Dope and Faith Tue. September, 23 at 01:00 pmStan prays for a friend and thinks God sent him one, but he turns out to be an atheist. Stan tries to convince his friend that God exists by making his life extremely hard until his plan backfires. Meanwhile, Roger convinces Steve that he has been accepted to Hogwarts.
Big Trouble in Little Langley Tue. September, 23 at 01:30 pmFrancine's Chinese, adoptive parents drop in. Stan can't stand them and tries to find Francine's real parents. When it becomes obvious they are selfish people who gave up Francine because she would cramp their lifestyle, Stan makes a detour and never introduces them to Francine. He has a new found appreciation of his in-laws.
Haylias Tue. September, 23 at 02:00 pmStan, unhappy with the decisions Hayley is making for herself, decides to set her up with a proper husband. He gets her to go along by using her "activation word" which was ingrained in her during CIA summer camp visits when she was little. She listens to everything Stan says, but because it takes too long, reverts to a "mind clause" to kill her handler - Stan.
42-Year-Old Virgin Tue. September, 23 at 02:30 pmWhile playing poker with the guys, Stan is found to be a virgin. Not in the traditional way, but in that he's never killed anyone. Roger and the guys help Stan bust his killing cherry.
Surro-Gate Wed. September, 24 at 01:00 pmWhen Francine decides to be a surrogate for her gay neighbors Terry and Greg, Stan's Republican blood boils. Although he pretends to be happy, when the baby is born, Stan kidnaps her and heads to the Nebraska border, where gay couples have no rights. Meanwhile, Steve and Roger pull a Howard Hughes and become reclusive after they think Klaus is out to get them.
Most Adequate Christmas Ever, The Wed. September, 24 at 01:30 pmAfter Stan comes home from another dangerous mission, he finds that his family has decked the halls with boughs of holly and donned themselves with gay apparel, but just not to his satisfaction.
Franny 911 Wed. September, 24 at 02:00 pmWhen Francine decides to be a surrogate for her gay neighbors Terry and Greg, Stan's Republican blood boils. Although he pretends to be happy, when the baby is born, Stan kidnaps her and heads to the Nebraska border, where gay couples have no rights. Meanwhile, Steve and Roger pull a Howard Hughes and become reclusive after they think Klaus is out to get them.
Tearjerker Wed. September, 24 at 02:30 pmStan and the family are characters in a James Bond style spoof. Stan must stop Tearjerker, played by Roger, a diabolical film producer who makes movies that can kill. Tearjerker's fiendish plot involves abducting celebrities from his spa and replacing them with celebrity robots that make horrible movies, all in an effort to make his masterpiece "Oscar's Gold" the best and saddest movie ever, causing millions of moviegoers to cry themselves to death.
Oedipal Panties Thu. September, 25 at 01:00 pmWhen Stan's mom gets dumped for the umpteenth time by a boyfriend, she comes running to Stan for support. Feeling threatened by her always-visiting mother-in-law, Francine is determined to cut Stan's umbilical cord and figure out what keeps going wrong with the men in her life. Like a regular Cagney & Lacey, Francine and Roger go undercover to solve the case. Meanwhile, Klaus gives Steve the ick.
Widowmaker Thu. September, 25 at 01:30 pmFrancine pushes Stan to open up to her emotionally, but she gets more than she bargained for when he tells her that he killed her best friend Julie's husband. Meanwhile, Roger plays psychiatrist to help them work through their issues.