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SCHEDULE: August 2014

Times listed for EASTERN and PACIFIC timezones except where otherwise noted.

Friday, August 22

6:00 am
Rules of Engagement
Handy Man
When Audrey realizes Jeff is getting a bit bored in the bedroom, she tries to spice it up. Russell gets called out on a business trip, but has a fear of flying. He invites Timmy to distract him.
TV-14
6:30 am
My Name is Earl (SAP)
Sweet Johnny
Earl needs to make up for sleeping with local stuntman's girlfriend, while Joy gets carjacked and feels the need to buy a gun.
TV-14
7:00 am
Married With Children
I Who Have Nothing
When Al decides to draw up a will and divide up his worldly belongings, he tracks down his old high school girlfriend, to whom he gave his most prized possession -- his football.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Married With Children
Mystery of Skull Island, The
While Peggy, Al, Marcy and Jefferson play a New Age board game, Bud finds himself unable to say no to sexy Kara, even if it kills him.
TV-PG
8:00 am
Are We There Yet ?
Kwandanegaba Children's Fund Episode, The
Nick wants Lindsey and Kevin to give back to their community, so they select a charity they found online. But when the charity keeps asking for more and more money, Nick has to get to the bottom of it.
TV-PG
8:30 am
Tyler Perry's Meet the Browns
Meet the Nightlife
Sasha's wallet is stolen while her, Will and Renee are at a club. To everyone's surprise Brianna knows who stole it.
TV-PG
9:00 am
Tyler Perry's House of Payne
Payneful Employment
C.J. gets a very important job interview out of town. Curtis is excited because he thinks he might finally have the house to himself again, so he attempts to help C.J. get the job but it backfires.
TV-PG
9:30 am
Full House
And They Call It Puppy Love
The Tanner children want to keep a lost golden retriever that has wandered into their yard but instead get to keep an unexpected gift--a puppy.
TV-G
10:00 am
Fresh Prince of Bel Air (SAP)
Bullets Over Bel-Air
Carlton buys a gun after he and Will are robbed.
TV-PG
10:30 am
Fresh Prince of Bel Air (SAP)
Decent Proposal, A
Will proposes to reluctant Lisa; accident-prone Hilary stalls Will's recovery.
TV-G
11:00 am
Fresh Prince of Bel Air (SAP)
Will Is from Mars...
Will and Lisa attend counseling with the Jeffersons (Sherman Hemsley, Isabel Sanford).
TV-G
11:30 am
Fresh Prince of Bel Air (SAP)
Wedding Show (Psyche!), The
To avoid family bickering, Will and Lisa elope; guest Isaac Hayes.
TV-G
12:00 pm
Cleveland Show, The
Curious Case of Jr. Working at the Stool, The
Cleveland Jr. takes a job at The Broken Stool, where he infuriates his father by establishing rules; Roberta competes with Lacey, a rich high school student.
TV-14
12:30 pm
Cleveland Show, The
Once Upon a Tyne in New York
Cleveland takes Donna to New York City, but ends up spending most of his time bailing out his friends when they get into trouble; Coach McFall tries to reunite with his former love, actress Tyne Daly.
TV-14
1:00 pm
American Dad
Tears of a Clooney
Francine is feeling depressed as another birthday comes around. In an effort to cheer her up, Stan helps Francine hatch a plan to break George Clooney's heart. Meanwhile, Roger adopts a bunch of orphans to help work his vineyard.
TV-14
1:30 pm
American Dad
Ward Show, A
After he's appointed Steve's legal guardian, Roger has Principal Lewis fired for letting Steve break the school's rules; Stan and Fran vacation at a waterpark.
TV-14
2:00 pm
American Dad
Worst Stan, The
Stan arranges for Principal Lewis to marry Superintendent Riggs so he can finally be a best man at a wedding; Roger's new shorts attract the interest of Ricky Martin.
TV-14
2:30 pm
American Dad
Virtual In-Stanity
Stan uses an avatar of a hot girl to bond with Steve; Roger plots a violent end for frat brothers who stiffed him out of $20 for a limousine ride.
TV-14
3:00 pm
King of Queens, The
Deconstructing Carrie
As Carrie reluctantly approaches her 35th birthday, Doug bribes neighborhood construction workers to hoot and holler at her in order to make her feel younger.
TV-PG
3:30 pm
King of Queens, The
Van, Go
Holly is upset when she learns Carrie was using her to have access to her van; Doug has an argument with a waitress who takes too long to deliver his food.
TV-PG
4:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With the Tiny T-Shirt, The
Ross is upset when Rachel returns his personal belongings and dates Mark. Monica dates a millionaire.
TV-PG
4:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With the Dollhouse, The
Joey thinks he's found his true love. Rachel's boss (ALISON LaPLACA) dates Chandler, creating big trouble for Rachel. Monica inherits a dollhouse.
TV-14
5:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With a Chick and a Duck, The
When Pete buys a restaurant, Monica must make a difficult decision. Ross makes a sacrifice for Rachel. Joey buys Chandler an unusual pet.
TV-PG
5:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With the Screamer, The
Ross tries to convince Rachel that her date (BEN STILLER) is psychotic. Joey's play gets terrible reviews.
TV-PG
6:00 pm
Seinfeld
Nose Job, The
Jerry reconsiders dating a vacuous actress (Tawny Kitaen); George dates a woman with a big nose.
TV-PG
6:30 pm
Seinfeld
Alternate Side, The
Elaine dumps a 66-year-old, who then has a heart attack.
TV-PG
7:00 pm
Seinfeld
Red Dot, The
Elaine's alcoholic boyfriend resumes drinking; Jerry is the unwitting cause.
TV-PG
7:30 pm
Seinfeld
Suicide, The
Jerry fears his girlfriend's comatose ex-boyfriend will awaken; guest Wayne Knight.
TV-PG
8:00 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Jerome is the New Black
Peter and the guys interview potential friends to fill the vacancy left by Cleveland. Meanwhile, Brian discovers that Quagmire hates him.
TV-14
8:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Dog Gone
Brian accidentally kills a dog; the Griffins hire a housekeeper.
TV-14
9:00 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Business Guy
When Mr. Pewterschmidt has a heart attack, Peter takes over his business.
TV-14
9:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Story On Page One, The
Meg writes for the school paper to improve her Ivy League chances.
TV-14
10:00 pm
Movie (DVS)
Clash of the Titans
The ultimate struggle for power pits men against kings and kings against gods. But the war between the gods themselves could destroy the world. Born of a god but raised as a man, Perseus is helpless to save his family from Hades, vengeful god of the underworld. With nothing left to lose, Perseus volunteers to lead a dangerous mission to defeat Hades before he can seize power from Zeus and unleash hell on earth. Leading a daring band of warriors, Perseus sets off on a perilous journey deep into forbidden worlds. Battling unholy demons and fearsome beasts, he will only survive if he can accept his power as a god, defy his fate and create his own destiny.
TV-14
12:00 am
Movie (DVS)
300
In the ancient Battle of Thermopylae, King Leonidas and 300 Spartans fought to the death against Xerxes and his massive Persian army. Facing insurmountable odds, their valor and sacrifice inspire all of Greece to unite against their Persian enemy, drawing a line in the sand for democracy.
TV-14
2:00 am
Movie
Forbidden Kingdom, The
While hunting down bootleg kung-fu DVDs in a Chinatown pawnshop, Jason Tripitikas makes an extraordinary discovery that sends him hurtling back in time to ancient China. There, Jason is charged with a monumental task: he must free the fabled warrior the Monkey King, who has been imprisoned by the powerful Jade War Lord. Jason is joined in his quest by wise kung fu master Lu Yan and a band of misfit warriors including Silent Monk. But only by learning the true precepts of kung fu can Jason hope to succeed - and find a way to get back home.
TV-PG
4:00 am
Married With Children
Just Shoe It
Al relives his glory days as a high school football star (All City '66) when he lands a role in a Super Bowl commercial with ex-jocks Sugar Ray Leonard, Steve Carlton and Ed "Too Tall" Jones.
TV-PG
4:30 am
Married With Children
Rites of Passage
Though Peggy has hired Sticky the Clown to entertain at Bud's 18th birthday party, Al follows Bundy tradition and takes his son to the nudie bar for his first brawl.
TV-PG
5:00 am
Jeff Foxworthy Show, The
Deedee Day
Jeff disagrees when Wayne hires an ex-girlfriend to work at the shop.
TV-PG
5:30 am
My Name is Earl (SAP)
We've Got Spirit
Earl makes some great personal sacrifices to help Randy realize his dream of going to cheerleading camp, and Joy is upset because her son finds Catalina sexier than her.
TV-14
 

Saturday, August 23

6:00 am
Married With Children
Egg and I, The
Steve Rhoades, on the run after hijacking an endangered egg, returns to reclaim his ex-wife, but Marcy doesn't want him back and all the Bundys want is to turn him in to the FBI for the reward money.
TV-PG
6:30 am
Married With Children
Psychic Avengers
When Al takes over Jefferson's psychic scam, rival mystic Madame Inga puts a curse on the entire Bundy family.
TV-PG
7:00 am
Married With Children
My Dinner with Anthrax
It's Al and Peggy's 20th anniversary and Bud and Kelly pack them off to a time-share scam in Florida so heavy metal band Anthrax can party at the Bundy house.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Married With Children
High I.Q.
Bud is up in arms when Kelly is invited to join a group of geniuses, while Al and Jefferson try their hand at putting together a workbench -- and lose a few fingers in the process.
TV-PG
8:00 am
Tyler Perry's House of Payne
Slightly Payneful Truth
Malik, as a favor to Alexandra, helps Consuela prepare for her U.S. citizenship test and Curtis jumps in to help when Malik gets sick. Meanwhile, the barbershop welcomes a new barber, Zach, to the shop, who brings in lots of new clients to Floyd's delight.
TV-PG
8:30 am
Tyler Perry's Meet the Browns
Meet the Big Payoff
Brianna learns an important lesson about the dangers of texting and driving. Brown's cousin shows up with another get rich scheme, Cora talks Brown out of it but the business works.
TV-PG
9:00 am
Are We There Yet ?
Blockbuster Movie Episode, The
Nick and Suzanne try to attend a highly anticipated movie premiere, but when their busy schedules get in the way, both are tempted to secretly go to the movie without the other.
TV-PG
9:30 am
King of Queens, The
Black List
Doug is convinced he is being replaced when Deacon starts spending time with a new friend.
TV-PG
10:00 am
King of Queens, The
Catching Hell
Doug accidentally spills mayonnaise on one of Carrie's most important clients while at a Mets game.
TV-PG
10:30 am
King of Queens, The
Ice Cubed
Carrie is overcome with guilt when she gets a digital music player for free because of the cashier's inattention.
TV-PG
11:00 am
Movie
Spy Next Door, The
Bob Ho is an undercover CIA superspy who decides to give up his career in espionage to settle down with his next-door neighbor and girlfriend, Gillian. But Bob has one more mission to complete before Gillian agrees to marry him--winning over her three opinionated kids. When Gillian suddenly has to leave town, Bob volunteers to babysit the children so he can earn their approval. But when one of the kids mistakenly downloads a top-secret formula from his computer, Bob''s archenemy, a Russian terrorist, moves in for the attack, forcing Bob to juggle the roles of spy and prospective stepfather in the most challenging mission of his career.
TV-PG
1:00 pm
Movie
Forbidden Kingdom, The
While hunting down bootleg kung-fu DVDs in a Chinatown pawnshop, Jason Tripitikas makes an extraordinary discovery that sends him hurtling back in time to ancient China. There, Jason is charged with a monumental task: he must free the fabled warrior the Monkey King, who has been imprisoned by the powerful Jade War Lord. Jason is joined in his quest by wise kung fu master Lu Yan and a band of misfit warriors including Silent Monk. But only by learning the true precepts of kung fu can Jason hope to succeed - and find a way to get back home.
TV-PG
3:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With Ross's Thing, The
Ross finds a strange growth on his buttocks. Phoebe can't choose between two guys. Monica's boyfriend surprises her.
TV-PG
3:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With the Ultimate Fighting Champion, The
Monica's boyfriend cannot stop fighting. Chandler's boss is overly friendly. BILLY CRYSTAL and ROBIN WILLIAMS guest star. Referee JOHN McCARTHY and announcer BRUCE BUFFER guest star as themselves.
TV-PG
4:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One at the Beach, The
The friends stay at a beach house. Phoebe meets someone who knows details about her family. Rachel expresses her jealousy of Ross' uninhibited girlfriend.
TV-PG
4:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With the Jellyfish, The
Ross loves dating Rachel again -- but hates what he did to accomplish the reconciliation. Phoebe gets to know her mother.
TV-PG
5:00 pm
King of Queens, The
Wish Boned
Doug's elation at winning two tickets to the NCAA Final Four turns to guilt when Carrie prompts him to take Arthur instead of Deacon.
TV-PG
5:30 pm
King of Queens, The
Slippery Slope
When Carrie discovers that her and Doug's ski weekend getaway was motivated by a promotion for a free plasma TV that Doug wants, her romantic mood sours.
TV-PG
6:00 pm
Everybody Loves Raymond (SAP)
Favors
Debra complains to Raymond about leaving things around the house. Later on, Raymond receives a personal letter from his idol, Muhammad Ali, he remembers what Debra told him, so he puts it away in a drawer. Unfortunately, Debra so put off by how much 'junk' is in the drawer dumps most of its contents into the trash.
TV-PG
6:30 pm
Everybody Loves Raymond (SAP)
Faux Pas, The
Ray is surprised when his family members are upset about a comment he made to one of the children's friends when he was just trying to be funny.
TV-PG
7:00 pm
Everybody Loves Raymond (SAP)
Tasteless Frank
Marie is astounded when Franks puts salt on her homemade lasagna, leading her to believe that she's lost her tough in the kitchen.
TV-PG
7:30 pm
Everybody Loves Raymond (SAP)
Sister-In-Law
Ray tells Robert that Amy talks too much after she chats with Ray for over an hour while he tries to watch a basketball game on TV. Of course, Robert tells Amy, which leads to a heated confrontation between "Lady Chatterly" and her insensitive brother-in-law.
TV-PG
8:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Pork Chop Indeterminacy, The
The rest of the gang fall for Sheldon's twin sister, and Leonard's plan to win her heart is derailed when Sheldon declares he'll be the one to decide who can date her.
TV-14
8:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Peanut Reaction, The
Penny wants to throw a surprise party for Leonard, but Sheldon's indulgence at an electronics store throws her off-track.
TV-14
9:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Tangerine Factor, The
Penny's break-up spurs Leonard to summon the courage to ask her out, and each goes to Sheldon for advice on their upcoming date.
TV-PG
9:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Bad Fish Paradigm, The
Penny opens up to a reluctant Sheldon after a less-than-stellar first date with Leonard, placing him in the uncomfortable position of having to keep a secret.
TV-14
10:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Codpiece Topology, The
Seeing Penny with another guy sends Leonard back to Leslie Winkle (Sarah Gilbert), much to Sheldon's dismay.
TV-14
10:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Barbarian Sublimation, The
Penny becomes addicted to an online game based on the world of Conan the Barbarian and persistantly pesters Sheldon for advice.
TV-PG
11:00 pm
Sullivan & Son
Monkey Plate, The
Steve and Susan try to throw the perfect celebration for Ok Cha's birthday, but the arrival of Cousin Jenny (Margaret Cho) brings up an old family feud over a monkey plate. Meanwhile, Roy has once-in-a-lifetime field passes to a game, and Owen and Ahmed compete for the extra pass.
TV-14
11:30 pm
Movie
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End
Heroes Will Turner and Elizabeth Swann are allied with Captain Barbossa in a desperate quest to free Captain Jack Sparrow from his mind-blowing trap in Davy Jones Locker; meanwhile, the terrorizing ghost ship, the Flying Dutchman and Davy Jones--under the control of the East India Trading Company--wreaks havoc across the Seven Seas. Navigating through treachery, betrayal and wild waters, they must forge their way to exotic Singapore and confront the cunning Chinese pirate Sao Feng. Now headed beyond the very ends of the earth, each must ultimately choose a side in a final, titanic battle as their lives and fortunes--and the entire future of the freedom-loving pirate way--hang in the balance.
TV-PG
2:30 am
Movie
Time Machine, The
Scientist and inventor Alexander Hartdegen is determined to prove that time travel is possible. His determination is turned to desperation by a personal tragedy that now drives him to want to change the past. Testing his theories with a time machine of his own invention, Hartdegen is hurtled 800,000 years into the future. There he finds a post-apocalyptic world where he discovers that mankind has been divided into the hunter... and the hunted.
TV-PG
4:30 am
Married With Children
Teacher Pets
When Bud's English teacher has the hots for him, he seeks advice from Al, who takes time out of his busy schedule attending birthday parties at Chuck E. Cheese to correct the situation with the usual Bundy flair.
TV-PG
5:00 am
Married With Children
Goodbye Girl, The
While Al takes a world tour via the living room couch and remote control, Kelly gets a job at the TV World theme park.
TV-PG
5:30 am
Married With Children
Gas Station Show, The
Al takes the family out for a Bundy Sunday Fun Day, but when he can't pay for gas, he is forced to work off his debt as an attendant on the full-serve island.
TV-PG
 

Sunday, August 24

6:00 am
Married With Children
England Show (1)
The Bundys win a free trip to England, but little do they know they are being set up for execution, for only the death of every male Bundy can lift the curse of darkness from the English town of Lower Uncton.
TV-PG
6:30 am
Married With Children
England Show (2)
Al, Peggy and Bud arrive in Lower Uncton, where the townspeople prepare to kill them, but lost, globetrotting Kelly, is able to warn them of danger.
TV-PG
7:00 am
Married With Children
England Show (3)
When the townspeople of Upper and Lower Uncton fight over who gets to kill Al and Bud, Al jousts to save his neck, but a little trouble in Customs concerning a certain hotel towel gets him thrown in the dungeon.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Sullivan & Son
Monkey Plate, The
Steve and Susan try to throw the perfect celebration for Ok Cha's birthday, but the arrival of Cousin Jenny (Margaret Cho) brings up an old family feud over a monkey plate. Meanwhile, Roy has once-in-a-lifetime field passes to a game, and Owen and Ahmed compete for the extra pass.
TV-14
8:00 am
Friends (SAP)
One With the Cat, The
Phoebe thinks her adoptive mother's spirit inhabits a stray cat. Joey's attempt to sell his entertainment center proves hazardous. DAN GAUTHIER guest stars.
TV-PG
8:30 am
Friends (SAP)
One With the Cuffs, The
Monica tries to prove her mother wrong. Chandler gets into an embarrassing situation while dating Rachel's boss.
TV-14
9:00 am
Friends (SAP)
One With the Ballroom Dancing, The
Joey makes an odd deal with the building superintendent to prevent him from evicting Rachel and Monica. Phoebe wants to date her sexy massage client.
TV-PG
9:30 am
Friends (SAP)
One With Joey's New Girlfriend, The
Joey thinks that Chandler hates Joey's new girlfriend--but the truth could be even more upsetting. Ross and Rachel try to make each other jealous.
TV-14
10:00 am
Movie
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World's End
Heroes Will Turner and Elizabeth Swann are allied with Captain Barbossa in a desperate quest to free Captain Jack Sparrow from his mind-blowing trap in Davy Jones Locker; meanwhile, the terrorizing ghost ship, the Flying Dutchman and Davy Jones--under the control of the East India Trading Company--wreaks havoc across the Seven Seas. Navigating through treachery, betrayal and wild waters, they must forge their way to exotic Singapore and confront the cunning Chinese pirate Sao Feng. Now headed beyond the very ends of the earth, each must ultimately choose a side in a final, titanic battle as their lives and fortunes--and the entire future of the freedom-loving pirate way--hang in the balance.
TV-PG
1:30 pm
MLB on tbs (CC)
San Francisco Giants @ Washington Nationals
4:30 pm
King of Queens, The
Bed Spread
Doug and Carrie borrow twin beds belonging to Deacon's children after their own bed breaks.
TV-PG
5:00 pm
King of Queens, The
Taste Buds
After Arthur chooses their dinner and movie, Doug stews about not getting his way.
TV-PG
5:30 pm
King of Queens, The
Dog Shelter
Carrie learns Doug's parents have been sheltering him by replacing his beloved dog with look-alikes.
TV-PG
6:00 pm
Movie (DVS)
Shrek 2
After battling a fire-breathing dragon and the evil Lord Farquaad to win the hand of Princess Fiona, Shrek now faces his greatest challenge: the in-laws. Shrek and Princess Fiona return from their honeymoon to find an invitation to visit Fiona's parents, the King and Queen of the Kingdom of Far, Far Away. With Donkey along for the ride, the newlyweds set off. All of the citizens of Far, Far Away turn out to greet their returning Princess, and her parents happily anticipate the homecoming of their daughter and her new Prince. But no one could have prepared them for the sight of their new son-in-law, not to mention how much their little girl had changed. Little did Shrek and Fiona know that their marriage had foiled all of her father's plans for her future--and his own. Now the King must enlist the help of a powerful Fairy Godmother, the handsome Prince Charming and that famed ogre killer 'Puss In Boots' to put right his version of "happily ever after."
TV-PG
8:00 pm
Movie (DVS)
Shrek the Third
Being king isn't for everyone--especially if you're a prickly ogre who smells like the shallow end of a swamp. When Shrek married Fiona, the last thing he wanted was to rule Far Far Away, but when his frogger-in-law, King Harold, suddenly croaks, Shrek is quickly fitted for the crown. Now, unless the reluctant would-be king can find a suitable replacement, he'll be royally screwed for the rest of his days. As if Shrek didn't have enough on his plate, Princess Fiona has another little surprise on the way. With his head spinning and his belly in knots, Shrek sets off on a quest to find the only other possible heir to the throne, Fiona's long-lost cousin Artie, an underachieving medieval high schooler. While the ogre is away, his old nemesis Prince Charming rears his handsome head and returns to the kingdom of Far Far Away with redemption on his shallow little mind. Even with Donkey and the ever-so-suave Puss-in-Boots by their side, it's going to take an ogre-sized effort--and a whole lot of help from Fiona and her band of princesses--for Shrek and Artie to save the day and find their own "Happily Ever After."
TV-PG
10:00 pm
Movie (DVS)
Shrek (TV-PG-DLV)
12:00 am
Movie (DVS)
Shrek 2
After battling a fire-breathing dragon and the evil Lord Farquaad to win the hand of Princess Fiona, Shrek now faces his greatest challenge: the in-laws. Shrek and Princess Fiona return from their honeymoon to find an invitation to visit Fiona's parents, the King and Queen of the Kingdom of Far, Far Away. With Donkey along for the ride, the newlyweds set off. All of the citizens of Far, Far Away turn out to greet their returning Princess, and her parents happily anticipate the homecoming of their daughter and her new Prince. But no one could have prepared them for the sight of their new son-in-law, not to mention how much their little girl had changed. Little did Shrek and Fiona know that their marriage had foiled all of her father's plans for her future--and his own. Now the King must enlist the help of a powerful Fairy Godmother, the handsome Prince Charming and that famed ogre killer 'Puss In Boots' to put right his version of "happily ever after."
TV-PG
2:00 am
Movie (DVS)
Shrek the Third
Being king isn't for everyone--especially if you're a prickly ogre who smells like the shallow end of a swamp. When Shrek married Fiona, the last thing he wanted was to rule Far Far Away, but when his frogger-in-law, King Harold, suddenly croaks, Shrek is quickly fitted for the crown. Now, unless the reluctant would-be king can find a suitable replacement, he'll be royally screwed for the rest of his days. As if Shrek didn't have enough on his plate, Princess Fiona has another little surprise on the way. With his head spinning and his belly in knots, Shrek sets off on a quest to find the only other possible heir to the throne, Fiona's long-lost cousin Artie, an underachieving medieval high schooler. While the ogre is away, his old nemesis Prince Charming rears his handsome head and returns to the kingdom of Far Far Away with redemption on his shallow little mind. Even with Donkey and the ever-so-suave Puss-in-Boots by their side, it's going to take an ogre-sized effort--and a whole lot of help from Fiona and her band of princesses--for Shrek and Artie to save the day and find their own "Happily Ever After."
TV-PG
4:00 am
Married With Children
Magnificent Seven
When Peg's 5-year-old nephew Seven is abandoned at the Bundy doorstep by his loser parents, Peg and Al decide to keep him, much to their kids' dismay.
TV-PG
4:30 am
Married With Children
T-R-A-Something-Something Spells Tramp
When Kelly's date gives her an ultimatum, she finds herself stranded but not alone on a deserted road 15 miles outside Chicago. Meanwhile, Peg tries to put some spice back into her marriage by spending Saturday night "communicating" with Al.
TV-PG
5:00 am
Married With Children
Every Bundy Has a Birthday
When Seven can't remember his birthday, Peggy assigns him one, selecting the next day, which also happens to be Al's birthday. The family decides to go to the town park to celebrate, only to find it's been rented by a rich, snobby family.
TV-PG
5:30 am
Married With Children
Al on the Rocks
When Peggy panics over Seven's sneezes, she begins piling up medical bills, forcing Al to take on a second job as a "topless" bartender.
TV-PG
 

Monday, August 25

6:00 am
Rules of Engagement
Play Ball
Audrey considers quitting her job when she realizes it's making her life miserable. Although things are heated between Allison and Timmy, she wants to put their sex life aside so they can spend time getting to know each other.
TV-14
6:30 am
My Name is Earl (SAP)
Quit Your Snitchin'
Earl buys Randy a car so that he can finally have something better than what Earl has, but it is stolen before he can present it to Randy; with his criminal days behind him, Earl no longer is protected by the code that criminals don't steal from one another; and he resorts to becoming a snitch.
TV-14
7:00 am
Married With Children
What I Did for Love
Peg tries everything in the book to renew Al's romantic interest in her -- up to and including promises of five-course meals.
TV-14
7:30 am
Married With Children
Frat Chance
Desperate for a date, Bud founds his own community college fraternity in his garage.
TV-PG
8:00 am
Are We There Yet ?
Pocket Dial Episode, The
After Nick gets pocket-dialed by Suzanne and overhears her telling Gigi something personal, he gets back at Suzanne by fake pocketing dialing her.
TV-PG
8:30 am
Tyler Perry's Meet the Browns
Meet the Wing Man
Anthony convinces Will to be his wingman when they meet up with two women. The women show up at the house.
TV-PG
9:00 am
Tyler Perry's House of Payne
Through the Fire
Janine's mom takes over the house, annoying a depressed C.J. Meanwhile, Curtis gig as the Safety Seal goes up in flames.
TV-PG
9:30 am
Full House
Divorce Court
When the men argue over who is the best athlete in the house, the decide to resolve the argument with a race. But the competition becomes serious when Becky arrives to videotape the event for the show.
TV-G
10:00 am
Fresh Prince of Bel Air (SAP)
Slum Like It...Not
Will and Carlton try to bring Phil's new real estate investment up to code.
TV-G
10:30 am
Fresh Prince of Bel Air (SAP)
As the Will Turns
The lead in a daytime drama (Leanne Hunley) wants Will for her co-star.
TV-G
11:00 am
Fresh Prince of Bel Air (SAP)
Save the Last Trance for Me
Carlton hires a hypnotist for Will's bash; Nicky interviews for school.
TV-G
11:30 am
Fresh Prince of Bel Air (SAP)
Cold Feet, Hot Body
A new student (Robin Givens) trying to seduce Will befriends Lisa.
TV-G
12:00 pm
Cleveland Show, The
Brown Knight, The
Cleveland is mistakenly hailed as a hero after he ends up getting shot in an armed robbery; Rallo discovers what Roberta's "that time of the month" is all about.
TV-14
12:30 pm
Cleveland Show, The
Gone with the Wind
Cleveland's flatulence interrupts a karaoke contest at the Broken Stool, embarrassing Donna no end; Cleveland and Donna have bad news for Cleveland Jr.
TV-14
1:00 pm
American Dad
Scarlett Getter, The
Francine is disgusted when Stan reestablishes contact with a crush from CIA boot camp; Bullock hires a bounty hunter to capture Roger; Steve wears Hayley's panties after concluding they bring him luck.
TV-14
1:30 pm
American Dad
Season's Beatings
When a play about the life of Jesus Christ turns into a brutal battle between Stan and Roger, Stan is excommunicated from the Christian church; Hayley and Jeff adopt an infant son whom Stan believes is the Antichrist.
TV-14
2:00 pm
American Dad
Unbrave One, The
With Roger's help, Steve dresses up as a superhero to prove his bravery to his father; when Stan discovers that Fran may be pregnant, he hopes the infant will turn out to be the brave child he never had.
TV-14
2:30 pm
American Dad
Stanny Tendergrass
Hoping to show Steve the value of hard work, Stan gets Steve a job at a country club; Francine struggles to come up with her own catchphrase.
TV-14
3:00 pm
King of Queens, The
Buy Curious
When their neighbor passes away, Carrie convinces Doug it would be a smart investment to buy the house and sell it for profit.
TV-PG
3:30 pm
King of Queens, The
Major Disturbance
The Palmers' vacation plans are ruined when Doug frightens Major so much that he refuses to be babysat by the Heffernans. In the meantime, Arthur begins hiring out himself and friends from the senior center to ride with solo drivers so they can use car-pool lanes.
TV-PG
4:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With the Dirty Girl, The
Ross' beautiful new girlfriend has a disgusting secret. Chandler becomes more familiar with Joey's girlfriend.
TV-PG
4:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where Chandler Crosses the Line, The
Chandler is guilt-ridden after kissing Joey's girlfriend. Ross' musical talents are not as amazing as he and Phoebe think
TV-PG
5:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where They're Going To Party!, The
The guys try to be spontaneous and wild. After Monica gives a bad restaurant review, she receives a new career opportunity. Rachel's boss offers her a promotion.
TV-PG
5:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With Phoebe's Uterus, The
Phoebe's half-brother makes an astounding announcement and a thought-provoking request. Joey finds himself in a class struggle.
TV-14
6:00 pm
Seinfeld
Subway, The
The friends encounter adventure on the subway.
TV-PG
6:30 pm
Seinfeld
Pez Dispenser, The
George worries over gaining the upper hand in his current romance.
TV-PG
7:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Griffin Equivalency, The
Full of confidence following being named one of People's "30 to Watch Under 30", Raj hits on Penny and becomes impossibly arrogant.
TV-14
7:30 pm
Mom
Pilot
Christy, a newly sober single mother of two, struggles to get her life together in Napa Valley. Her self-improvement quest is challenged, however, when her estranged mother, Bonnie, re-enters her life hoping to make up for past wrongs.
TV-14
8:00 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Dial Meg For Murder
Peter participates in a rodeo; Meg dates a prison escapee.
TV-14
8:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Extra Large Medium
Peter believes he possesses psychic powers; Chris falls for a classmate with Down's Syndrome.
TV-14
9:00 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Peter-assment
Peter turns journalist after TMZ buys his amateur video; Peter is sexually-harassed by his boss.
TV-14
9:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Brian Griffin's House of Payne
Brian's television pilot script gets picked up by a network, but he's horrified when changes are made to his concept; Chris and Meg accidentally knock Stewie unconscious.
TV-14
10:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Euclid Alternative, The
An intervention is used to try to force Sheldon to overcome his fear of driving.
TV-14
10:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Cooper-Nowitzki Theorem, The
Sheldon, and his friends, are mystified when a younger undergraduate student is attracted to him.
TV-14
11:00 pm
Conan (CC)
Episode 4581
Guests: Channing Tatum and Jonah Hill, Group Love
TV-14
12:00 am
Office, The (SAP)
Did I Stutter?
After Stanley snaps at Michael during a meeting, Toby tries to convince him that Stanley needs to be dealt with. Dwight buys Andy's car. Pam's forced to wear old glasses instead of her contacts.
TV-PG
12:30 am
Conan (CC)
Episode 4581
Guests: Channing Tatum and Jonah Hill, Group Love
TV-14
1:30 am
Office, The (SAP)
Job Fair
Michael, Oscar, and Darryl go with Pam to her alma mater's job fair, trying to find a summer intern. In an attempt to woo a major client, Jim, Andy, and Kevin go golfing. Back at the office, Dwight tries to prevent the rest of the staffers from leaving early.
TV-PG
2:00 am
Movie
Whiteout
For U.S. Marshal Carrie Stetko, things are about to get even more dangerous. The only law enforcement in this unforgiving territory, she has just been sent to investigate a body on the ice. Antarctica's first homicide. A shocking discovery in itself, it will plunge her into an even more bizarre mystery and the revelation of secrets long-buried under the endless ice--secrets that someone believes are still worth killing for. As Stetko races to find the killer before he finds her, winter is already closing in. In the deadly Antarctic whiteout, she won't see him till he's a breath away.
TV-14
4:00 am
Married With Children
Chicago Wine Party, The
With the elections coming up, Al convinces his family to register and vote for the first time in an effort to stop a proposed tax on beer. When the tax increase passes, Al leads an angry protest to overturn the bill.
TV-PG
4:30 am
Married With Children
Kelly Doesn't Live Here Anymore
When Al can't afford to pay the bills, he convinces Kelly to get a job. Finding employment as a waitress at a burger joint, Kelly realizes why mother Peg has never worked a day in her life.
TV-PG
5:00 am
Married With Children
Rock of Ages
When Al wins a trip to Hawaii, he poses as an aging rock star to get into the first class lounge. Inside the airport lounge, he meets rock heroes John Sebastian, Peter Noone, Mark Lindsay, Robby Krieger, Richie Havens and Spencer Davis. Mistaking him for a fellow rocker, the musicians convince Al to perform with them at a benefit.
TV-PG
5:30 am
My Name is Earl (SAP)
Little Bad Voodoo Brother
Earl plans a Halloween party for Dodge and Earl Jr, while Catalina's nephew Oscar visits. This poses an opportunity for Randy to become the big brother he always wanted to be.
TV-14
 

Tuesday, August 26

6:00 am
Rules of Engagement
Baked
Audrey embarks on a new start after quitting her demanding job; however, her time at home makes her stir crazy, prompting her to start a cookie business. The ever polite Timmy is getting advice from the guys who encourage him to be more of a dude than a gentleman.
TV-14
6:30 am
My Name is Earl (SAP)
Sold a Guy a Lemon Car
When a new neighbor moves in next door to Earl and Randy's apartment, Earl is reminded of a scam he and Joy pulled on just that guy by selling him a lemon car, so Earl wants to make up for it. Meanwhile, Joy wants to win a science fair in order to get a necklace.
TV-14
7:00 am
Married With Children
Death of a Shoe Salesman
While shopping for a burial plot for the family, Al and Peg discover they don't have enough money, so they have to be buried in the same casket.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Married With Children
Old College Try
Bud's big plans to move into his college dorm are destroyed when Al and Peg manage to get their hands on his scholarship money and go on a shopping spree. Broke and dormless, Bud is forced back into the Bundy household.
TV-14
8:00 am
Are We There Yet ?
Secret Episode, The
Lindsey has a new crush and Gigi has a new boyfriend, but when certain secrets can't be kept, a web of misinformation nearly ruins both situations.
TV-PG
8:30 am
Tyler Perry's Meet the Browns
Meet the Seoul Sister
Colonel discovers that his first fiance didn't die in the War after all. A classmate of Joaquin's befriends him to get close to Brianna.
TV-PG
9:00 am
Tyler Perry's House of Payne
Bible, The: King Payne's Version
Ella struggles to fit in with the college students in her study group. Meanwhile, Curtis teaches Jazmine's Bible study group.
TV-PG
9:30 am
Full House
Dr. Dare Rides Again
When an old friend comes to visit, Jesse tries to relive the recklessness he once thought was so terrific.
TV-G
10:00 am
Fresh Prince of Bel Air (SAP)
To Thine Own Self Be Blue...and Gold
Phil's fraternity brother, a successful businessman, offers Will an internship.
TV-G
10:30 am
Fresh Prince of Bel Air (SAP)
Love in an Elevator
Will, Carlton and a friend are trapped in a hotel elevator.
TV-G
11:00 am
Fresh Prince of Bel Air (SAP)
For Whom the Wedding Bells Toll
Will has wedding jitters; his mom and Lisa's dad clash.
TV-G
11:30 am
Fresh Prince of Bel Air (SAP)
Burnin' Down the House
Will causes a kitchen fire -- just as an important dinner guest arrives.
TV-G
12:00 pm
Cleveland Show, The
Brotherly Love
Rallo helps Junior as he tries to win the heart of Chanel, a girl he's infatuated with; Cleveland becomes Terry's pimp.
TV-14
12:30 pm
Cleveland Show, The
Brown History Month
After Cleveland and Lester get into a fight during Black History month, a judge orders them to work together on a float for a unity parade; Rallo tries to steal Lester's confederate flag, only to become trapped under Kendra's body.
TV-14
1:00 pm
American Dad
Wheels & The Legman And The Case of Grandpa's Key
Stan joins Wheels and the Legman as they attempt to solve a mystery involving a key; Klaus has his photo taken for a pet Web site.
TV-14
1:30 pm
American Dad
Old Stan in the Mountain
An old man places a hex on Stan, making him age at an alarming rate; Roger and Francine rehearse for a dance competition...but Roger has something up his sleeve.
TV-14
2:00 pm
American Dad
Wrestler, The
Stan panics when Barry comes close to toppling his longstanding wrestling record at Steve's school.and ends up teaching Roger how to wrestle so he can defeat Barry.
TV-14
2:30 pm
American Dad
Dr. Klaustus
After tricking Roger into going to Iraq, Klaus assumes the role of the Smiths' psychologist, but his emphasis on emotional honesty backfires.
TV-14
3:00 pm
King of Queens, The
Brace Yourself
An unflattering picture by Major prompts Arthur to ask Doug and Carrie for braces. Meanwhile, Kelly hires an out-of-work Spence to help out around the house.
TV-PG
3:30 pm
King of Queens, The
Moxie Moron
Doug and Deacon fill in for Supervisor O'Boyle at the IPS depot. Carrie regrets her decision to complain about her company's chinzy gift for work on an important project.
TV-PG
4:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With the Embryos, The
Phoebe finds out whether she is pregnant or not. A simple challenge escalates into a full-blown contest between the guys and the women.
TV-PG
4:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With Rachel's Crush, The
Rachel schemes to get a handsome client to ask her on a date. Chandler's jealousy causes problems with his girlfriend.
TV-PG
5:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With Joey's Dirty Day, The
CHARLTON HESTON (As Himself) finds Joey in a compromising position during a movie shoot. Rachel regrets asking Ross for a favor.
TV-14
5:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With All the Rugby, The
Chandler's annoying former girlfriend reappears. Ross plays rugby to impress Emily -- with painful results.
TV-PG
6:00 pm
Seinfeld
Boyfriend, The (Part I)
Jerry and Elaine vie for time with his new friend, baseball player Keith Hernandez.
TV-PG
6:30 pm
Seinfeld
Boyfriend, The (Part 2)
Jerry and Elaine vie for time with his new friend, baseball player Keith Hernandez.
TV-PG
7:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Panty Pinata Polarization, The
When Sheldon bans Penny from the apartment for numerous minor infractions, she decides to retaliate. Howard and Raj search for the America's Next Top Model house.
TV-PG
7:30 pm
Mom
Small Nervous Breakdown and a Misplaced Fork, A
Christy agrees to go on a date with Adam, a seemingly normal guy she meets at her restaurant. Midway through their date, however, Christy realizes how challenging it is to date without drinking and how unprepared she is for it, so she flees. Later, Adam catches up with her and they share a romantic dinner in her car. The date goes very well and Christy likes Adam a lot, but she knows she's not ready for a relationship yet. Afterwards, Christy decides that she needs to break up with Gabriel to get her life back in order, which she does immediately after she accidentally hits him with her car. Meanwhile, Bonnie watches Roscoe for the night and teaches him how to play blackjack.
TV-14
8:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Lizard-Spock Expansion, The
Sheldon wants to use an alternate version of rock-paper-scissors to help resolve conflicts. A girl (Sara Rue) Wolowitz has a major crush on falls for Leonard.
TV-PG
8:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
White Asparagus Triangulation, The
Sheldon is overexuberant that Leonard finally has a girlfriend (Sara Rue) matching his high standards.
TV-PG
9:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Vartabedian Conundrum, The
Leonard seeks Penny's counsel when his relationship with Stephanie (Sara Rue) takes off faster than he'd like. Sheldon's hypochondriac tendencies get the better of him.
TV-PG
9:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Bath Item Gift Hypothesis, The
Sheldon irks the gangs with his obession with proper Christmas gift protocol. Lenoard's crushed when Penny dates a colleague of his.
TV-PG
10:00 pm
Sullivan & Son
Sullivan's Travels
When Steve laments that he never gets time off from the bar, Jack shows him what life would have been like if he had checked out at crucial points in the gang's life, and it's not pretty.
TV-14
10:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Killer Robot Instability, The
Penny's criticism of Wolowitz's romantic life pushes him into depression and AWOL for a fighting robot battle the rest of guys are depending on him for.
TV-14
11:00 pm
Conan (CC)
Episode 4583
Guests: Jack White, Amber Stevens
TV-14
12:00 am
Sullivan & Son
Sullivan's Travels
When Steve laments that he never gets time off from the bar, Jack shows him what life would have been like if he had checked out at crucial points in the gang's life, and it's not pretty.
TV-14
12:30 am
Conan (CC)
Episode 4583
Guests: Jack White, Amber Stevens
TV-14
1:30 am
Office, The (SAP)
Goodbye, Toby Part 1
Michael throws an extravagant going-away party for Toby, and falls in love with the woman who is replacing him. Jim plans to propose to Pam at the party, but gets out-staged. Back at corporate, Ryan is arrested for fraud.
TV-PG
2:00 am
Movie
Sky High
It all begins at a secret school in the clouds like none on earth: Sky High, the first and only high school for kids with super-human powers going through crime-fighting puberty. At Sky High, the student body throw flames with their footballs, study Villainy with their Chemistry and are divided into "Heroes" and "Sidekicks" instead of jocks and geeks. It's an out-of-this-world yet completely recognizable place where cool gadgetry, rampant bravery and awe-inspiring magical skills mix it up with parental battles, peer pressure and dating trouble--with explosively fun results. This year's class features some of the best, brightest and most powerfully gifted super-teens ever assembled. And then there's Will Stronghold. When you're the son of the world's most legendary super heroes, The Commander and Jetstream, people expect you to live up to the family name The problem is that Will is starting with no superpowers of his own and, worst of all, instead of joining the ranks of the "Hero" class, he finds himself relegated to being a "Sidekick." Now he must somehow survive his freshman year while dealing with an overbearing gym coach, a bully with super speed and a dangerous rebel with a grudge (and the ability to shoot fire from his hands)--not to mention the usual angst, parental expectations and girl problems that accompany teenage life. But when an evil villain threatens his family, friends and the very sanctity of Sky High, Will must use his newfound superpowers to save the day and prove himself a "Hero" worthy of the family tradition.
TV-PG
4:00 am
Married With Children
Christmas
Al does his yearly pre-Christmas inspection of the family and can find they've done nothing wrong, which means he has to buy them presents, but he has to take a job as a Department Store Santa to pay for the gifts.
TV-PG
4:30 am
Married With Children
Wedding Show, The
As the Bundys prepare to attend their cousin Jimmy's wedding, everything begins to go wrong. Al can't find his suit, Peg can't get her make-up right, Kelly and the bridesmaids think they have on the wrong dresses and Bud gets caught with the bride.
TV-PG
5:00 am
Married With Children
It Doesn't Get Any Better Than This
Al takes a fishing trip alone, only to have Peg and Marcy show up and spoil his vacation.
TV-PG
5:30 am
My Name is Earl (SAP)
Earl and Joy's Anniversary
Earl remembers his first wedding anniversary and the events that finally lead to their break up, involving Earl's cousin Blake and an invasion of killer bees.
TV-14
 

Wednesday, August 27

6:00 am
Rules of Engagement
Mannequin Head Ball
Stuck with a store Jeff leased for Audrey's fleeting cookie shop, he and Adam stay behind to clean up and discover a new game using the heads of mannequins.
TV-14
6:30 am
My Name is Earl (SAP)
Nature's Game Show
Earl loses his list when tornadoes blow through Camden County, and Catalina has a religious experience. Meanwhile, Joy is offended when Darnell tells her that he is smarter than her, so she wants to show him who is really the smart one.
TV-14
7:00 am
Married With Children
Heels on Wheels
Kelly buys a motorcycle to put some fun back into her life, but disaster strikes when Al decides to take the bike out for a spin.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Married With Children
Mr. Empty Pants
Peggy's unflattering cartoon makes Al a reluctant celebrity.
TV-PG
8:00 am
Are We There Yet ?
Life Insurance Episode, The
Although Nick and Suzanne realize that Life Insurance would be a good decision to protect their family, Nick has reservations about buying a policy.
TV-PG
8:30 am
Tyler Perry's Meet the Browns
Meet the Neighbor
Cora struggles to tell an intrusive neighbor, no. Joaquin sabotages Brianna just as a college recruiter comes to visit.
TV-PG
9:00 am
Tyler Perry's House of Payne
Matured Investment
Miranda sees a different side to Calvin when he unexpectedly has to watch Calvin, Jr. Meanwhile, Curtis and Ella get new neighbors who have some new ideas about relationships.
TV-14
9:30 am
Full House
Greatest Birthday on Earth, The
Jesse and Stephanie improvise a circus-themed birthday party for Michelle when they're locked in a gas station and unable to attend the real party being given at the Tanner house.
TV-G
10:00 am
Fresh Prince of Bel Air (SAP)
Get a Job
By booking a famous director (Chris Rock), Will becomes Hilary's talent coordinator.
TV-G
10:30 am
Fresh Prince of Bel Air (SAP)
Stress Related
Will overmedicates ailing Hilary before a meeting with a potential sponsor.
TV-G
11:00 am
Fresh Prince of Bel Air (SAP)
Bourgie Sings the Blues
Posing as his cousin, Will handles Carlton's Princeton interview; guest B.B. King.
TV-G
11:30 am
Fresh Prince of Bel Air (SAP)
Script Formerly Known As..., The
Dismissed juror (George Wallace) from Phil's big case appears on Hilary's show.
TV-G
12:00 pm
Cleveland Show, The
Cleveland's Angels
After Cleveland gambles away money meant for Roberta's college fund, Kendra, Donna and Arianna embark on a mission to retrieve the money from a crooked riverboat casino.
TV-14
12:30 pm
Cleveland Show, The
You're the Best Man, Cleveland Brown!
Freight Train and Cookie announce their plans to re-marry; Cleveland is chosen to be best man...until he's replaced by Donna's ex-husband; Cleveland Jr. offers to pay for the wedding ceremony after he inherits money from his mother.
TV-14
1:00 pm
American Dad
Stan's Best Friend
When Steve's new puppy is gravely injured, Stan attempts to save the dog using a doctor who specializes in alternative medicine.
TV-14
1:30 pm
American Dad
Less Money, Mo' Problems
Stan bets Jeff and Hayley that he and Fran can live on minimum wage for one month; Roger and Steve test-drive a Ferrari after Klaus brags about having driven one.
TV-14
2:00 pm
American Dad
Kidney Stays in the Picture, The
When Hayley experiences kidney failure, Stan and Fran travel into the past to find the man who may be Hayley's real father.
TV-14
2:30 pm
American Dad
Ricky Spanish
Roger makes amends for the trouble he caused after he adopted a sociopathic persona; Stan and Fran get an unexpected visit from a Nigerian man whom they aided through a relief organization.
TV-14
3:00 pm
King of Queens, The
Ruff Goin'
Feeling hurt over not being invited to a block party, Doug adopts a dog just to prove to the neighbors that he's an okay guy - a decision he soon regrets. Meanwhile, Arthur falls prey to the gambling bug when trying to help Danny beat it.
TV-PG
3:30 pm
King of Queens, The
Mama Cast
Doug decides to spend the Heffernans' tax refund on an ice cream truck. Meanwhile, Carrie fills in as a pretend mom at model homes, and discovers a reemergence of her maternal desires.
TV-PG
4:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With the Fake Party, The
Trying to become better acquainted with her sexy client, Rachel inadvertently thwarts Ross' plans for a romantic evening with his girlfriend.
TV-PG
4:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With the Free Porn, The
Monica helps Ross tell his girlfriend that he loves her. Phoebe gets some surprising news about her pregnancy.
TV-14
5:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With Rachel's New Dress, The
Ross and his ex-wife become jealous when their lovers go to England together. Rachel's plans to seduce her boyfriend go awry.
TV-PG
5:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With All the Haste, The
Drastic changes occur in Ross' relationship with Emily. Monica and Rachel will do anything to get their old apartment back from the guys.
TV-PG
6:00 pm
Seinfeld
Fixup, The
Jerry and Elaine play matchmaker for George.
TV-PG
6:30 pm
Seinfeld
Limo, The
Jerry and George commandeer a limousine headed for a neo-Nazi rally.
TV-PG
7:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Friendship Algorithim, The
Looking to get friendly with Barry Kripke to gain access to a piece of high-tech lab equipment, Sheldon develops a flowchart process to make friends.
TV-14
7:30 pm
Mom
Loathing and Tube Socks
Christy is having a difficult time in all her relationships as of late, getting into frequent arguments with her mother, her kids, and her boss. Marjorie, a fellow AA member, casually suggests that since Christy in the common denominator, maybe she's the problem. Christy decides to put out more positive energy so she can get positive energy in return. Unfortunately, she mostly ends up frustrated in her efforts.
TV-14
8:00 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
April in Quahog
When a black hole threatens to destroy the Earth, Peter tells Lois he doesn't like their children.
TV-14
8:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Brian and Stewie
Brian and Stewie are locked up inside a bank vault for an entire episode.
TV-14
9:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Financial Permeability, The
When Sheldon loans money to Penny so she can pay her rent, it leads to Leonard coming face-to-face with her ex, Kurt.
TV-PG
9:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Maternal Capacitance, The
A visit from Leonard's mother (Christine Baranski) ends up bringing him and Penny closer.
TV-PG
10:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Cushion Saturation, The
Paintball leads to a squabble between Sheldon and Penny, as well as romance between Howard and Leslie.
TV-14
10:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Terminator Decoupling, The
The gang is thrilled when they see Terminator: The Sarah Connor Chronicles' Summer Glau is also aboard their train to San Francisco for a scientific symposium. Meanwhile, Sheldon frets over having forgotten a paper he wants to present to George Smoot.
TV-PG
11:00 pm
Conan (CC)
Episode 4588
Guests: Kevin Hart, Rhona Mitra, Atmosphere
TV-14
12:00 am
Office, The (SAP)
Goodbye, Toby Part 2
Michael realizes that his ex-girlfriend, Jan, is pregnant. Meanwhile, Jim's intention to propose to Pam is postponed when he hears that Andy has proposed to Angela. After accepting Andy's proposal, a bored Angela begins an affair with Dwight.
TV-PG
12:30 am
Conan (CC)
Episode 4588
Guests: Kevin Hart, Rhona Mitra, Atmosphere
TV-14
1:30 am
Office, The (SAP)
Weight Loss Part 1
Michael tries to motivate the Scranton branch to lose weight as part of an interoffice competition. Jim is lost after Pam leaves for art school in New York, and Angela continues to see Dwight even though she is now engaged to Andy.
TV-PG
2:00 am
Movie
Larry the Cable Guy: Health Inspector
Larry is a big city health inspector who is happy with his usual beat of greasy spoon diners and low-rent ethnic restaurants. But his easygoing life is turned upside-down when he''s saddled with a straight-arrow rookie partner and assigned the biggest case of his career: investigating an outbreak of mysterious food poisonings at the city''s swankiest restaurants. Infuriating restaurateurs with his bad manners, Larry still manages to charm a sweet, shy waitress into a budding romance. But when his unorthodox methods cost him his job, Larry has to go undercover to bring the conspirators to justice and "Git-R-Done!"
TV-14
4:00 am
Married With Children
You Can't Miss
Bud goes on a dating game for "nerds."
TV-PG
4:30 am
Married With Children
Peggy and the Pirates
While reading a romance novel, Peg fantasizes that she is a lady in distress and Al is the pirate who saves her.
TV-PG
5:00 am
Married With Children
Go for the Old
Al becomes obsessed with his age after a theater cashier gives him a senior citizen's discount.
TV-PG
5:30 am
My Name is Earl (SAP)
Reading Is a Fundamental Case
Earl takes a walk on the wild side when he helps an old friend who's "gone native" re-integrate into society: he discovers the feral Raynard living in the abandoned Bookmobile they stole years before, and feels it is his job to rehabilitate him.
TV-14
 

Thursday, August 28

6:00 am
Rules of Engagement
Les-bro
Jeff and Audrey embark on finding a surrogate mother, only to run into problems with the interviewing process. Russell's wealthy mother comes to town, and after some counseling on how to be a man from Timmy, reluctantly decides to have her stop paying his rent.
TV-14
6:30 am
My Name is Earl (SAP)
Orphan Earl
In this Christmas episode, Earl wants to make up for a scam he did before he found Karma, but he soon finds out that Joy is still running the scam he started.
TV-14
7:00 am
Married With Children
Un-Alful Entry
Al becomes a local hero when he stands up to a burglar.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Married With Children
Movie Show
Kelly gets an unpleasant surprise when the family takes her to a movie on her birthday.
TV-PG
8:00 am
Are We There Yet ?
Hypertension Episode, The
When Nick gets a doctors report that he has high blood pressure, Suzanne does everything she can to make sure his stress levels stay low.
TV-PG
8:30 am
Tyler Perry's Meet the Browns
Meet the Alternative
Darnell is uncomfortable when Cora invites him to bible study and the church lady hits on him. Simone contemplates putting her baby up for adoption.
TV-PG
9:00 am
Tyler Perry's House of Payne
Who's Your Daddy, Now?
C.J. finally meets his birth father. Curtis helps Jazmine pick an instrument for school.
TV-PG
9:30 am
Full House
Aftershocks
Stephanie's reaction to an earthquake causes a problem that Danny can't seem to solve. D.J. has a problem with a pimple on her nose.
TV-G
10:00 am
Fresh Prince of Bel Air (SAP)
Not I Barbeque
Will and Carlton challenge Sandra and Tiffany to a game of strip Scrabble.
TV-G
10:30 am
Fresh Prince of Bel Air (SAP)
Not with My Cousin You Don't
Will and Carlton try to halt Ashley's planned intimate evening with her beau (Jaleel White).
TV-PG
11:00 am
Fresh Prince of Bel Air (SAP)
Viva Lost Wages
Phil takes the boys to Las Vegas for Carlton's 21st birthday; guest Wayne Newton.
TV-G
11:30 am
Fresh Prince of Bel Air (SAP)
There's the Rub (Part 1)
Will and Phil get arrested at a massage parlor; Hilary and Carlton feed homeless people.
TV-G
12:00 pm
Cleveland Show, The
Harder, Better, Faster, Browner
Cleveland helps ignite the career of a struggling rapper after the pair produce a new hit single.
TV-14
12:30 pm
Cleveland Show, The
Cleveland Live!
In this "live" broadcast of "The Cleveland Show," complications ensue when Cleveland and Donna attempt to celebrate their anniversary.
TV-14
1:00 pm
American Dad
Toy Whorey
Stan wants Steve to stop playing with toys and be a man, so he brings Steve to Mexico to make love to a prostitute; Roger attempts to retrieve a bottle of wine from Terry and Greg.
TV-14
1:30 pm
American Dad
Love, American Dad Style
Roger (Seth MacFarlane) opens a crooner's bar in the Smith family's attic and recruits Hayley (Rachael MacFarlane) as his main entertainer. Soon, all of Langley Falls becomes enthralled by her singing voice - including Roger, who takes his crush on Hayley a bit too far. Meanwhile, Stan tries to prove his manhood by negotiating a good deal on a new car.
TV-14
2:00 pm
American Dad
Killer Vacation
The Smith family's tropical vacation turns out to be anything but relaxing when Stan is assigned a mission to kill the activities director at their resort, whom his boss at the CIA insists is an ex-war criminal. Meanwhile, Hayley (Rachael MacFarlane) and Jeff (Jeff Fischer) try to rekindle their fading romance, while Roger, as his latest persona, Abigail Lemonparty, falls for an older gentleman.
TV-14
2:30 pm
American Dad
Can I Be Frank (With You)
Francine dresses up in a man suit so she can spend more time with Stan; Steve forms a boy band with his friends.
TV-14
3:00 pm
King of Queens, The
Home Cheapo
Carrie is convinced that Deacon and Kelly were only able to afford a vacation home by being cheap. Meanwhile, Arthur tries to help Spence get a new job.
TV-PG
3:30 pm
King of Queens, The
Affair Trade
Doug panics when he starts getting sexy phone messages meant for another Doug Heffernan, but Carrie doesn't seem to care. Meanwhile, Danny tries to force a wedge between Spence and a new lady friend.
TV-PG
4:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With All the Wedding Dresses, The
Rachel reacts drastically to Ross' engagement. Chandler becomes exasperated by Joey's snoring.
TV-PG
4:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With the Invitation, The
Rachel and the engaged Ross reminisce separately about when they dated each other. The friends get invitations to Ross' wedding--but not all of them are going.
TV-PG
5:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With Ross's Wedding (Part 1), The
Rachel stays home while the others go to England for Ross' wedding. CHRISTINA PICKLES, RICHARD BRANSON, JENNIFER SAUNDERS, TOM CONTI, ELLIOTT GOULD and SARAH, THE DUCHESS OF YORK guest star.
TV-PG
5:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With Ross's Wedding (Part 2), The
Rachel frantically tries to get to London before Ross marries Emily. Ross' father clashes with Emily's. OLIVIA WILLIAMS and HUGH LAURIE guest star.
TV-PG
6:00 pm
Seinfeld
Good Samaritan, The
Jerry tracks down a hit-and-run driver, then wants to date her; guest Helen Slater.
TV-PG
6:30 pm
Seinfeld
Letter, The
Jerry's new girlfriend is a plagiarist.
TV-PG
7:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Work Song Nanocluster, The
Penny's business selling hair accessories out of her apartment gets out of hand when an over-caffeinated Sheldon takes charge.
TV-14
7:30 pm
Mom
Six Thousand Bootleg T-Shirts and a Prada Hangbag
Christy hits a rough patch when her car breaks down and she can't scrounge up the money to cover the cost of repairs. However, when she meets Regina, a woman in even more dire financial straights, at an AA meeting, Christy tries to be altruistic and help her. Christy and Bonnie eventually learn that Regina has embezzled millions of dollars, is addicted to painkillers and alcohol, and generally has hit rock bottom, but their small act of kindness helps Regina keep going. Later, Christy's financial fortunes take a turn for the better after Baxter strikes it rich selling black market Viagra from Mexico.
TV-14
8:00 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Quagmire's Dad
Quagmire can't accept his dad's lifestyle choices when they involve Brian.
TV-14
8:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Splendid Source, The
Peter and his friends embark on a journey to find the source of the world's dirty jokes.
TV-14
9:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Dead Hooker Juxtaposition, The
Penny feels threatened when another sexy woman moves into the apartment building and angered when she senses the guys are being taken advantage of.
TV-14
9:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Hofstadter Isotope, The
A fellow comic book enthusiast's hitting on Penny leads to Leonard, Raj, and Howard going to a bar's Ladies' Night.
TV-PG
10:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Vegas Renormalization, The
Leonard and Raj take Wolowitz to Las Vegas to help him get over his break-up with Leslie (Sara Gilbert). Sheldon, home alone and looking forward to it, locks himself out and has only one other place to stay; Penny's.
TV-14
10:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Classified Materials Turbulence, The
Leonard is torn between being honest or self-serving when Stuart asks his advice for an upcoming second date with Penny. Wolowitz realizes there's a crucial error in a toilet he designed for the International Space Station.
TV-PG
11:00 pm
Conan (CC)
Episode 4596
Guests: Jason Segel & Cameron Diaz, Matt Walsh, "WEIRD" AL YANKOVIC.
TV-14
12:00 am
Office, The (SAP)
Weight Loss Part 2
Michael tries to motivate the Scranton branch to lose weight as part of an interoffice competition. Jim is lost after Pam leaves for art school in New York, and Angela continues to see Dwight even though she is now engaged to Andy.
TV-PG
12:30 am
Conan (CC)
Episode 4596
Guests: Jason Segel & Cameron Diaz, Matt Walsh, "WEIRD" AL YANKOVIC.
TV-14
1:30 am
Office, The (SAP)
Business Ethics
When Holly leads a seminar on ethics, she realizes how unethical the Scranton branch really is. Jim tallies Dwight's 'time theft'.
TV-PG
2:00 am
Movie
Land of the Lost
Has-been scientist Dr. Rick Marshall, is a man with no weapons, few skills and questionable smarts who must survive an alternate universe full of marauding dinosaurs and fantastic creatures from beyond our world. Marshall has been sucked through a space-time vortex to a place of spectacular sights known as the Land of the Lost. Coming along with him for the adventure are crack-smart research assistant Holly and a redneck souvenirist named Will. Chased by a T. rex and stalked by painfully slow reptiles known as Sleestak, Marshall, Will and Holly must rely on their only ally-a primate called Chaka-to navigate out of the hybrid dimension. Escape from this routine expedition gone awry and they're her s. Get stuck, and they'll be permanent refugees in the Land of the Lost.
TV-14
4:00 am
Married With Children
'Til Death Do Us Part
When Peg complains about Al's lovemaking to the girls at the beauty parlor, he becomes the laughingstock of the town.
TV-PG
4:30 am
Married With Children
Tis Time to Smell the Roses
Peg spends all of Al's early retirement money and forces him to go back to work.
TV-PG
5:00 am
Married With Children
Old Insurance Dodge
When Al's Dodge is stolen, he learns it is only worth $100, and he decides to add a few priceless items to the list of things missing from his trunk.
TV-PG
5:30 am
My Name is Earl (SAP)
Got the Babysitter Pregnant
Earl tries to help his old babysitter, whom he got pregnant by poking holes in her condom, by whipping her deadbeat son into shape. However, Randy gets mad at Earl when he recognizes the similarities between the man and himself.
TV-14
 

Friday, August 29

6:00 am
Rules of Engagement
Big Picture, The
When his mother cuts off Russell's trust fund, he gets a taste of how life will be after moving in with Timmy. Meanwhile, Audrey helps Jeff impress his boss in order to get a raise.
TV-14
6:30 am
My Name is Earl (SAP)
Darnell Outed, Part 1
Joy steals Randy's audition for Erik Estrada's reality show "Estrada or Nada", but her public appearance has consequences for Darnell.
TV-14
7:00 am
Married With Children
Wedding Repercussions
When Jimmy, the Bundy's relative, learns that his new bride slept with someone the day of their wedding, his temper explodes and a guilty Bud runs for cover.
TV-PG
7:30 am
Married With Children
Proposition, The
Coco, a cosmetic millionairess and former girlfriend of Al's, makes a truly indecent proposal by offering Peggy $500,000 for one night of passion with Al.
TV-PG
8:00 am
Are We There Yet ?
Satchel Pagge Episode, The
Nick helps out Willie Mays, a homeless man with a beautiful voice, by getting him a job at KAWT, but Willie takes advantage of his new job.
TV-PG
8:30 am
Tyler Perry's Meet the Browns
Meet the Recession
Edna and Cora help Thelma deal with losing her job and home. Brown and the Colonel take part in a pyramid scheme.
TV-PG
9:00 am
Tyler Perry's House of Payne
Feet of Clay
Curtis gets a visit from an old friend who isn't quite what Curtis remembered. Meanwhile, Calvin tries to impress a nursery school recruiter to get his unborn child enrolled.
TV-PG
9:30 am
Full House
Joey and Stacey And...Oh Yeah, Jesse
Joey Gladstone's new girlfriend, Stacey, points out that Jesse is too bossy towards Joey. Jesse realizes that Joey's ad ideas are just as good as his. Comet chews up homework, a tie and a bear!
TV-G
10:00 am
Fresh Prince of Bel Air (SAP)
There's the Rub (Part 2)
Will and Phil get arrested at a massage parlor; Hilary and Carlton feed homeless people.
TV-G
10:30 am
Fresh Prince of Bel Air (SAP)
I, Oooh, Baby Baby
Will plays matchmaker for Hilary and a doctor; Hilary reveals shocking news.
TV-G
11:00 am
Fresh Prince of Bel Air (SAP)
Boxing Helena
Will's New Year's resolution leads him to the gym to get in shape.
TV-G
11:30 am
Fresh Prince of Bel Air (SAP)
Breaking Up Is Hard to Do (Part 1)
A modeling agent (Joan Van Ark) discovers Ashley; neglected Vivian mulls a separation.
TV-G
12:00 pm
Cleveland Show, The
How Cleveland Got His Groove Back
After being humiliated in a baseball challenge, Cleveland decides to vacation in Africa, but a layover in Hawaii proves to be the cure for his shattered confidence.
TV-14
12:30 pm
Cleveland Show, The
It's the Great Pancake, Junior Brown
When Cleveland concludes that Cleveland Jr. is too young for Halloween trick or treating, Junior reinvents his personality and becomes one of the "cool kids."
TV-14
1:00 pm
American Dad
American Stepdad
Stan invites his mother (guest voice Swoosie Kurtz) to come live with the family after Stan's stepfather dies, and tensions rise when Roger is forced to share his attic with her. But Roger and Stan's mom quickly fall in love and get married, and Stan is forced to deal with Roger as his new stepdad. Meanwhile, Steve and his friends discover a mysterious plane crash while on a bike ride and come across a long-lost script of a "Fast and Furious" movie that they are determined to get made.
TV-14
1:30 pm
American Dad
Why Can't We Be Friends
After concluding that Snot isn't cool enough to hang out with Steve, Stan concocts a scheme to separate the pair by sticking Snot in the Witness Protection Program; Roger gives Steve money to clean out his attic.
TV-14
2:00 pm
American Dad
Adventures in Hayleysitting
The Smith family's regular babysitter, Lindsay (guest voice Alison Brie), breaks her leg in a soccer match, so Stan and Francine are forced to leave Steve with Hayley, despite her track record of being extremely irresponsible. When Hayley teases Steve about being a goody-two-shoes, Steve is determined to prove her wrong and sneaks out of the house to go to a party with the cool kids.
TV-14
2:30 pm
American Dad
National Treasure 4: Baby Franny: She's Doing Well: The Hole Story
A Langley Falls talk show outs Francine as "Baby Franny," the toddler who was once rescued from a well by a heroic fireman (guest voice Will Forte). Then, on the anniversary of her rescue, she falls down the well again and makes a shocking discovery. Meanwhile, Stan and Roger have an entrepreneurial "eureka!" moment when they think of the world's next game-changing business opportunity - male stripper shoes.
TV-14
3:00 pm
King of Queens, The
Offensive Fowl
Carrie soon grows tired of Doug's forcing his new vegetarian lifestyle down her throat. Meanwhile, Carrie's boss wants to start discussing novels with her, and Spence takes on some humiliating new jobs.
TV-PG
3:30 pm
King of Queens, The
Mild Bunch
Doug's 20th high school reunion seems like a dud until an old friend comes up with a way to retaliate for past grievances with their old principal, while Danny and Spence try to hook up with old classmates. Carrie and Arthur try to have a movie night together.
TV-14
4:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With the Worst Best Man Ever, The
Joey loses Ross' treasured wedding ring. Phoebe has extreme mood variations from her pregnancy.
TV-PG
4:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One After Ross Says Rachel, The
Will Emily forgive Ross before their honeymoon Monica and Chandler agree to end their new relationship.
TV-PG
5:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With All the Kissing, The
Ross' new wife won't speak to him. Rachel appoints Monica her advisor in romance. Phoebe feels neglected.
TV-PG
5:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One-Hundredth, The
While Phoebe delivers triplets, Joey experiences his own pain. Monica plans a date with a male nurse to spite Chandler.
TV-PG
6:00 pm
Seinfeld
Parking Space, The
Jerry's car clanks after Elaine and George borrow it.
TV-PG
6:30 pm
Seinfeld
Chaperone, The
Kramer chaperons Jerry's date with a beauty contestant; guest Ian Abercrombie.
TV-PG
7:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Monopolar Expedition, The
The guys' prestigious offer to work over the summer at the North Pole; and Penny's resultant behavior; leaves Leonard unsure if he should go.
TV-PG
7:30 pm
Mom
Abstinence and Pudding
Christy goes on another date with Adam and finds that she really likes him, but wants to take it slow with their relationship. Bonnie plays devil's advocate and encourages her to sleep with him sooner rather than later, but Christy manages to resist, even when they get stuck in a romantic cabin setting during a hike in the woods.
TV-14
8:00 pm
Family Guy (SAP)
Something, Something, Something Dark Side Part 1 & 2
When the Griffins experience a power outage, Peter decides to tell his version of the "Star Wars" saga, "The Empire Strikes Back."
TV-14
9:00 pm
Family Guy (SAP)
And Then There Were Fewer Part 1 & 2
Some vacations are to die for.
TV-14
10:00 pm
Movie (DVS)
Change-Up, The
Growing up together, Mitch and Dave were inseparable best friends, but as the years have passed they've slowly drifted apart. While Dave is an overworked lawyer, husband and father of three, Mitch has remained a single, quasi-employed man-child who has never met a responsibility he liked. To Mitch, Dave has it all: beautiful wife Jamie, kids who adore him and a high-paying job at a prestigious law firm. To Dave, living Mitch's stress free life without obligation or consequence would be a dream come true. Following a drunken night out together, Mitch and Dave's worlds are turned upside down when they wake up in each other's bodies and proceed to freak out. Despite the freedom from their normal routines and habits, the guys soon discover that each other's lives are nowhere near as rosy as they once seemed. Further complicating matters are Dave's sexy legal associate, Sabrina, and Mitch's estranged father. With time not on their side, Mitch and Dave struggle to avoid completely destroying each other's lives before they can find a way to get their old ones back.
TV-14
12:00 am
Movie (DVS)
It's Complicated
Jane is the mother of three grown kids, owns a thriving Santa Barbara bakery/restaurant and has-after a decade of divorce-an amicable relationship with her ex-husband, attorney Jake. But when Jane and Jake find themselves out of town for their son's college graduation, things start to get complicated. An innocent meal together turns into the unimaginable-an affair. With Jake remarried to the much younger Agness, Jane is now, of all things, the other woman. Caught in the middle of their renewed romance is Adam, an architect hired to remodel Jane's kitchen. Healing from a divorce of his own, Adam starts to fall for Jane, but soon realizes he's become part of a love triangle. Should Jane and Jake move on with their lives, or is love truly lovelier the second time around? It's-complicated.
TV-14
2:30 am
Movie
Larry Crowne
Until he was downsized, affable, amiable Larry Crowne was a superstar team leader at the big-box company where he's worked since his time in the Navy. Underwater on his mortgage and unclear on what to do with his suddenly free days, Larry heads to his local college to start over. There he becomes part of a colorful community of outcasts all trying to find a better future for themselves. In his public-speaking class, Larry develops an unexpected crush on his teacher Mercedes Tainot, who has lost as much passion for teaching as she has for her husband. The simple guy who has every reason to think his life has stalled will come to learn an unexpected lesson: when you think everything worth having has passed you by, you just might discover your reason to live.
TV-14
4:30 am
Married With Children
Tisket, a Tasket, Can Peg Make a Basket, A?
TV-PG
5:00 am
Jeff Foxworthy Show, The
He Ain't Heavy, He's a Bully
The victim of a childhood prank returns for revenge against Wayne; Elliot seeks shelter from his wife's amorous advances.
TV-PG
5:30 am
My Name is Earl (SAP)
Darnell Outed, Part 2
In the aftermath of having his cover blown, Darnell, Joy, and the kids are sent to a relocation facility where they are assigned new identities: Hasidic Jews from Columbus, Ohio; and Earl is determined to get Joy another shot at "Estrada or Nada."
TV-14
 

Saturday, August 30

6:00 am
Married With Children
Hood 'n the Boyz
TV-PG
6:30 am
Married With Children
Proud to Be Your Bud?
TV-PG
7:00 am
Married With Children
Luck of the Bundys
TV-PG
7:30 am
Married With Children
Banking on Marcy
TV-PG
8:00 am
Tyler Perry's House of Payne
Date Night x 3
The Payne men are forced to take their wives on a nice date, but the plans go awry.
TV-PG
8:30 am
Tyler Perry's Meet the Browns
Meet the Old Fling
Sasha's Mom shows up with a man half her age. Meanwhile Cora runs a very boring detention. When Darnell takes over, it becomes a party and students are fighting to get detention.
TV-PG
9:00 am
Are We There Yet ?
Cyrano Episode, The
Nick helps out a coworker by ghostwriting him love letters for a woman on a dating website who turns out to be Gigi.
TV-PG
9:30 am
King of Queens, The
Manhanttan Project
Carrie's ecstatic when an affordable apartment opens in Manhattan, but Doug's reluctant to leave Queens. Arthur meets singer Ava St. Clair.
TV-PG
10:00 am
King of Queens, The
Single Spaced
Seeing friends who recently had a child makes Doug and Carrie consider adopting.
TV-PG
10:30 am
Movie (DVS)
Change-Up, The
Growing up together, Mitch and Dave were inseparable best friends, but as the years have passed they've slowly drifted apart. While Dave is an overworked lawyer, husband and father of three, Mitch has remained a single, quasi-employed man-child who has never met a responsibility he liked. To Mitch, Dave has it all: beautiful wife Jamie, kids who adore him and a high-paying job at a prestigious law firm. To Dave, living Mitch's stress free life without obligation or consequence would be a dream come true. Following a drunken night out together, Mitch and Dave's worlds are turned upside down when they wake up in each other's bodies and proceed to freak out. Despite the freedom from their normal routines and habits, the guys soon discover that each other's lives are nowhere near as rosy as they once seemed. Further complicating matters are Dave's sexy legal associate, Sabrina, and Mitch's estranged father. With time not on their side, Mitch and Dave struggle to avoid completely destroying each other's lives before they can find a way to get their old ones back.
TV-14
12:30 pm
Movie (DVS)
It's Complicated
Jane is the mother of three grown kids, owns a thriving Santa Barbara bakery/restaurant and has-after a decade of divorce-an amicable relationship with her ex-husband, attorney Jake. But when Jane and Jake find themselves out of town for their son's college graduation, things start to get complicated. An innocent meal together turns into the unimaginable-an affair. With Jake remarried to the much younger Agness, Jane is now, of all things, the other woman. Caught in the middle of their renewed romance is Adam, an architect hired to remodel Jane's kitchen. Healing from a divorce of his own, Adam starts to fall for Jane, but soon realizes he's become part of a love triangle. Should Jane and Jake move on with their lives, or is love truly lovelier the second time around? It's-complicated.
TV-14
3:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where Phoebe Hates PBS, The
Joey challenges Phoebe to perform a completely selfless act. Monica gets upset when Chandler gloats about sex. Ross might finally reconcile with Emily -- but he must make a tough decision.
TV-PG
3:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With the Kips, The
Ross tells Rachel that he cannot be around her once Emily comes to New York. Chandler and Monica try to have a romantic weekend.
TV-14
4:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With the Yeti, The
Will Ross obey Emily and move away from his friends Monica and Rachel meet a monster.
TV-PG
4:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where Ross Moves In, The
Joey and Chandler regret letting Ross move in with them. Rachel schemes to get her new neighbor to ask her on a date.
TV-PG
5:00 pm
King of Queens, The
China Syndrome (1)
Doug and Carrie's marital tension continues, as they ponder whether they have a future together. Arthur and Ava's wedding day turns problematic.
TV-PG
5:30 pm
King of Queens, The
China Syndrome (2)
At Arthur's wedding reception, Doug and Carrie's marital tension continues, and they ponder whether they have a future together.
TV-PG
6:00 pm
Seinfeld
Big Salad, The
Kramer helps an athlete wanted for a brutal crime flee police; guest Michelle Forbes.
TV-PG
6:30 pm
Seinfeld
Pledge Drive, The
Jerry cashes old birthday checks from his grandmother.
TV-PG
7:00 pm
Seinfeld
Chinese Woman, The
George's crossed phone lines acquaint the gang with a woman who isn't what she seems.
TV-PG
7:30 pm
Seinfeld
Couch, The
Elaine dates the guy who delivered Jerry's new couch.
TV-PG
8:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Electric Can Opener Fluctuation, The
Discovering that Leonard, Raj, and Howard fudged the results of his Arctic research expedition, a disgraced Sheldon heads home to Texas.
TV-PG
8:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Jiminy Conjecture, The
Sheldon and Howard wager comic books over a cricket's species. Meanwhile, a less-than-perfect romantic night agonizes Leonard and Penny.
TV-PG
9:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Gothowitz Deviation, The
Howard takes Raj along to check out the Goth dating scene. Sheldon uses chocolate as part of a behavior modification experiment on Penny.
TV-PG
9:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Pirate Solution, The
Facing a return to India, Raj needs a job desperately enough to consider working for Sheldon. Meanwhile, Howard becomes a third wheel to Leonard and Penny.
TV-PG
10:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Creepy Candy Coating Corollary, The
Sheldon looks forward to squaring off against the the one actor from the Star Trek universe he holds enmity towards; Wil Wheaton; in a fantasy collectable card game tournament. Wolowitz cashes in on an old pact with Leonard to get Penny to set him up with a friend of hers.
TV-PG
10:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Cornhusker Vortex, The
Leonard, hoping to fit in with Penny's football-loving friends, gets tutored in the sport by Sheldon. Raj is infuriated when Wolowitz's skirt-chasing leads to the loss of his prized patang.
TV-PG
11:00 pm
Sullivan & Son
Sullivan's Travels
When Steve laments that he never gets time off from the bar, Jack shows him what life would have been like if he had checked out at crucial points in the gang's life, and it's not pretty.
TV-14
11:30 pm
Movie
Catch Me If You Can
Based on a true story, Frank W. Abagnale was employed as a doctor, a lawyer, and as a co-pilot for a major airline company-all before reaching his 21st birthday. A successful con artist and master of deception, Frank is also a brilliant forger, whose skill at check fraud has netted him millions of dollars in stolen funds--much to the chagrin of the authorities. FBI Agent Carl Hanratty has made it his prime mission to capture him and bring him to justice, however Frank is always one step ahead of Carl, baiting him to continue the chase.
TV-14
2:30 am
Movie
Terminal, The
Viktor Navorski is a visitor to New York from Eastern Europe. His homeland erupts in a fiery coup, while he is in the air en route to America. Stranded at Kennedy Airport with a passport from nowhere, he is unauthorized to actually enter the United States and must improvise his days and nights in the terminal''s international transit lounge, until the war at home is over. As the weeks and months stretch on, Viktor finds the compressed universe of the terminal to be a richly complex world of absurdity, generosity, ambition, amusement, status, serendipity--and even romance with a beautiful flight attendant named Amelia. But he has long worn out his welcome with airport official Frank Dixon, who considers Viktor a bureaucratic glitch--a problem he cannot control but wants desperately to erase.
TV-PG
5:15 am
TBS Network Preview
Episode 1
A backstage peek at TBS's original programs.
5:30 am
Married With Children
No Chicken, No Check
TV-PG
 

Sunday, August 31

6:00 am
Married With Children
Take My Wife, Please
TV-PG
6:30 am
Married With Children
Scared Single
TV-PG
7:00 am
Married With Children
NO MA'AM
TV-PG
7:30 am
Sullivan & Son
Sullivan's Travels
When Steve laments that he never gets time off from the bar, Jack shows him what life would have been like if he had checked out at crucial points in the gang's life, and it's not pretty.
TV-14
8:00 am
Friends (SAP)
One With Ross' Sandwich, The
Joey becomes exasperated from hiding Chandler and Monica's secret. Ross gets in trouble when he expresses his rage.
TV-14
8:30 am
Friends (SAP)
One With Chandler's Work Laugh, The
Chandler's behavior toward his boss annoys Monica. Ross' latest romance astounds everyone.
TV-PG
9:00 am
Movie
Cop Out
Two longtime NYPD partners on the trail of a stolen, rare, mint-condition baseball card find themselves up against a merciless, memorabilia-obsessed gangster. But before they can recover the prized `52 Pafko, they must first rescue a Mexican beauty who holds the key to millions of dollars in off-shore bank accounts-and who has already witnessed one high-profile murder because of them. Veteran detective Jimmy Monr needs to cash in on his perfect Pafko in order to pay for his daughter''s upcoming wedding, but in the tradition of everything that can go wrong--it''s pilfered before he has a chance to collect. Paul Hodges is Jimmy''s partner-against-crime, whose preoccupation with his wife''s alleged infidelity makes it hard for him to keep his eye on the ball, or his mind on the crime. Already in trouble and with nothing left to lose, Jimmy and Paul will have to break all the rules-including enlisting the aid of stoner thief Dave, who''s working Paul''s last nerve as Paul and Jimmy try to work the case.
TV-14
11:00 am
Movie
Catch Me If You Can
Based on a true story, Frank W. Abagnale was employed as a doctor, a lawyer, and as a co-pilot for a major airline company-all before reaching his 21st birthday. A successful con artist and master of deception, Frank is also a brilliant forger, whose skill at check fraud has netted him millions of dollars in stolen funds--much to the chagrin of the authorities. FBI Agent Carl Hanratty has made it his prime mission to capture him and bring him to justice, however Frank is always one step ahead of Carl, baiting him to continue the chase.
TV-14
2:00 pm
MLB on tbs (CC)
Detroit Tigers @ Chicago White Sox
5:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With Joey's Bag, The
Phoebe meets another long-lost relative. Joey wears a shoulder bag. Series star LISA KUDROW plays a dual role.
TV-PG
5:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where Everybody Finds Out, The
Chandler and Monica's relationship becomes less of a secret. Ross must prove to his boss that he's sane in order to return to work.
TV-14
6:00 pm
Movie (DVS)
Tower Heist
Queens native Josh Kovaks has managed one of the most luxurious and well-secured residences in New York City for more than a decade. Under his watchful eye, nothing goes undetected. In the swankiest unit atop Josh's building, Wall Street titan Arthur Shaw is under house arrest after being caught stealing two billion from his investors. The hardest hit among those he defrauded? The tower staffers whose pensions he was entrusted to manage. With only days before Arthur gets away with the perfect crime, Josh's crew turns to petty crook Slide to plan the nearly impossible...to steal what they are sure is hidden in Arthur's guarded condo. Though amateurs, these rookie thieves know the building better than anyone. Turns out they've been casing the place for years, they just didn't know it.
TV-14
8:00 pm
Movie (DVS)
Rush Hour 3
In the heart of Paris lies a deadly secret. Half a world away in Los Angeles, Ambassador Han is about to disclose it. In his possession is explosive new evidence about the inner workings of the Triads--the most powerful and notorious crime syndicate in the world. The Ambassador has discovered the identity of Shy Shen, the very crux of the wide-ranging crime ring, and he's about to reveal it to the World Criminal Court--until he is silenced by an assassin's bullet. The Triads will go to any lengths to make sure their secrets stay buried, and there's only one hope for stopping them. LAPD Detective Carter and Chinese Inspector Lee are back--back where they don't belong. The unlikely duo is headed to the City of Lights to stop a global criminal conspiracy and save the life of an old friend, Ambassador Han's now-grown daughter, Soo Yung. They don't know the city, the language or even exactly what they're looking for, but their race will take them across the city, from the depths of the Paris underground to the breathtaking heights of the Eiffel Tower, as they fight to outrun the world's most deadly criminals and save the day.
TV-14
10:00 pm
Movie (DVS)
Tower Heist
Queens native Josh Kovaks has managed one of the most luxurious and well-secured residences in New York City for more than a decade. Under his watchful eye, nothing goes undetected. In the swankiest unit atop Josh's building, Wall Street titan Arthur Shaw is under house arrest after being caught stealing two billion from his investors. The hardest hit among those he defrauded? The tower staffers whose pensions he was entrusted to manage. With only days before Arthur gets away with the perfect crime, Josh's crew turns to petty crook Slide to plan the nearly impossible...to steal what they are sure is hidden in Arthur's guarded condo. Though amateurs, these rookie thieves know the building better than anyone. Turns out they've been casing the place for years, they just didn't know it.
TV-14
12:00 am
Movie
Cop Out
Two longtime NYPD partners on the trail of a stolen, rare, mint-condition baseball card find themselves up against a merciless, memorabilia-obsessed gangster. But before they can recover the prized `52 Pafko, they must first rescue a Mexican beauty who holds the key to millions of dollars in off-shore bank accounts-and who has already witnessed one high-profile murder because of them. Veteran detective Jimmy Monr needs to cash in on his perfect Pafko in order to pay for his daughter''s upcoming wedding, but in the tradition of everything that can go wrong--it''s pilfered before he has a chance to collect. Paul Hodges is Jimmy''s partner-against-crime, whose preoccupation with his wife''s alleged infidelity makes it hard for him to keep his eye on the ball, or his mind on the crime. Already in trouble and with nothing left to lose, Jimmy and Paul will have to break all the rules-including enlisting the aid of stoner thief Dave, who''s working Paul''s last nerve as Paul and Jimmy try to work the case.
TV-14
2:00 am
Movie (DVS)
Paul Blart: Mall Cop
A single, suburban dad tries to make ends meet as a security officer at a New Jersey mall. It''s a job he takes very seriously, though no one else does. When Santa''s helpers at the mall stage a coup, shutting down the megaplex and taking hostages (Paul''s daughter and sweetheart among them), Jersey''s most formidable mall cop will have to become a real cop to save the day.
TV-PG
4:00 am
Married With Children
Dances with Weezy
TV-PG
4:30 am
Married With Children
Change for a Buck
TV-PG
5:00 am
Married With Children
Little off the Top, A
TV-PG
5:30 am
Married With Children
Worst Noel, The
TV-PG
 

Monday, September 1

6:00 am
Rules of Engagement
Fun Run
After Jeff tells his altruistic co-workers that requests for charity donations are getting out of hand, Audrey enters into a 10K charity event and plans on having Jeff's staff contribute money toward the cause. Meanwhile, Russell is dating a woman who is giving him not-so-subtle hints that she's really not into him.
TV-14
6:30 am
My Name is Earl (SAP)
Randy's List Item
When Randy loses his winning lottery ticket, he assumes the event to be a message from Karma, so he starts a list of his own. Meanwhile, Joy is not happy with her cover identity of the witness protection program.
TV-14
7:00 am
Married With Children
Honey, I Blew Up Myself
TV-PG
7:30 am
Married With Children
Sofa So Good
TV-PG
8:00 am
Are We There Yet ?
Hyphenated Name Episode, The
Nick and Suzanne have been married for about six months, and the new blended family is beginning to experience growing pains. Nick thinks the kids don't love him, and Suzanne is coming to bed looking less than sexy. Much to Nick's displeasure, Suzanne has decided to hyphenate her name.
TV-PG
8:30 am
Tyler Perry's Meet the Browns
Meet the Unwelcome Back
When Reggie returns unannounced, he's surprised to find Cora isn't into him as she once was. Meanwhile Sasha's ex comes to the hospital as a patient.
TV-PG
9:00 am
Tyler Perry's House of Payne
Payneful Night Out, A
Curtis and Ella decide to intervene when they see Janine and Roland at dinner until C.J. shows up with a woman. Meanwhile, Miranda goes on a grooming strike.
TV-PG
9:30 am
Full House
No More Mr. Dumb Guy
Jesse enlists Joey's help to appear more intellectual at a cultural event attended by his girlfriend, Rebecca Donaldson.
TV-G
10:00 am
Labor Day Movie Marathon
Ghost Rider
Long ago, superstar motorcycle stunt rider Johnny Blaze made a deal with the devil to protect the ones he loved most: his father and his childhood sweetheart, Roxanne. Now, the Devil has come for his due. By day, Johnny is a die-hard stunt rider--but at night in the presence of evil, he becomes the Ghost Rider, a bounty hunter of rogue demons. Forced to do the Devil's bidding, Johnny is determined to confront his fate and use his curse and powers to defend the innocent.
TV-14
12:15 pm
Labor Day Movie Marathon (DVS)
Zombieland
Two men have found a way to survive a world overrun by zombies. Columbus is a big wuss - but when you're afraid of being eaten by zombies, fear can keep you alive. Tallahassee is an AK-totin', zombie-slayin' badass whose single determination is to get the last Twinkie on earth. As they join forces with Wichita and Little Rock, who have also found unique ways to survive the zombie mayhem, they will have to determine which is worse: relying on each other or succumbing to the zombies.
TV-14
2:15 pm
Labor Day Movie Marathon (DVS)
Men in Black II
Kay and Jay reunite to provide our best, last and only line of defense against a sinister seductress who levels the toughest challenge yet to the MIBs untarnished mission statement: protecting the earth from the scum of the universe. It's been four years since the alien-seeking agents averted an intergalactic disaster of epic proportions. Kay has since returned to the comforts of civilian life while Jay continues to work for the Men In Black, the highly funded yet unofficial government agency that regulates all things alien on earth. While investigating a seemingly routine crime, Jay uncovers a diabolical plot masterminded by Serleena, an evil Kylothian monster who disguises herself as a sexy lingerie model. When Serleena takes the entire MIB building hostage, there is only one person left Jay can turn to-his former MIB partner who is now a drone in another large government office, the U.S. postal service, and prefers simple pleasures like his wife's cookies over standoffs with mammoth alien insects. It's a race against the clock as Jay must convince Kay-who not only has absolutely no memory of his time spent with the Men In Black, but is also the only living person left with the expertise to save the galaxy-to reunite with the MIB before the earth submits to ultimate destruction.
TV-PG
4:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With the Girl Who Hits Joey, The
Chandler thinks Monica wants more from their relationship. Ross fails to impress his new neighbors.
TV-PG
4:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With the Cop, The
Joey wonders if he is in love with Monica. Phoebe impersonates a police officer.
TV-PG
5:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With Rachel's Inadvertent Kiss, The
Rachel interviews for a great job--but she may get it for the wrong reason. Monica competes to have a better relationship than Phoebe's.
TV-14
5:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where Rachel Smokes, The
Rachel submits to peer pressure at work. Joey and Ross' son audition for the same commercial -- but only one can get the part.
TV-PG
6:00 pm
Seinfeld
Gymnast, The
Elaine must substitute for her boss in a merger deal; a girlfriend's mom sees George eating out of the trash; guest Maurice Godin.
TV-PG
6:30 pm
Seinfeld
Mom & Pop Store, The
George buys a convertible the salesman claims once belonged to Jon Voight.
TV-PG
7:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Guitarist Amplification, The
Leonard and Penny's first big fight sees Sheldon playing mediator due to childhood trauma that's left him with an inability to be around loud verbal conflicts.
TV-PG
7:30 pm
Mom
Estrogen and a Hearty Breakfast
Christy learns that Luke hasn't told his parents about Violet's pregnancy so she invites them over so they can talk about it. Meanwhile, Bonnie is thrown for a loop when she finds out from her doctor that she is menopausal. She drops by Christy's house and proceeds to have a meltdown in front of Luke's parents leaving them wondering what kind of family Luke is getting involved with.
TV-14
8:00 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Excellence in Broadcasting
Lois accuses conservative radio talk show host Rush Limbaugh of brainwashing Brian into thinking he supports Republican values.
TV-14
8:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Welcome Back, Carter
Peter extorts Carter after finding out he's having an affair with another woman.
TV-14
9:00 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Halloween on Spooner Street
On Halloween, Stewie plots revenge after his candy is taken away by bullies; Meg determines to use a Halloween disguise as a means of hooking up with a boy; Peter and Joe target Quagmire for Halloween pranks.
TV-14
9:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Baby, You Knock Me Out
Peter coaxes Lois into entering an amateur boxing match, where Lois easily defeats her opponent-launching her career as a professional pugilist.
TV-14
10:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Adhesive Duck Deficiency, The
With the rest of the gang off on a desert camping trip to view the Leonid meteor shower, Sheldon must play hero after Penny slips in the tub and dislocates her shoulder.
TV-PG
10:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Vengeance Formulation, The
Barry Kripke pranks Sheldon during his spot on NPR, leaving him with a taste for vengeance. Wolowitz, pressured by Bernadette to define their relationship, gets advice from a fantasy version of Katee Sackhoff.
TV-14
11:00 pm
Conan (CC)
Episode 4594
Guests: Michael Sheen, Joe Manganiello, Marsha Ambrosius
TV-14
12:00 am
Office, The (SAP)
Baby Shower
Dwight helps Michael prepare for the birth of Jan's baby. Michael vows to feign dislike for Holly to appease Jan. Pam and Jim have trouble communicating while she's at art school.
TV-PG
12:30 am
Conan (CC)
Episode 4594
Guests: Michael Sheen, Joe Manganiello, Marsha Ambrosius
TV-14
1:30 am
Office, The (SAP)
Crime Aid
Following a burglary at Dunder Mifflin on the night of his third date with Holly, Michael organizes an auction to replace what was stolen. Pam has a job at corporate to help with finances. Dwight seeks Phyllis' help to win Angela back.
TV-PG
2:00 am
Movie (DVS)
Men in Black II
Kay and Jay reunite to provide our best, last and only line of defense against a sinister seductress who levels the toughest challenge yet to the MIBs untarnished mission statement: protecting the earth from the scum of the universe. It's been four years since the alien-seeking agents averted an intergalactic disaster of epic proportions. Kay has since returned to the comforts of civilian life while Jay continues to work for the Men In Black, the highly funded yet unofficial government agency that regulates all things alien on earth. While investigating a seemingly routine crime, Jay uncovers a diabolical plot masterminded by Serleena, an evil Kylothian monster who disguises herself as a sexy lingerie model. When Serleena takes the entire MIB building hostage, there is only one person left Jay can turn to-his former MIB partner who is now a drone in another large government office, the U.S. postal service, and prefers simple pleasures like his wife's cookies over standoffs with mammoth alien insects. It's a race against the clock as Jay must convince Kay-who not only has absolutely no memory of his time spent with the Men In Black, but is also the only living person left with the expertise to save the galaxy-to reunite with the MIB before the earth submits to ultimate destruction.
TV-PG
3:45 am
TBS Network Preview
Episode 1
A backstage peek at TBS's original programs.
4:00 am
Married With Children
How Green was My Apple
TV-PG
4:30 am
Married With Children
Get Outta Dodge
TV-PG
5:00 am
Married With Children
Valentine's Day Massacre
TV-PG
5:30 am
My Name is Earl (SAP)
Friends with Benefits
Earl decides to visit Joy at the new Witness Protection location to return Mr. Turtle to Darnell and he stays around to help her make new friends. Meanwhile, Randy is making a new "friend" too while Earl is gone.
TV-14
 

Tuesday, September 2

6:00 am
Rules of Engagement
Refusing to Budget
Timmy convinces Russell he needs a budget when the utilities are turned off in his apartment. Meanwhile, Audrey has a mentee who wants to see her office and learn about publishing.
TV-14
6:30 am
My Name is Earl (SAP)
My Name Is Alias
Darnell's father Thomas comes looking for him in Camden only to raise Earl and Randy's suspicions, as it turns out that he is the reason for Darnell being in the Witness Protection Program.
TV-14
7:00 am
Married With Children
Field of Screams
TV-PG
7:30 am
Married With Children
D'Arcy Files, The
TV-PG
8:00 am
Are We There Yet ?
Soccer Episode, The
Kevin is a big soccer fan, but Nick doesn't understand the appeal. Suzanne is frustrated by Lindsey's lack of communication and creates a fake Facebook account to learn what is going on in her daughter's life.
TV-PG
8:30 am
Tyler Perry's Meet the Browns
Meet the Defendant
Cora takes the Colonel to court. Joaquin's birthday party is nearly ruined when Sasha, Will and Brianna interfere.
TV-PG
9:00 am
Tyler Perry's House of Payne
Payneful Assistance
Miranda gets cooking advice after she makes a horrible dinner for Ella's club. Meanwhile, Curtis gets his tonsils pulled and can't talk.
TV-PG
9:30 am
Full House
Misadventures in Babysitting
D.J. Tanner runs into problems while baby-sitting to earn money for her own phone. Jesse and Rebecca have a problem communicating.
TV-G
10:00 am
Cougar Town (SAP)
Pilot
TV-14
10:30 am
Fresh Prince of Bel Air (SAP)
Breaking Up Is Hard to Do (Part 2)
Will schemes to save Vivian and Phil's marriage; guest Jenifer Lewis.
TV-G
11:00 am
Fresh Prince of Bel Air (SAP)
I, Clownius
A perilous situation occurs when bodyguards Will and Carlton escort Phil to court.
TV-PG
11:30 am
Fresh Prince of Bel Air (SAP)
Butler's Son Did It, The
Geoffrey's estranged son arrives from London with a hidden agenda.
TV-G
12:00 pm
Cleveland Show, The
Little Man on Campus
After his star pitcher is forced to leave the high school's baseball team, Cleveland enlists Holt's help after he turns out to have an excellent pitching arm.
TV-14
12:30 pm
Cleveland Show, The
Fat and Wet
Donna asks Cleveland to keep an eye on Rallo, but the boy almost drowns in a swimming pool, leaving Cleveland vulnerable to Rallo's blackmail scheme; Cleveland Jr. and Kendra attempt to eliminate discrimination against heavy-set people.
TV-14
1:00 pm
American Dad
Finger Lenting Good
Francine asks her family to give up their vices for Lent or risk losing a finger.
TV-14
1:30 pm
American Dad
Adventures of Twill Ongenbone and His Boy Jabari, The
Francine tries to teach Roger the value of hard work after he fakes a masters degree and buys an Oscar. Steve interviews Stan for a personal history assignment at school.
TV-14
2:00 pm
American Dad
Blood Crieth Unto Heaven
In a tribute to and send-up of the Pulitzer Prize-winning play, "August: Osage County," a dark secret is revealed about the Smith family's past when Francine invites Stan's incarcerated dad, Jack, to Stan's birthday party. Also in this spoof, Roger plays Edna, a maid who nurses Bullock and Hayley's love child. But when Edna falls in love with Bullock, it could mean dire consequences for the kid.
TV-14
2:30 pm
American Dad
Max Jets
Roger (Seth MacFarlane) announces that "Max Jets," a character of Roger's who enjoys showering the Smith family with money, is soon getting out of prison. But a wrench is thrown in the system when Max falls in love with Gina (Michelle Monaghan), a gold-digging waitress who threatens the family's inheritance.
TV-14
3:00 pm
King of Queens, The
Pilot
In-laws (Jerry Stiller, Lisa Rieffel) displace Doug Heffernan (Kevin James) and his 70-inch TV from a basement lair; with Leah Remini.
TV-PG
3:30 pm
King of Queens, The
Head First
Carrie convinces Doug to spend more time with Arthur.
TV-PG
4:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where Ross Can't Flirt, The
Ross' flirting technique fails to impress a cute pizza-delivery woman. A surprise awaits Joey when he tells everyone about his big television appearance.
TV-PG
4:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With the Ride Along, The
The guys enjoy riding along with a police officer -- until a gunshot is heard. Rachel overhears a telephone message for Ross from his second ex-wife.
TV-PG
5:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With the Ball, The
Phoebe's boyfriend wants her to move in with him. Ross and Joey involve Chandler and Monica in an obsessive game.
TV-PG
5:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With Joey's Big Break, The
Joey's first major film role leads to an unexpected experience in Las Vegas. Phoebe can't remember why she hates Ross.
TV-PG
6:00 pm
Seinfeld
Soup, The
Jerry regrets accepting a designer suit from an obnoxious comedian (Stephen Hytner).
TV-PG
6:30 pm
Seinfeld
Secretary, The
A new secretary's efficiency arouses George; Jerry spots a dry cleaner wearing his clothes.
TV-PG
7:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Gorilla Experiment, The
Penny seeks Sheldon's help to better comprehend Leonard's physics work. Wolowitz sees green when Leonard invites Bernadette to watch an experiment.
TV-PG
7:30 pm
Mom
Big Sur and Strawberry Lube
Christy and Adam's courtship continues and they're still waiting to have sex, but Christy is struggling to deal with all her feelings. In the past, she used alcohol or sex to cope, but now she's eating voraciously. To make matters worse, Claudia comes to her and confides that she thinks Gabriel is having an affair. Claudia confronts Christy with something Gabriel told her. Christy's nervous at first but Claudia is actually coming to Christy because she heard she's sober and Claudia wants help with her own drinking issues.
TV-14
8:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Maternal Congruence, The
A Christmas visit from his mother (Christine Baranski) has Leonard discovering she's kept a lot of news from him that she shares with Sheldon and worrying if she'll approve of his romance with Penny.
TV-PG
8:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Psychic Vortex, The
Leonard is aghast to find out a secret of Penny's: she believes in psychics. Meanwhile, Sheldon tries to assist Koothrappali in picking up a girl at a university party.
TV-PG
9:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Bozeman Reaction, The
A robbery of their apartment sees Leonard and Sheldon call on their friends to devise a security system.
TV-PG
9:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Einstein Approximation, The
Stuck on the solution to a physics problem, Sheldon seeks a number of alternative approaches to change his thinking and free the mental block; including working with Penny at The Cheesecake Factory.
TV-PG
10:00 pm
Sullivan & Son
Kiss Is Never Just a Kiss, A
Steve goes all out to impress an exciting new woman, with the help of Melanie. Meanwhile, Hank's doctor prescribes him testosterone, but a mishap leads to a "juiced up" Hank.
TV-14
10:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Large Hadron Collision, The
Leonard faces a dilemma in choosing between Sheldon or Penny to accompany him to Switzerland to see CERN's Large Hadron Collider on Valentine's Day.
TV-PG
11:00 pm
Conan (CC)
Episode 4613
TV-14
12:00 am
Sullivan & Son
Kiss Is Never Just a Kiss, A
Steve goes all out to impress an exciting new woman, with the help of Melanie. Meanwhile, Hank's doctor prescribes him testosterone, but a mishap leads to a "juiced up" Hank.
TV-14
12:30 am
Conan (CC)
Episode 4613
TV-14
1:30 am
Office, The (SAP)
Employee Transfer
Michael helps Holly move following her transfer to Nashua, NH. Meanwhile, Pam discovers people at corporate are less enthused about Halloween than she, and Dwight agitates Andrew by applying to Cornell.
TV-PG
2:00 am
Movie
Not Another Teen Movie
What a year at John Hughes High! The Wasp football team goes all the way -- into the cellar, that is, when quarterback Jake Wyler makes an errant pass and Reggie Ray racks up his umpteenth concussion. Things perk up at a dazzling year-end prom when conjoined twins Kara and Sally Fratelli are crowned prom queens. Other highlights from this year include a nasty toilet explosion that drops in the middle of Mr. Keller's English class, Jake fails to seduce Janey with a human whipped cream sundae and Janey is apprehended by police after Jake's moving serenade of Aerosmith's "Janey's Got a Gun". Many new faces deck the halls this year, including Sadie, a 90 year-old undercover reporter and foreign exchange student Areola, who becomes the object of lust for all American nerds. Malik continues to be the "token black guy," Catherine is still in love with her brother, Bruce still thinks he's Asian, and Ox is still a virgin...
TV-14
3:45 am
TBS Network Preview
Episode 1
A backstage peek at TBS's original programs.
4:00 am
Married With Children
Legend of Ironhead Haynes, The
TV-PG
4:30 am
Married With Children
Nooner or Nothing
TV-PG
5:00 am
Married With Children
Kelly Knows Something
TV-PG
5:30 am
My Name is Earl (SAP)
Chaz Dalton's Space Academy
Earl works on a list item that has to do with Chaz Dalton, his childhood hero. However, Chaz turns out to be somebody else. Meanwhile, Darnell tries to help Joy make friends using the internet and a site called "Buddybook".
TV-14
 

Wednesday, September 3

6:00 am
Rules of Engagement
Little Bummer Boy
When Russell decides to borrow a holiday concept of gift-giving from Adam, both Adam and his co-workers are in for surprises. Meanwhile, Audrey wants to make people laugh at Jeff's holiday party.
TV-14
6:30 am
My Name is Earl (SAP)
Witch Lady
Earl works on a list item that deals with a crazy witch lady, but his plan backfires.
TV-14
7:00 am
Married With Children
Assault and Batteries
TV-PG
7:30 am
Married With Children
Ride Scare
TV-PG
8:00 am
Are We There Yet ?
Michele Obama Sweater Episode, The
Using her mother's credit card, Lindsey gets help from Nick in ordering a Michelle Obama sweater online. Kevin pretends to be sick to pull off a scam with Martin to get a signed A-Rod jersey.
TV-PG
8:30 am
Tyler Perry's Meet the Browns
Meet the Attraction
Brianna becomes jealous when Jamal finds Simone's life more interesting than hers for his short film. Cora and Brown have to take a CPR class taught by Reggie.
TV-PG
9:00 am
Tyler Perry's House of Payne
Mother's Payne, A
Ella's mother comes to visit. Meanwhile, Janine texts C.J. a sexy picture of herself.
TV-PG
9:30 am
Full House
Lust in the Dust
Danny's new girlfriend is tidy in some ways, a slob in others. Jesse thinks Michelle has hidden his keys.
TV-G
10:00 am
Cougar Town (SAP)
Into the Great Wide Open
TV-PG
10:30 am
Fresh Prince of Bel Air (SAP)
I, Bowl Buster
Carlton, accepted to Princeton, takes up bowling; Hilary leads a Blue Bird troop.
TV-G
11:00 am
Fresh Prince of Bel Air (SAP)
Hare Today
A minister (Richard Roundtree) shows romantic interest in Vivian.
TV-G
11:30 am
Fresh Prince of Bel Air (SAP)
I, Stank Horse
A favored horse is in danger when Will takes his cousins to the racetrack.
TV-G
12:00 pm
Cleveland Show, The
Another Bad Thanksgiving
Donna's sister abandons her two children during the Thanksgiving holiday so she and Holt can run off to Las Vegas.
TV-14
12:30 pm
Cleveland Show, The
Murray Christmas
During the Christmas holiday, Cleveland inadvertently gives his father a heart attack; Rallo makes friends with a Jewish man who lives at a retirement home.
TV-14
1:00 pm
American Dad
Naked to the Limit, One More Time
Roger pretends to be Jeff's imaginary friend, so he can freely roam naked around the house with no disguise. But when big-mouth Jeff figures out that Roger is an alien, Stan issues an ultimatum: either Roger or Jeff must be killed immediately. Meanwhile, Steve becomes insecure about the shape of his rear end.
TV-14
1:30 pm
American Dad
For Black Eyes Only
In Part 2 of "The Tearjerker Saga," a "James Bond" parody, Stan and his wife, Sexpun Tocome's honeymoon is brutally interrupted when Black Villain (guest voice Kevin Michael Richardson) fatally shoots Sexpun. Determined to get his revenge, Stan teams up with former nemesis The Tearjerker to track down Black Villain and put a stop to his evil plan to melt the arctic glaciers.
TV-14
2:00 pm
American Dad
Spelling Bee My Baby
Francine pressures Steve to win the National Spelling Bee so he can get into a top college. Stan and Roger try to slam Hayley through the five stages of grief so she will get over Jeff faster.
TV-14
2:30 pm
American Dad
Missing Kink, The
Francine discovers she has a spanking fetish; Hayley goes out on a date with Snot.
TV-14
3:00 pm
King of Queens, The
Fat City
Doug worries that Carrie will grow to look like her mother.
TV-PG
3:30 pm
King of Queens, The
Richie's Song
Doug learns Richie's wife is cheating on him.
TV-PG
4:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One in Vegas (Part 1), The
The gang travels to Las Vegas, Nevada, where more than one surprise awaits. After Ross misinterprets Rachel's actions, a war of public humiliation results.
TV-PG
4:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One in Vegas (Part 2), The
Monica and Chandler get lucky in Las Vegas, Nevada. Rachel makes Ross regret playing a prank on her. Joey schemes for fame and fortune.
TV-PG
5:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One After Vegas, The
Two of the friends leave Las Vegas married. Joey and Phoebe have a cross-country adventure.
TV-PG
5:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where Ross Hugs Rachel, The
Monica is bewildered by Rachel's reaction to a change in their living arrangement. Phoebe tries to make Ross confront his feelings for Rachel.
TV-PG
6:00 pm
Seinfeld
Switch, The
Kramer's mom (Sheree North) reveals her son's name to George; guest Terry Sweeney.
TV-PG
6:30 pm
Seinfeld
Label Maker, The
Jerry and Elaine are suspicious of a friend's gifts; guest Jessica Tuck.
TV-PG
7:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Excelsior Acquisition, The
An appearance in traffic court comes at the worst possible time for Sheldon; the same day Stan Lee is appearing at the comic book store.
TV-PG
7:30 pm
Mom
Zombies and Cobb Salad
Bonnie falls off the wagon and starts drinking again, prompting Christy to stage an intervention with Regina and Marjorie from their AA group. Bonnie soon realizes that she can't take the pain of disappointing her daughter by drinking anymore, so she vows to do everything she can to keep sober from this point forward.
TV-14
8:00 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
Brian Writes a Best Seller
After Brian writes a bestselling self-help book, he hires Stewie to be his publicist and begins treating him poorly during a book promotion.
TV-14
8:30 pm
Family Guy (DVS)
New Kidney in Town
Peter ruins his kidneys after concocting his own energy drink, prompting Brian to volunteer donating his organs; as President Obama plans on visiting the high school, Chris plagiarizes Meg's thoughts for an essay on hope.
TV-14
9:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Precious Fragmentation, The
The guys go to a garage sale and find a ring from the "Lord of the Rings" films, and the rare find threatens their friendship.
TV-PG
9:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Pants Alternative, The
Sheldon's fear of speaking in front of large groups threatens his ability to accept an award, so the gang tries to help him get ready for the big night.
TV-PG
10:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Wheaton Recurrence, The
Sheldon gets to square off on the bowling alley against nemesis Wil Wheaton. Meanwhile, Leonard's miffed when Penny doesn't respond the way he hoped after saying, "I love you."
TV-PG
10:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Spaghetti Catalysis, The
Subsequent to Leonard and Penny's break-up, Sheldon tries to hide from Leonard and the gang that he had a friendly spaghetti dinner at Penny's.
TV-14
11:00 pm
Conan (CC)
Episode 4614
TV-14
12:00 am
Office, The (SAP)
Customer Survey
Dwight and Jim are shocked when they get the results of the annual customer survey report. Pam and Jim spend every minute together on their Bluetooth phones, and Angela and Andy pick an unusual location for their wedding.
TV-PG
12:30 am
Conan (CC)
Episode 4614
TV-14
1:30 am
Office, The (SAP)
Business Trip
Michael is sent on a business trip to Canada and brings Oscar and Andy along with him. Meanwhile, Jim counts down the days until Pam is done with art school.
TV-PG
2:00 am
Movie
I Love You, Man
Peter Klaven is a successful real estate agent who, upon getting engaged to the woman of his dreams, Zooey, discovers, to his dismay and chagrin, that he has no male friend close enough to serve as his Best Man. Peter immediately sets out to rectify the situation, embarking on a series of bizarre and awkward "man-dates," before meeting Sydney Fife, a charming, opinionated man with whom he instantly bonds. But the closer the two men get, the more Peter's relationship with Zooey suffers, ultimately forcing him to choose between his fiancée and his new found "bro," in a story that comically explores what it truly means to be a "friend."
TV-14
4:00 am
Married With Children
Al Goes Deep
TV-PG
4:30 am
Married With Children
Shoeway to Heaven
TV-PG
5:00 am
Married With Children
Driving Mr. Boondy
TV-PG
5:30 am
My Name is Earl (SAP)
Pinky
Earl helps Randy find his first love, Pinky.
TV-14
 

Thursday, September 4

6:00 am
Rules of Engagement
Home Stretch, The
When Jeff discovers that a guy is giving Audrey home Pilates classes, he wants to make a change. Meanwhile, Adam tells Jennifer specifics about his football past.
TV-14
6:30 am
My Name is Earl (SAP)
Bullies
Earl tries to help a man he bullied in grade school, but hides his true identity because the man has become a scary bodybuilder.
TV-14
7:00 am
Married With Children
Kelly Breaks Out
TV-PG
7:30 am
Married With Children
Naughty but Niece
TV-PG
8:00 am
Are We There Yet ?
Day Off Episode, The
Nick decides the kids need to bond with his mother and asks that they spend time together. Suzanne has a day off, but she doesn't know what to do.
TV-PG
8:30 am
Tyler Perry's Meet the Browns
Meet the New Reggie
Brown and Derek help Reggie improve himself to win Cora. Meanwhile Renee's ex comes in for a check up. He's HIV positive.
TV-PG
9:00 am
Tyler Perry's House of Payne
Up from the Ashes
Calvin finds out that Tracie checked Calvin Jr. out of the hospital. Calvin and Miranda try to find a place to stay.
TV-PG
9:30 am
Full House
Bye Bye Birdie
Michelle's first day of preschool goes badly when she accidentally releases the class' pet bird. Stephanie becomes glued to D.J.'s diary.
TV-G
10:00 am
Cougar Town (SAP)
Don't Do Me Like That
TV-PG
10:30 am
Cougar Town (SAP)
I Won't Back Down
TV-PG
11:00 am
Fresh Prince of Bel Air (SAP)
I Whoops, There It Is
Will Smith and the cast present outtakes from the past six seasons; guest Dick Clark.
TV-G
11:30 am
Fresh Prince of Bel Air (SAP)
I, Stank Hole in One
Carlton gets jealous when Will plays golf with Phil; guest Regis Philbin.
TV-G
12:00 pm
Cleveland Show, The
Beer Walk
Cleveland invites his friend from Quahog to participate in a charity beer walk; Rallo dresses up like characters from famous horror movies.
TV-14
12:30 pm
Cleveland Show, The
Ain't Nothin' But Mutton Bustin'
Cleveland and Rallo bond at a sheep-riding exhibit at a petting zoo, but Rallo is crushed when he finds out what happens to the animals when they can no longer be ridden.
TV-14
1:00 pm
American Dad
Boring Identity, The
When Stan loses his memory, Francine attempts to transform him into the perfect husband; Roger joins Steve's newspaper route.
TV-14
1:30 pm
American Dad
Full Cognitive Redaction of Avery Bullock by the Coward Stan Smith, The
Stan learns that the CIA wants to wipe out Bullock's memory after he exhibits signs of dementia; Roger hires Stelio Kontos to deal with a student who's bullying Steve at school.
TV-14
2:00 pm
American Dad
Lost in Space
In order to return to Earth, the space-bound Jeff must convince an Emperor that he is in love with Hayley.
TV-14
2:30 pm
American Dad
Da Flippity Flop
Klaus swaps bodies with Stan after discovering that his original human body is on ice at the CIA; after converting the attic into a gym, Roger attempts to convince Stan to sign up for a lifetime membership.
TV-14
3:00 pm
King of Queens, The
Cello, Goodbye
Doug fears Carrie's new job is coming between them.
TV-PG
3:30 pm
King of Queens, The
Paternal Affairs
Arthur dates Doug's favorite, recently divorced aunt.
TV-PG
4:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With Ross' Denial, The
Despite Phoebe's admonitions, Ross makes a drastic decision about Rachel. Chandler and Monica bicker over their living arrangements.
TV-PG
4:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One Where Joey Loses His Insurance, The
Injured Joey must get an acting part in order to qualify for health insurance. Rachel finally learns the truth about her marriage to Ross.
TV-PG
5:00 pm
Friends (SAP)
One With Joey's Porsche, The
Rachel forces Ross to terminate their marriage. Phoebe's first triplet baby-sitting experience proves stressful. Joey pretends to own a sports car.
TV-PG
5:30 pm
Friends (SAP)
One on the Last Night, The
The guys and the women prepare for big changes in their living arrangements.
TV-PG
6:00 pm
Seinfeld
Race, The
An ex-classmate questions Jerry's status as the fastest runner in high school; guest Vicki Lewis.
TV-PG
6:30 pm
Seinfeld
Scofflaw, The
A friend (Jon Lovitz) fakes illness to get Jerry's sympathy; Kramer obstructs justice.
TV-PG
7:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Plimpton Stimulation, The
Sheldon hosts a visiting female physicist (Judy Greer), but her intelligence seems matched by her libido.
TV-14
7:30 pm
Mom
Belgian Waffles and Bathroom Privileges
Bonnie moves in with Christy and takes over the house, becoming supermom. In fact, Bonnie's doing such a phenomenal job that it drives Christy crazy. Baxter returns after breaking up with his girlfriend and asks to live in the driveway. Thinking that this might restore some of the chaos in her life, Christy allows him to stay and winds up sleeping with him.
TV-14
8:00 pm
Family Guy (SAP)
Road to the North Pole Part 1 & 2
Brian and Stewie take their adventures to the North Pole to seek out Santa Claus.
TV-14
9:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Staircase Implementation, The
A squabble over the thermostat setting leads to Leonard going over to Penny's and recounting for her the story of how he met and moved in with Sheldon.
TV-PG
9:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Lunar Excitation, The
Howard and Raj try to find the perfect match for Sheldon by setting him up on an Internet dating site. Seeing her moronic new boyfriend interact with the gang makes it abundantly clear to Penny that she can't go back to dating stereotypical dumb jocks after dating Leonard.
TV-14
10:00 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Robotic Manipulation, The
In the 4th season opener, Howard uses a robotic arm for his own pleasure; and Sheldon goes on a date with Amy Farrah Fowler---his first date ever---and Penny finds herself accompanying them. (Mayim Bialik guest stars)
TV-14
10:30 pm
Big Bang Theory, The (DVS)
Cruciferous Vegetable Amplification, The
Sheldon calculates that he'll be dead before technology exists to download his consciousness into a robot, so he goes on a binge of healthy living and ultra-safety.
TV-PG
11:00 pm
Conan (CC)
Episode 4615
TV-14
12:00 am
Office, The (SAP)
Frame Toby
Michael tries to frame Toby after he discovers he's back working in the office. Someone makes a big mess in the microwave at the office and won't clean it up. Jim buys his parents' house.
TV-PG
12:30 am
Conan (CC)
Episode 4615
TV-14
1:30 am
Office, The (SAP)
Surplus, The
With a $4,300 surplus to spend, the workers fight amongst themselves in order to get what they want. Andy and Angela go to Schrute Farms to work on wedding plans.
TV-PG
2:00 am
Movie
Bridget Jones: The Edge of Reason
Bridget Jones is blissful and besotted in the arms of gorgeous lawyer Mark Darcy. Mark is accomplished, supportive and tolerant of (nearly) all of Bridget's tiny jealousies--why wouldn't every woman in London, including Mark's new long-legged, drop-dead gorgeous, "I-always-say-the-right-thing-at-all-times" intern, want to lure him away from the plumpish, opinionated, sometimes inappropriate Bridget? With the entry of the leggy threat, Bridget's pink clouds begin to turn gray as her attacks of self-doubt sorely test her relationship with Darcy. And just when it seems that the waters couldn't get any more choppy, Bridget's former boss, womanizing heartthrob Daniel Cleaver, sails into view. Ms. Jones careens from embarrassing situation to romantic misunderstanding, still managing to muddle through in this continuation of the trials and tribulations of the working woman who has become the symbolic heroine of 'singletons' everywhere.
TV-14
4:00 am
Married With Children
Business Sucks (1)
TV-PG
4:30 am
Married With Children
Business Still Sucks (2)
TV-PG
5:00 am
Married With Children
Dial "B" for Virgin
TV-PG
5:30 am
My Name is Earl (SAP)
Gospel
Earl turns his karmic attentions on a reverend whom he aggrieved in the past. But forgiveness is fleeting when the religious figure finds out about Earl's many other misdeeds. Meanwhile, Joy is a blade runner: She hits Catalina with a riding mower.
TV-14