The Rehearsal DinnerThis will be the first time many of your out-of-town guests and certainly a larger portion of the guest list will lay their eyes on you and it's important to make a statement. You should stand out, and upping it one notch above the rest in terms of formality will help you achieve that. Think hip cocktail attire, with a glamorous twist achieved either by clothing cut (short or conversely, extremely long -- skip T-length), vibrant color and/or accessories. For the bride, show a little skin and opt for heels but shoes that won't kill your feet for the next day. For the dudes, I love an ultra crisp suit.
I'm actually really big about not morphing yourself into some fashion prescription that you believe is expected because you are the bride and groom. If you do, you'll end up not looking like yourselves and potentially not acting like yourselves either. Whatever your selections, you should feel that they reflect your personality whether it's the type of buttons or the color or overall shape of the attire.
Don't wear white: why compete with yourself for the next day
**overall for the first two events, you need to somewhat coordinate your look, whether that is one shared color or element. You don't want to look like you were invited to separate parties. You are hosting, after all.