Bush Comes to Dinner Mon. February, 02 at 12:00 pmPresident Bush comes to dinner when Stan wins an essay-writing contest. Hayley is determined to bring down the presidency after Roger accidentally gets Bush drunk. Meanwhile, Roger thinks he's found Osama bin Laden.
American Dream Factory Mon. February, 02 at 12:30 pmStan feels like he's not climbing the ladder fast enough at work, so he turns to his lifelong ambition of making festive teddy bears. However, when he realizes that making a quick profit takes a lot of work, he resorts to using illegal aliens as cheap labor.
A.T. the Abusive Terrestrial Mon. February, 02 at 01:00 pmFeeling shunned by Steve, Roger befriends a new boy, Henry. Their honeymoon is short lived as Henry starts abusing Roger. Meanwhile, Stan and Francine hijack the Pibbmobile in an effort to save the fledgling soft drink from going off the market forever.
Black Mystery Month Mon. February, 02 at 01:30 pmWhile researching a paper about George Washington Carver in celebration of Black History Month, Steve uncovers a conspiracy that's been going on since the Civil War. When the curator of the Smithsonian Peanut Museum reaches out to tell Steve the truth, he's mysteriously murdered, and Steve and Stan are tracked by a secret society that will stop at nothing to keep this scandalous secret of American history.
Blonde Ambition Mon. February, 02 at 09:00 pmWhen her efforts to save the planet prove hopeless, Hayley decides that she might get more attention if she becomes a blonde. Meanwhile, Stan and Steve go on a mission to find a new home for the Smiths.
CIAPOW Mon. February, 02 at 09:30 pmWhen Bullock sends a drone to do the job Stan and his colleagues are supposed to do, Stan is determined to prove that humans are better than robots. Meanwhile, Francine and the rest of the family participate in a slow motion race in the living room.
Apocalypse to Remember, An Tue. February, 03 at 12:00 pmA misunderstanding at the CIA leads Stan to believe it's the end of the world. Even after he realizes his error, he keeps his family convinced they are the last people on Earth so they will respect him. Meanwhile, Roger gets married so he can buy a new blender.
Four Little Words Tue. February, 03 at 12:30 pmStan goes to great lengths to never, ever end up in a situation ending with Francine telling him, "I told you so." She lets him hook his boss Bullock up with her friend, but when Bullock accidentally kills the woman, Stan frames Francine so she'll stop asking questions.
When Stan Loves a Woman Tue. February, 03 at 01:00 pmStan gets jealous when he discovers how promiscuous Francine was in the past. He decides the only way to even the score is to divorce Francine and sow some wild oats of his own. Meanwhile, Steve gets addicted to an energy drink.
I Can't Stan You Tue. February, 03 at 01:30 pmStan drives himself crazy worrying about his neighbors' opinion of him. Roger and Steve become con artists.