbecue - Bundy style.
TV-PG
 

Thursday, November 13

6:00 am
Full House
Girls Will Be Boys
A boy in Michelle's class calls Teddy a sissy for being Michelle's friend. Michelle talks to Jesse about the difference between boys and girls and starts acting like a miniature version of Jesse.
TV-G
6:30 am
Rules of Engagement
Bag Ladies
TV-14
7:00 am
Married With Children
Dead Men Don't Do Aerobics
When Peggy wins a personalized workout with TV fitness host Jim Jupiter, "the healthiest man in Chicago," he sets out to change her unhealthful lifestyle, but she changes his instead.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Married With Children
Buck Saves the Day
When Al and Steve take Bud and his friends on a camping trip, Kelly sees a friendly poker game with the girls as a chance to earn money for a rock concert.
TV-PG
8:00 am
King of Queens, The
Steve Moscow
Doug has a disagreement with his contractor, who then leaves his house in disarray.
TV-PG
8:30 am
King of Queens, The
Animal Attraction
Doug ruins St. Valentine's Day when he cancels a dinner with Carrie to transport penguins to Albany.
TV-PG
9:00 am
Movie
Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle
The Angels--Natalie, Dylan, and Alex--prepare to strike without warning as they go undercover to retrieve two missing silver bands. These are no ordinary rings. They contain valuable encrypted information that reveal the new identities of every person in the Federal Witness Protection Program. When witnesses start turning up dead, only the Angels, using their expertise as masters of disguise, espionage and martial arts can stop the perpetrator, a mysterious "fallen" Angel. Aided by their trusty colleague, Jimmy Bosley, the Angels'' adventure begins at a remote Mongolian outpost and ends only after Dylan is forced to face a dark secret from her past--a secret that puts the lives of her two best friends in danger.
TV-14
11:00 am
America's Funniest Home Videos
AFHV #2119
Athletic supporters and pinatas
TV-G
12:00 pm
Cleveland Show, The
Ship'rect
Cleveland befriends celebrity idol Barry Shadwell and joins his sailing team, but has a change of heart about participating in a sailing event after he and Shadwell share a kiss.
TV-14
12:30 pm
Cleveland Show, The
Back to Cool
After Junior bonds with Donna's ex-husband, Robert, Cleveland challenges Robert to a "Coolympics" competition.
TV-14
1:00 pm
American Dad
Threat Levels
After a near-death scare involving a CIA bio-toxin, Francine decides to start a job as a realtor...making more money than Stan. Also, bumfighting!
TV-14
1:30 pm
American Dad
Stan Knows Best
When Stan's military discipline becomes too strict for the liberal Hayley, she runs off with her boyfriend. Meanwhile Steve claims Roger as his burn-scarred sister in a valiant effort to get some boob.
TV-14
2:00 pm
American Dad
Francine's Flashback
Roger's death leaves the entire family strained as Francine loses her faith and Stan struggles not to lose his manhood.
TV-14
2:30 pm
American Dad
Rodger Codger
After a forgotten anniversary leads Stan to submit Francine for memory erasure at the CIA, she reverts twenty years back instead of twenty minutes, becoming once again the wild child she used to be.
TV-14
3:00 pm
Robot Chicken
Caffeine-Induced Aneurysm
TV-14
3:15 pm
Robot Chicken
Eaten by Cats
We show you what The Teletubies would be like as the next generation of Power Rangers; Doc Brown just can't get his time machine right; Parappa the Rapper teams with 50 Cent in our crazy world; You'll get to see what happens when a Lego person has a baby.
TV-14
3:30 pm
Robot Chicken
Casablankman
See! Rubik the Amazing Cube as he returns for one last adventure. Watch! As kids try out the newest fad getting Suped. Discover! The secret behind a small doorway in a little boys room. And finally, the creators imagine what Eternias 24-hour gym might be like.
TV-14
3:45 pm
Robot Chicken
Godfather of the Bride II, The
Remember when MTV used to actually be about music The MTV logo does and its out for revenge. The Robot Chicken Nerd dreams of hanging out with Michael Knight from Knight Rider. A bunch of Spocks from the future gather for a surprise party and the creators imagine what television will be like in the year 2013.
TV-14
4:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where Rachel Goes Back to Work, The
Rachel crosses swords with her temporary replacement (Dermot Mulroney) at the shop; Phoebe wreaks havoc on the set of Joey's soap opera.
TV-PG
4:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With Phoebe's Rats, The
Monica invites Rachel's workplace rival (Dermot Mulroney) to her birthday party; Joey flirts with Emma's new nanny (Melissa George); Phoebe and Mike (Paul Rudd) take care of a litter of rats.
TV-PG
5:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where Monica Sings, The
Monica exults in the applause she receives on karaoke night, unaware that the cheering audience can see through her blouse.
TV-PG
5:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With the Blind Dates, The
Joey and Phoebe conspire to send Rachel and Ross on disastrous blind dates.
TV-14
6:00 pm
Seinfeld
Foundation, The
George is ready to move on, but Susan's parents want to keep her memory alive.
TV-PG
6:30 pm
Seinfeld
Soul Mate, The
George suspects the foundation attorney believes he murdered Susan.
TV-PG
7:00 pm
Seinfeld
Bizzaro Jerry, The
Elaine's soon-to-be former beau has two friends who resemble George and Kramer.
TV-PG
7:30 pm
Seinfeld
Little Kicks, The
Kramer's friend forces Jerry to perform an illegal activity.
TV-PG
8:00 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Boys Do Cry
When their church thinks Stewie is possessed by the devil, the family goes on the run and ends up in Texas.
TV-14
8:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
No Chris Left Behind
The family enrolls Chris in a snooty boarding school; the chicken returns to pick a fight with Peter.
TV-14
9:00 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
It Takes A Village Idiot, And I Married One
Lois dumbs down her political views when she runs for mayor.
TV-14
9:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Peanut Reaction, The
Penny wants to throw a surprise party for Leonard, but Sheldon's indulgence at an electronics store throws her off-track.
TV-14
10:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Tangerine Factor, The
Penny's break-up spurs Leonard to summon the courage to ask her out, and each goes to Sheldon for advice on their upcoming date.
TV-PG
10:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Bad Fish Paradigm, The
Penny opens up to a reluctant Sheldon after a less-than-stellar first date with Leonard, placing him in the uncomfortable position of having to keep a secret.
TV-14
11:00 pm
Conan (CC)
Episode 5651
TV-14
12:00 am
Cougar Town (SAP)
Saving Grace
Travis and Andy take a backseat to Bobby's new tomboy friend, Riggs (guest star Maria Thayer). Grayson sparks a religious debate when he sighs during Jules' family prayer. And the Cul-De-Sac Crew form a dodgeball league, but Andy's attention toward another girl leads to a brawl with a group of pre-teens.
TV-14
12:30 am
Conan (CC)
Episode 5651
TV-14
1:30 am
Office, The (SAP)
Banker, The
When the prospective buyer of Dunder Mifflin sends a banker to the Scranton branch to do due diligence, it sets off a wave of reminiscing about the various events the employees have been involved in.
TV-PG
2:00 am
Movie
Charlie's Angels: Full Throttle
The Angels--Natalie, Dylan, and Alex--prepare to strike without warning as they go undercover to retrieve two missing silver bands. These are no ordinary rings. They contain valuable encrypted information that reveal the new identities of every person in the Federal Witness Protection Program. When witnesses start turning up dead, only the Angels, using their expertise as masters of disguise, espionage and martial arts can stop the perpetrator, a mysterious "fallen" Angel. Aided by their trusty colleague, Jimmy Bosley, the Angels'' adventure begins at a remote Mongolian outpost and ends only after Dylan is forced to face a dark secret from her past--a secret that puts the lives of her two best friends in danger.
TV-14
4:00 am
Married With Children
Tooth or Consequences
Stricken with a toothache, Al reluctantly visits a dentist for the first time, leaving him in too much pain to enjoy the family meal that Peggy has begrudgingly agreed to prepare.
TV-PG
4:30 am
Married With Children
He Ain't Much, But He's Mine
When a flashy blond at the beauty parlor brags about her affair with a married man, Peggy worries that Al is picking up more than a spare on his bowling night.
TV-PG
5:00 am
Married With Children
Fair Exchange
The Bundys are elated over the extra income they receive when they house a foreign exchange student, but Kelly gets a run for her money when the student turns out to be a beautiful, sexy French girl.
TV-PG
5:30 am
Married With Children
Desperately Seeking Miss October
Al panics when Peggy sells his beloved collection of Playboy magazines to buy a good luck idol to help her win the lottery.
TV-PG