Standard Deviation Mon. December, 05 at 12:00 pmIn order to avoid being sent on a suicide mission, Stan learns how to become a DJ to beat Bullock in a DJ Battle. Jeff takes up drinking psychedelic teas and Roger helps him build an imaginary musical instrument.
Pilot Mon. December, 05 at 12:30 pmSteve runs for school president to pick up girls (Stan rigs the election, CIA-style) and Hayley pays Roger in candy to write her school papers.
Threat Levels Mon. December, 05 at 01:00 pmAfter a near-death scare involving a CIA bio-toxin, Francine decides to start a job as a realtor...making more money than Stan. Also, bumfighting!
Stan Knows Best Mon. December, 05 at 01:30 pmWhen Stan's military discipline becomes too strict for the liberal Hayley, she runs off with her boyfriend. Meanwhile, Steve claims Roger as his burn-scarred sister in a valiant effort to get some boob.
Francine's Flashback Tue. December, 06 at 12:00 pmAfter a forgotten anniversary leads Stan to submit Francine for memory erasure at the CIA, she reverts twenty years back instead of twenty minutes, becoming once again the wild child she used to be.
Homeland Insecurity Tue. December, 06 at 01:00 pmWhen a new set of Iranian neighbors sends Stan off in a whirl of suspicion that leads to the destruction of Francine's block party, he must find a way to conquer the foreign threat and make it up to her at the same time.
Deacon Stan, Jesus Man Tue. December, 06 at 01:30 pmStan goes to great lengths to compete against his rival, Chuck White, and become the new deacon of their church. Meanwhile, Steve is falling in love with Chuck's daughter, Betsy.
Bullocks to Stan Wed. December, 07 at 12:00 pmHayley dumps Jeff and dates Bullock. Stan withholds his objections in order to get a promotion.
Smith in the Hand, A Wed. December, 07 at 12:30 pmSteve injures Stan's groin and feels terrible, inadvertently leading Stan to discover masturbation. Meanwhile, Roger opens a bar in the attic.
All About Steve Wed. December, 07 at 01:00 pmStan comes to terms with Steve being a geek when Steve helps him apprehend a cyber-terrorist. Meanwhile, Hayley helps Roger explore life outside the house.