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SCHEDULE: February 2016

Times listed for EASTERN and PACIFIC timezones except where otherwise noted.

Saturday, February 6

6:00 am
Full House
Greek Week
Jesse's grandparents from Greece arrive for a visit and bring along some unexpected guests.
TV-G
6:30 am
Full House
Crimes and Michelle's Demeanor
Danny finds it difficult to discipline 3-year-old Michelle, his "baby girl." Jesse sells his most prized possession--a guitar once owned by Elvis Presley--to get money to pay for an engagement ring for Becky.
TV-G
7:00 am
Full House
I.Q. Man, The
Jesse becomes a reluctant actor in a commercial he writes with Joey. Danny becomes Jesse and Joey's partner after he gives them money to start their own business.
TV-G
7:30 am
Full House
Slumber Party
A mother/daughter slumber party leaves Stephanie feeling left out, until Joey and D.J. come to the rescue.
TV-G
8:00 am
Full House
Good News, Bad News
Jesse and Joey's first job is to produce a commercial for Wake Up San Francisco, but working for Danny is difficult. D.J.'s duties as editor of the school newspaper cause a rift in her friendship with her best friend, Kimmy.
TV-G
8:30 am
Angie Tribeca
Wedding Planner Did It, The
A baker's been murdered and the lieutenant is just sick about it. Tribeca must track down the murderer before any other people get murdered by that murderer. The only problem She doesn't know who did it.
TV-14
9:00 am
Movie
Sky High
It all begins at a secret school in the clouds like none on earth: Sky High, the first and only high school for kids with super-human powers going through crime-fighting puberty. At Sky High, the student body throw flames with their footballs, study Villainy with their Chemistry and are divided into "Heroes" and "Sidekicks" instead of jocks and geeks. It''s an out-of-this-world yet completely recognizable place where cool gadgetry, rampant bravery and awe-inspiring magical skills mix it up with parental battles, peer pressure and dating trouble--with explosively fun results. This year''s class features some of the best, brightest and most powerfully gifted super-teens ever assembled. And then there''s Will Stronghold. When you''re the son of the world''s most legendary super heroes, The Commander and Jetstream, people expect you to live up to the family name The problem is that Will is starting with no superpowers of his own and, worst of all, instead of joining the ranks of the "Hero" class, he finds himself relegated to being a "Sidekick." Now he must somehow survive his freshman year while dealing with an overbearing gym coach, a bully with super speed and a dangerous rebel with a grudge (and the ability to shoot fire from his hands)--not to mention the usual angst, parental expectations and girl problems that accompany teenage life. But when an evil villain threatens his family, friends and the very sanctity of Sky High, Will must use his newfound superpowers to save the day and prove himself a "Hero" worthy of the family tradition.
TV-PG
11:00 am
Movie (DVS)
Hot Tub Time Machine
A group of best friends are bored with their adult lives: Adam has been dumped by his girlfriend; Lou is a party guy who can''t find the party; Nick''s wife controls his every move; and video game-obsessed Jacob won''t leave his basement. After a crazy night of drinking in a ski resort hot tub, the men wake up, heads pounding, in the year 1986. This is their chance to kick some past and change their futures - one will find a new love life, one will learn to stand up for himself with the ladies, one will find his mojo. And one will make sure he still exists.
TV-14
1:00 pm
Movie
Zoolander
The international misadventures of fashion model Derek Zoolander, who is hired to stop a secret cartel of political assassins posing as male models. Derek soon discovers the horrifying secret of why no male models live past the age of thirty. While Derek tries to infiltrate the fashion/assassin clique led by the mean-spirited designer Mugatu, he must also contend with Hansel, a dense, on-the-rise male model who threatens to sabotage his mission--as well as his modeling career.
TV-14
3:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With the Two Parties, The
Rachel gets a surprise at her birthday party when her parents (MARLO THOMAS and RON LEIBMAN) show up.
TV-PG
3:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With the Chicken Pox, The
When Phoebe catches chicken pox, her chances for romance with a former lover (CHARLIE SHEEN) are almost ruined. Monica worries that she is too strange for Richard.
TV-PG
4:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With Barry And Mindy's Wedding, The
Rachel is a bridesmaid at her ex-fianci's wedding. Monica and Richard's relationship is jeopardized when the subject of children is discussed.
TV-PG
4:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With the Princess Leia Fantasy, The
Ross' secret fantasy doesn't stay secret for long after he confides in Rachel. Chandler resumes an old relationship.
TV-PG
5:00 pm
2 Broke Girls (DVS)
And the Extra Work
Max and Caroline are invited to be extras on a popular TV show shooting a scene in Han's diner, but when Caroline catches the director's eye, he offers her an actual role -- with strings attached.
TV-14
5:30 pm
2 Broke Girls (DVS)
And the Tip Slip
Caroline's father, Martin Channing, asks Caroline to go on a talk show to defend him when a former employee threatens to defame him in a tell-all book.
TV-14
6:00 pm
2 Broke Girls (DVS)
And the Window of Opportunity
In the season finale, when Max and Caroline offer to deep-clean a previously hidden part of the diner, they discover something that could re-launch their cupcake business.
TV-14
6:30 pm
2 Broke Girls (DVS)
And the Soft Opening
Season 3 begins with business booming at Max & Caroline's new cupcake walk-up after word spreads about a shocking incident involving a rock star.
TV-14
7:00 pm
2 Broke Girls (DVS)
And the Kickstarter
Caroline tries to raise money for an expensive pair of new pants through an online fundraising site. Meanwhile, Max's new smartphone comes between her and Caroline.
TV-14
7:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Panty Pinata Polarization, The
When Sheldon bans Penny from the apartment for numerous minor infractions, she decides to retaliate. Howard and Raj search for the America's Next Top Model house.
TV-PG
8:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Lizard-Spock Expansion, The
Sheldon wants to use an alternate version of rock-paper-scissors to help resolve conflicts. A girl (Sara Rue) Wolowitz has a major crush on falls for Leonard.
TV-PG
8:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
White Asparagus Triangulation, The
Sheldon is overexuberant that Leonard finally has a girlfriend (Sara Rue) matching his high standards.
TV-PG
9:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Vartabedian Conundrum, The
Leonard seeks Penny's counsel when his relationship with Stephanie (Sara Rue) takes off faster than he'd like. Sheldon's hypochondriac tendencies get the better of him.
TV-PG
9:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Bath Item Gift Hypothesis, The
Sheldon irks the gangs with his obession with proper Christmas gift protocol. Lenoard's crushed when Penny dates a colleague of his.
TV-PG
10:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Killer Robot Instability, The
Penny's criticism of Wolowitz's romantic life pushes him into depression and AWOL for a fighting robot battle the rest of guys are depending on him for.
TV-14
10:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Friendship Algorithim, The
Looking to get friendly with Barry Kripke to gain access to a piece of high-tech lab equipment, Sheldon develops a flowchart process to make friends.
TV-14
11:02 pm
Angie Tribeca
Wedding Planner Did It, The
A baker's been murdered and the lieutenant is just sick about it. Tribeca must track down the murderer before any other people get murdered by that murderer. The only problem She doesn't know who did it.
TV-14
11:32 pm
Movie
Zoolander
The international misadventures of fashion model Derek Zoolander, who is hired to stop a secret cartel of political assassins posing as male models. Derek soon discovers the horrifying secret of why no male models live past the age of thirty. While Derek tries to infiltrate the fashion/assassin clique led by the mean-spirited designer Mugatu, he must also contend with Hansel, a dense, on-the-rise male model who threatens to sabotage his mission--as well as his modeling career.
TV-14
1:30 am
Movie
Your Highness
Throughout history, tales of chivalry have burnished the legends of brave, handsome knights who rescue fair damsels, slay dragons and conquer evil. But behind many a hero is a good-for-nothing younger brother trying just to stay out of the way of those dragons, evil and trouble in general. Thadeous has spent his life watching his perfect older brother Fabious embark upon valiant journeys and win the hearts of his people. Tired of being passed over for adventure, adoration and the throne, he's settled for a life of wizard's weed, hard booze and easy maidens. But when Fabious' bride-to-be, Belladonna, gets kidnapped by the evil wizard Leezar, the king gives his deadbeat son an ultimatum: Man up and help rescue her or get cut off. Half-assedly embarking upon his first quest, Thadeous joins Fabious to trek across the perilous outlands and free the princess. Joined by Isabel--an elusive warrior with a dangerous agenda of her own--the brothers must vanquish horrific creatures and traitorous knights before they can reach Belladonna. If Thadeous can find his inner hero, he can help his brother prevent the destruction of his land.
TV-14
3:30 am
America's Funniest Home Videos
AFHV #2513
TV-G
4:30 am
America's Funniest Home Videos
AFHV #2514
TV-G
5:30 am
Married With Children
Old Insurance Dodge
When Al's Dodge is stolen, he learns it is only worth $100, and he decides to add a few priceless items to the list of things missing from his trunk.
TV-PG
 

Sunday, February 7

6:00 am
Seinfeld
Checks, The
Jerry receives bundles of small residual checks from his Japanese TV appearance.
TV-PG
6:30 am
Seinfeld
Chicken Roaster, The
A celebrity opens a chicken restaurant in Jerry's neighborhood.
TV-PG
7:00 am
Seinfeld
Abstinence, The
George benefits when his new girlfriend's illness requires their abstinence.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Seinfeld
Andrea Doria, The
George wants a better apartment; Jerry learns Newman is hiding mail.
TV-PG
8:00 am
Friends (SAP)
Pilot
Six friends in their twenties pursue careers, love and happiness in New York City while relying on each other for support.
TV-PG
8:30 am
Friends (SAP)
One With the East German Laundry Detergent, The
While Phoebe and Chandler end their respective romantic relationships, Rachel and Ross do laundry together on their first date.
TV-PG
9:00 am
Friends (SAP)
One Where Rachel Finds Out, The
Rachel finds out about Ross' secret love for her -- but another surprise awaits her.
TV-PG
9:30 am
Friends (SAP)
One With Ross's New Girlfriend, The
Rachel gets an unpleasant surprise when Ross returns home. Phoebe has varied success cutting the friends' hair.
TV-14
10:00 am
Friends (SAP)
One Where Ross Finds Out, The
Dramatic developments occur in Ross and Rachel's relationship. Chandler regrets asking Monica to help him lose weight.
TV-PG
10:30 am
Friends (SAP)
One With the List, The
Rachel makes a painful discovery concerning Ross. Monica's new boss (MICHAEL McKEAN) gives her an impossible task.
TV-PG
11:00 am
Friends (SAP)
One With Russ, The
Joey gets a great acting opportunity. Rachel dates a guy who is amazingly similar to Ross. Series star DAVID SCHWIMMER plays a dual role.
TV-PG
11:30 am
Friends (SAP)
One With the Prom Video, The
Monica's old home video shows Ross' true feelings for Rachel. Joey gives a gaudy gift to Chandler.
TV-PG
12:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where Ross and Rachel...You Know, The
Ross and Rachel encounter obstacles to romance. Monica becomes enamored with a handsome, older doctor (TOM SELLECK).
TV-14
12:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where Ross And Rachel Take a Break (Part 1), The
Phoebe becomes involved with a foreign diplomat. Ross becomes involved with another woman after a fight with Rachel.
TV-PG
1:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One the Morning After (Part 2), The
Ross wakes up with Chloe, but an oblivious Rachel wants to resume their relationship.
TV-PG
1:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With the Jellyfish, The
Ross loves dating Rachel again -- but hates what he did to accomplish the reconciliation. Phoebe gets to know her mother.
TV-PG
2:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With Ross's Wedding (Part 2), The
Rachel frantically tries to get to London before Ross marries Emily. Ross' father clashes with Emily's. OLIVIA WILLIAMS and HUGH LAURIE guest star.
TV-PG
2:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One in Vegas (Part 2), The
Monica and Chandler get lucky in Las Vegas, Nevada. Rachel makes Ross regret playing a prank on her. Joey schemes for fame and fortune.
TV-PG
3:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With Joey's Porsche, The
Rachel forces Ross to terminate their marriage. Phoebe's first triplet baby-sitting experience proves stressful. Joey pretends to own a sports car.
TV-PG
3:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With Monica's Thunder, The
Monica excitedly reveals her good news to everyone, but Rachel and Ross upstage her. Chandler has trouble making love.
TV-PG
4:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With the Red Sweater, The
Rachel debates whether she should break the news to her baby's father.
TV-PG
4:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With the Videotape, The
Ross reveals that he videotaped a sexual encounter between Rachel and him.
TV-PG
5:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
Last One (Part 1), The
The six friends say goodbye and embark on the next chapters of their lives.
TV-PG
5:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
Last One (Part 2), The
The six friends say goodbye and embark on the next chapters of their lives.
TV-PG
6:00 pm
New Girl
Naked
Jess accidentally walks in on Nick naked, sending his self-confidence to an all-time low just after an attractive co-worker agrees to go out on a date with him. Meanwhile, Winston becomes obsessed with learning pop-culture references on Wikipedia.
TV-14
6:30 pm
New Girl
Fluffer
Nick and Jess address their relationship-without-benefits. Meanwhile, Winston has a lot on his mind besides Shelby. Then, hoping to date a beautiful Republican, Schmidt pretends to be one of presidential candidate Mitt Romney's sons.
TV-14
7:00 pm
New Girl
Table 34
The gang attends a dating convention, where Cece hopes to find a prospective husband even as Schmidt hopes to win her back. Meanwhile, Winston's mojo returns, and Jess and Nick get put in a compromising position in front of Dr. Sam.
TV-14
7:30 pm
New Girl
Quick Hardening Caulk
Jess comes to a conclusion about her romantic feelings for Nick and she struggles to tell him until she's hopped up on pain medication. But after admitting her feelings, she finds out he may have been keeping something from her. Meanwhile, Schmidt becomes obsessed with buying a fish, which Winston sees as a metaphor for Schmidt's unresolved feelings toward Cece, and Nick plans a bar promotion to impress the bar owner.
TV-14
8:00 pm
New Girl
First Date
Nick and Jess continue to struggle with the sexual tension in their relationship both hoping and willing the other to make the first move. After an awkward but exhilarating encounter in the loft hallway, an emboldened Nick asks Jess out on a first date, but it turns out that they both may not be on the same page. And Schmidt and Winston worry that if Nick becomes involved with Jess, it will alter the carefully calibrated dynamics in the loft.
TV-14
8:30 pm
New Girl
Winston's Birthday
Jess' dad chooses the worst day to pay the loft an unexpected visit, forcing a nervous Nick to spend the day alone with him. Jess finds herself with a huge opportunity for a new job on the day before Cece's wedding, and Schmidt must take a look in the mirror and confront his real feelings about Elizabeth. Meanwhile, Winston psyches himself up for his huge surprise birthday celebration, which no one seemed to remember to throw for him.
TV-14
9:00 pm
New Girl
Elaine's Big Day
Cece's wedding day finds Jess and Nick making a decision about their relationship. Meanwhile, Schmidt schemes with a typically overenthusiastic Winston to sabotage the nuptials, although a shocking announcement may be bigger than anything he has planned.
TV-14
9:30 pm
New Girl
Mars Landing
Jess and Nick face some truths about their relationship, while Schmidt, Winston and Coach scramble to make a better second impression on their hot new neighbors. Also, Cece panics after she drunk-texts Buster.
TV-14
10:00 pm
New Girl
Big News
The morning after their break-up, Jess and Nick scramble to keep it a secret from the loftmates. Meanwhile, Winston passes his police academy entrance exam, and demands that the gang throw him a "Honey Roast."
TV-14
10:30 pm
New Girl
Clean Break
In the Season 4 finale, Coach is moving out of the loft, while Schmidt gets rid of non-essentials and comes to realize what is really important to him, and Jess & Nick reminisce and try to determine how they feel about each other.
TV-14
11:00 pm
Movie (DVS)
Role Models
Two salesmen, Wheeler and Danny, trash a company truck on an energy drink-fueled bender. Upon their arrest, the court gives them a choice: do hard time or spend 150 service hours with a mentorship program. After one day with the kids, however, jail doesn''t look half bad. Surrounded by annoying do-gooders, Danny struggles with every neurotic impulse to guide Augie through the trials of becoming a man. Unfortunately, the guy just dumped by his girlfriend has only sarcasm to offer a bashful 16-year-old obsessed with medieval role play. Meanwhile, charming Wheeler tries to trade in an addiction to partying and women to assist a fifth-grader named Ronnie in redirecting his foul-mouthed ways. It would probably help if Ronnie''s new mentor wasn''t an overgrown adolescent whose idea of quality time includes keggers in Venice Beach. Once the center''s ex-con director gives them an ultimatum, Danny and Wheeler are forced to tailor their brand of immature wisdom to their charges. And if they can just make it through probation without getting thrown in jail, the world''s worst role models will prove that, sometimes, it takes a village idiot to raise a child.
TV-14
1:00 am
Movie
I Love You, Man
Peter Klaven is a successful real estate agent who, upon getting engaged to the woman of his dreams, Zooey, discovers, to his dismay and chagrin, that he has no male friend close enough to serve as his Best Man. Peter immediately sets out to rectify the situation, embarking on a series of bizarre and awkward "man-dates," before meeting Sydney Fife, a charming, opinionated man with whom he instantly bonds. But the closer the two men get, the more Peter''s relationship with Zooey suffers, ultimately forcing him to choose between his fiancÚe and his new found "bro," in a story that comically explores what it truly means to be a "friend."
TV-14
3:00 am
Movie
Sex Drive
At 18, Ian Lafferty is struggling through his last summer before college. He''s taunted by his cocksure older brother Rex, shown up in the romance department by his 14-year-old younger brother and humiliated by his job at the donut shop in the mall. But Ian''s biggest problem is that he''s about to start college as a virgin! He''s determined to rectify that before he officially becomes a freshman and his devil-may-care pal Lance is on hand to help. A total washout out with the girl of his dreams and longtime "best friend" Felicia, Ian resorts to the Internet for dates. He soon hooks up with Ms. Tasty, a flaming hot blonde who can''t wait to get busy. But there''s one tiny catch: Ian has to drive 500 miles from Chicago to Knoxville to consummate the deal. Egged on by Lance, Ian risks life and limb by appropriating "The Judge," Rex''s prized vintage Pontiac GTO, for a cross-country "sex drive." With Lance and Felicia in tow, the planned eight-hour drive turns into a three-day marathon as the trio loses its way in the Heartland and ends up taking a scenic tour of Midwestern back roads. Car trouble, a stint in the pokey, a detour to an Amish farm and an afternoon at a roadside carnival all complicate Ian''s journey, but it''s Lance''s overactive libido that really threatens to derail his plans. Will Rex find him before he reaches Nirvana? Will a cuckolded husband exact revenge on Lance just as he seems to have found true love? Will Ms. Tasty live up to her Internet profile? Will Ian realize what it is he really wants? And most importantly, Will Ian, Felicia and Lance survive the perilous road to adulthood with all its unexpected twists and turns?
TV-14
5:00 am
Married With Children
Wedding Repercussions
When Jimmy, the Bundy's relative, learns that his new bride slept with someone the day of their wedding, his temper explodes and a guilty Bud runs for cover.
TV-PG
5:30 am
Married With Children
Proposition, The
Coco, a cosmetic millionairess and former girlfriend of Al's, makes a truly indecent proposal by offering Peggy $500,000 for one night of passion with Al.
TV-PG
 

Monday, February 8

6:00 am
Married With Children
Tisket, a Tasket, Can Peg Make a Basket?, A
Al and Peggy go to a basketball game, and they switch seats. Soon, Peg is called up for a free throw, which Al feels should have been his since it was his seat in the first place. It's up to Peggy to make the free throw and win the $10,000.
TV-PG
6:30 am
Married With Children
Hood 'n the Boyz
Al meets his girlfriend from when he was young, and a gang seems to be bothering her. Al feels he should help her with the problem.
TV-PG
7:00 am
Married With Children
Proud to Be Your Bud?
Bud's latest attempts to impress women fail miserably, causing him such embarrassment that he confines himself to the basement. But when his "cool" alter ego appears, Bud learns the secrets of gaining adoration.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Married With Children
Luck of the Bundys
Peg checks Al's horoscope and insists he's due for a stroke of good luck. But when good things actually start happening, Al gets a shrinking feeling that his luck won't last.
TV-PG
8:00 am
Married With Children
Banking on Marcy
When Marcy's superiors at the bank ask her to deliver bad news at a shareholder's meeting, she calls a radio therapist who suggests she focus on sex to overcome her fear of speaking in public -- advice that leads to disastrous results.
TV-PG
8:30 am
Married With Children
No Chicken, No Check
Al quits lending his car to Kelly and Bud, who take matters into their own hands and purchase one to share. But when both make plans for the drive-in, they are forced to double date, with each trying to get the other out of the car.
TV-PG
9:00 am
King of Queens, The
Hartford Whaler
Doug tries to be romantic by making an unexpected appearance at Carrie's company retreat; Danny and Spence sneak into a Huey Lewis concert.
TV-PG
9:30 am
King of Queens, The
Acting Out
Carrie considers moving Arthur into a retirement home after he sets the basement on fire.
TV-PG
10:00 am
King of Queens, The
Fight Schlub
Doug plots revenge after learning that his friendship with a driver from a rival service was nothing more than a con.
TV-PG
10:30 am
King of Queens, The
King Pong
After losing to Carrie, Doug asks Arthur to help him improve his pingpong game.
TV-PG
11:00 am
Cleveland Show, The
Pilot
Cleveland and his overweight 14-year-old son say goodbye to Quahog and set out for California. Along the way, Cleveland stops in his old hometown, where he eventually marries former classmate Donna Tubbs.
TV-14
11:30 am
Cleveland Show, The
Da Doggone Daddy-Daughter Dinner Dance
Cleveland asks Roberta to accompany him to a daddy/daughter dance at school, but his hopes of establishing a bond are torpedoed after he accidentally runs over the family's dog.
TV-14
12:00 pm
Angie Tribeca
Wedding Planner Did It, The
A baker's been murdered and the lieutenant is just sick about it. Tribeca must track down the murderer before any other people get murdered by that murderer. The only problem She doesn't know who did it.
TV-14
12:30 pm
Seinfeld
Little Jerry, The
George finds the perfect woman; Kramer gets a pet; Elaine dates a bald man.
TV-PG
1:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With the Flashback, The
The friends recall secrets from their pasts.
TV-PG
1:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With the Race Car Bed, The
Joey sees Janice kissing her husband, whom she is divorcing while she dates Chandler. Rachel's father (RON LEIBMAN) clashes with Ross.
TV-PG
2:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With the Giant Poking Device, The
Chandler and Janice make a difficult decision about their relationship. Monica accidentally injures Ben and tries to hide it from Ross.
TV-PG
2:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where Chandler Can't Remember Which Sister, The
Rachel meets a handsome stranger (STEVEN ECKHOLDT) who might help her career. Chandler gets into trouble with Joey's sisters.
TV-14
3:00 pm
New Girl
Birthday
It's Jess' birthday and Nick has something special planned. An incredible gift giver herself, Jess consistently sets the bar too high for her friends and is always left disappointed - which is why she resolved long ago to spend her birthdays alone at the movies. But Nick is determined to break the cycle this year and enlists the gang's help to pull it off.
TV-14
3:30 pm
New Girl
Prince
Jess is ready to paint the town purple when a chance encounter finds her and Cece invited to a once-in-a-lifetime mansion party thrown by music legend Prince. Not wanting to miss out on the fun, Nick, Schmidt, Winston and Coach are determined to crash the festivities, building toward an unforgettable climax.
TV-14
4:00 pm
Seinfeld
Comeback, The
Jerry joins a tennis club; a co-worker's insults test George.
TV-PG
4:30 pm
Seinfeld
Money, The
Jerry's parents sell their Cadillac, thinking he needs money; J. Peterman returns.
TV-PG
5:00 pm
American Dad
American Stepdad
Stan invites his mother (guest voice Swoosie Kurtz) to come live with the family after Stan's stepfather dies, and tensions rise when Roger is forced to share his attic with her. But Roger and Stan's mom quickly fall in love and get married, and Stan is forced to deal with Roger as his new stepdad. Meanwhile, Steve and his friends discover a mysterious plane crash while on a bike ride and come across a long-lost script of a "Fast and Furious" movie that they are determined to get made.
TV-14
5:30 pm
American Dad
Why Can't We Be Friends
After concluding that Snot isn't cool enough to hang out with Steve, Stan concocts a scheme to separate the pair by sticking Snot in the Witness Protection Program; Roger gives Steve money to clean out his attic.
TV-14
6:00 pm
American Dad
Adventures in Hayleysitting
The Smith family's regular babysitter, Lindsay, breaks her leg in a soccer match, so Stan and Francine are forced to leave Steve with Hayley, despite her track record of being extremely irresponsible. When Hayley teases Steve about being a goody-two-shoes, Steve is determined to prove her wrong and sneaks out of the house to go to a party with the cool kids.
TV-14
6:30 pm
American Dad
National Treasure 4: Baby Franny: She's Doing Well: The Hole Story
A Langley Falls talk show outs Francine as "Baby Franny," the toddler who was once rescued from a well by a heroic fireman. Then, on the anniversary of her rescue, she falls down the well again and makes a shocking discovery. Meanwhile, Stan and Roger have an entrepreneurial "eureka!" moment when they think of the world's next game-changing business opportunity - male stripper shoes.
TV-14
7:00 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
3 Acts of God
It┐s football season and the Patriots have just lost their tenth game in a row. A disgruntled Peter joins Quagmire, Joe, and Cleveland at The Clam to drink and complain about their home team. Peter suddenly has an epiphany while watching the post-game show: the teams that defeat the Patriots consistently thank God for carrying them to victory.
TV-14
7:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Fresh Heir
Peter breaks his promise to take Chris on a fishing trip, leaving Chris feeling rejected. Lois suggests he spend more time with Carter, who has a broken leg and needs someone to take care of him.
TV-14
8:00 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Secondhand Spoke
Peter discovers he can skip out of work by taking smoke breaks. He begins smoking to dodge other tasks and soon gets addicted. When he wakes up one day with sunken cheeks and gray skin, Lois pushes him to visit a smoking rehab clinic.
TV-14
8:30 pm
American Dad
Hayley Smith, Seal Team Six
Hayley mentally regresses to a six-year-old. Steve and his pals get a slow cooker.
TV-14
9:00 pm
Angie Tribeca
Famous Ventriloquist Did It, The
A ventriloquist is dead and the lieutenant is just sick about it. On the case, Tribeca delves into the salacious world of American ventriloquism. The only problem Geils always wanted to be a ventriloquist, which may not sound like a problem but is.
TV-PG
9:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Simpsons Guy
The GriffinĂs are forced to flee their hometown of Quahog after PeterĂs offensive newspaper comics spark uproar amongst the local townspeople. Driving through the night, the GriffinĂs arrive in a small suburban town called ˘Springfield÷.
TV-14
10:30 pm
Full Frontal with Samantha Bee
Episode 1001
Samantha Bee goes on the road with the Jeb Bush campaign.
TV-MA
11:00 pm
Conan (CC)
Episode 6843
Guests: Ray Romano, PewDiePie, Dulce Sloan
TV-14
12:00 am
Angie Tribeca
Famous Ventriloquist Did It, The
A ventriloquist is dead and the lieutenant is just sick about it. On the case, Tribeca delves into the salacious world of American ventriloquism. The only problem Geils always wanted to be a ventriloquist, which may not sound like a problem but is.
TV-PG
12:30 am
Conan (CC)
Episode 6843
Guests: Ray Romano, PewDiePie, Dulce Sloan
TV-14
1:30 am
Cougar Town (SAP)
Damaged By Love
TV-PG
2:00 am
Cougar Town (SAP)
Free Fallin'
TV-PG
2:30 am
Movie (DVS)
Life As We Know It
Holly Berenson is an up-and-coming caterer and Eric Messer is a promising network sports director. After a disastrous first date, the only thing they have in common is their dislike for each other and their love for their goddaughter, Sophie. But when they suddenly become all Sophie has in the world, Holly and Eric are forced to put their differences aside. Juggling career ambitions and competing social calendars, they''ll have to find some common ground while living under one roof.
TV-14
5:00 am
America's Funniest Home Videos
AFHV #2515
TV-G
 

Tuesday, February 9

6:00 am
Married With Children
Take My Wife, Please
On Halloween, Al is left to face Death as Peggy and the kids are recruited to fill in for the Village People.
TV-PG
6:30 am
Married With Children
Scared Single
Al tries to counsel a new employee against marriage.
TV-PG
7:00 am
Married With Children
NO MA'AM
TV-PG
7:30 am
Married With Children
Dances with Weezy
TV-PG
8:00 am
Married With Children
Change for a Buck
TV-PG
8:30 am
Married With Children
Little off the Top, A
TV-PG
9:00 am
King of Queens, The
Dreading Vows
Doug and Carrie decide to renew their wedding vows, then try to cancel the ceremony; Arthur debates keeping his wedding present for himself.
TV-PG
9:30 am
King of Queens, The
Doug Less (1)
Newly slim Doug surprises Carrie with a romantic getaway to a resort in the mountain; romance turns to anger when Carrie discovers that Doug was at the same resort with an old girlfriend.
TV-PG
10:00 am
King of Queens, The
Doug Less (2)
Newly slim Doug surprises Carrie with a romantic getaway to a resort in the mountain; romance turns to anger when Carrie discovers that Doug was at the same resort with an old girlfriend.
TV-PG
10:30 am
King of Queens, The
Nocturnal Omission
Doug decides not to ruin Deacon's weekend with a beautiful stewardess by telling him about his ex-wife's plans.
TV-14
11:00 am
Cleveland Show, The
One About Friends, The
Cleveland tries to pair up Cleveland Jr. with Lester's son, Ernie, but things backfire when Child Services puts Ernie in a foster home; Tim and Holt take a trip to Las Vegas.
TV-14
11:30 am
Cleveland Show, The
Birth of a Salesman
Tim helps Cleveland find a position at the cable television company where he works, only to grow jealous when Cleveland excels at his job.
TV-14
12:00 pm
American Dad
Finger Lenting Good
Francine asks her family to give up their vices for Lent or risk losing a finger.
TV-14
12:30 pm
American Dad
Adventures of Twill Ongenbone and His Boy Jabari, The
Francine tries to teach Roger the value of hard work after he fakes a masters degree and buys an Oscar. Steve interviews Stan for a personal history assignment at school.
TV-14
1:00 pm
American Dad
Blood Crieth Unto Heaven
In a tribute to and send-up of the Pulitzer Prize-winning play, "August: Osage County," a dark secret is revealed about the Smith family's past when Francine invites Stan's incarcerated dad, Jack, to Stan's birthday party. Also in this spoof, Roger plays Edna, a maid who nurses Bullock and Hayley's love child. But when Edna falls in love with Bullock, it could mean dire consequences for the kid.
TV-14
1:30 pm
American Dad
Max Jets
Roger announces that "Max Jets," a character of Roger's who enjoys showering the Smith family with money, is soon getting out of prison. But a wrench is thrown in the system when Max falls in love with Gina, a gold-digging waitress who threatens the family's inheritance.
TV-14
2:00 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Let's Go To The Hop
Peter infiltrates Quahog High School as a new student; guest voice Gregg Allman.
TV-14
2:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Dammit Janet
Lois enrolls Stewie at a day care center.
TV-14
3:00 pm
New Girl
Exes
When Nick has an awkward run-in with his ex, Caroline, Jess tries to convince him he can still be friends with her by introducing him to her former boyfriend, Berkley. Meanwhile, Coach uses Schmidt's loft to impress a date, but things turn farcically disastrous when Schmidt arrives home with his own potential bedmate.
TV-14
3:30 pm
New Girl
Sister
Jess' wild-child sister, Abby, pays a visit and immediately throws the loft into disarray. Meanwhile, Schmidt enlists Nick to be his wingman in crashing a bar mitzvah and Winston throws a dinner party with Bertie, which turns awkward when only Cece and Coach attend.
TV-14
4:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With All the Jealousy, The
Ross overreacts when Rachel starts working with a handsome guy. Monica becomes enamored with a sexy busboy.
TV-PG
4:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where Monica And Richard Are Just Friends, The
When Monica and Richard (TOM SELLECK) accidentally meet, they decide to become friends -- with dire consequences.
TV-14
5:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With Phoebe's Ex-Partner, The
Phoebe's ex-singing partner wants to make Phoebe's signature song, "Smelly Cat," a commercial success. Chandler dates a woman (SHERILYN FENN) with a handicap.
TV-PG
5:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where Ross And Rachel Take a Break (Part 1), The
Phoebe becomes involved with a foreign diplomat. Ross becomes involved with another woman after a fight with Rachel.
TV-PG
6:00 pm
Seinfeld
Van Buren Boys, The
George interviews student candidates for Susan's scholarship.
TV-PG
6:30 pm
Seinfeld
Susie, The
Elaine creates an alternate persona at work; George tries to keep a girlfriend.
TV-PG
7:00 pm
Seinfeld
Pothole, The
George takes extreme measures to locate his lost Yankees key ring.
TV-PG
7:30 pm
Seinfeld
English Patient, The
Jerry lifts weights with his parents' Florida neighbor (Lloyd Bridges).
TV-PG
8:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Financial Permeability, The
When Sheldon loans money to Penny so she can pay her rent, it leads to Leonard coming face-to-face with her ex, Kurt.
TV-PG
8:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Maternal Capacitance, The
A visit from Leonard's mother (Christine Baranski) ends up bringing him and Penny closer.
TV-PG
9:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Cushion Saturation, The
Paintball leads to a squabble between Sheldon and Penny, as well as romance between Howard and Leslie.
TV-14
9:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Terminator Decoupling, The
The gang is thrilled when they see Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles' Summer Glau is also aboard their train to San Francisco for a scientific symposium. Meanwhile, Sheldon frets over having forgotten a paper he wants to present to George Smoot.
TV-PG
10:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Work Song Nanocluster, The
Penny's business selling hair accessories out of her apartment gets out of hand when an over-caffeinated Sheldon takes charge.
TV-14
10:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Dead Hooker Juxtaposition, The
Penny feels threatened when another sexy woman moves into the apartment building and angered when she senses the guys are being taken advantage of.
TV-14
11:00 pm
Conan (CC)
Episode 6844
Guests: Adam Cayton-Holland
TV-14
12:00 am
2 Broke Girls (DVS)
And the Kitty Kitty Spank Spank
When Max becomes smitten with an old stray cat that's been hanging around the apartment, Caroline tries to convince her they need to find it a better home. But just when they think they've found one, the cat's fate takes a turn.
TV-14
12:30 am
Conan (CC)
Episode 6844
Guests: Adam Cayton-Holland
TV-14
1:30 am
Cougar Town (SAP)
Something Good Coming (Part 1 of 2)
TV-PG
2:00 am
Cougar Town (SAP)
Something Good Coming (Part 2 of 2)
TV-PG
2:30 am
Movie
Father of the Bride
A proud father faces wedding planners, florists and caterers as he prepares for his daughter''''s wedding.
TV-PG
4:30 am
America's Funniest Home Videos
AFHV #2516
TV-G
5:30 am
Married With Children
Worst Noel, The
TV-PG
 

Wednesday, February 10

6:00 am
Married With Children
Honey, I Blew Up Myself
TV-PG
6:30 am
Married With Children
Sofa So Good
TV-PG
7:00 am
Married With Children
How Green was My Apple
The Bundy's and the D'Arcys go to war over a property line dispute.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Married With Children
Get Outta Dodge
When Al's old Dodge approaches the one million mark, the manufacturer offers to highlight it in a commercial--in exchange for a brand new sports car.
TV-PG
8:00 am
Married With Children
Valentine's Day Massacre
When Bud discovers a long-lost Valentine's card a girlfriend had sent him a year ago, he goes on a mission to find his "lost love."
TV-PG
8:30 am
Married With Children
Field of Screams
Al fights to keep an auto factory from replacing his high school football field.
TV-PG
9:00 am
King of Queens, The
Secret Garden
Carrie's relationship with her gynecologist (Judge Reinhold) is in jeopardy when Doug's cousin charges the doctor more than he quoted for landscaping work.
TV-14
9:30 am
King of Queens, The
Affidavit Justice
When the partners of Carrie's law firm notice Doug's softball skills, they ask him to pretend he is a lawyer and play on the company team; Arthur believes his great-grandfather was a slave owner.
TV-PG
10:00 am
King of Queens, The
Dougie Houser
Carrie reminds Doug of a past incident when he wants to buy a chainsaw from an infomercial.
TV-PG
10:30 am
King of Queens, The
Eggsit Strategy
After hearing of possible layoffs at her law firm, Carrie begins to worry about her own job security; Doug loses Deacon's lucky Koosh ball.
TV-PG
11:00 am
Cleveland Show, The
Cleveland Jr.'s Cherry Bomb
In an attempt to keep Roberta from having sex with Federline Jones, Cleveland takes the family to chuch...where Cleveland Jr. pledges to maintain his virginity.
TV-14
11:30 am
Cleveland Show, The
Ladies' Night
Tired of attending social gatherings with neighbors, Donna sneaks off and, pretending she's still unmarried, spends time with her friends at a single mothers group; Rallo helps Junior run for student council president.
TV-14
12:00 pm
American Dad
Naked to the Limit, One More Time
Roger pretends to be Jeff's imaginary friend so he can roam naked around the house with no disguise. But when big-mouth Jeff figures out that Roger is an alien, Stan issues an ultimatum: either Roger or Jeff must be killed immediately. Meanwhile, Steve becomes insecure about the shape of his rear end.
TV-14
12:30 pm
American Dad
For Black Eyes Only
In Part 2 of "The Tearjerker Saga," a "James Bond" parody, Stan's honeymoon with his wife, Sexpun Tocome, is brutally interrupted when Black Villain (guest voice Kevin Michael Richardson) fatally shoots Sexpun. Determined to get his revenge, Stan teams up with former nemesis The Tearjerker to track down Black Villain and put a stop to his evil plan to melt the arctic glaciers.
TV-14
1:00 pm
American Dad
Spelling Bee My Baby
Francine pressures Steve to win the National Spelling Bee so he can get into a top college. Stan and Roger try to slam Hayley through the five stages of grief so she will get over Jeff faster.
TV-14
1:30 pm
American Dad
Missing Kink, The
Francine discovers she has a spanking fetish; Hayley goes out on a date with Snot.
TV-14
2:00 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
There's Something About Paulie
As a favor, Peter takes a mobster's nephew to a movie.
TV-14
2:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
He's Too Sexy For His Fat
Peter talks himself into getting liposuction and other plastic surgery.
TV-14
3:00 pm
New Girl
Sister II
Jess panics when her sister, Abby, decides to stay in Los Angeles and sets her eyes on one of the loft-mates. Meanwhile, Winston procrastinates about checking his test results for the LAPD entrance exam.
TV-14
3:30 pm
New Girl
Sister III
Abby and Schmidt's warp speed relationship - already having moved in together - causes Jess to reevaluate her and Nick's need for space and independence. Cece too is troubled by the way Abby has Schmidt under her control and is worried that she's once again running a scam and taking advantage of Schmidt's generosity.
TV-14
4:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One the Morning After (Part 2), The
Ross wakes up with Chloe, but an oblivious Rachel wants to resume their relationship.
TV-PG
4:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Without the Ski Trip, The
Ross and Rachel remain apart while their friends feel forced to choose between them.
TV-PG
5:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With the Hypnosis Tape, The
Phoebe is distraught when her brother wants to marry a woman twice his age. While working as a waitress, Monica gets a tip from an admirer worth a small fortune. A hypnosis tape makes Chandler act like a woman.
TV-PG
5:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With the Tiny T-Shirt, The
Ross is upset when Rachel returns his personal belongings and dates Mark. Monica dates a millionaire.
TV-PG
6:00 pm
Seinfeld
Nap, The
George discovers how to take a nap at work and not get caught.
TV-PG
6:30 pm
Seinfeld
Yada Yada, The
George realizes his girlfriend's slang may leave out vital information.
TV-PG
7:00 pm
Seinfeld
Millennium, The
Newman nixes Kramer's millennium-party plans; Jerry obsesses about his position on his girlfriend's speed dial.
TV-PG
7:30 pm
Seinfeld
Muffin Tops, The
Elaine becomes a partner in a muffin business; Jerry shaves his chest.
TV-PG
8:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Hofstadter Isotope, The
A fellow comic book enthusiast's hitting on Penny leads to Leonard, Raj, and Howard going to a bar's Ladies' Night.
TV-PG
8:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Vegas Renormalization, The
Leonard and Raj take Wolowitz to Las Vegas to help him get over his break-up with Leslie (Sara Gilbert). Sheldon, home alone and looking forward to it, locks himself out and has only one other place to stay; Penny's.
TV-14
9:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Classified Materials Turbulence, The
Leonard is torn between being honest or self-serving when Stuart asks his advice for an upcoming second date with Penny. Wolowitz realizes there's a crucial error in a toilet he designed for the International Space Station.
TV-PG
9:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Monopolar Expedition, The
The guys' prestigious offer to work over the summer at the North Pole; and Penny's resultant behavior; leaves Leonard unsure if he should go.
TV-PG
10:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Electric Can Opener Fluctuation, The
Discovering that Leonard, Raj, and Howard fudged the results of his Arctic research expedition, a disgraced Sheldon heads home to Texas.
TV-PG
10:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Jiminy Conjecture, The
Sheldon and Howard wager comic books over a cricket's species. Meanwhile, a less-than-perfect romantic night agonizes Leonard and Penny.
TV-PG
11:00 pm
Conan (CC)
Episode 6845
Guests: Chelsea Handler, Jason Mantzoukas, Lianne La Havas
TV-14
12:00 am
2 Broke Girls (SAP)
And the Group Head
When Max and Caroline can't figure out how to use the new cappuccino maker they bought for their cupcake business, they take temporary side jobs as baristas at a coffee house to learn the ropes.
TV-14
12:30 am
Conan (CC)
Episode 6845
Guests: Chelsea Handler, Jason Mantzoukas, Lianne La Havas
TV-14
1:30 am
Cougar Town (SAP)
Ain't Love Strange
Jules is miffed when Grayson (who has an ulterior motive) calls her "predictable;" Ellie frets that little Stan is turning into a "devil child," or even worse, could grow up to be like Laurie; and Travis likes his new off campus housing, until Bobby tries to convince him to take dog Travis in, on "Cougar Town."
TV-PG
2:00 am
Cougar Town (SAP)
Mind With a Heart of Its Own, A
Jules ends up asking both Ellie and Laurie to be her "co-maids" of honor because she can't stand to hurt anyone's feelings; and Grayson tries to ask Chick (guest star Ken Jenkins, "Scrubs") for Jules' hand in marriage formally, but Chick decides to have a little fun in the process, on "Cougar Town."
TV-PG
2:30 am
Movie
Father of the Bride II
Still young at heart, and fully recovered after having been the "Father of the Bride," George Banks finally feels content. His wife Nina loves him as deeply as he loves her. his daughter Annie, and son-in-law Bryan, are happily married and each are responsible working adults. With his son Matty growing into a young man, and the mortgage to his dream house fully paid off, George feels he''s finally ahead of the game. And that''s when his life turns upside down. First Annie and Bryan unexpectedly announce they''re going to be parents. Then, a short while later, it''s Nina''s turn to make the same shocking speech to George. They too, are going to have a baby! George is reeling. He feels much to young to be a grandfather--and way too old to be a father again. And when Annie and Nina call on the flamboyant Franck Egglehoffer to coordinate their double baby shower, George seeks out his own unique way to cope with this ''90s style mid-life crisis.
TV-PG
4:30 am
America's Funniest Home Videos
AFHV #2517
TV-G
5:30 am
Married With Children
D'Arcy Files, The
Jefferson reveals his past life as a spy.
TV-PG
 

Thursday, February 11

6:00 am
Married With Children
Legend of Ironhead Haynes, The
When Al's sarcasm costs him his prized parking space, he turns to a manly hero for advice.
TV-PG
6:30 am
Married With Children
Nooner or Nothing
To win a contest, Peggy must persuade Al to come home from work to engage in some afternoon hanky-panky.
TV-PG
7:00 am
Married With Children
Kelly Knows Something
After their television breaks down and Al finds a way to win a large sum of money to buy a replacement, he auditions to be a contestant on a new sports trivia game show. However, after he is turned down because he lacks personality, he enlists Kelly to take his place.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Married With Children
Assault and Batteries
Household chores threaten Al's chance to see a favorite old movie.
TV-PG
8:00 am
Married With Children
Ride Scare
Al becomes an environmental hero and celebrity.
TV-PG
8:30 am
Married With Children
Al Goes Deep
A football star's romance with Kelly jeopardizes Jefferson's lifesaving wager on a big game.
TV-PG
9:00 am
King of Queens, The
American Idle
Doug gets annoyed when Carrie loses her job and refuses to look for a new one.
TV-PG
9:30 am
King of Queens, The
Frigid Heirs
After Arthur wins $2,500 playing bingo, a dispute erupts over how the money should be spent.
TV-PG
10:00 am
King of Queens, The
Switch Sitters
Deacon and Kelly decide to take Arthur out to dinner so Doug and Carrie can be alone, but they ignore a warning about Arthur's reaction to spicy food.
TV-PG
10:30 am
King of Queens, The
Cheap Saks
Carrie discovers Doug's annoying ex-girlfriend (Janeane Garofalo) has an employee discount at Saks Fifth Avenue.
TV-PG
11:00 am
Cleveland Show, The
Brown Thanksgiving, A
While celebrating Thanksgiving with his parents and family, Cleveland discovers that Donna's Auntie Momma is transgendered; Roberta and Federline end up at a homeless mission after Federline's car is stolen.
TV-14
11:30 am
Cleveland Show, The
From Bed to Worse
After tiring of Cleveland's presence at the house, Rallo decides to drive a wedge between Cleveland and Donna by sleeping in their bed.
TV-14
12:00 pm
American Dad
Boring Identity, The
When Stan loses his memory, Francine attempts to transform him into the perfect husband; Roger joins Steve's newspaper route.
TV-14
12:30 pm
American Dad
Full Cognitive Redaction of Avery Bullock by the Coward Stan Smith, The
Stan learns that the CIA wants to wipe out Bullock's memory after he exhibits signs of dementia; Roger hires Stelio Kontos to deal with a student who's bullying Steve at school.
TV-14
1:00 pm
American Dad
Lost in Space
In order to return to Earth, the space-bound Jeff must convince an emperor that he is in love with Hayley.
TV-14
1:30 pm
American Dad
Da Flippity Flop
Klaus swaps bodies with Stan after discovering that his original human body is on ice at the CIA; after converting the attic into a gym, Roger attempts to convince Stan to sign up for a lifetime membership.
TV-14
2:00 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
E Peterbus Unum
Peter declares his land a country and makes himself president.
TV-14
2:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Story On Page One, The
Meg writes for the school paper to improve her Ivy League chances.
TV-14
3:00 pm
New Girl
Mars Landing
Jess and Nick face some truths about their relationship, while Schmidt, Winston and Coach scramble to make a better second impression on their hot new neighbors. Also, Cece panics after she drunk-texts Buster.
TV-14
3:30 pm
New Girl
Fired Up
Jess hires, then must immediately fire Coach as her school's new volleyball coach. Meanwhile, Schmidt gets sued and enlists Nick and a procedural television-loving Winston to represent him at the deposition. Also, Cece catches the eye of a much younger man.
TV-14
4:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With the Dollhouse, The
Joey thinks he's found his true love. Rachel's boss (ALISON LaPLACA) dates Chandler, creating big trouble for Rachel. Monica inherits a dollhouse.
TV-14
4:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With Joey's New Girlfriend, The
Joey thinks that Chandler hates Joey's new girlfriend--but the truth could be even more upsetting. Ross and Rachel try to make each other jealous.
TV-14
5:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With the Dirty Girl, The
Ross' beautiful new girlfriend has a disgusting secret. Chandler becomes more familiar with Joey's girlfriend.
TV-PG
5:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where Chandler Crosses the Line, The
Chandler is guilt-ridden after kissing Joey's girlfriend. Ross' musical talents are not as amazing as he and Phoebe think
TV-PG
6:00 pm
Seinfeld
Summer of George, The
George plans a vacation; Elaine critiques a co-worker (Molly Shannon); guest Raquel Welch.
TV-PG
6:30 pm
Seinfeld
Outing, The
Jerry tries to refute reports that he and George are lovers; guest Paula Marshall.
TV-PG
7:00 pm
Seinfeld
Shoes, The
Jerry and George struggle to keep their idea for a TV series alive.
TV-PG
7:30 pm
Seinfeld
Old Man, The
Jerry, George and Elaine volunteer to help senior citizens; guest Edie McClurg.
TV-PG
8:00 pm
2 Broke Girls (DVS)
And the Cronuts
When Max and Caroline start losing business to the new "cronut" craze (half-croissant, half-donut), they come up with their own trend: cake fries.
TV-14
8:30 pm
2 Broke Girls (DVS)
And the Piece of Sheet
Caroline buys Max a new bedding set and gives away the old sheets to charity without realizing they had sentimental value to her.
TV-14
9:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Gothowitz Deviation, The
Howard takes Raj along to check out the Goth dating scene. Sheldon uses chocolate as part of a behavior modification experiment on Penny.
TV-PG
9:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Pirate Solution, The
Facing a return to India, Raj needs a job desperately enough to consider working for Sheldon. Meanwhile, Howard becomes a third wheel to Leonard and Penny.
TV-PG
10:00 pm
2 Broke Girls (DVS)
And the Girlfriend Experience
Han asks Max and Caroline to convince a stripper to pretend to be his girlfriend when his mother visits from Korea.
TV-14
10:30 pm
2 Broke Girls (DVS)
And the "It" Hole
Caroline's date is a no-show after promising to take her to one of the city's hippest new restaurants, so she and Max decide to take advantage of the hard-to-get reservation.
TV-14
11:00 pm
Conan (CC)
Episode 6846
Guests: Carl Reiner, Jacob Tremblay, Emily King
TV-14
12:00 am
Full Frontal with Samantha Bee
Episode 1001
Samantha Bee goes on the road with the Jeb Bush campaign.
TV-MA
12:30 am
Conan (CC)
Episode 6846
Guests: Carl Reiner, Jacob Tremblay, Emily King
TV-14
1:30 am
Cougar Town (SAP)
Lover's Touch
There is no time for romance when you're planning a wedding, and Jules is in full "AWATT" mode (All Wedding All the Time), until Travis is in an accident and rushed to the hospital. Meanwhile Grayson is feeling neglected by Jules, so the guys try to cheer him up by inventing a new game called "D-Ball," and things get dangerous when Laurie and Ellie want to play, on "Cougar Town."
TV-PG
2:00 am
Cougar Town (SAP)
Full Moon Fever
One look is all it takes for Bobby to fall for Travis' photography professor (guest star Sarah Chalke as Angie), but Travis refuses to introduce them; Laurie falls for a guy she's never met when she begins a romance, via twitter, with a soldier in Iraq; and Jules and Andy prepare to go to war against an unruly gang of kids on bikes who are terrorizing the cul-de-sac, on "Cougar Town."
TV-PG
2:30 am
Movie
Just Like Heaven
When David sublets his quaint San Francisco apartment, the last thing he expects--or wants--is a roommate. He begins to make a complete mess of the place when a pretty young woman, named Elizabeth, suddenly shows up, adamantly insisting the apartment is hers. David assumes that there''s been a giant misunderstanding, until Elizabeth disappears just as mysteriously as she had appeared. Changing the locks does nothing to deter Elizabeth, who begins to appear and disappear at will--mostly to rebuke David for his personal living habits in her apartment. Convinced that she is a ghost, David tries to help Elizabeth cross over to the "other side." But while Elizabeth has discovered she does have a distinctly ethereal quality--she can walk through walls--she is equally convinced that she is somehow still alive and isn''t crossing over anywhere. As Elizabeth and David search for the truth about who Elizabeth is and how she came to be in her present state, their relationship deepens into love. Unfortunately, they have very little time before their prospects for a future together permanently fade away.
TV-PG
4:30 am
America's Funniest Home Videos
AFHV #2518
TV-G
5:30 am
Married With Children
Shoeway to Heaven
Al and Jefferson become vintage shoe entrepreneurs.
TV-PG
 

Friday, February 12

6:00 am
Married With Children
Driving Mr. Boondy
Al must brave the department of motor vehicles to renew his driver's license, but discovers that his fate lies in Bud's hands.
TV-PG
6:30 am
Married With Children
Kelly Breaks Out
An untimely pimple threatens Kelly's acting career.
TV-PG
7:00 am
Married With Children
Naughty but Niece
Bud is distracted by Marcy's sexy niece.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Married With Children
Business Sucks (1)
Al refuses to allow breast feeding in the shoe store.
TV-PG
8:00 am
Married With Children
Business Still Sucks (2)
Al's battle against breast feeding lands him in trouble with the store's owner.
TV-PG
8:30 am
Married With Children
Dial "B" for Virgin
Bud is tapped to run a phone hot line for virgins.
TV-PG
9:00 am
Married With Children
Sleepless in Chicago
Al must sleep with Marcy so that Jefferson can cash in her valuable Barbie doll.
TV-PG
9:30 am
King of Queens, The
Damned Yankee
Carrie catches Doug fantasizing about other women while he is under sedation at the hospital.
TV-PG
10:00 am
King of Queens, The
Multiple Plots
Carrie, still unemployed, helps Holly with dog walking; Arthur sells his burial plot to Spence's mother, Veronica (Anne Meara).
TV-PG
10:30 am
King of Queens, The
Trash Talker
Doug's grade school nemesis (Jon Favreau) is Deacon's new friend and may become Carrie's new boss.
TV-PG
11:00 am
Cleveland Show, The
Cleveland Brown Christmas, A
Cleveland discovers that Donna has been lying to Rallo as to why Robert never shows up for Christmas...and makes it his mission to reconnect father and son.
TV-14
11:30 am
Cleveland Show, The
Field of Streams
After raising money to rebuild the high school's sports stadium, Cleveland becomes the baseball team's coach...and attempts to convince his son to play ball.
TV-14
12:00 pm
American Dad
Steve and Snot's Test-Tubular Adventure
Stan reveals that the C.I.A. has a cloning machine at work. Steve and Snot decide to use the machine to clone girls so that they will finally have prom dates. The cloning process backfires as the girls emerge as babies.
TV-14
12:30 pm
American Dad
Poltergasm
Steve and Roger discover that the house is haunted. The ghost appears as an apparition of a younger Francine. The ghost grows more powerful until it attacks Hayley's boyfriend and pulls him into the netherworld.
TV-14
1:00 pm
American Dad
Buck, Wild
Steve is eager to prove that he's no longer a little boy, so he sets off to prove his manhood by joining Stan, Bullock, and the rest of the CIA on their annual hunting trip. Meanwhile, Roger and Klaus set off on a cross-country road trip.
TV-14
1:30 pm
American Dad
Crotchwalkers
In a desperate attempt to show Steve that she's still a "cool" mom, Francine teaches him a vast array of shoplifting techniques to try out at the local mall. When their attempt to pull off the ultimate heist at "The Gash" goes awry, Steve is captured and sent to a Venezuelan sweatshop. Meanwhile, Roger, Hayley and Klaus form Langley Falls' first Russian Balalaika trio.
TV-14
2:00 pm
American Dad
Kung Pao Turkey
Stan's plans for a perfect Thanksgiving watching football in his underwear are thwarted when Francine invites her adoptive parents to join them for the holiday. Meanwhile, Francine's mom encourages Hayley to get back on the dating scene and invites an eligible bachelor over, but her true intentions are revealed at Thanksgiving dinner.
TV-14
2:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Wasted Talent
Peter and his friends go on a drinking binge to find a winning ticket in a bottle; Lois works Ling too hard for a competition.
TV-14
3:00 pm
New Girl
Big News
The morning after their break-up, Jess and Nick scramble to keep it a secret from the loftmates. Meanwhile, Winston passes his police academy entrance exam, and demands that the gang throw him a "Honey Roast."
TV-14
3:30 pm
New Girl
Dance
Jess fears someone is trying to sabotage her first middle school dance, and she enlists the gang to help her chaperone on the big night.
TV-14
4:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where They're Going To Party!, The
The guys try to be spontaneous and wild. After Monica gives a bad restaurant review, she receives a new career opportunity. Rachel's boss offers her a promotion.
TV-PG
4:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With Phoebe's Uterus, The
Phoebe's half-brother makes an astounding announcement and a thought-provoking request. Joey finds himself in a class struggle.
TV-14
5:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With the Embryos, The
Phoebe finds out whether she is pregnant or not. A simple challenge escalates into a full-blown contest between the guys and the women.
TV-PG
5:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With Rachel's Crush, The
Rachel schemes to get a handsome client to ask her on a date. Chandler's jealousy causes problems with his girlfriend.
TV-PG
6:00 pm
Seinfeld
Implant, The
Elaine says Jerry's girlfriend (Teri Hatcher) has implants, so he dumps her.
TV-PG
6:30 pm
Seinfeld
Handicap Spot, The
George parks in a handicapped spot, inciting an angry mob.
TV-PG
7:00 pm
Seinfeld
Highlights of a Hundred (Part 1)
Jerry Seinfeld presents highlights from the series' first 100 episodes.
TV-PG
7:30 pm
Seinfeld
Highlights of a Hundred (Part 2)
Jerry Seinfeld presents highlights from the series' first 100 episodes.
TV-PG
8:00 pm
2 Broke Girls (DVS)
And the Pastry Porn
Max applies to the Manhattan School of Pastry and bakes a tart for the entrance exam.
TV-14
8:30 pm
2 Broke Girls (DVS)
And the First Day of School
Max attempts to make a good impression on her first day of pastry school, but finds the class clown to be extremely distracting - and intriguing.
TV-14
9:00 pm
2 Broke Girls (DVS)
And the Life After Death
Caroline learns that her childhood nanny passed away and brings Max with her to attend the funeral. But once there she discovers that the woman never spoke of Caroline to her own family.
TV-PG
9:30 pm
2 Broke Girls (DVS)
And the French Kiss
After a great make-out session with Max's teacher, Caroline learns a secret about him that she wishes she'd known beforehand.
TV-14
10:00 pm
Movie (DVS)
Pacifier, The
Assigned to protect the endangered children of an assassinated scientist working on a secret invention, Shane Wolfe is suddenly faced with juggling two incompatible jobs: fighting evil while keeping house. As he adds to his usual arsenal of wetsuits and weapons the new tools of juice boxes and a minivan, Shane not only must defeat a world-threatening enemy but also wrangle teen rebel Zoe, uplift sullen 14-year-old Seth and outwit 8-year-old Ninja-wannabe Lulu, simultaneously keeping toddler Peter and baby Tyler out of mischief, not to mention harm's way. While drop zones, demolitions and destroying enemy targets come naturally to Shane, he has no idea what tough really is until he pits his courage against diapering, den-mothering and driver's education. He's truly a S.E.A.L. out of water, but this tough-guy loner soon realizes that he's also facing the most important mission of his life: becoming part of a family and bringing them all closer together.
TV-PG
12:00 am
Angie Tribeca
Famous Ventriloquist Did It, The
A ventriloquist is dead and the lieutenant is just sick about it. On the case, Tribeca delves into the salacious world of American ventriloquism. The only problem Geils always wanted to be a ventriloquist, which may not sound like a problem but is.
TV-PG
12:30 am
Full Frontal with Samantha Bee
Episode 1001
Samantha Bee goes on the road with the Jeb Bush campaign.
TV-MA
1:00 am
Cougar Town (SAP)
One Story Town, A
Jules and the gang decide Bobby needs some help romancing Angie (guest star Sarah Chalke) so they launch "operation kiss-the-girl." Meanwhile, other former "Scrubs" cast turn up, as Ted (Sam Lloyd) and the Peons pass through on their way to audition at Disney World, on "Cougar Town."
TV-PG
1:30 am
Cougar Town (SAP)
Something Big
Just as Jules is trying to work through Grayson's "baggage" from his wild single days, a chance encounter with a former fling, Holly (guest star Briga Heelan), ends with him learning that he's the father of a one-year-old baby girl he never knew he had, on "Cougar Town." Nicole Sullivan guest stars as Lynn Mettler, Jules and Grayson's pre-marriage counselor, and Sarah Chalke guest stars as Angie.
TV-PG
2:00 am
Movie
Terminal, The
Viktor Navorski is a visitor to New York from Eastern Europe. His homeland erupts in a fiery coup, while he is in the air en route to America. Stranded at Kennedy Airport with a passport from nowhere, he is unauthorized to actually enter the United States and must improvise his days and nights in the terminal's international transit lounge, until the war at home is over. As the weeks and months stretch on, Viktor finds the compressed universe of the terminal to be a richly complex world of absurdity, generosity, ambition, amusement, status, serendipity--and even romance with a beautiful flight attendant named Amelia. But he has long worn out his welcome with airport official Frank Dixon, who considers Viktor a bureaucratic glitch--a problem he cannot control but wants desperately to erase.
TV-PG
4:45 am
TBS Network Preview
Episode 1
A backstage peek at TBS's original programs.
5:00 am
America's Funniest Home Videos
AFHV #2519
TV-G
 

Saturday, February 13

6:00 am
Married With Children
No Pot to Pease In
The Bundys and D'Arcys discover a new TV show modeled after their lives.
TV-PG
6:30 am
Married With Children
Dud Bowl
Al reunites his old high school football team to play the championship game that never was.
TV-PG
7:00 am
Full House
Pinch for a Pinch, A
Without Danny's knowledge, Jesse gives Michelle some very questionable advice on handling a bully and removes her from preschool.
TV-G
7:30 am
Full House
Viva Las Joey
When Joey performs his comedy act in Las Vegas, his estranged father arrives unexpectedly--giving father and son the opportunity to reconcile their differences.
TV-G
8:00 am
Full House
Shape Up
D.J. goes on a strict diet so she can wear a bikini to Kimmy's birthday party.
TV-G
8:30 am
Full House
One Last Kiss
When Jesse attends his high school reunion, he finds that he's still attracted to his high school sweetheart, although he's engaged to Rebecca.
TV-G
9:00 am
Full House
Terror in Tanner Town
Danny invites his new girlfriend, Cindy, and her son, Rusty, to dinner. When an emergency happens, Cindy is forced to leave early without Rusty, who stays and annoys everyone in the house with his mischief.
TV-G
9:30 am
Full House
Secret Admirer
An unsigned love note causes nearly everyone in the Tanner family to believe he or she has a secret admirer.
TV-G
10:00 am
Movie (DVS)
It's Complicated
Jane is the mother of three grown kids, owns a thriving Santa Barbara bakery/restaurant and has-after a decade of divorce-an amicable relationship with her ex-husband, attorney Jake. But when Jane and Jake find themselves out of town for their son''s college graduation, things start to get complicated. An innocent meal together turns into the unimaginable-an affair. With Jake remarried to the much younger Agness, Jane is now, of all things, the other woman. Caught in the middle of their renewed romance is Adam, an architect hired to remodel Jane''s kitchen. Healing from a divorce of his own, Adam starts to fall for Jane, but soon realizes he''s become part of a love triangle. Should Jane and Jake move on with their lives, or is love truly lovelier the second time around? It''s-complicated.
TV-14
12:30 pm
Movie (DVS)
Valentine's Day
Follows the intertwining storylines of a diverse group of Los Angelenos as they navigate their way through romance and heartbreak over the course of one Valentine''s Day. Couples and singles experience the pinnacles and pitfalls of finding, keeping or ending relationships in a day in the life of love.
TV-14
3:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With Joey's Dirty Day, The
CHARLTON HESTON (As Himself) finds Joey in a compromising position during a movie shoot. Rachel regrets asking Ross for a favor.
TV-14
3:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With All the Rugby, The
Chandler's annoying former girlfriend reappears. Ross plays rugby to impress Emily -- with painful results.
TV-PG
4:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With the Fake Party, The
Trying to become better acquainted with her sexy client, Rachel inadvertently thwarts Ross' plans for a romantic evening with his girlfriend.
TV-PG
4:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With the Free Porn, The
Monica helps Ross tell his girlfriend that he loves her. Phoebe gets some surprising news about her pregnancy.
TV-14
5:00 pm
2 Broke Girls (SAP)
And the Big But
Max wants to be more than friends with her pastry school partner; Caroline remains attracted to her married teacher.
TV-14
5:30 pm
2 Broke Girls (DVS)
And the Dumpster Sex
Deke takes Max to his place after a great first date, but his so-called home is nothing like she expected. Meanwhile, Caroline feels empowered and then scared after she has a shady-looking car towed from the front of the Cupcake window.
TV-14
6:00 pm
2 Broke Girls (DVS)
And the Icing on the Cake
When Deke invites Max's friends over to his dumpster house, Caroline learns a big secret about his background.
TV-14
6:30 pm
2 Broke Girls (DVS)
And the ATM
Max decides to break up with Deke now that she knows about his wealthy background.
TV-14
7:00 pm
2 Broke Girls (DVS)
And the Married Man Sleepover
Caroline asks Max and Deke to join on her dinner date at Nicholas' loft to make sure she doesn't do anything she might regret. Caroline and Max also treat themselves to very special hair appointments.
TV-14
7:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Creepy Candy Coating Corollary, The
Sheldon looks forward to squaring off against the the one actor from the Star Trek universe he holds enmity towards; Wil Wheaton; in a fantasy collectible card game tournament. Wolowitz cashes in on an old pact with Leonard to get Penny to set him up with a friend of hers.
TV-PG
8:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Cornhusker Vortex, The
Leonard, hoping to fit in with Penny's football-loving friends, gets tutored in the sport by Sheldon. Raj is infuriated when Wolowitz's skirt-chasing leads to the loss of his prized patang.
TV-PG
8:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Guitarist Amplification, The
Leonard and Penny's first big fight sees Sheldon playing mediator due to childhood trauma that's left him with an inability to be around loud verbal conflicts.
TV-PG
9:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Adhesive Duck Deficiency, The
With the rest of the gang off on a desert camping trip to view the Leonid meteor shower, Sheldon must play hero after Penny slips in the tub and dislocates her shoulder.
TV-PG
9:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Vengeance Formulation, The
Barry Kripke pranks Sheldon during his spot on NPR, leaving him with a taste for vengeance. Wolowitz, pressured by Bernadette to define their relationship, gets advice from a fantasy version of Katee Sackhoff.
TV-14
10:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Gorilla Experiment, The
Penny seeks Sheldon's help to better comprehend Leonard's physics work. Wolowitz sees green when Leonard invites Bernadette to watch an experiment.
TV-PG
10:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Maternal Congruence, The
A Christmas visit from his mother (Christine Baranski) has Leonard discovering she's kept a lot of news from him that she shares with Sheldon and worrying if she'll approve of his romance with Penny.
TV-PG
11:00 pm
Full Frontal with Samantha Bee
Episode 1001
Samantha Bee goes on the road with the Jeb Bush campaign.
TV-MA
11:30 pm
Angie Tribeca
Famous Ventriloquist Did It, The
A ventriloquist is dead and the lieutenant is just sick about it. On the case, Tribeca delves into the salacious world of American ventriloquism. The only problem Geils always wanted to be a ventriloquist, which may not sound like a problem but is.
TV-PG
12:00 am
Movie (DVS)
Valentine's Day
Follows the intertwining storylines of a diverse group of Los Angelenos as they navigate their way through romance and heartbreak over the course of one Valentine''s Day. Couples and singles experience the pinnacles and pitfalls of finding, keeping or ending relationships in a day in the life of love.
TV-14
2:30 am
Movie (DVS)
It's Complicated
Jane is the mother of three grown kids, owns a thriving Santa Barbara bakery/restaurant and has-after a decade of divorce-an amicable relationship with her ex-husband, attorney Jake. But when Jane and Jake find themselves out of town for their son''s college graduation, things start to get complicated. An innocent meal together turns into the unimaginable-an affair. With Jake remarried to the much younger Agness, Jane is now, of all things, the other woman. Caught in the middle of their renewed romance is Adam, an architect hired to remodel Jane''s kitchen. Healing from a divorce of his own, Adam starts to fall for Jane, but soon realizes he''s become part of a love triangle. Should Jane and Jake move on with their lives, or is love truly lovelier the second time around? It''s-complicated.
TV-14
5:00 am
America's Funniest Home Videos
AFHV #2520
TV-G
 

Sunday, February 14

6:00 am
Married With Children
Man for No Seasons, A
Al and his friends decide to remedy the professional baseball strike themselves.
TV-PG
6:30 am
Married With Children
Naked and the Dead, but Mostly the Naked, The
Al and his friends are forced to take their wives to a strip club.
TV-PG
7:00 am
Seinfeld
Face Painter, The
Elaine's boyfriend's behavior at a hockey game appalls her and Jerry.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Seinfeld
Butter Shave, The
Jerry gets upset when a lame comic follows his act; Kramer uses butter.
TV-PG
8:00 am
Seinfeld
Voice, The
Jerry takes an interest in a girlfriend's navel; Kramer hires an intern.
TV-PG
8:30 am
Seinfeld
Serenity Now, The
Jerry's new girlfriend (Lori Loughlin) encourages him to express his emotions.
TV-PG
9:00 am
Friends (SAP)
One With Rachel's New Dress, The
Ross and his ex-wife become jealous when their lovers go to England together. Rachel's plans to seduce her boyfriend go awry.
TV-PG
9:30 am
Friends (SAP)
One With All the Haste, The
Drastic changes occur in Ross' relationship with Emily. Monica and Rachel will do anything to get their old apartment back from the guys.
TV-PG
10:00 am
Friends (SAP)
One With All the Wedding Dresses, The
Rachel reacts drastically to Ross' engagement. Chandler becomes exasperated by Joey's snoring.
TV-PG
10:30 am
Friends (SAP)
One With the Invitation, The
Rachel and the engaged Ross reminisce separately about when they dated each other. The friends get invitations to Ross' wedding--but not all of them are going.
TV-PG
11:00 am
Movie
Cop Out
Two longtime NYPD partners on the trail of a stolen, rare, mint-condition baseball card find themselves up against a merciless, memorabilia-obsessed gangster. But before they can recover the prized `52 Pafko, they must first rescue a Mexican beauty who holds the key to millions of dollars in off-shore bank accounts-and who has already witnessed one high-profile murder because of them. Veteran detective Jimmy Monr needs to cash in on his perfect Pafko in order to pay for his daughter''s upcoming wedding, but in the tradition of everything that can go wrong--it''s pilfered before he has a chance to collect. Paul Hodges is Jimmy''s partner-against-crime, whose preoccupation with his wife''s alleged infidelity makes it hard for him to keep his eye on the ball, or his mind on the crime. Already in trouble and with nothing left to lose, Jimmy and Paul will have to break all the rules-including enlisting the aid of stoner thief Dave, who''s working Paul''s last nerve as Paul and Jimmy try to work the case.
TV-14
1:00 pm
Movie (DVS)
Pacifier, The
Assigned to protect the endangered children of an assassinated scientist working on a secret invention, Shane Wolfe is suddenly faced with juggling two incompatible jobs: fighting evil while keeping house. As he adds to his usual arsenal of wetsuits and weapons the new tools of juice boxes and a minivan, Shane not only must defeat a world-threatening enemy but also wrangle teen rebel Zoe, uplift sullen 14-year-old Seth and outwit 8-year-old Ninja-wannabe Lulu, simultaneously keeping toddler Peter and baby Tyler out of mischief, not to mention harm's way. While drop zones, demolitions and destroying enemy targets come naturally to Shane, he has no idea what tough really is until he pits his courage against diapering, den-mothering and driver's education. He's truly a S.E.A.L. out of water, but this tough-guy loner soon realizes that he's also facing the most important mission of his life: becoming part of a family and bringing them all closer together.
TV-PG
3:00 pm
Movie
Bad Boys II
Miami narcotics detectives Mike Lowrey and Marcus Burnett become part of a high-tech task force assigned to stem the flood of designer ecstasy into Miami. They unwittingly uncover a deadly conspiracy involving a ruthless drug lord who is determined to expand his empire and take control of the city''s burgeoning narcotics trade, killing anyone who stands in his way. To make matters worse, Marcus'' beautiful sister Syd, an undercover DEA agent, gets caught in the crossfire, forcing our heroes to the edge of the law. The assignment takes on further complications when romantic sparks start to fly between Mike and Syd, driving her overly protective brother completely around the bend. But Marcus and Mike must overcome their differences to bring down Tapia. And when Syd''s cover is jeopardized, it''s up to the Bad Boys to rescue her.
TV-14
6:00 pm
Movie (DVS)
Rush Hour 3
In the heart of Paris lies a deadly secret. Half a world away in Los Angeles, Ambassador Han is about to disclose it. In his possession is explosive new evidence about the inner workings of the Triads--the most powerful and notorious crime syndicate in the world. The Ambassador has discovered the identity of Shy Shen, the very crux of the wide-ranging crime ring, and he''s about to reveal it to the World Criminal Court--until he is silenced by an assassin''s bullet. The Triads will go to any lengths to make sure their secrets stay buried, and there''s only one hope for stopping them. LAPD Detective Carter and Chinese Inspector Lee are back--back where they don''t belong. The unlikely duo is headed to the City of Lights to stop a global criminal conspiracy and save the life of an old friend, Ambassador Han''s now-grown daughter, Soo Yung. They don''t know the city, the language or even exactly what they''re looking for, but their race will take them across the city, from the depths of the Paris underground to the breathtaking heights of the Eiffel Tower, as they fight to outrun the world''s most deadly criminals and save the day.
TV-14
8:00 pm
NBA on TBS
NBA Tip-Off presented by Autotrader
8:20 pm
NBA on TBS
2016 NBA All-Star Game presented by Kia
11:00 pm
Separation Anxiety
Troy & Erin
Though Troy and Erin have been only dating for a year, they are already talking about marriage. And now that Erin has finished the bar, Troy is ready to pop the question, right on the stage. Can he help her win the cash, or will they leave with nothing And will she say yes to his modest proposal
TV-14
12:00 am
Movie
Bad Boys II
Miami narcotics detectives Mike Lowrey and Marcus Burnett become part of a high-tech task force assigned to stem the flood of designer ecstasy into Miami. They unwittingly uncover a deadly conspiracy involving a ruthless drug lord who is determined to expand his empire and take control of the city''s burgeoning narcotics trade, killing anyone who stands in his way. To make matters worse, Marcus'' beautiful sister Syd, an undercover DEA agent, gets caught in the crossfire, forcing our heroes to the edge of the law. The assignment takes on further complications when romantic sparks start to fly between Mike and Syd, driving her overly protective brother completely around the bend. But Marcus and Mike must overcome their differences to bring down Tapia. And when Syd''s cover is jeopardized, it''s up to the Bad Boys to rescue her.
TV-14
3:00 am
Movie
Cop Out
Two longtime NYPD partners on the trail of a stolen, rare, mint-condition baseball card find themselves up against a merciless, memorabilia-obsessed gangster. But before they can recover the prized `52 Pafko, they must first rescue a Mexican beauty who holds the key to millions of dollars in off-shore bank accounts-and who has already witnessed one high-profile murder because of them. Veteran detective Jimmy Monr needs to cash in on his perfect Pafko in order to pay for his daughter''s upcoming wedding, but in the tradition of everything that can go wrong--it''s pilfered before he has a chance to collect. Paul Hodges is Jimmy''s partner-against-crime, whose preoccupation with his wife''s alleged infidelity makes it hard for him to keep his eye on the ball, or his mind on the crime. Already in trouble and with nothing left to lose, Jimmy and Paul will have to break all the rules-including enlisting the aid of stoner thief Dave, who''s working Paul''s last nerve as Paul and Jimmy try to work the case.
TV-14
5:00 am
Married With Children
We'll Follow the Sun
Al's plans for a family road trip come to a screeching halt when the Bundys get caught in Labor Day traffic.
TV-PG
5:30 am
Married With Children
I Want My Psycho Dad (1)
Al protests the cancellation of his favorite TV show.
TV-PG
 

Monday, February 15

6:00 am
Married With Children
I Want My Psycho Dad (2)
The "NO MA'AM" men take their Psycho Dad protest to Washington, D.C.
TV-PG
6:30 am
Married With Children
Kelly Takes a Shot
Bud helps Kelly with a commercial audition to prove himself to Marcy's niece.
TV-PG
7:00 am
Married With Children
Something Larry This Way Comes
Al goes out of his way to help Kelly and meet his TV idol, Larry Storch.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Married With Children
Get the Dodge Outta Hell
Al's Dodge goes into the car wash, but doesn't come out.
TV-PG
8:00 am
Married With Children
25 Years and What Do You Get?
Al and Peggy plans and good intentions or their 25th wedding anniversary are upset.
TV-PG
8:30 am
Married With Children
Ship Happens (1)
The Bundys and D'Arcys go on a Caribbean cruise.
TV-PG
9:00 am
King of Queens, The
Precedent Nixin'
Carrie's plan to stay at a hotel, while visiting her in-laws in Florida, backfires when their hotel is overrun by spring breakers.
TV-PG
9:30 am
King of Queens, The
Foe: Pa
When Arthur embarrasses Carrie at a job interview, Doug must heal the breach between father and daughter.
TV-PG
10:00 am
Movie (DVS)
Due Date
Peter Highman is an expectant first-time father whose wife''s due date is a mere five days away. As Peter hurries to catch a flight home from Atlanta to be at her side for the birth, his best intentions go completely awry when a chance encounter with aspiring actor Ethan Tremblay forces Peter to hitch a ride with Ethan--on what turns out to be a cross-country road trip that will ultimately destroy several cars, numerous friendships and Peter''s last nerve.
TV-14
12:00 pm
Movie (DVS)
Hangover Part III, The
In the aftermath of the death of Alan's father, the wolfpack decide to take Alan to get treated for his mental issues. But things start to go wrong on the way to the hospital as the wolfpack is assaulted and Doug is kidnapped. Now they must find Mr. Chow again in order to surrender him to the gangster who kidnapped Doug in order to save him.
TV-14
2:00 pm
Movie (DVS)
Hangover, The
Two days before his wedding, Doug and his three buddies drive to Vegas for a blow-out night they'll never forget. But when the three groomsmen wake up the next morning with pounding headaches, they can't remember a thing. Their posh hotel suite is beyond trashed and the groom is nowhere to be found. With no clue of what happened and little time to spare, the trio must attempt to retrace their bad decisions from the night before in order to figure out where things went wrong and hopefully get Doug back to L.A. in time for his wedding. However, the more they begin to uncover, the more they realize just how much trouble they're really in.
TV-14
4:00 pm
Full Frontal with Samantha Bee
Episode 1001
Samantha Bee goes on the road with the Jeb Bush campaign.
TV-MA
4:30 pm
Angie Tribeca
Famous Ventriloquist Did It, The
A ventriloquist is dead and the lieutenant is just sick about it. On the case, Tribeca delves into the salacious world of American ventriloquism. The only problem Geils always wanted to be a ventriloquist, which may not sound like a problem but is.
TV-PG
5:00 pm
American Dad
Independent Movie
Snot's father dies but Snot refuses to go to the funeral. Steve convinces Snot to take a road trip across the country to attend. Along the way the boys experience life as an independent movie, complete with strange characters and moments of raw emotion.
TV-14
5:30 pm
American Dad
Faking Bad
When Hayley tries to go clubbing with her old friends she is turned away at the door because she doesn't have proper ID. Hayley convinces Steve to make a fake ID for her. The fake ID is so good that Hayley and Steve go into business together as counterfeiters.
TV-14
6:00 pm
American Dad
Minstrel Krampus
When Steve starts acting like a spoiled brat during the holidays, Stan takes him to see his incarcerated Grandpa Jack, who tells him the story of how he caught Minstrel Krampus, a legendary demon who punishes naughty children on Christmas. Stan decides that releasing Krampus is the only way to straighten out Steve's attitude. But when Krampus kidnaps Steve, it's up to Stan and Roger to get him back. Meanwhile, Hayley gets a job at the airport, but quickly realizes that she might not be cut out for customer service.
TV-14
6:30 pm
American Dad
Vision: Impossible
Roger gets into a serious car accident and wakes up from his coma to discover that he now has the ability to see the future. He uses this ability to rescue the Smith family from dangerous situations.
TV-14
7:00 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Herpe the Love Sore
Stewie is fascinated by the blood oath in The Outlaw Josey Wales and begs Brian to perform the same ritual with him. After some nagging, Brian finally relents. They cut their palms and firmly shake hands, thus becoming blood brothers. The next morning, Stewie wakes up to find his lip has broken out with herpes sores.
TV-14
7:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Most Interesting Man in the World, The
Peter attends theater shows, museums, and other high culture events across the country. Eventually, he transforms into a sophisticated and scholarly individual.
TV-14
8:00 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Baby Got Black
Chris hits it off with Pam, a black girl from school who happens to be Jerome┐s daughter. Jerome doesn┐t approve because he thinks Chris is just interested in sex.
TV-14
8:30 pm
American Dad
N.S.A. (No Snoops Allowed)
Steve goes to work with Stan and discovers the N.S.A. Hayley decides to let go of being a vegetarian and eat meat for one day.
TV-14
9:00 pm
Angie Tribeca
Thumb Affair, The
A priceless work of art is missing and the lieutenant is extremely sick. Tribeca and Geils search and high and low and in the middle to recover the stolen painting. The only problems The demons in Tribeca's past and the lieutenant's lingering illness.
TV-14
9:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Brian the Closer
A fight over a chew-rope with Peter leaves Brian toothless and disfigured. But after a visit with QuagmireĂs dentist, Brian puts his new ˘toothy÷ smile to the test, as a real estate agent.
TV-14
10:00 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Turkey Guys
It's Thanksgiving time at the Griffins' house but dinner plans come to a halt as Lois discovers that Peter has eaten the turkey.
TV-14
10:30 pm
Full Frontal with Samantha Bee
Episode 1002
TV-MA
11:00 pm
Conan (CC)
Episode 6835
Mission CONAN: CONAN in Qatar, featuring Conan O'Brien and First Lady Michelle Obama on their recent trip to visit U.S. troops stationed at the Al Udeid Air Base in Doha, Qatar. This latest in a string of global excursions for Conan will mark his second trip abroad to perform for the men and women of the United States military. In May 2003, he visited Kuwait and Bahrain on a USO tour.
TV-14
12:00 am
Angie Tribeca
Thumb Affair, The
A priceless work of art is missing and the lieutenant is extremely sick. Tribeca and Geils search and high and low and in the middle to recover the stolen painting. The only problems The demons in Tribeca's past and the lieutenant's lingering illness.
TV-14
12:30 am
Conan (CC)
Episode 6835
Mission CONAN: CONAN in Qatar, featuring Conan O'Brien and First Lady Michelle Obama on their recent trip to visit U.S. troops stationed at the Al Udeid Air Base in Doha, Qatar. This latest in a string of global excursions for Conan will mark his second trip abroad to perform for the men and women of the United States military. In May 2003, he visited Kuwait and Bahrain on a USO tour.
TV-14
1:30 am
Cougar Town (SAP)
You Can Still Change Your Mind
Travis wants to take Jules and Grayson's wedding pictures, but Jules, who wants everything to be perfect for her second wedding, isn't so sure; meanwhile Bobby wants to get serious with Angie (guest star Sarah Chalke), but does she feel the same way, on "Cougar Town."
TV-PG
2:00 am
Cougar Town (SAP)
Ways to Be Wicked
No one believes Ellie when she tries to convince them that her seemingly lovely mom, Betsy (guest star Susan Blakely), is actually a sociopath; Grayson decides to help Laurie with her dream of opening a cake business, but her reaction isn't what he expected; and Bobby and Chick (Ken Jenkins) help Travis and his buddies in their plan to steal the campus cougar statue, on "Cougar Town."
TV-PG
2:30 am
Movie (DVS)
Due Date
Peter Highman is an expectant first-time father whose wife''s due date is a mere five days away. As Peter hurries to catch a flight home from Atlanta to be at her side for the birth, his best intentions go completely awry when a chance encounter with aspiring actor Ethan Tremblay forces Peter to hitch a ride with Ethan--on what turns out to be a cross-country road trip that will ultimately destroy several cars, numerous friendships and Peter''s last nerve.
TV-14
4:30 am
America's Funniest Home Videos
AFHV #2522
TV-G
5:30 am
Married With Children
Ship Happens (2)
The Bundys' and D'Arcy's Caribbean cruise is ruined when the ship sinks.
TV-PG
 

Tuesday, February 16

6:00 am
Married With Children
And Bingo was Her Game-O
Peggy wins $10,000 playing Bingo. Meanwhile, NO MA'AM chooses their official beer.
TV-PG
6:30 am
Married With Children
Undergraduate, The
A twelve year old boy with a crush on Kelly gets her to go to his junior prom with him.
TV-PG
7:00 am
Married With Children
User Friendly
While Al and his friends tries to find out what a light switch in the Bundy house do, Bud experiences cyber sex... with Amber.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Married With Children
Shoeless Al
Al can't wear shoes because of his phony lawsuit against the mall.
TV-PG
8:00 am
Married With Children
Pump Fiction
Al and Kelly make a short film about shoes, and they end up getting $10,000 dollars to produce another one.
TV-PG
8:30 am
Married With Children
Radio Free Trumaine
In an attempt for a spinoff, we follow the lives of DJs Oliver Cole and Mark Campbell at a local radio station at Bud's college. Oliver and Mark risk being expelled for revealing the truth about dean Steve Rhoades' past.
TV-PG
9:00 am
King of Queens, The
Tank Heaven
Doug deliberately offends Carrie's co-workers by showing them his chest hair.
TV-PG
9:30 am
King of Queens, The
Alter Ego
Doug, Deacon, Danny and Spence take an impulsive trip to Memphis to try and stop the wedding of Spence's ex-girlfriend (Rachel Dratch).
TV-PG
10:00 am
King of Queens, The
Icky Shuffle
When Carrie comes down with a cold, Arthur must find a new teammate for the senior center's shuffleboard tournament.
TV-PG
10:30 am
King of Queens, The
Awful Bigamy
When Holly is kicked out of her apartment, Arthur insists she stay with him until she can find someplace new to live.
TV-PG
11:00 am
Cleveland Show, The
Love Rollercoaster
Roberta disguises herself in a "fat suit" to prove she can get by without her good looks, only to attract Cleveland Jr's advances; Cleveland and his friends invent a moveable coaster for beers.
TV-14
11:30 am
Cleveland Show, The
Our Gang
After taking a group of delinquent teens under his wing, Cleveland encourages the kids to start a cookie business...which the kids misinterpret as advice on dealing drugs.
TV-14
12:00 pm
American Dad
Familyland
The Smith family goes to Familyland theme park for vacation. Francine wants the family to spend the day together, but the individual members go their separate ways. Francine cries in front of a statue of the park's founder, Roy Family, and awakens Roy from a deep slumber.
TV-14
12:30 pm
American Dad
Cock of the Sleepwalk
Stan celebrates his one hundredth kill for the C.I.A and says his success as an assassin comes from him not having a conscience. The night of the celebration Stan sleepwalks and performs good deeds for his family. Upon waking up, Stan is shocked to learn that his conscience is taking control of his body.
TV-14
1:00 pm
American Dad
Introducing the Naughty Stewardesses
Stan takes Francine on a surprise trip to Sacramento, but Francine is bored. They meet the Naughty Stewardesses, four women who use their status as flight attendants to find love and adventure.
TV-14
1:30 pm
American Dad
I Ain't No Holodeck Boy
Stan thinks that Steve and his friends spend too much time indoors playing video games. He wishes that the boys would go outside and have the kind of adventures in the woods that he had as a child. When Stan learns that the C.I.A. has a hologram deck that can simulate real environments, he drugs the boys and places them inside, making them think they have been left in the woods.
TV-14
2:00 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Fore Father
Chris gets a job picking up golf balls; Peter ignores Chris in favor of Cleveland Jr.
TV-14
2:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Thin White Line
Brian's keen sense of smell gets him a job with the police department.
TV-14
3:00 pm
New Girl
Cruise
Jess and Nick invite the gang along with them on a cruise they booked while still together as a couple. Coach tries to suppress his fear of boating, Schmidt attempts to win back Cece and Winston tries to mend Jess and Nick's fractured relationship.
TV-14
3:30 pm
New Girl
Last Wedding, The
At the last wedding of the summer, the gang makes a pact: each of them will get lucky by night's end. Jess sets her sights on the best man, who also has caught the eye of a beautiful scientist. Meanwhile, Schmidt and Nick get an indecent proposal, Winston recovers from his police academy training, and Coach panics when he realizes he has already hooked up with every woman at the party.
TV-14
4:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With All the Kissing, The
Ross' new wife won't speak to him. Rachel appoints Monica her advisor in romance. Phoebe feels neglected.
TV-PG
4:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One-Hundredth, The
While Phoebe delivers triplets, Joey experiences his own pain. Monica plans a date with a male nurse to spite Chandler.
TV-PG
5:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where Phoebe Hates PBS, The
Joey challenges Phoebe to perform a completely selfless act. Monica gets upset when Chandler gloats about sex. Ross might finally reconcile with Emily -- but he must make a tough decision.
TV-PG
5:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With the Kips, The
Ross tells Rachel that he cannot be around her once Emily comes to New York. Chandler and Monica try to have a romantic weekend.
TV-14
6:00 pm
Seinfeld
Blood, The
Jerry's parents notice his weight gain and ask Izzy (Lloyd Bridges) to train him.
TV-PG
6:30 pm
Seinfeld
Junk Mail, The
Jerry agrees to perform for a car company in exchange for a new car.
TV-PG
7:00 pm
Seinfeld
Merv Griffin Show, The
Jerry dates a toy collector; Kramer thinks he finds a TV show's furniture set.
TV-PG
7:30 pm
Seinfeld
Slicer, The
Kramer buys a meat slicer; Jerry's date (Marcia Cross) considers his job meaningless.
TV-PG
8:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Psychic Vortex, The
Leonard is aghast to find out a secret of Penny's: she believes in psychics. Meanwhile, Sheldon tries to assist Koothrappali in picking up a girl at a university party.
TV-PG
8:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Bozeman Reaction, The
A robbery of their apartment sees Leonard and Sheldon call on their friends to devise a security system.
TV-PG
9:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Einstein Approximation, The
Stuck on the solution to a physics problem, Sheldon seeks a number of alternative approaches to change his thinking and free the mental block; including working with Penny at The Cheesecake Factory.
TV-PG
9:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Large Hadron Collision, The
Leonard faces a dilemma in choosing between Sheldon or Penny to accompany him to Switzerland to see CERN's Large Hadron Collider on Valentine's Day.
TV-PG
10:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Excelsior Acquisition, The
An appearance in traffic court comes at the worst possible time for Sheldon; the same day Stan Lee is appearing at the comic book store.
TV-PG
10:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Precious Fragmentation, The
The guys go to a garage sale and find a ring from the "Lord of the Rings" films, and the rare find threatens their friendship.
TV-PG
11:00 pm
Conan (CC)
Episode 6809
Guests: John Cleese, Michaela Watkins, Trey Anastasio
TV-14
12:00 am
2 Broke Girls (SAP)
And the Near Death Experience
Caroline goes into a tailspin and drags Max with her when Nicolas tells her that he is going to leave is wife for her.
TV-14
12:30 am
Conan (CC)
Episode 6809
Guests: John Cleese, Michaela Watkins, Trey Anastasio
TV-14
1:30 am
Cougar Town (SAP)
Money Becomes King
Jules and Grayson can't see eye to eye when it comes to joining their finances, but they're both going to have to make some sacrifices if they actually want to get married -- and that is not going to be easy. Meanwhile, Laurie's Krazy Kakes business is doing surprisingly well, and Travis convinces her to make some grown up decisions of her own, on "Cougar Town."
TV-PG
2:00 am
Cougar Town (SAP)
Southern Accents
Jules has a hard time accepting that Holly (guest star Briga Heelan) is part of her life, a situation that does not improve after she finds out that Holly and Travis made out; Andy wants to run for mayor so he can change the town rules against weddings on the beach (something Jules has her heart set on), but Ellie won't let him; and Laurie tries to convince Bobby he's just socially inept, not prejudiced, after he blurts out some awkward comments at the cake shop, on "Cougar Town."
TV-PG
2:30 am
Movie
Witless Protection
During a routine day spent patrolling his small town, sheriff Larry witnesses a beautiful, high-class woman, Madeleine, being held against her will by four mysterious, black-suited men. Recognizing the opportunity to save the day, Larry "kidnaps" her, only to learn that Madeleine is actually a key witness in a high-stakes Chicago crime case and her captors are FBI agents assigned to protect her. Madeleine is furious. But Larry, who rightly suspects the agents are crooked and Madeleine is in danger, forces her on a harebrained trip to Chicago to solve the case himself. Together, the mismatched duo must grapple with angry FBI agents, quack doctors and Chicago high society.
TV-14
4:30 am
America's Funniest Home Videos
AFHV #2523
TV-G
5:30 am
Married With Children
Shoe Room with a View, A
Al arranges for an aerobics studio to open next to the shoe store.
TV-PG
 

Wednesday, February 17

6:00 am
Married With Children
Guess Who's Coming to Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner
When Bud decides to move out, Peggy's mother arrives to stay.
TV-PG
6:30 am
Married With Children
Requiem for a Dead Briard
The family tries to console Kelly when Buck dies.
TV-PG
7:00 am
Married With Children
Reverend Al
Al and his friends turn No Ma'am into a tax-exempt church.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Married With Children
How Bleen Was My Kelly
Kelly accidentally invents a baldness cure with some unusual side effects.
TV-PG
8:00 am
Married With Children
Weaker Sex, The
Al suffers public scorn when Peggy is declared a hero for taking out a pickpocket.
TV-PG
8:30 am
Married With Children
Flight of the Bumblebee
Bud takes on wrestler King Kong Bundy as his initiation into "No Ma'am."
TV-PG
9:00 am
King of Queens, The
Queasy Rider
Doug buys a motorcycle against Carrie's wishes; Carrie takes up smoking.
TV-PG
9:30 am
King of Queens, The
Female Problems
Carrie befriends a new neighbor; Doug feels left out.
TV-PG
10:00 am
King of Queens, The
Assaulted Nuts
After Doug convinces Carrie he doesn't goof around at work, horseplay gets him into a painful and embarrassing predicament.
TV-14
10:30 am
King of Queens, The
Parent Trapped
Deacon and Kelly ask Doug and Carrie to be the godparents of their new baby; Arthur is put in charge of the pretzel stand.
TV-PG
11:00 am
Cleveland Show, The
Buried Pleasure
After he learns about Holt's sex doll, Cleveland sets up Holt with a coworker named Jane, who turns out to be a bully; Cleveland Jr. accidentally consumes Rallo's pet fish.
TV-14
11:30 am
Cleveland Show, The
Curious Case of Jr. Working at the Stool, The
Cleveland Jr. takes a job at The Broken Stool, where he infuriates his father by establishing rules; Roberta competes with Lacey, a rich high school student.
TV-14
12:00 pm
American Dad
Stan Goes on the Pill
Francine is frustrated that Stan only pretends to pay attention when she talks. Stan takes a pill engineered by the C.I.A. to help male agents listen to females. Stan takes too much and the pill physically transforms him into a woman.
TV-14
12:30 pm
American Dad
Honey, I'm Homeland
Stan goes undercover at an Occupy Wall Street rally and gets kidnapped by a group of radical leftists. The liberals subject Stan to horrific torture to re-educate him, but Stan escapes. After Stan returns home, Hayley notices Stan's odd behavior and fears that he may have been brainwashed.
TV-14
1:00 pm
American Dad
She Swill Survive
Stan is tired of Hayley being lazy and unemployed, so he forces her to take a job in Roger's bar. Deputy Director Bullock is a regular at the bar, and he confesses his secrets to Hayley.
TV-14
1:30 pm
American Dad
Rubberneckers
Stan and Francine go out to dinner and Francine catches Stan looking at another woman. Stan tells his co-workers that he got caught and the co-workers teach Stan about Rubbernecking, the art of checking out other woman on the sly.
TV-14
2:00 pm
Family Guy
Brian Does Hollywood
Brian's first job in Hollywood is directing a pornographic film.
TV-14
2:30 pm
Family Guy
Mr. Griffin Goes To Washington
The tobacco industry sends Peter to Washington to present a speech about smoking.
TV-14
3:00 pm
New Girl
Dice
Schmidt tutors Jess in the not so fine art of dating via mobile apps. Meanwhile, Winston is desperate to make a good impression on his fellow police cadets, which backfires when Nick, Coach and Cece show up at a party thrown by fellow officers.
TV-14
3:30 pm
New Girl
Julie Berkman's Older Sister
Jess' dad arrives with his new girlfriend, Ashley, who happened to be Jess and Cece's high school rival. Meanwhile, Schmidt recruits the guys to be part of a focus group at work to help him land a big new account.
TV-14
4:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With the Yeti, The
Will Ross obey Emily and move away from his friends Monica and Rachel meet a monster.
TV-PG
4:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where Ross Moves In, The
Joey and Chandler regret letting Ross move in with them. Rachel schemes to get her new neighbor to ask her on a date.
TV-PG
5:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With Ross' Sandwich, The
Joey becomes exasperated from hiding Chandler and Monica's secret. Ross gets in trouble when he expresses his rage.
TV-14
5:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With Chandler's Work Laugh, The
Chandler's behavior toward his boss annoys Monica. Ross' latest romance astounds everyone.
TV-PG
6:00 pm
Seinfeld
Betrayal, The
Elaine drags Jerry and George to a wedding in India; Kramer's life is threatened.
TV-PG
6:30 pm
Seinfeld
Apology, The
Jerry's girlfriend teaches him some naked truths; George anticipates an apology.
TV-PG
7:00 pm
Seinfeld
Strike, The
George's father invents a new holiday; Kramer returns to work at the bagel shop.
TV-PG
7:30 pm
Seinfeld
Dealership, The
Jerry seeks a good deal on a new car from Elaine's boyfriend (Patrick Warburton).
TV-PG
8:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Pants Alternative, The
Sheldon's fear of speaking in front of large groups threatens his ability to accept an award, so the gang tries to help him get ready for the big night.
TV-PG
8:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Wheaton Recurrence, The
Sheldon gets to square off on the bowling alley against nemesis Wil Wheaton. Meanwhile, Leonard's miffed when Penny doesn't respond the way he hoped after saying, "I love you."
TV-PG
9:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Spaghetti Catalysis, The
Subsequent to Leonard and Penny's break-up, Sheldon tries to hide from Leonard and the gang that he had a friendly spaghetti dinner at Penny's.
TV-14
9:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Plimpton Stimulation, The
Sheldon hosts a visiting female physicist (Judy Greer), but her intelligence seems matched by her libido.
TV-14
10:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Staircase Implementation, The
A squabble over the thermostat setting leads to Leonard going over to Penny's and recounting for her the story of how he met and moved in with Sheldon.
TV-PG
10:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Lunar Excitation, The
Howard and Raj try to find the perfect match for Sheldon by setting him up on an Internet dating site. Seeing her moronic new boyfriend interact with the gang makes it abundantly clear to Penny that she can't go back to dating stereotypical dumb jocks after dating Leonard.
TV-14
11:00 pm
Conan (CC)
Episode 6810
Guests: Jennifer Lawrence, Ron Funches, Ian Karmel
TV-14
12:00 am
2 Broke Girls (SAP)
And the Kilt Trip
Caroline tries to fit in with Max and the diner gang as they go out to get wild and crazy at the St. Patrick's Day parade, but she finds herself longing to practice her former holiday traditions at the Plaza Hotel.
TV-14
12:30 am
Conan (CC)
Episode 6810
Guests: Jennifer Lawrence, Ron Funches, Ian Karmel
TV-14
1:30 am
Cougar Town (SAP)
Down South
A hurricane blows into town, so that means it's time for a hurricane party at Jules' house. But there's more than one storm brewing, as Travis wants to make a play for Laurie, now that she's broken up her Skype romance with soldier Wade (guest star Edwin Hodge), and Jules is determined to keep them apart, on "Cougar Town."
TV-PG
2:00 am
Cougar Town (SAP)
Square One
Grayson moves in with Jules after the hurricane damages his house, but the sudden togetherness makes them wonder if they're going to make the same mistakes in their upcoming marriage that they made in their past relationships. Meanwhile, Ellie and Laurie bicker about which of them is the sexiest, dragging Travis into the argument, and Jules and Bobby dare each other to a "white shirt challenge" - to see who can wear the same while shirt longer without spilling something on it -- on "Cougar Town."
TV-PG
2:30 am
Movie (DVS)
Think Like a Man
Based on Steve Harvey's best-selling book, Think Like a Man follows four interconnected and diverse men whose love lives are shaken up after the ladies they are pursuing buy Harvey's book and start taking his advice to heart. When the band of brothers realize they have been betrayed by one of their own, they conspire using the book's insider information to turn the tables and teach the women a lesson of their own.
TV-14
5:00 am
America's Funniest Home Videos
AFHV #2001
A hidden camera reveals a dog stealing bread from a toaster; a dog waits every day for the ice cream truck to arrive (and to gobble down his daily ice cream cone); an office prank with a remote controlled spider; a salute to Florida, with clips collected from all over the Sunshine State; and a clip montage of people getting sprayed in the face by a faucet prank.
TV-G
 

Thursday, February 18

6:00 am
Married With Children
Blonde and Blonder
Kelly's class reunion becomes the scene for an ex-nerd's revenge.
TV-PG
6:30 am
Married With Children
Dud Bowl II
Marcy is determined to keep Polk High's new football scoreboard from being named after Al.
TV-PG
7:00 am
Married With Children
Bearly Men
Al must prove himself a man so his father-in-law will take Peggy's mom back home.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Married With Children
Two That Got Away, The
Bumped from their fishing lodge cabin, Al and Jefferson seek revenge against actress Shannon Tweed.
TV-PG
8:00 am
Married With Children
I Can't Believe It's Butter
Al forces Peggy's mom to get a job right before Christmas.
TV-PG
8:30 am
Married With Children
Love Conquers Al
Peggy takes Al and her parents to a marriage therapy retreat.
TV-PG
9:00 am
King of Queens, The
Dire Strayts
Doug and Carrie invite Ray and Debra Barone (``Everybody Loves Raymond'') to dinner; Doug gets stuck in the attic.
TV-PG
9:30 am
King of Queens, The
Doug Out
Feeling guilty, Doug invites Arthur to a Mets game; Doug gets arrested trying to catch a foul ball.
TV-PG
10:00 am
King of Queens, The
Tube Stakes
Doug's big screen television is stolen when Carrie accidentally leaves the garage door open.
TV-PG
10:30 am
King of Queens, The
Get Away
On a weekend trip, Doug and Carrie discover that Deacon and Kelly have a much more active sex life.
TV-PG
11:00 am
Cleveland Show, The
Once Upon a Tyne in New York
Cleveland takes Donna to New York City, but ends up spending most of his time bailing out his friends when they get into trouble; Coach McFall tries to reunite with his former love, actress Tyne Daly.
TV-14
11:30 am
Cleveland Show, The
Brown Knight, The
Cleveland is mistakenly hailed as a hero after he ends up getting shot in an armed robbery; Rallo discovers what Roberta's "that time of the month" is all about.
TV-14
12:00 pm
American Dad
Permanent Record Wrecker
Stan is laid off from work and has to search for a job for the first time in over twenty years. When he applies for jobs, Stan learns that his permanent record has been wiped clean of his C.I.A. experience and no one wants to hire him.
TV-14
12:30 pm
American Dad
News Glance with Genevieve Vavance
Hayley wants to save the world through investigative journalism so she becomes an intern for a local news reporter. The reporter turns out to be Roger, who gets ratings through sensationalized stories.
TV-14
1:00 pm
American Dad
Longest Distance Relationship, The
Hayley is injured in a fire and while she is in the hospital she meets Millionaire Matt Davis. As Hayley and Matt fall in love, Steve discovers Jeff Fischer is still alive in outer space. Jeff and Hayley communicate via an old CB radio and Jeff asks Hayley to stay true to him while he finds a way back to Earth.
TV-14
1:30 pm
American Dad
Boy Named Michael, A
Greg and Terry decide to adopt a ten-year-old Russian boy named Michael. At a party celebrating the decision, Roger is jealous of Greg and Terry's fabulous lifestyle of culture and sophistication. Roger rejects the Smith family as trashy and impersonates Michael, successfully integrating into his new home.
TV-14
2:00 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
One If By Clam, Two if By Sea
A British man buys Peter's favorite bar after a hurricane.
TV-14
2:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
And The Wiener Is...
Peter joins a gun club to compensate for his lack of physical assets; Meg becomes the target of the ``cool'' gang's wrath.
TV-14
3:00 pm
New Girl
Micro
To prove that girls aren't shallow, Jess goes out on a date with a guy whose shortcomings fall way below the belt. Meanwhile, Winston and Cece pit Schmidt and Coach against each other, while convincing them they could be male models.
TV-14
3:30 pm
New Girl
Landline
When Coach's liaison with the school nurse gets messy, vice principal Jess must enforce a new no fraternization policy among the teachers. But the tables soon get turned when she finds herself attracted to the hot new science teacher. Meanwhile, Nick is enjoying being Schmidt and Winston's secretary after the loft gets a new home phone.
TV-14
4:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With Joey's Bag, The
Phoebe meets another long-lost relative. Joey wears a shoulder bag. Series star LISA KUDROW plays a dual role.
TV-PG
4:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where Everybody Finds Out, The
Chandler and Monica's relationship becomes less of a secret. Ross must prove to his boss that he's sane in order to return to work.
TV-14
5:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With the Girl Who Hits Joey, The
Chandler thinks Monica wants more from their relationship. Ross fails to impress his new neighbors.
TV-PG
5:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With the Cop, The
Joey wonders if he is in love with Monica. Phoebe impersonates a police officer.
TV-PG
6:00 pm
Seinfeld
Reverse Peephole, The
Puddy wears a fur coat; Jerry doesn't use a wallet; Newman may face eviction.
TV-PG
6:30 pm
Seinfeld
Cartoon, The
Susan's old friend Sally succeeds with a one-woman show about Jerry.
TV-PG
7:00 pm
Seinfeld
Strongbox, The
Kramer hides his strongbox key at Jerry's place; a neighbor feuds with Jerry.
TV-PG
7:30 pm
Seinfeld
Wizard, The
Jerry buys his father an electronic organizer; Kramer retires to Florida.
TV-PG
8:00 pm
2 Broke Girls (DVS)
And the Not Broke Parents
When the pastry school closes Deke has an idea of purchasing it, so he invites Caroline and Max to meet his parents, Max is tongue-tied until his mother confides in her about her secret past.
TV-14
8:30 pm
2 Broke Girls (DVS)
And the Wedding Cake Cake Cake
Max and Caroline agree to make a wedding cake for a bride (Lindsey Lohan) who can't decide on what style of cake she wants, or much of anything else.
TV-14
9:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Robotic Manipulation, The
In the 4th season opener, Howard uses a robotic arm for his own pleasure; and Sheldon goes on a date with Amy Farrah Fowler---his first date ever---and Penny finds herself accompanying them. (Mayim Bialik guest stars)
TV-14
9:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Cruciferous Vegetable Amplification, The
Sheldon calculates that he'll be dead before technology exists to download his consciousness into a robot, so he goes on a binge of healthy living and ultra-safety.
TV-PG
10:00 pm
2 Broke Girls (DVS)
And the New Lease on Life
Max and Caroline are forced to find the original tenant of their apartment when the lease expires and convince him to re-sign or else they will face eviction.
TV-14
10:30 pm
2 Broke Girls (DVS)
And the Free Money
Caroline's love for horse racing gets out of hand when she and Max go to a racetrack as guests of Sophie's new bookie boyfriend.
TV-14
11:00 pm
Conan (CC)
Episode 6812
Guests: Tom Jones, Oliver Hudson, Tom Jones performs
TV-14
12:00 am
Full Frontal with Samantha Bee
Episode 1002
TV-MA
12:30 am
Conan (CC)
Episode 6812
Guests: Tom Jones, Oliver Hudson, Tom Jones performs
TV-14
1:30 am
Cougar Town (SAP)
It'll All Work Out
When Jules realizes that the cul-de-sac crew didn't celebrate Thanksgiving together, she decides to celebrate the holiday, even though it's spring. But the family spirit is shattered, in more ways than one, when Little Stan gets his hands on Big Carl and Jules questions Ellie's parenting skills. Meanwhile, Travis struggles to write Jules' wedding vows and asks Bobby and Laurie for help, and Grayson helps a nervous Andy practice for the annual pizza toss for candidates running for mayor, on "Cougar Town."
TV-PG
2:00 am
Cougar Town (SAP)
My Life/Your World (Part 1 of 2)
"My Life/Your World" -- When Grayson complains that he's living the movie "Groundhog Day" because the gang shows up at the same time every day at Jules' house, Jules asks for a "Groundhog Day"-themed bachelorette party so that Ellie and Laurie can explain the movie to her. Then, fed up with the lack of privacy, Grayson convinces Jules to elope to Napa . . . but the cul de sac crew happily tags along, on "Cougar Town." David Arquette guest stars as a hotel concierge who'll go to great (and possibly illegal) lengths to help the wine wedding go off without a hitch.
TV-PG
2:30 am
Movie
Angels in the Outfield
A foster child believes that his luck will change if his beloved California Angels can win the pennant. Meanwhile, the last-place team''s manager is trying to turn the club around and save his job. He gets help from an angel named Al who miraculously leads the club to the playoffs.
TV-PG
4:30 am
America's Funniest Home Videos
AFHV #2002
Highlights include a musical montage featuring cats; a dog having a funny reaction when some suggests he take a bath; a salute to stupidity with a package of clips featuring mishaps due to some not-so-bright ideas; a teenage boy having his eyebrows plucked who freaks out when he realizes he's being taped; and this week's state spotlight, Michigan, with a package of clips.
TV-G
5:30 am
Married With Children
Hood, the Bud and the Kelly (1), The
To keep Kelly as a client, Bud sets out to produce a sexy exercise video.
TV-PG
 

Friday, February 19

6:00 am
Married With Children
Hood, the Bud and the Kelly (2), The
In order to save his life, Bud must finish his exercise video on time.
TV-PG
6:30 am
Married With Children
Calendar Girl
Al uses Bud's class project to beat out a rival shoe store owner.
TV-PG
7:00 am
Married With Children
Spring Break (1)
As Kelly and her friends trick Bud's fraternity out of their spring break in Florida, Al and Griff join Jefferson in Fort Lauderdale to judge a college co-ed beauty contest.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Married With Children
Spring Break (2)
As Al prepares to chest to see that Kelly is named Miss Spring Break, Marcy and Bud lead some burned fraternity brothers to Florida for revenge.
TV-PG
8:00 am
Married With Children
Agony and the Extra C, The
A Jefferson anniversary surprise is ruined when a drunken tattoo artist misspells Marcy's name.
TV-PG
8:30 am
Married With Children
Turning Japanese
To secure a big promotion at the bank, Marcy must first buy Al's car for her Japanese boss.
TV-PG
9:00 am
Married With Children
Bud Hits the Books
Bud's unauthorized use of the library threatens his graduation.
TV-PG
9:30 am
King of Queens, The
I, Candy
Doug's self-esteem gets a boost when a waitress flirts with him.
TV-PG
10:00 am
King of Queens, The
Sparing Carrie
Doug's bowling team must win a match or else fire Carrie.
TV-PG
10:30 am
King of Queens, The
Block Buster
Doug's memories of his glory days as a football player don't match those of his old teammates.
TV-PG
11:00 am
Cleveland Show, The
Gone with the Wind
Cleveland's flatulence interrupts a karaoke contest at the Broken Stool, embarrassing Donna no end; Cleveland and Donna have bad news for Cleveland Jr.
TV-14
11:30 am
Cleveland Show, The
Brotherly Love
Rallo helps Junior as he tries to win the heart of Chanel, a girl he's infatuated with; Cleveland becomes Terry's pimp.
TV-14
12:00 pm
American Dad
Roger Passes the Bar
Roger pushes himself to the breaking point by working non-stop at his dive bar. When he suffers a heart attack, Roger decides to sell the bar to a company that promises to continue his vision. Upon returning to visit, Roger sees that the dive bar has been completely remade as a family friendly restaurant.
TV-14
12:30 pm
American Dad
Blagsnarst: A Love Story
Roger has been acting incredibly needy and clingy with the family. He senses something in the air that is affecting his behavior but he can't tell where its coming from. Roger leads Francine to a forest where they find a crashed alien ship, with the alien still alive.
TV-14
1:00 pm
American Dad
Blonde Ambition
When her efforts to save the planet prove hopeless, Hayley decides that she might get more attention if she becomes a blonde. Meanwhile, Stan and Steve go on a mission to find a new home for the Smiths.
TV-14
1:30 pm
American Dad
CIAPOW
When Bullock sends a drone to do the job Stan and his colleagues are supposed to do, Stan is determined to prove that humans are better than robots. Meanwhile, Francine and the rest of the family participate in a slow motion race in the living room.
TV-14
2:00 pm
American Dad
Scents and Sensei-bility
Steve and Snot are fed up with being bullied. When they enroll in a karate class, Snot is brainwashed by the sensei and it's Steve's mission to get him back. Meanwhile, Klaus develops a horrible odor and is forced to be an outside pet.
TV-14
2:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Death Lives
After a near-death experience on his anniversary, Peter learns the importance of spending time with Lois.
TV-14
3:00 pm
New Girl
Background Check
As part of Winston's police academy training, the loft must pass a home visit and background check, which shouldn't be a problem until Jess admits she might be hiding illegal substances in her closet.
TV-14
3:30 pm
New Girl
Goldmine
Nick pretends to be gay to make his status as Jess' ex less of an issue to her new beau. To Coach's annoyance, Winston works his "Long Game" on their attractive neighbors, Michelle and Viv. Meanwhile, Schmidt panics when Cece considers having a breast reduction.
TV-14
4:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With Rachel's Inadvertent Kiss, The
Rachel interviews for a great job--but she may get it for the wrong reason. Monica competes to have a better relationship than Phoebe's.
TV-14
4:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where Rachel Smokes, The
Rachel submits to peer pressure at work. Joey and Ross' son audition for the same commercial -- but only one can get the part.
TV-PG
5:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where Ross Can't Flirt, The
Ross' flirting technique fails to impress a cute pizza-delivery woman. A surprise awaits Joey when he tells everyone about his big television appearance.
TV-PG
5:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With the Ride Along, The
The guys enjoy riding along with a police officer -- until a gunshot is heard. Rachel overhears a telephone message for Ross from his second ex-wife.
TV-PG
6:00 pm
Seinfeld
Burning, The
George seeks timely exits; Jerry's gal has a secret; Elaine learns Puddy is religious.
TV-PG
6:30 pm
Seinfeld
Bookstore, The
George hopes to meet women at a bookstore where Jerry spots Uncle Leo shoplifting.
TV-PG
7:00 pm
Seinfeld
Frogger, The
Elaine eats Peterman's cake; Kramer helps George steal an arcade game.
TV-PG
7:30 pm
Seinfeld
Maid, The
Jerry begins a relationship with his maid (Angela Featherstone); George wants a nickname.
TV-PG
8:00 pm
2 Broke Girls (DVS)
And the First Degree
Season 3 ends with Caroline helping Max earn her high-school diploma and reconnect with her estranged mother.
TV-14
8:30 pm
2 Broke Girls (DVS)
And the Childhood Not Included
Caroline accidentally loses one of Han's expensive fish while cleaning the tank, so Max considers selling a sentimental gift from her mother in order to replace the fish.
TV-14
9:00 pm
2 Broke Girls (DVS)
And the Brand Job
Max and Caroline's friendship is severely tested when Caroline drags Max to a motivational business seminar to help brand their cupcake business.
TV-14
9:30 pm
2 Broke Girls (DVS)
And a Loan for Christmas
Max and Caroline obtain a bank loan to mass-produce their cupcake T-shirts so they can sell them at high-end boutiques. Meanwhile, the diner gang poses in Chestnut's barn for a holiday decorating contest Sophie entered.
TV-14
10:00 pm
Movie (DVS)
Killers
Trying to recover from a sudden break-up, Jen Kornfeldt believes she''ll never fall in love again. But when she reluctantly joins her parents on a trip to the French Riviera, Jen happens to meet the man of her dreams, the dashing, handsome Spencer Aimes. Three years later, her seemingly impossible wish has come true: she and Spencer are newlyweds living the ideal suburban life - that is, until the morning after Spencer''s 30th birthday when bullets start flying. Literally. It turns out Spencer never bothered to tell Jen he''s also an international super-spy, and now Jen''s perfect world has been turned upside down. Faced with the fact that her husband is a hit man, Jen is determined to discover what other secrets Spencer might be keeping - all the while trying to dodge bullets, keep up neighborly appearances, manage the in-laws and work out some major trust issues. And you thought suburban life was easy.
TV-14
12:00 am
Full Frontal with Samantha Bee
Episode 1002
TV-MA
12:30 am
Cougar Town (SAP)
My Life/Your World (Part 2 of 2)
"My Life/Your World" -- When Grayson complains that he's living the movie "Groundhog Day" because the gang shows up at the same time every day at Jules' house, Jules asks for a "Groundhog Day"-themed bachelorette party so that Ellie and Laurie can explain the movie to her. Then, fed up with the lack of privacy, Grayson convinces Jules to elope to Napa . . . but the cul de sac crew happily tags along, on "Cougar Town." David Arquette guest stars as a hotel concierge who'll go to great (and possibly illegal) lengths to help the wine wedding go off without a hitch.
TV-PG
1:00 am
Cougar Town (SAP)
Blue Sunday
It's the first week of marriage for Grayson and Jules, but when Grayson doesn't know the rules, he soon becomes Jules' "coffee and wine bitch." After Travis' 21st birthday, Bobby tries to make up for lost time by teaching him lessons about being a man. And Ellie and Laurie try to pull Jules out of her depression when Grayson refuses to apologize for what he did in her dream.
TV-14
1:30 am
Movie
Duplex
In terms of living the American Dream, Alex and Nancy have it pretty good. They are a young, vibrant couple in New York City with bright futures ahead of them. But one thing is missing: a home of their own. When they find one, it comes with one feature they didn''t expect--an upstairs tenant, Mrs. Connelly, who lives in a rent-controlled apartment, and who isn''t quite as easy-going or frail as Alex and Nancy originally anticipated. As their blissful life begins to seriously fray around the edges, their dream home rapidly turns into a nightmare and they decide that they must get Mrs. Connelly out of their lives.
TV-14
3:30 am
Movie
Confessions of a Shopaholic
In the glamorous world of New York City, Rebecca Bloomwood is a fun-loving girl who is really good at shopping--a little too good, perhaps. She dreams of working for her favorite fashion magazine, but can''t quite get her foot in the door--until ironically, she snags a job as an advice columnist for a financial magazine published by the same company. As her dreams are finally coming true, she goes to ever more extreme efforts to keep her past from ruining her future.
TV-PG
5:30 am
Married With Children
Al Goes to the Dogs
Al and Marcy clash over a doghouse for Lucky.
TV-PG